Fallen (10 page)

No wonder she ran; she probably thought I was going to kill her. Jesus, the way I came after her like that, the way I threw her down on the ground… No wonder she was terrified. 

I stuck my hands up in a non-threatening gesture. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

Her breath caught. “You’re not?”

“Of course not.” I cupped her face in my hands, mesmerized by this real-life make-believe creature. “Do you have any idea how unique you are?”

She dropped her eyes and I dropped my hands. 

I’ve gotta stop doing that.

“This blows my mind. I thought crossbreeds were some bullshit excuse for a witch-hunt, but here you are… God, it’s like finding out unicorns exist.”

She blinked in rapid succession. “Witch-hunt?”

“It doesn’t really happen anymore, but several centuries ago, if you were accused of parenting a crossbreed, you were executed. No questions asked.”

She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, then released it. It was shiny from her saliva, and had an imprint of her teeth. “You’re not gonna tell anyone, are you?”

I
might not kill her for what she was, but I knew several people who would. And there was no goddamn way I’d let that happen. “I won’t say a word, I promise.”

She exhaled a shaky breath. “So you don’t think I’m…unholy, or…
wrong
?”

I slung my arm over her shoulder and walked us out of her bathroom. “You’re amazing. Don’t let anyone make you think differently.”

*   *   *

Emily and I both halted in the living room when we saw each other that afternoon. She eyed the two big bags of groceries in my arms that I’d carried in from the service elevator, and I smiled awkwardly at her. “I didn’t know what you liked to eat, so…I got pretty much everything.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “You went grocery shopping?”

Like I was going to let her starve after she’d admitted to needing human food too. 
Please.
She was lucky I didn’t buy the whole goddamn grocery store.

My jaw tightened. “
Yes.
” I continued into the kitchen, Emily following behind. She froze when she saw Marcel, the chef I’d hired for her, standing behind the kitchen island. She glanced up at me as I set the bags down on the granite countertop. “Emily, this is Marcel. He’ll cook you anything you’d like.”

Marcel inclined his head to Emily. “Bonjour, mademoiselle.”

She nodded to Marcel and said a quick “Hi,” then turned to face me and lowered her voice. “This isn’t necessary. I can make my own food.”

I gave her a tight smile, noticing Marcel’s stare. “Humor me, will you?”

Her jaw twitched. “Fine. But if
I
have to eat, so do
you
.”

“Emily, you know I can’t—”

She turned to Marcel. “We’ll have steaks, please. As rare as you can make them.”

He nodded once. “Oui. And for sides?”

She shook her head. “No sides.”

“As you wish.” Marcel got started, opening the refrigerator and digging around. 

Emily leaned into me, whispering, “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go take a shower.”

“Wait, I need to talk to you about something first.”

She frowned at my somber expression and glanced at Marcel. “Okay…”

I led her into the living room, worrying about how to phrase what I needed to say. Tact was never my strong suit.

The crease between her brows deepened as she looked up at me. “What is it?” she asked, crossing her arms.

“You might want to sit down,” I said, absently gesturing to the couch as I paced in front of it.

Her heartbeat spiked, and I silently cursed my acute hearing. It was bad enough having to tell her this. I didn’t want to have to actually hear her heart break, too.

Sitting down on the ledge of the coffee table opposite her, I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. Her wide eyes watched my every movement, almost like she could stop me from telling her whatever bad news I had if she could only see it coming. 

“Em…”

She sucked in a breath, bracing herself.

My eyes dropped to the column of her neck. I couldn’t bring myself to see the look on her face as I said, “Your parents were notified of your passing this afternoon. So was the school.”

Her breath rushed out of her, immediately followed by a shuddering inhale. “How did you— Why—”

I glanced up at her pained and panicked words, seeing her eyes shine with unshed tears. “We talked about this, Em. It had to be done.”

“Yeah, but—” A single tear slipped onto her cheek, and she wiped it away. “I thought I had more time.”

I rested my hand on her knee. “That wouldn’t have made it any easier.”

She nodded, wiping away the tears steadily streaming down her face. “What were they told?”

“Do you really want to know?”

She gave me the smallest nod, and I sighed. “You drowned in the quarry.”

Bitter laughter escaped her and I lifted my head, seeing her look at me like the asshole that I was. “That’s smart. That way there’s no body to bury. I bet you even had witnesses too, didn’t you?”

She was right. A lot of planning had gone into getting her out of there without incident, and even though things hadn’t gone down like they were supposed to, I still took advantage of the escape plan. And I felt like a bastard for it, because there shouldn’t have been an escape plan to begin with. 

When I didn’t say anything, she stood and said, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

I got up, blocking her path. “Look, I didn’t know you when I agreed to this. You were just a name and a face. You were a
job
, Em.”

“Is that supposed to make me
feel
better? Because, guess what? It doesn’t.”

“I’m not—” I scowled and looked past her. “I’m not trying to make you feel better, I’m trying to make you see my side of things.”

She scoffed and crossed her arms. “Well, that’s impossible. I’m not a horrible person, so I can’t sympathize with things like kidnapping and—”

“I didn’t go through with it, did I? Last I checked, you were here voluntarily.”

Her nostrils flared as she studied me. I couldn’t tell if she was about to storm off or hit me. 

“Can I trust you?” she asked. 

After everything I’d done, I didn’t blame her for being wary. And yet here she was, in Paris with me. She was either really brave or really dumb.

My mouth pressed into a hard line as I stared back at her. I wanted her to trust me, but it was still a foreign concept. “I think so.”

She blinked. “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” she muttered, moving to step around me.

Moving in front of her again, I stuck my hands in my pockets as I thought of how to phrase my response. I hadn’t had to be this articulate with someone in a very long time. My words were rusty. 

