Faking Sweet (12 page)

All the way to school Dad prattled on about what a fantastic city Sydney was, blah, blah, blah, while I rehearsed my excuse for why I couldn't help Jess with her assignment. ‘Jess, I can't help you with your assignment as I have to help my father in his office every afternoon for the rest of the year.'

No loopholes like ‘I'll try' or ‘Maybe I could help over the phone'.

It had to be like this, now that there were rules to stick to. Even delivering the excuse was breaking one of them, as I wasn't supposed to speak to Jess. Just one line could risk Jess responding with questions about Calypso, which was also against the rules. My excuse had to be brief and to the point.

I thought about handing her a note, but that would've looked stupid. Also, Jess was pretty nice to me the day of the detention. Calypso reckoned she fakes sweet but I don't think she was faking the other day. Not that I'd ever tell Calypso that. I felt guilty even thinking that way. Get a grip, Holly!

‘You see, that's the thing that makes Sydney different.' Dad was still on his craporama. ‘So I said to the old Sydney boss …'

Of course, I realised. Ask Dad. He knows about excuses. He spends his life sacking whole companies then spinning them the reasons why.

‘Dad?' I began. ‘If, if someone asked you to help them with something but you didn't want to 'cause, just say, they weren't a very nice person and you didn't want to do have anything to do with them, then what would be a good way to tell them? Like, I mean, you don't want to hurt their feelings.'

‘You know what I do in that situation, Holly?' Dad's forehead crinkled as he spoke. ‘I picture them doing something really terrible. Something I would absolutely hate. Like throwing cigarette butts out the car window.'

‘And that helps?'

‘Yep.' Dad's face broke into a grin. ‘Because by the time I go to speak to them I can't stand the dirty, littering, stinking smoker.'

‘But just say they're not a smoker?'

‘It doesn't matter,' he replied. ‘The visual image has already convinced me.'

‘So … you just make it up?' I knew my dad was a freak but I didn't realise until now just how serious his condition was.

‘It's all up here.' Dad pointed to his head.

I folded my arms and stared out the window. I didn't have to make it up. If I kept a picture of Scott and Jess in my head then that'd make it easier to deliver the excuse, and snub her for good.

But when I got to English, Jess was already in the classroom. When she saw me she leapt out of her chair.

‘Holly!' She was jumping up and down like she was about to wet her pants. ‘Guess what? I finished my assignment. Five days early too! Thank you so much. I couldn't have done it if you hadn't explained it to me. You made it so simple. Once I started writing I just couldn't stop.'

‘Oh,' I uttered. ‘Great.'

‘Sit here.' She beckoned to the desk next to her.

‘Arrr …' But before I could untie my tongue she'd pulled out the chair and pushed me into it. The next second Mrs Gideon walked into class.

‘Good morning, girls,' she said. She went straight to the white board and wrote ‘Act Two' in big letters. ‘Okay, we're going to start our Monday with a bang.' In silence she walked around the class, tapping the occasional desk with her knuckles. ‘What do we
choose
to believe? Have you ever thought of that? And …' For a moment she paused at my desk. ‘What are ways we can ruin someone's reputation? This is what Act Two is about. These are the questions we will ask ourselves. A very appropriate topic for a girls' school, don't you think?'

As always, Gideon sat up on the desk and began to swing her legs while she allocated the roles for Act Two. Predictably, I was overlooked. Of course the golden girl was offered the big one.

‘Jess – Claudio?'

‘Um, Mrs Gideon,' Jess started, ‘I have a really sore tooth. Can you give it to someone else?' I caught Mrs Gideon raise her eyebrow at Jess. Quickly Jess looked away, and I heard her mumble, ‘I do.'

So daddy dentist had even stuffed up on his daughter. I almost felt sorry for her. Almost.

‘Holly, have I given you a part?'

Was I really that forgettable? I shook my head.

‘Okay. Will you do Act Two, Scene Two as Borachio?'

‘Yep.'

Gideon then lowered her voice, ‘Jess, I want you read Don John in this scene with Holly. It's not a big role.'

How appropriate. The villain played by Jess Flynn.

