Fallen Too Far (5 page)

              Tonight I had pulled the dress out of my bag. It wasn’t expensive by these people’s standards. It was actually pretty simple. The red material was soft chiffon. I glanced down at my mom’s silver heels that I’d kept. They had been the ones she’d worn the day of her wedding. I had always loved them. She never wore them again but they were kept in a box wrapped up tightly.

              I risked a big chance of going out there and being humiliated. I didn’t fit in with them. I’d never fit in at my high school either. My life was just one big awkward moment. I needed to learn to fit in. To walk away from the awkward girl who was left out in high school because she had bigger issues.

              Standing up, I ran my hands over my dress to get out any wrinkles from sitting there thinking over the wisdom of joining the party. I would walk out there. Maybe get a drink and see if anyone spoke to me. If it was a complete disaster, I could always run back in here, put on my pajamas and curl up in bed. This was a good small step for me.

              Opening the pantry door, I stepped into the kitchen very grateful that no one was in there. Walking out of the pantry would be slightly hard to explain. I could hear Grant’s voice laughing loudly and talking to someone in the living room. He would talk to me. I could ease into this with Grant. Taking a deep breath, I walked out of the kitchen and down the hall into the foyer. White roses and silver ribbons were everywhere. It reminded me of a wedding instead of a birthday party. The front door opened startling me. I stopped and watched as familiar dark smoky eyes met mine. My face felt warm as Woods’ eyes took a long slow appraisal of me.

              “Blaire,” he said when his eyes finally made their way back to my face. “I didn’t think it was possible for you to get any sexier. I was wrong.”

              “Hell, yeah girl. You clean up real nice.” The guy with curly blond hair and blue eyes smiled at me. I couldn’t remember his name. Had he even told me?

              “Thank you,” I managed to croak out. I was being awkward again. This was my chance to fit in. I needed to work on that.

              “I didn’t know Rush had started golfing again. Or are you here with someone else?” Confused it took me a moment to understand Woods meaning. When I realized that he thought I was here with someone who I had met at work I grinned. That wasn’t the case at all.

              “I’m not here with anyone. Rush is um… well Rush’s mother is married to my father.” There that explained it.

              Woods’ slow easy grin got bigger as he walked toward me. “Is that so? He is making his stepsister work at the country club? Tsk tsk. The boy has no manners. If I had a sister that looked like you I’d keep her locked up… all the time,” He paused and reached up to brush his thumb across my cheek. “I’d stay with you of course. Wouldn’t want you to be lonely.”              

              He was definitely flirting. Heavily. I was way out of my league with this one. He was too experienced. I needed some space.

              “Those legs of yours should come with a warning. Impossible not to touch,” his voice lowered a notch and I glanced over his shoulder to see that blondie had left us.

              “Are you… are you friends with Rush or uh, Nannette?” I asked remembering the name Grant had used to introduce us the first night.

              Woods shrugged, “Nan and I have a complicated friendship. Rush and I have known each other our entire lives.”  Woods hand slid behind my back. “I’m betting like hell Nan isn’t a fan of yours, though.”

              I wasn’t sure. We hadn’t really had any contact since that first night. “We don’t really know each other.”

              Woods frowned, “Really? That’s odd.”

              “Woods! You’re here,” a female squealed as she entered the room. He turned his head to see a red headed girl with long thick curls and a curvy body barely covered with black satin. This would be his distraction. I started to step away and go back toward the kitchen. My moment of bravery was now gone.

              Woods hand clamped down on my hip, firmly holding me in place. “Laney,” was all that Woods said in response. Her big brown eyes shifted from him to me. I watched helplessly as she took in his hand settled on my hip. This was not what I wanted. I needed to fit in.

              “Who is she?” the girl snapped her eyes now glaring at me.

              “This is Blaire. Rush’s new sister,” Woods replied in a bored tone.

              The girl’s eyes narrowed and then she laughed. “No, she isn’t. She’s wearing a cheap ass dress and even cheaper shoes. This girl, whoever she says she is, is lying to you. But then you were always weak when it came to a pretty face, weren’t you, Woods?”

              I really should have stayed in my room.

