Falling Fast, Contemporary Romance (Last Frontier Lodge Novels Book 4) (16 page)

Marley stopped typing and looked up with a smile. “She’s like that. One second she’s awake, the next she’s dead to the world. I wish I could fall asleep like that.”

Ginger stroked her index finger through the downy fuzz on the top of Holly’s head. “How is she sleeping at night now?”

Marley set her laptop on the coffee table and leaned back into the corner of the couch. “So, so,” she replied, flipping a hand back and forth. “Some nights are better than others, but I’m lucky if I get four straight hours. She’s only a few weeks old, so I figure we’re lucky if we get more than an hour at a time.”

“How’s Gage handling it?”

“Oh, he’s great. I never thought about it before, but his days as a Navy SEAL mean he can function pretty damn well without much sleep. He said when they were on missions, they slept in fits and starts, so he learned to crash fast and wake up in a snap. He gets up as much as I do during the night. It’s funny because we try to take turns if Holly wakes up, but it doesn’t really matter because we’re both up anyway.”

Holly started to tilt heavily to one side, so Ginger carefully shifted her into the pillowed infant seat between her and Marley on the couch for this purpose. Holly didn’t bat an eye, and immediately settled into her cushiony seat with a gurgle and a sigh. Marley lifted a soft fleece blanket off the back of the couch and laid it over Holly.

Ginger felt a pang in her chest. It was so sweet to watch Marley with Holly. It made her long for something she’d thought she was past wanting. When she’d married Tony right after college, she’d figured they’d have children. She hadn’t gotten too specific in her hopes. They’d both attended college in Washington, and Tony had moved to Alaska with her, but he’d wanted to start in Anchorage so he could more easily find work. She should’ve seen the red flags at the time. He’d resisted moving to Diamond Creek, but she’d been happy to stay in Anchorage for a while because she was in the midst of applying for graduate programs. Her loosely formed hopes had splintered when Tony stopped even bothering to hide his extracurricular relationships. After she made her simple decision not to get involved with anyone ever again, she’d washed her hands of any ideas about having a family. With Cam having blown down the doors guarding her heart, she was getting emotional about all kinds of things. Including babies. As the cracks in her defenses widened, she felt more and more vulnerable. She didn’t want to want something she might not be able to have.

Marley stood up and stretched. “Want something to drink? We’ve got water and apple juice.”

Ginger glanced up, relieved for the interruption in her train of thought. “Just some water.”

While Marley walked to the kitchen adjacent to the living room, Ginger looked out through the windows that ran the length of the room. Marley and Gage’s private quarters were above the restaurant. They had an expansive living room with the kitchen and dining room to one side. A short hallway led to the bedrooms in the back. The windows looked out over the mountains with a clear view of the ski slopes. Kachemak Bay was visible to the side with the sun striking sparks on its surface this afternoon. Having grown up in Diamond Creek, the mountains and the bay were almost a part of Ginger. She felt soothed simply looking outside.

She scanned the slopes, wondering if she could pick Cam out of the skiers on the mountain.
Wow. How bad can this get? You’re staring out the window hoping to see him skiing somewhere. Are we back in high school now?
She mentally shook herself, trying to shut up her sarcastic inner critic. She couldn’t stop her eyes from scanning the slopes and smiled when she saw Cam. She knew without a doubt it was him because of his speed and grace. He easily wove through a cluster of skiers where two slopes met. Once clear, he curled forward and headed straight down the slope. The snow swirled up around him when he came to a swift stop at the base of the mountain.

Marley walked back over and set a glass of water down on the coffee table. She followed Ginger’s gaze out the window and slowly grinned. “Ah, watching Cam ski is a thing of beauty.”