“ ‘Trust’ is not a word in my vocabulary, but the more time I spend with you, the more I understand its meaning… I’m
trying
, Em, but I’m gonna fuck up. A lot. Just know that I’d never intentionally hurt you.”

She studied me for several seconds while pursing her lips, then nodded. “Okay.” And that was the end of it.

Chapter Nineteen

Monday, February 1st

EMILY

Silently padding down the darkened hallway, I paused outside Gabriel’s door, listening for the deep, even pulls of his sleeping breath. When I didn’t hear them, I knocked quietly on his door.

“Yeah?” he said.

I opened the door and stuck my head in, leaning my shoulder against the frame. “Do you mind?”

He smiled. “You know I don’t, Em.” Throwing off the covers, he climbed out of bed, heading towards me in just his boxers. “All you have to do is ask.”

He said that every time I came to him like this—lonely and late at night—but I was still reticent to ask. It was only when I couldn’t stand being alone with my demons anymore that I caved in and went to him. Together, we made the familiar trip back to my room, as we had many times in the last two weeks. 

In bed, we lay next to each other, a good foot of space between us. My back was to him and I’d just started to drift off when he said, “Em?”

My eyes fluttered open. “Yeah?”

“Why haven’t you fed?”

I cringed. So far, he’d been really good about not going there. I’d been eating raw ground beef every day, along with regular human food (at Gabriel’s insistence), and I’d slowly put some weight back on. My skin was no longer blotchy and my hair seemed fuller, shinier. I actually looked close to normal. So why’d he have to bring it up now? 

I brushed it off, forcing a smile as I turned over to face him. “I still look that bad, huh?”

He rolled his eyes. “C’mon, you know you’re gorgeous.” 

Arching a brow, I said, “You think I’m gorgeous?”

Gabriel frowned. “Stop deflecting and answer the question.”

Damn it, I hoped he wouldn’t notice… I sighed and said, “Because I won’t, okay? I refuse to give in to that…side of me.”

“But you
do
want to,” he clarified.

This whole time, I’d kidded myself into thinking that if I didn’t admit it aloud—if I didn’t acknowledge this need within me—then I could ignore it. And we all knew how well that had turned out. 

My eyes closed as I thought of Thomas, of all the ways I’d hungered for him since maturing, none of which was sexual. “Yes,” I breathed, giving credence to the one thing I’d staunchly denied for weeks. “I want to.”

He turned onto his side, scooting closer as he propped his head up. “Is that why you left?”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nodded. “I didn’t know who I was anymore. I had all these thoughts about…hurting him.” I didn’t have to say his name. Gabriel knew. I smiled through the tears spilling down my cheeks. “It’s nice to be around someone and not think of them as food. So thanks for that.” 

He laughed. The sound was deep and throaty for a change—a real, whole-hearted laugh. I didn’t hear too many of them from him. I liked it. 

Still grinning, he shrugged and said, “I do what I can.” 

My smile faded as I recalled Thomas and mine’s last night together, when it all went to shit. The look on his face, the blood on his clothes… “I, uh, actually did feed. That last night I was there.”

His brows creased. “From—”

I shook my head. “We went to the store. I blacked out and…attacked someone. Next thing I know we’re in his car and he’s telling me all this horrible stuff I did. It made me sick.
Literally.
I puked my guts out on the side of the road.” I shuddered at the memory, but my body couldn’t stop trembling.

Great, here come the waterworks again.

Emily’s eyes shined from unshed tears, and her whole body shook from the force of holding it in. I hated to see her like this. I wanted to see her happy, and smiling. She had a beautiful smile.

She has a beautiful
everything.

I frowned at the unwelcome thought, but instead of reading too much into it—’cause those were emotions I was
so
not ready to identify—I reached out and rubbed her arm, trying to offer her some kind of comfort. “Hey…”

When that didn’t work, I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her to me. She buried her face in my chest and let go, sobbing freely. I rested my chin atop her head, petting her hair.

We stayed like that for awhile, until her tears finally ebbed. She reached between us to wipe her face and murmured, “What’s she like?”

“Who?”

“My mother.”

“Oh, uh…” Calculating. Merciless. But Em didn’t need to hear any of that right now. She needed something…diplomatic. “She’s beautiful. And she loves you very much.”

Em pulled back and frowned. “If she loves me so much, then why isn’t she here? I mean, the cat’s out of the bag now. I know what I am, so…”

No one had any idea where Vivienne was. After she escaped, she just completely vanished. Even Jean-Marc couldn’t find her. “It’s complicated, Em. There are some very bad people after her, who would love to use you as leverage to get to her. She’s keeping you safe by staying away.”

She tilted her head and looked up at me. “How can she keep me safe when I’m already with the man who was hired to kidnap me?”

I scowled, wondering how many times we had to go through this. “I’m not giving you to anybody, you hear me? My boss was obviously mistaken when he thought you were his daughter, so the job’s over as far as I’m concerned.”

Her eyes narrowed. “And what if you hadn’t found that out? Would you have handed me over?”

“I could have, and I 
didn’t
, remember? After that day in the park, I could have ratted you out, and I didn’t, so what does that tell you?”

A crease formed between her brows as they pulled together, but she wasn’t upset. She looked…begrudgingly appeased. I would’ve laughed if she hadn’t said, “What did my mom do to piss him off so bad?”

She had
you.

I opened my mouth, then shut it as I winced. She was not going to like this. “Well, there’s a Mrs. Boss, and she wouldn’t be too thrilled if she found out her husband was a philanderer…”

Shock, then anger crossed her face as she pushed away from me. “So this guy cheats on his wife and hooks up with my mom twenty years ago, and then what, finds out she has a kid about that age that she’s hidden from him?”