Faithful (25 page)

When they all moved into the sanctuary, each to his or her favorite section, Cedric fell in step with her and they joined Scott and Dana, who were already seated. Cyd told herself he was there because of the group. When Pastor Lyles returned to his series in First Peter next week, Cedric would return to his occasional attendance at the eleven thirty service.

Cyd answered him, tipping her head to the left. “I've known Jessica since she was a little thing. Her parents have been here a long time.”

Stephanie hit her arm on the other side. “Did you see Marshall down there in front where Jessica was sitting?” She lowered her voice further. “People have been wondering who the father is. Must be him.”

Cyd whispered back, “If she thinks it's any of our business, I'm sure she'll tell us.”

Stephanie had surprised Cyd when she joined them in the pew. Other than last week's combined service, it had been years since she'd come to church this early. Stephanie wasn't thrilled about it, of course. It was Lindell's doing. After the Wednesday night meeting, he called Scott to ask if he would mentor him. Scott suggested they have coffee after the first service to talk about it.

Cyd looked up now and did a low wave as Phyllis took a seat at the end of the pew beside Lindell, causing them all to shift over. Phyllis was known for being late, but late usually meant breezing in during the first song. Today she'd missed all of praise and worship and the announcements.

Jessica took the microphone from its stand and walked out from behind the podium. “Good morning,” she said, her voice naturally sweet sounding but tentative. She wore a long black knit skirt and a royal blue scoop-neck blouse that flowed over her belly.

“Good morning” sounded around the sanctuary.

She was about to speak but paused, bowed her head, then looked up again. “If you had told me last week that I'd be speaking to you all here at Living Word today, I would've said you were crazy.” She took an audible breath. “After what happened, I couldn't bear to be around my church family. I grew up here, and I knew people had high expectations of me. Plus, directing the kids' choir made me sort of a leader. I couldn't face people's stares every week, reminding me how badly I had messed up.”

She paused and lowered the microphone to her side. “You can do this,” she said to herself. It came across as a whisper.

She looked out at the crowd and continued. “I had planned to find another church, but then I told myself that they'd stare at me, too, soon as they found out I didn't have a husband. And I didn't think I'd like anyone else's sermons anyway, not after growing up on Pastor Lyles's.” She looked down at the front row and gave the pastor a shrug.

“So I've been staying home on Sundays, and my mother has brought me a CD of the service each week. When she brought last week's, she said I should listen right away, and I did. I was in tears.”

Her head dropped even now, and she brought her hand under her eye. She stayed that way a moment, finally sweeping her hand to the side. “As I listened to Scott—and, Scott, I know you're out there, and I have to tell you how much you blessed me with your honesty—”

Cyd leaned forward and acknowledged Scott. Dana covered his hand with hers.

“—but as I listened, I knew God was telling me it was time to return to Living Word. Then when the pastor said he'd be talking about singles and sex this week, I knew why it was time to return. I knew I had to say something on the topic. When I called the pastor, he was totally supportive.” She took another breath. “But it's still hard.”

“It's all right,” one of the older members told her. “Take your time.”

Jessica did, waiting a few seconds to begin again. “I wanted to stand out here away from the podium so my pregnancy would be right here before you the entire time I was talking.” She rubbed her belly with her free hand. “Sex is so enticing . . . until you get a good look at the consequences . . . I have no excuse. My parents told me the truth growing up, that God's perfect plan for me was to remain pure until marriage. I intended to wait, and I did wait . . . for a while. But this guy came along and I thought I was in love and, well, here I am.” She held out her arms and looked down at the place where a baby was growing inside of her.

Stephanie bopped her head over. “All she had to do was use protection.”

Cyd cut her eyes at her and shook her head. She was too consumed in her own thoughts to deal with Stephanie. She knew exactly what Jessica was saying. She, too, had waited until that one guy came along . . . and her ideals went out the window. But for God's grace, she could have ended up pregnant too.