Act Two, Scene One began. The girls performed it up the front of the classroom. It was quite fun. I actually had a few laughs, but I noticed Jess was silent, probably sulking because she didn't get her own way.

Mrs Gideon announced: ‘Act Two. Scene Two. Enter Don John and Borachio.'

Jess and I went to the front to commence our parts.

‘
It is so
,' Jess began. ‘
The Count Claudio shall marry the daughter of Leonato
.'

It started off okay.

Borachio, that was me: ‘
Yea, my lord, but I can cross it
.'

Then it started to go downhill, quickly, as Jess went on: ‘
Any bar, any cross, any imped … impediment, will be med … med … medicinal to me. I am sick in displeasure to him …
'

Jess stopped and licked her lips a couple of times. No one made a sound. She wiped her hand across her mouth, and I heard her throat gulp.

‘
And whatsoever comes ath, ath, athw, athw, athWART his affection …
' On and on she stumbled and stuttered, licked her lips and stuttered some more.

It was unbearable. Jess was worse than hopeless. The scene dragged on and on and on. Again I experienced the incredible temptation of wanting to whack her across the back. Or perform the Heimlich manoeuvre on her. Anything to help those words out of her mouth.

Of course any impression our act had made went straight out the window with the class's attention span. All in all, it was an excruciatingly embarrassing experience. Another one I could have done without.

‘Great,' said Gideon. ‘Let's have a quick look at that scene again, shall we?'

Great? Gideon was either the mistress of tact or a total suck-up.

‘It's a nasty scene, isn't it?'

Zero class response.

‘I mean, aren't Don John and Borachio awful characters?' She was doing her best to win us back. ‘Holly, would you share your thoughts on the scene you just performed?'

Ah, let's see. Hopeless, embarrassing, loser for a fellow actor …

‘Well,' I began, ‘Don John has offered to pay Borachio to set Hero up and make her look bad. He wants Claudio and his half brother Don Pedro to think she's having an affair with someone else. Then no one will want to marry her.'

‘That's right,' Gideon nodded. ‘Don John says to Borachio: “
Only to despite them I will endeavour anything
”, and for a fee of “
a thousand ducats
” Borachio will carry out Don John's revenge. So Don John doesn't care what happens to Hero or her reputation. He just wants revenge, and he knows Borachio can be bought. They make a wonderful couple. Who thinks Don John comes across as evil? Look at the language.'

‘It's not just Don John who's evil,' I offered. ‘I mean, Don John wants the revenge, but Borachio's happy to carry it out if there's something in it for him.'

‘Borachio's scum,' Melissa added.

‘Very perceptive, girls. They're both evil, for they don't care that in the course of their plan a good woman's reputation will be tainted. Let's make a list of the ways reputations can be damaged today.' Gideon waited at the white board. ‘Is it that different?'

‘Through the media,' someone called out.

‘Rumours,' offered another.

Jess's hand was madly waving. ‘Through lies,' she announced. I almost fell off my chair. ‘Lies are the best way to ruin a reputation.'

‘Really?' I muttered under my breath. ‘Do tell.'

‘When people lie, and I'm not talking about the media,' she said, her skin turning a rosy shade of pink, ‘when friends lie, or rather supposed friends lie, about someone, that can ruin a reputation. Sometimes forever.'

My jaw was on my lap. I swear you could've heard a cockroach fart. The whole class was dead silent. Even Mrs Gideon stood there looking useless. Jess had fooled them all. I wanted to bottle the atmosphere in the classroom and keep it in my pocket. One sniff of that bullcrap and I would have the strength and courage to follow Jess wherever she went, and plant any damn thing in that bag of hers. I had just witnessed the most astonishing example of dishonesty and hypocrisy. If there was ever a Don John it was her. Jess Flynn was evil. The amazing thing was that the only one who could see it was me, the new girl.

I crossed my legs and shot up my hand. It was time to ruffle up the plastic impostor.

‘Yes, Holly?'

‘Many of us here could feel a connection to this bit of the play,' I began carefully.

‘That's exactly what I want you to try and do. Relate it to your own life,' Gideon agreed. ‘That's the clever thing about Shakespeare. His characters although written a long time ago can still remind us of people we know today.'

