Fallen (3 page)

“Whatever Mae, I tried to make it right and you’re stil complaining.”

“I’m not complaining,” I roled my eyes. “I just don’t want it anymore. And if that is your way of trying, try harder.” With that said I went back to my room, happy birthday to me.

Sunday had been another slow day; church in the am, an early dinner and getting prepared for the work week. I went over some homework with Jamir while Jay took Jalal shopping for a suit for graduation and who knows where Jason was. He texted my phone on Saturday night and said he had a party to host down Old City so I knew he wouldn’t be attending church with us Sunday morning. By 1

o’clock Sunday I had gotten another message saying he was safe and relaxing, I don’t know what that was supposed to mean but at least I knew he was ok. Phily was crazy so that having my men around for another day was a blessing. Even though they weren’t bad people being good doesn’t always save you. Usualy it’s the good ones that God wants closer to him anyway. What a jealous God we have.

“Hey Ramae…”

A soft whisper took to my ear that somewhat startled me out of my thoughts, taking me out of my reminiscing about the weekend. I turned around to see that little dirty blonde vixen of mine grinning ear to ear. I shook my head in pre-disbelief of what I was about to hear.

“Tori what have you done now?” I asked.

“You know who!” She said. She giggled and spun my chair completely around until we were at eye level.

“Wel, then I don’t need to know the details.”

“Guess who else?” She cut me off before my condescending tone echoed with a warning of karma. Her eyes were lit up like Times Square and her cheeks blushed. I couldn’t help but to engage in the gossip. I returned a smile just as big.

“Who Tori, do they work here?” I whispered.

“Shhhh!” Tori looked over her shoulder, but there was no one making an effort to chime into our little discussion. “Her husband.”

“Who the hel is her?” I asked, “A married man Tori? You’re going too far. This is becoming a hobby to you.” I leaned in closer.

“Joe’s husband and Joe, together.”

She bust into a huge laugh and took out her cel phone to show me the video. I quickly took the phone and exited out the screen not wanting to see the proof. This girl was insane. Not only was she having sex with our boss, but she had managed to seduce our boss’s husband. In the meantime, I couldn’t even get my own husband in the bed with me let alone someone else’s!

I took my hand off of my mouth. “We’l talk at lunch.”

Tori’s life was so exciting to me and made me wonder if I should bring some spice to my own life instead of living off of someone else’s.

I couldn’t though, a threesome? I wouldn’t even know how to approach Jay about something like that without seeming like a whore.

Besides that, if I had a threesome it damn sure wouldn’t be with another woman, and I just knew my husband wouldn’t share me with another man. But it was something I had always thought about trying. It had been so long since I had been close to another man I probably would lose my mind. Someone to show me something that Jay hadn’t or even just to enjoy someone other than Jay. I wonder if I even stil had what it would take to grab another man’s sexual interest. I tried to engage in my work but my mind was curious and distracted. Yet, not distracted enough to be unable to sense a strange presence lurking my way.

Joe walked over to my desk and smiled for the first time. I didn’t know what to expect so my face remained stil as she leaned over my desk and placed a catalog on top of it. It was a catalog made up of colector dols, none ethnic, starting with the cheapest at $300 they elevated in cost up to $5000. The dols were very real in their features and even had human hair. There were tons of outfits to choose from and you could pick out the parts and build your dol piece by piece. The catalog sold an assortment of furniture from changing tables, cribs and strolers, to spoons and plates for feeding. Everything was very detailed and appeared to come in actual life sizes. As I flipped through the catalog my mind went back to the time when the boys were babies. So little and innocent, I momentarily began to miss the days they were contempt with a bottle and a hug. I closed the booklet and handed it back to Joe but she placed it back on my desk with speed.

“Pick one.” She said.

“Um okay, but may I ask why?”

“My grandmother colects dols and her birthday is coming, I want to be prepared for it. She would be so surprised if she got the order by her birthday. Can you please just help me?”