“Saving sex for marriage is so outdated,” Jessica was saying. “Right? I mean, who does that? Do you actually know anyone who's doing that?”

Cedric sneaked a look at Cyd.

“I'm standing here today with the message that
I'm
doing that. I'm saving sex for marriage.”

The congregation responded with applause.

Jessica began a slow walk across the riser, more comfortable now about what she came to do. “I know somebody's saying, ‘It's too late. You're not a virgin anymore, so what's the point?' But there
does
come a point when you have to just make the decision to obey God.”

She pointed at her stomach. “This is not the only consequence of sex before marriage. The worst is having to live with the fact that you sinned against God. When you
know
it's wrong and you do it anyway, you have to live with that. And it's the worst feeling in the world.”

She stopped pacing and reflected a moment. “I was listening to the part of Pastor's sermon last week where he talked about a marriage ceremony between God and Israel in the Old Testament where they exchanged vows. God said, ‘If you obey Me and keep My covenant, you will be Mine,' and the people responded, ‘We will.'” Jessica paused, overcome.

“That's all He wants,” she said, her voice broken. “Obedience. And He gives us
so
much more in return. Pastor Lyles included marriage vows on the last page of the handout, and at first I couldn't figure out why. But then I got it—they were vows between us and Jesus, our bridegroom.” She took a breath. “He had one line in bold, and when I read it, I got on my knees in the middle of my bedroom floor and made it a prayer: ‘I pledge to be true.'” She said it again in an almost whisper. “I pledge to be true.”

A woman to Cyd's left stood up. She was holding herself, tears streaming down her face.

Jessica started pacing again, her voice stronger. “If you've never had sex, if you decided to wait until marriage, please keep your vows of obedience to God. But if you've failed like me, God will give you strength in that too. Dust yourself off and make up your mind today to obey God. Say to the Lord, ‘I pledge to be true.'”

She took a few steps in the opposite direction. “You heard Scott's confession. Maybe you've had an affair. Maybe you're on your way to having an affair. Turn from it and say, ‘I pledge to be true.'” Jessica raised her hand as high as she could, given her belly. “Who's willing to stand with me and say, ‘I pledge to be true?'”

Cyd came to her feet, weeping from the sorrow she felt still from her own bad choices, and at the same time overcome with joy that God was using Jessica in a powerful way. She waved her hand in agreement.

Others were up, too, young women in their late teens and women in their twenties and thirties, all with hands raised. Scott was up and Dana with him. Lindell grabbed Stephanie's hand and brought her up. A minute later most of the congregation were on their feet, some waving hands, some holding the pew in front of them, heads bowed, many in tears. Phyllis and Cedric were among the last to stand in their row. They were both looking on.

Jessica took in the response, smiling. “Glory to God. He's worthy! Can we pray?” She bowed her head. “Lord, You've done this, causing us to rise to our feet and pledge to be true to You. Strengthen us all. In Jesus' name. Amen.”

Pastor Lyles walked up the steps and hugged Jessica on her way back down. He said something to her, his hands on her shoulders, then hugged her again. “Guess we don't need a sermon today,” he announced. “What an awesome, awesome testimony. What an awesome move of God.”

Applause sounded again, and the pastor waited for it to die down. He walked to the podium. “Y'all know I was playing about not needing a sermon, right?”

“You didn't fool us,” that same older woman said.

“After we hear from the choir, we'll dig into the Word of God and see for ourselves what He has to say about sex.” He smiled. “Should be some interesting conversation in your I-Groups this week, huh?”

People chuckled.

“I'm hoping,” he continued, “that your discussion will center around what God thinks about sex—and ultimately, that your
lives
will center around what God thinks. Amen?”

Cyd said, “Amen,” along with a few other voices in the congre gation.

Pastor Lyles cupped his ear. “I didn't hear you.”

Cyd poked Cedric and Stephanie in the sides with her elbows.

A weak “Amen” sounded from their mouths.