‘It could even be,' I paused for effect, ‘ourselves.'

‘Absolutely.' Gideon agreed. ‘That's what great works can do: make us look within. Sometimes we see things we don't want to see or, as I said before, we choose not to see. Surely you've all read a book and thought ooh, I don't like this character, but somewhere in the back of your head you relate to them.'

Gideon was off on her ‘I'm in love with William Shakespeare' rave and I needed to bring her back to the issue of Jess Flynn.

‘So,' I said loudly. Thoughts were charging through my head. This was my last opportunity to get it out. ‘There's probably, I mean statistically let's say, one of us here who's maybe damaged someone's reputation. I mean, I guess most of us would've lied about a person at some stage. Yeah?'

I stopped for a second. Now the room was really, really silent. All I could hear was my heart pounding in my chest. I took a sideways glance at Jess, but she was busy twirling her ponytail around her finger. So I took a deep breath and said, ‘I mean, maybe there's someone in this actual class who's lied to protect their own reputation.'

‘So whose reputation have you damaged lately?' Melissa called out.

‘Yeah?' a few others followed.

‘I'm not saying
I
have, specifically,' I replied. ‘I'm saying one of us
in this room
probably has.'

‘Like who?' someone shouted.

‘Well, I don't know,' I shrugged. ‘I'm new, aren't I?'

‘Okay, that's enough, girls.' Thank goodness Gideon intervened. ‘You've discovered the dark side of this act. That's great, and you've related it to yourselves. But keep it in mind, because as we get further into the darkness of the play we come across it again and again.' For a second she stood there staring at us before she said, ‘Not everything we hear about a person is true.'

We all nodded in agreement.

The bell rang but Mrs Gideon continued. ‘So the other side of that is: why do we choose to believe some things and not others?'

Why? I could answer that in a second. Because we choose to believe the popular girls. The ones we want to be our friends. The ones that smile sweetly and say, ‘I didn't do it.'

Jess tapped me on the shoulder. I'd forgotten she was even there.

‘What?' I snapped.

‘Oh, um, I just wanted to say thanks for being so patient with me.'

‘Huh?'

‘You don't have to be polite, Holly. I'm not stupid. I'm a crap reader. I mean I'm crap at doing, you know, stuff in front of people: acting, public speaking. Don't ever ask me to go in a debate. I'd be the one spewing in the bathroom.'

‘I heard you were a champion debater?' It just popped out.

‘Me?' she laughed. ‘No way! I went in one once, and I swear
never again
! It was the worst experience of my life.'

‘Right,' I nodded. So she had been in a debate before.

‘You're not going to ask me to be in one, are you?' Jess's eyes were wide. ‘I seriously couldn't do it, Holly.'

‘No. No.' I picked up my books. ‘I was just wondering, that's all.'

I had to go to Ms Kalina's office as finally I could get my phone back. Along the corridor, down the stairs and across the quadrangle a voice in my head whispered. I'm not exactly sure what it was saying 'cause it spoke so softly, but the words were something like, ‘She said she has debated before.'

Jess only needed to have been in one debate for that fight to have occurred with her and Calypso. I mean, as if Calypso would've made it up? But it kept bugging me. So at lunch I locked myself in the last toilet cubicle and calmly sent Calypso a text.

Jess hates debating.

My hands were sweating. I wiped them across my uniform.

She told me herself. P.S. I got my mobile back.

I knew Calypso would go psycho that I'd even spoken to Jess, but I didn't care. I needed to ask her this. I sat on the loo seat and waited for her reply while the ants began to crawl again. I scratched and pulled at my hair. Any minute now I'd have Calypso's explanation and everything would be fine.

 

Five hours later, as I was emptying my sambo scraps into the kitchen bin, my phone finally made a noise.

‘That'll be Calypso,' Mum yodelled from the couch.

I tripped over the bin and bashed my knee on the cupboard as I lunged for my bag.

‘She's not worth dying for,' Mum added.

‘Shut up,' I muttered, as I rummaged through my smelly sports uniform to find my phone.