Faith (Hades Angels #1) (10 page)

He put the car in park and as soon as I started to open the door, he reached over and pulled it shut. “Laura, look at me.”

I couldn’t. I just wanted to go up to my apartment, curl into a little ball, and cry myself to sleep. This isn’t how I wanted him to find out. I wanted to tell him in my own time when I was ready for him to walk away. I just wasn’t ready for that to happen, not yet.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just want to go take a shower and go to bed.” I pushed the door open and slipped out of the car. I took my shoes off and walked as fast as I could to the door. I heard a car door slam shut behind me as I opened the door to my apartment building. I rushed to the elevator and pressed the button as fast as I could, hoping the doors opened before he caught up with me. If he even tried to, I didn’t want to know. If I hurried, I wouldn’t have to know if he tried or not. It was better this way. Better that I let him walk away now rather than later.

I leaned in to push the button again as Bryce walked up behind me and pulled my hand away. “It won’t make the doors open any faster.”

“Just go home, Bryce.” I couldn’t look at him.

The doors finally opened and I wasted no time making a beeline to the elevator buttons and hit the number for my floor. Bryce followed me.

The doors opened and I walked to my apartment. I reached into my clutch to pull out my key, dropping them in the process. I took a deep breath before bending over to retrieve them. Bryce beat me to it. He had my house key in his hand and unlocked my door and pushed it open for me. I went straight to my couch and sat down. I rested my arms on my knees and pressed my face to my hands.

“You don’t have to stay Bryce, it’s okay. I’m okay.”

“I’m not leaving.” He sat down next to me. He pulled me into him and my head pressed against his shoulder.

“No, I’m serious, Bryce. It’s okay. I’m used to being alone. You don’t have to stay.” I looked up at him with his arm still around me, holding me to him.

“Laura, I’m not going anywhere. We don’t have to talk. Just let me hold you. Let me be here for you.”

I couldn’t speak. I just nodded. I sat there with him for a while before my dress started to get itchy. I pushed away from him.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m just going to change into something more comfortable. I’ll be right back.”

I got up and went to my room, shutting the door behind me. I leaned against it, taking a deep breath. He wasn’t leaving. He wanted to stay, and he
knew
. He knew it was possible the cancer could come back at anytime. He didn’t ask if I was still sick, how I was, he just wanted to stay, to comfort me. Maybe he wouldn’t leave if I told him everything. I quickly pulled off my dress, unsnapped my bra, and slipped into a black tank top and pair of sleep shorts. I took another deep breath before walking back into the living room. I pulled a throw blanket from the chair and grabbed the television remote before joining Bryce on the couch.

He had removed his suit jacket and tie. I turned on the television and handed him the remote. I leaned my head on his shoulder and covered myself up with a blanket.

“Is this okay?” he asked as he stopped on a movie channel. It was
Step Brothers
, one of my favorites.

“Yeah.” I snuggled closer to him.

Chapter Nineteen

I woke up the next morning in my bed, unable to remember how I got there or if Bryce was still there. I opened my eyes and sat up in bed. I was alone. I got up and pushed myself out of bed, and found him asleep on the couch. I laughed to myself. Hansel and Gretel were snuggled against him. I made my way to the bathroom to get ready for the day. I took a quick shower and threw on a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt.

“You’re awake.”

“Yeah. You want to go get some coffee?” he asked as he stretched his arms above his head.

“Sure,” I replied.

“I’ll drive. Mind if we stop at my house so I can change real quick first?”

“Not at all. Let me feed the cats and get my shoes and I will be ready to go. And as you can tell, there is nothing to be jealous of.” I smiled, remembering our conversation about them.

Bryce’s house was only about five miles from where I lived. I took this opportunity to ask him a question that had been in the back of my mind.

“So, I have to ask. What happened with your ex?” I pulled on my seatbelt as he started the car.

“She is nuts. I mean, we dated for a while if that’s what you want to call it. It was never anything to me. I had known her a long time and she has always been around. I just never thought much about it. When she started talking about marriage, the red flags appeared. I told her I wasn’t going to marry her and she freaked out and grabbed a butcher knife, saying how she spent the last three years of her life with me and I owed her that. I managed to get the knife away from her and called her brother to come get her.” He shrugged like it was no big deal.