S
MALL TALK MADE
its way around the room as the group waited for its last member to arrive. Cyd was about to call, but just as the thought crossed her mind, the phone rang. She left the family room and picked it up in the kitchen.

“Phyllis, where are you?” Cyd knelt to rub Reese's fur. “It's quarter after seven.”

“I won't be able to make it tonight, Cyd. Sorry for the late notice.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing really.” Phyllis didn't sound like herself. “I was getting ready, but then I realized it just didn't make sense to go. The subject is premarital sex. Not exactly relevant to the season I'm in.”

Cyd stood. “But did you look at the discussion questions? They deal with obedience generally, having a faithful heart. I think it could be a really good discussion.”

“I know, but . . . I went back and forth about it, and I think I'll just stay home.”

Cyd frowned. “It's about last week, isn't it? Phyllis, you don't have to stay away because of what happened with Hayes.”

“No, I know. That's not it.” Phyllis paused. “Hey, Cyd, I've got to run. I can hear Ella crying.”

“Okay. Let's talk tomorrow, okay?”

There was a moment's silence, then she answered, “All right.”

Cyd joined the others and let them know Phyllis couldn't make it. Dana quizzed her with her eyes, and Cyd gave her a faint nod. They both knew it was strange. Phyllis was always excited about Bible study and fellowship. She was the one who'd urged them to form the Daughters' Fellowship so they could meet regularly. Cyd made a mental note to call her later.

Stephanie and Lindell had the sofa, Dana and Scott the love seat. Cyd took the overstuffed chair beside Cedric's folding chair. Lindell asked Scott to pray again, and when Scott was done, everyone waited for Lindell to begin.

Lindell looked down at the discussion questions. “Before we start,” he said, “I have to admit that this lesson put me through some changes this week, and I want to apologize openly to my wife.”

Stephanie dropped her jaw and shifted her weight to face him, exaggerating her surprise. “I can't wait to hear this one.”

Lindell sat up straighter and spoke to the group. “I was excited about this new sermon series because I wanted
Stephanie
to hear that she was out of line trying to hook up with her old boyfriend.”

Stephanie hit his arm. “I thought you said this was an apology. So far you're just making me look bad.”

He put a hand on her leg. “I'm sorry, babe. I wouldn't be this open if we weren't among family.” He looked at Scott and Dana. “I do consider you two family now.” He cleared his throat.

“Anyway, I didn't know I would find out that
I
was out of line in my relationship with Stephanie before we got married . . . you know . . . the sex and all that. I never gave it much thought.” He looked into Stephanie's eyes. “So I wanted to apologize for being so hard on you when I needed to be looking at myself.”

Stephanie shifted away from him. “You're still making me look bad. Now you put it out there that we were sexually active before we got married.”

Cyd and Cedric arched their eyebrows.

Dana spoke up. “Uh, Steph, that wasn't a secret. I thought you two were basically living together.”

Stephanie crossed her legs. “I didn't know it was that obvious.”

“Moving right along . . .” Lindell lifted his paper. “The first question says, ‘What did you learn from this week's sermon that you didn't already know?'” He looked up. “I guess I started us off on that one. Who wants to go next?”

Cedric leaned over and anchored his forearms to his thighs, staring downward.

After a few seconds, Lindell chuckled. “Oh, I was the only one who learned something?”

“Not at all,” Cyd began. “I definitely learned something.” She wasn't thrilled about divulging her thoughts with Cedric near, but she continued. “I always looked at those verses on sex as ‘meanwhile' verses—something I had to abide by while waiting to get married. This time they spoke to me in an entirely different way, especially coming after Jessica. Now that I've turned forty, I'm realizing those verses might govern the rest of my life. I had to really consider that. I had to confirm in my heart, ‘I pledge to be true' even if I never get married.”

Stephanie made a face. “Can we be real here?”

“I was about to say the same thing.” Cedric spoke under his breath, but everybody heard him.

Stephanie turned her head to Cyd. “You're telling me if you never get married, you plan to abstain from sex for the rest of your days?”