              “Why don’t you go back to the party and find some stupid male to sharpen your claws on, Laney?”

              Woods moved toward the door where the majority of the party was going on with his hand still firmly on my hip forcing me to go with him.

              “I think I should just go to my room. I shouldn’t have come out here tonight,” I said, trying to stop our entrance into the party. I didn’t need to walk in there with Woods. Something told me it was a bad idea.

              “Why don’t you show me to your room? I’d like to escape too.”

              I shook my head. “Not enough room for both of us.”

              Woods laughed and bent his head to say something in my ear as my eyes locked with Rush’s silver gaze. He was watching me closely. He didn’t look happy. Had his invite today been out of courtesy and not truly intended? Had I misunderstood?

              “I need to leave. I don’t think Rush wants me here.” I turned to look up at Woods and stepped out of his embrace.

              “Nonsense. I’m sure he is entirely too busy to worry about what you’re doing. Besides, why wouldn’t he want you at his other sister’s party?”

              There was that sister thing again. Why had Grant told me that Rush had no siblings? Nan was obviously his sister.

              “I, uh, well, he doesn’t actually claim me as family. I’m just the unwanted relative of his mother’s new husband. I’m actually just here for a couple more weeks until I can move out on my own. I’m not a wanted resident in this house.” I forced a smile, hoping Woods would get the picture and let me go.

              “There is nothing about you that is unwanted. Even Rush isn’t that damn blind,” Woods said closing in on me again as I backed away.

              “Come here, Blaire.” Rush’s demanding tone came from behind me as a large hand slipped around my arm and pulled me back against him. “I didn’t expect you to come tonight.” The warning in his tone told me I had misunderstood his invite. He hadn’t truly meant it.

              “I’m sorry. I thought you said I could come,” I whispered embarrassed that Woods was hearing this. And others were watching it. The one time I decide to be brave and step out of my shell and this happens.

              “I hadn’t expected you to show up dressed like that,” he replied with a deadly calm. His eyes were still directed at Woods. What was so wrong with my clothes? My mom had sacrificed for me to have this dress and I’d never gotten to wear it. Sixty dollars was a lot of money for us when she’d bought it. I was sick of this stupid bunch of spoiled brats acting like I was dressed in something repulsive. I loved this dress. I loved these shoes. My parents had been happy and in love once. These shoes were a part of that. Damn them all to hell.

              I jerked free of Rush and headed back to the kitchen. If he didn’t want me in here for his friends to laugh at then he should have said so. Instead, he’d made me feel like a fool.

              “What is your fucking problem, man?” Woods asked angrily. I didn’t look back. I hoped they got in a fight. I hoped Woods busted Rush’s obnoxiously perfect nose. I doubted it because although Rush was one of them he looked rougher around the edges.

              “Blaire, wait,” Grant called out and I wanted to ignore him but right now he was the closest thing I had to a friend here. I slowed down when I reached the hallway away from all the onlookers and let Grant catch up to me.

              “That wasn’t what you think in there,” Grant said, coming up behind me. I wanted to laugh. He was very blinded where his brother was concerned.

              “Doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have come. I should have known he hadn’t meant that invitation. I wish he’d just told me to stay in my room like he wanted me to. I don’t understand word games,” I snapped and stalked into the kitchen and straight to the pantry.

              “He has issues. I’ll give him that but he was protecting you in his weird screwed up way,” Grant said as my hand met the cold brass handle on the pantry door.

              “Keep believing the best in him, Grant. That’s what good brothers do,” I replied and jerked the door open and closed it behind me. After a few deep breaths to ease the ache in my chest I went into my room and sank down onto the bed.

              Parties were not my thing. That was the second one I’d ever been to and the first one hadn’t been much better. Actually it was probably worse. I’d gone to surprise Cain and I’d been the one surprised. He’d been in Jamie Kirkman’s bedroom with her naked breast in his mouth. They hadn’t been having sex but they were definitely working their way up to it. I’d closed the door quietly behind me and left through the back door. Some people saw me and knew what I’d walked into. Cain had shown up at my house an hour later begging me to forgive him and crying while on his knees.