“There has to be more to the story than that. Where is she now? Do I have to worry she might be watching me or anything?”

“No, you have nothing to worry about. After her brother came and got her, she tried to kill herself and her parents had her committed. Last I heard, she was being treated for borderline personality disorder. She moved in with her parents.”

“So, you’re sure I don’t have anything to worry about?” I asked again.

“I’m sure.” He smiled and placed his hand on my thigh, squeezing in reassurance.

We pulled up to a cream colored ranch style house with a two car attached garage. It was in one of the newer housing developments. He pulled into the garage. In the spot next to us was a red Toyota Tundra.

“Yours?” I asked, getting out of his car.

“Yeah.” He smiled. “Come on. It won’t take me long to change.” I followed him inside through the garage door, and we entered through the kitchen. He dropped his keys on the table.

“Make yourself at home.” He made his way through his house.

The kitchen was open with granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances. I made my way into the living room. It was clear this was a man’s house. He had a black leather couch along one wall, and a huge flat screen television mounted on the wall opposite of the couch, along with just about every video game console possible. There was a bookshelf full of movies. His house wasn’t what I imagined it would be. It was clean and neat, no empty beer bottles or pizza boxes anywhere.

“Not what you expected?” he asked, walking down the hallway toward me.

“And you got me again. I thought I would come in and find empty beer bottles and pizza boxes all over the place. But you are just full of surprises, aren’t you?” I smiled at him, trying not to drool over the sight of him. He was leaning up against the wall with his hands in the front pocket of his jeans.

He shook his head. “You ready to go?” He stepped closer to me.

“Yeah, I am.” I felt as though my feet were stuck in place as he made his way over to me. When he was standing right in front of me, I looked up into his eyes. This man was going to be the end of me. The things he could do to me without even touching me.

He closed the distance between us and placed his hands on my hips, pulling me closer to him so that our bodies were touching, and then lowered his mouth to mine. This kiss was different than the few others we had shared. More urgent. I felt his tongue slide against the crease of my lips. I kissed him back with the same urgency. One of his hands made their way inside my shirt. I pulled back and looked up at him. The kiss, everything felt right. Perfect. It was the thought of his hands on my breasts that I couldn’t handle. If I had let him move up any farther he would have felt my scars, my boobs that are not anywhere near as soft as they should be, but most of all I didn’t want him to know how deformed I really was. I wasn’t ready for him to see that yet.

“Coffee.” I smiled at him, hoping I hadn’t offended him when I broke our kiss.

“Yeah, coffee.” He started for the door. “Coming?” he asked when he realized I hadn’t followed him.

“Yeah, sorry.” It felt as though I was standing in cement. It took me a second before I could get my feet to move, and follow him to the door.

The ride to Cups was silent and awkward. When we pulled in a parking spot, I finally spoke.

“Bryce, about earlier—”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” He started to reach for his door handle.

“No. No, it’s not okay. I need to apologize for what happened.”

“What do you need to apologize for? I kissed you and you pulled away as if you didn’t want me to touch you. If anything, I should apologize. I thought we were both on the same page, but obviously we’re not.”

“No, see, that’s the thing. We
are
on the same page.”

“Then what is it, Laura? What made you freeze?”

“What made me freeze was your hand on stomach. I…Okay, remember yesterday? How Emily decided to tell everyone that I had cancer? Well, she didn’t say where.” I looked at him to make sure he was still with me. “I won’t go deep into details because it’s not a topic I like to talk about. A few years ago, I had a double mastectomy and reconstruction. Meaning, my boobs are a mess. When you’ve seen me at work, you’ve seen what they look like, but not how they feel, or what my pasties cover. That’s why I froze.”

“What’s the big deal, you have fake boobs? That’s not uncommon, Laura.”

“The problem is the scars it left me with.”

“Everyone has scars. Some choose to hide them and some choose to wear them like a second skin.”

“I don’t think you understand. There is only one way for me to let you understand the depth of it. Can we please get our coffee and then head back to my place? There is something I need to show you.”