I reopened the book and began looking for the prettiest of the life like dols. I didn’t know why I had been chosen to pick one out. To be honest, none of the dols were particularly cute. Perhaps if they threw in a black one or a fat little Asian baby in the mix, it would’ve been more competition! I never took kind to white babies. Their big heads and thin hair they just weren’t a good look.

Joe pointed out the two of her choice which both looked pretty decent. “I like these two.”

One was a boy with slick black hair and brown eyes dressed in a mint green one piece undershirt and little booties. The other was a dark brown curly haired little baby girl with sea blue green eyes and a few freckles priced at $750. She was dressed in a light purple summer dress, the kind you put a 4 month old in with the snap in between the legs. The dress had white flowers along the bottom and made me think of the little girls I would see at Kely Drive enjoying the day with their new parents.

“Wel I always wanted a little girl so I would have to go with her, she’s adorable. Why didn’t you ask Tori? You guys are friends I’m sure she knows your taste better.”

Joe gave me a half smile. “She’s not at her desk. I plan on getting her opinion too, thanks.” Then Joe rushed back to her desk to place the order.

The office was to growing stranger by the week. Joe being nice to me and asking for my advice took me further into the twilight zone than ever before.

Two o ‘clock struck fast today and I realy looked forward to my salad. I laughed at how I managed to convince myself that today’s lunch was something special, as if it was the launch of a new diet. My Run this morning left me feeling extremely energized and beautiful, the way you feel when you first start working out and your vibing off the changes to your new lifestyle. Today that Caesar salad was good! Nothing special added to it, it was the same recipe I had always used, today it was just better. I washed it down with a diet soda and decided to look through the newspaper and check out my horoscope. There it al made sense of this changing Ramae:
Happy Birthday Gemini! Today is truly a good one for you with a new sense of purpose circling your air. This is a great
time to jump into actions you have been longing to make and to take hold of situations you’re in fear of losing. Money matters
will be well in tact so take some time to focus on you and your wants! As we build new relationships don’t forget to repair the old
ones before leaving them behind. You lucky days are the 5th, 14th, 17th, and the 25th of June.

Wel I can’t identify with everything but I do feel a stronger sense of purpose and life. I decided this morning to just let matters take control of themselves, Jay, Me, and even my weight wil al play out day to day. As for the 5 th, that would be Friday and my birthday! I wasn’t too sure what Jay planned but regardless it would be great. Oh I weighed myself on Sunday (a much dreaded thing to do), and I was down two more pounds! So you can imagine how ready I was to buy a new outfit and show off my work for my birthday. No doubt Porscha would have something fun planned for me on Saturday and I would get the house to myself to relax on Sunday. For the past three years I have told them that the Sunday after my birthday is my ME day! That means no one in the house but ME from 10am to 10pm. I spend the whole day lounging in my PJs, facials, pedicures, manicures, movies and whatever else I felt like doing. I listen to my favorite CDs and order out every meal from breakfast to dinner. Yes ME day was my birthday gift to myself. Halfway through my lunch Tori tapped my left shoulder and asked if I was ready for the gossip, and of course I was.

“Okay, so apparently Joe was getting tired sneaking around and was ready to tel her husband Michael about our affair.” Tori began.

“The problem was I don’t have any intentions on breaking up their marriage, I just wanted to have some fun. I don’t need that stress on me, Joe, or the job. So I convinced Joe to have a threesome. You know, in order to ease me into the picture.”

“What? What kind of conclusion is that?”

“A good one.” She said and laughed.

“Okay I need to know how you puled this one off.”

“ Michael had discussed his fantasies in the past with Joe, and mentioned how he had a threesome when he was in high school and always wanted to enjoy one with his her. So on Saturday, Me and Joe pretended to meet each other for first time at a bar and struck up a drunken conversation with Michael about sex dreams. I told him I had a dream about having a threesome with a girl that looked just like Joe the night before, and how I wished it was true.”

“Oh my God.”

“Joe joked and chimed in saying they should do it, and of course, Michael was turned on. From there we went back to Joe’s place, and fantasies became real.” Tori sighed. “I was stuck there al weekend, I didn’t get home until this morning.”