              I’d loved him since I was thirteen years old and he’d given me my first kiss. I couldn’t hate him. I just let him go. That was the end of our relationship. I eased his conscience and we had remained friends. Sometimes he had broken down and told me he loved me and wanted me back but for the most part he had a different girl in the back of his mustang every weekend. I was just a childhood memory.

              Tonight no one had betrayed me. I’d just been humiliated. Reaching down I slipped off my mother’s shoes and placed them safely back in the box she’d always kept them in. Then I put them back into my suitcase. I shouldn’t have worn those tonight. The next time I wore her shoes would be special. It would be for someone special.

              The same went for this dress. When I put it back on I would wear it for someone who loved me and thought I was beautiful. The price tag on my dress wouldn’t matter. I reached up to unzip it when the door opened and the small doorway was filled with Rush. A very angry Rush.

              He didn’t say anything and I let my hands fall back to my side. I wouldn’t be taking my dress off just yet. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He was too much for this small room. I had to back up and sit down on the bed so that he could fit without us touching.

              “How do you know Woods?” he snarled.

              Confused, I stared up at him and wondered why he didn’t like me knowing Woods. Weren’t they friends? Was that it? He didn’t want me around his friends. “His dad owns the country club. He golfs. I serve him drinks.”

“Why did you wear that?” he asked in a cold hard voice.

              That was the last straw. I stood back up then inched higher on my tiptoes so that I was in his face. “Because my mother bought it for me to wear. I was stood up and never got the chance. Tonight you invited me and I wanted to fit in. So I wore the nicest thing I had. I’m sorry that it wasn’t quite nice enough. You know what though? I don’t give a shit. You and your uppity spoiled friends all need to get over yourselves.”

              I pushed his chest with my finger and glared at him daring him to say one more word about my dress.

              Rush opened his mouth then closed his eyes tightly and shook his head. “Fuck!” he growled. Then his eyes flew open and his hands were suddenly in my hair and his mouth was on mine. I didn’t know how to react. His lips were soft but demanding as he licked and bit my bottom lip. Then he pulled my top lip into his mouth and sucked gently. “I’ve been wanting to taste this sweet plump lip since you walked into my living room,” he murmured before slipping his tongue into my mouth as I gasped at his words. He tasted like mint and something rich. My knees went weak and I reached up to grab his shoulders to hold myself steady. Then his tongue caressed mine as if asking me to join him. I took a small swipe of his mouth and then bit down gently on his lower lip. A small groan came from his throat and the next thing I knew I was being lowered onto the small bed behind me.

              Rush’s body came over mine and the hardness that I knew was his erection pressed between my legs. My eyes rolled back in my head and I heard a helpless moan come from my lips.

              “Sweet, too sweet,” Rush whispered against my lips before tearing his mouth away and jumping back off of me. His eyes zeroed in on my dress. I realized it was now up around my waist and my panties were showing. “Mother
fucking
shit,” he cursed then slammed a hand against the wall before jerking the door open and exiting like he was being chased.

             
The wall shook from the force he put into closing it. I didn’t move. I couldn’t. My heart was racing and there was a familiar ache between my legs. I’d been turned on before watching sex on television before but never this intensely. I was so close. He hadn’t wanted to like it but he had. I’d felt that but then I’d also seen him having sex with some girl. In addition, I knew last night he’d had sex with another girl and then sent her packing. Getting Rush hard wasn’t a large feat. I hadn’t actually accomplished anything. He was just mad because it had been me that had turned him on.

             
It hurt. Knowing he disliked me so much that he didn’t want to think I was attractive. The throb between my legs slowly faded as reality set in. Rush hadn’t wanted to touch me. He had been furious because he had. Even turned on he had been able to walk away from me. I had a feeling I was in a minority. Most girls that wanted him got him. Me he couldn’t bring himself to mess with. I was the poor white trash he was stuck with until I got enough money to move out.

             
I rolled over and curled up into a ball. Maybe I wouldn’t be wearing this dress again. It now held even more sad memories. It was time I packed it away for good. Tonight though, I’d sleep in it. This would be my farewell to a dream. The one where I was enough for some guy to want.