“Yeah. Do you want me to just run in?” he asked.

“Yes, please.” I smiled at him. Shit, I was really going to do this. I waited nervously in the car for him.

The ten minutes it took for him to get our coffees seemed like hours. I fidgeted in my seat as I stared at the door, waiting for him to return.

I became more nervous as he walked back to the car. I needed to do this. He handed me my coffee and set his in the cup holder, then took off to my place.

We walked into my apartment and I immediately started pacing.

“Okay, I need to show you something.” I paced back in forth in front of the couch where he was sitting. I just need to get this over with.

“Laura, I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think it’s going to be.”

“Okay, fine. Here goes nothing.” I stopped right in front of him, and began to lift my shirt over my head and then tossed it on the floor next to me. I reached around and unhooked my bra. I could feel the tears start to trickle from my eyes. It was now or never. He was either going to run screaming or he would feel sorry for me. I wasn’t expecting what happened next. I dropped my bra away from my body and immediately looked away from him. The tears started running down my cheeks like little streams. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would be in this position. I was showing a man what I feared most.

I felt his hands grab my hips as he pulled me to his lap so that I was straddling him. I was still looking away from him. I didn’t want to see the disgust in his eyes. He put his hands on my face, forcing me to look at him. I wouldn’t do it. I closed my eyes tight as he gently moved my face to right in front of his. He leaned his forehead against mine.

“Laura, open your eyes,” he whispered as he brushed the tears away from my cheeks with his thumbs.

I shook my head, certain that if I spoke my voice would crack.

“It’s okay, Laura. Look at me.” He trailed soft kisses from my cheeks down to my jawline, pausing before he kissed along my neck, sending chills down my body.

I still had my eyes tightly shut as he moved his hands from my face. He lifted me as he stood up, my legs wrapping around his waist on instinct as he carried me from the room. With my body wrapped around his, I opened my eyes slowly as I watched him walk from the living room to my bedroom. He closed the door behind us and laid me down on my bed. I looked up at him and watched as he took his shirt off, revealing a large scar that ran down the middle of his chest.

I looked up at him. “Open heart surgery,” he explained as he crawled on top of me, pinning me to the bed. “You’re not the only one with scars.” He gently bit down on my earlobe. He alternated between kissing and gently biting his way down my body. He moved his mouth slowly between my breasts before he took one in his hand, and kissed my scars before moving to the other one and doing the same.

My tears had dried and my insecurities disappeared little by little with each kiss, replaced with desire. A desire that became more and more urgent as I pressed myself into him, wanting, needing more from him. He rolled us so that we were side by side as he made his way back up my body. We lay there staring into each other’s eyes before I leaned in to kiss him, opening my mouth to his. Our tongues twisted together the harder we kissed. It was as if we couldn’t get enough of one another. He slid one of his hands down my body and between my legs. He rubbed my pussy on the outside of my pants. The harder he rubbed, the more I ached for his touch. I wanted more. I wanted the barrier between us gone. Our bodies moved with each other as if we were one. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him so he was back on top of me. I wrapped my legs around his waist as I pushed myself against him, needing more than what he was giving me.

I pushed the waistband of my pants down. I needed more, his hands on me, no more barriers between us. He broke away from me to pull them the rest of the way off, tossing them to the floor. I lay there shaking with anticipation on the bed, waiting for his touch. He kissed his way up my leg before stopping between my legs. He pushed them farther apart as he kissed his way up the inside of my thigh. Softly nipping at the crease where my ass met my thigh, causing me to bite my lip. He reached around my thighs, pulling me toward him, holding me in place. I felt his tongue graze my clit and I let out a soft moan as I lifted my ass off the bed. The more I tried to move, the harder he held me in place. He was driving me insane. I could feel myself getting closer and closer to the edge. I just needed that extra touch, just a little bit more, but he held it back. He removed his hand from my hip and slowly slid a finger into me as he sucked on my clit, causing me to completely lose it. My body rose off the bed as I gripped the sheets in my fists.

When he pulled away, my legs felt like rubber, unable to move just yet. He crawled up the bed, pulling me to him so that my back was against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my shoulder. I closed my eyes and let myself drift to sleep.