“Poor Tori.”

“Poor me is right,” she said. “can you believe Michael has been caling my phone al morning! I don’t know what to do. He keeps asking to take me to lunch. He doesn’t even know I work with Joe!” She burst out in laughter.

“You are a mess.”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

For the rest of the week I got to enjoy watching their antics play out before my eyes. As each day went by, Joe fel deeper and deeper into Tori’s rabbit hole, being used as a pawn for her pleasure. The problem was, Joe had the look of love, the look you have in your eyes when you’re sure of what you want and you won’t let anything come in between you and that person. She would watch Tori’s every move more closely than before and feelings were beginning to pour into the work place. I’m not sure if people were beginning to catch wind of their relationship, but they definitely sensed something weird in the air. The littlest things could tip a person off. And a little messiness in one’s actions could go a long way. On Wednesd ay just that happened when Tori decided to go to lunch with a co-worker Paul who was new to the job. It was strictly friendly and Tori knew that he would be helping her on a project in some weeks to pass and decided to familiarize herself with his work experience.

The fact that she had made a lunch date without consulting with Joe first must’ve lit a fire in her chest that burned throughout her body.

You could see the anger in her eyes as she stormed at Tori and grabbed her arm before she made her way out the door. Tori snapped around to see who had her arm and Joe’s smile was that of the devil’s best friend.

“I need you to help me with something” She sharply stated starring deep into Tori’s eyes.

“I wil help you when I come back, Paul and I are going to lunch” Tori replied.

“Wel you can go to lunch in an hour I need you now” The raise in her voice and its sternness got the attention of a few other workers, who peeked their heads around their cubicles.

“I’m going to lunch” Tori shrugged.

I chuckled at my desk as Joe walked by cutting her eyes at me with no words to speak. She slammed her office door and didn’t come back out for the rest of the day.

*********************************************

It was finaly the 5th and nobody could tel me nothing. Jay woke me up licking me in al the right places. I missed his cushioned lips. I spread so quickly enjoying every move he made. His tongue was sensual and ful of passion like always. I clenched my legs together. He reminded me of his love and wished me the best birthday ever. The boys al got me gifts that I adored; a bracelet from Tiffany’s, a satin robe and a gift card to my favorite Mexican restaurant, Vida. My morning had started off excelent it was so good I didn’t mind putting in a few hours at work before enjoying my half a day.

When I got to work Tori had some white lilies for me, my favorite, and a bottle of champagne. I was so happy I couldn’t wait to open it when I got off to feel those smooth bubbles relax my throat. Everyone was easy on me, so my day went fast and 1 o’clock came quicker than I expected. I took my time getting home, it was stil early and my hubby was stil out working hard. I stopped at Vida for lunch to waste some time, then I headed to King of Prussia mal to do a little shopping. Instantly I wanted to splurge and treat myself to a new pocketbook. I had been very good with my spending, as my horoscope had mentioned, and it was my birthday. If Jay decided to blow up about it I’d just blame the impulse on the lack of bedroom loving I had been receiving. Yes, a new pocketbook was the perfect accessory to my birthday weekend.

I stopped in the Louis Vuitton store with instant eyes on me. The funny thing is, they weren’t eyes of
this black woman can’t afford
, more like eyes of
who this black bitch think she is
from some brown skin little gay man with black skinny leg dress pants, and a phony smile. I just laughed and shook my head. Black people so quick to judge and ready to knock the next out of the way from stepping up. A friendly little white girl with dark chestnut colored hair, and skinny enough to be folded in to one of my bags assisted me with my purchase.

She showed me a catalog of what they had and a few things around the store. I settled on a vintage styled bag in the shape of a square with a short handle. It reminded me of the big makeup cases stars and their makeup artist would carry back in the day. I couldn’t wait to show Porscha.

I walked through the mal feeling classy and lucky. My horoscope was right, my money was intact and it was time to look out for me. I took my time getting home; I was just enjoying the day.