Ginger flushed and tore her eyes away from Cam. It was ridiculous to be staring at him like this. He wasn’t even near her and seeing him got her flustered. The days and nights kept rolling by, and she couldn’t seem to go more than a few days without a taste of him. She was constantly teetering on the edge of asking him how he felt about her, or what he wanted. She chickened out every time. While she couldn’t seem to control her attraction to him, she wasn’t ready to try to discuss anything. The chemistry snapped and crackled between them, its own living and breathing force. It burned so hot and fast, all she could do was dive headfirst into it. Running away didn’t seem to be an option. She knew they were approaching a point where she needed to find a way to think about what she wanted and make some sort of attempt to talk about it. For now, she kept reminding herself not to think of this as anything other than temporary.

Marley cleared her throat. Ginger snagged her water and took a gulp. “What?” she asked when Marley arched a brow.

“Aside from the fact Cam’s fun to watch ski, how’s it going with him?”

“What do you mean?”

Marley sighed and absently rubbed the edge of Holly’s blanket between her fingers. “Seems like you two have been spending a bit of time together. I’m not asking to be nosy, but you’re my best friend and I want to know how you’re doing.”

Ginger sighed and hooked her elbow over the armrest. “I know you’re not just being nosy. Well, I mean, you
are
,” she threw a grin Marley’s way “but I understand why. If I knew how it was going, I’d say so. I’m all mixed up in my head. We’ve been spending time together…”

“Between the sheets?” Marley asked with a sly grin.
Ginger rolled her eyes. “Where else?” she countered before returning to where she left off.
 
“Anyway, I don’t know. I can’t seem to think straight, but I can’t stay away from him either. You had your brilliant idea that maybe I just thought he was hot like everyone else who lays eyes on him. Problem is that doesn’t seem to be working. I mean, I think it’s more than that. I hate this. I’m all worried what he’s thinking and I’m constantly questioning myself and…”

Marley reached across Holly and rested her hand on Ginger’s shoulder. “Breathe,” she said softly.

Ginger, whose words had been tumbling out of her mouth, paused and took a deep breath. “Good idea,” she said ruefully. “See, this is exactly why I decided it was best not to try to deal with relationships again. It makes me feel half-crazy in my head.” She took another gulp of water and set it back on the coffee table.

Marley gave Ginger’s shoulder a squeeze before her hand dropped to stroke Holly’s head. “Okay, right. You’re running in circles in your brain. How do you feel when you’re with Cam?”

Therein lay the rub. When Ginger was with Cam and not caught up in ruminating about what was happening, she felt…good. He had a low-key, quiet sense of humor and was easy to be around. Whenever he spoke of his family, it was clear he loved them. Watching him here only endeared him to her more. He was amazing with the kids he taught and had somehow blended in seamlessly with the friends who made up her closest circle. Adding it all up together, and she started to get a slightly queasy feeling in her stomach.

It was bad enough she had to adjust to the reality that she wasn’t immune to being attracted to someone. Cam had thoroughly disproved her of that illusion. Even worse, the sex with him was mind-bogglingly good. Good didn’t even come close to capturing what sex with Cam was like if she was being honest with herself. All of that and she
liked
him, she
really
liked him. And it terrified her. She glanced to Marley and sighed. “That’s the problem. I feel great when I’m with him.” Then, she burst into tears.

***

Cam stepped into the back hallway at the lodge and turned to kick the wet snow off of his boots. The weather was clearing, but a snowstorm had blown through this morning and left wet, heavy snow behind. He’d spent the last few hours helping Don and Gage groom the slopes and trails and clear the wet snow off of the lifts and away from any entrances. The sun had broken through the clouds within the last hour, and the skiers had come out of the lodge in force. Cam was covered in damp snow. After he stepped into the room at the end of the hall, he kicked off his boots and left them to dry atop a rack with a drain underneath specifically to allow the melting snow to drain away instead of leaving a puddle on the floor. He peeled off his hat, gloves, and outer gear, shaking everything thoroughly. He grabbed a towel from his locker and dried off before making his way toward his suite for a shower.

As he passed through the main reception area, his eyes caught on a flash of bright red. He turned to look through the window and saw Ginger walking up the steps, her red scarf flapping in the wind. At the moment, the reception area was empty by virtue of it being mid-afternoon with most of the guests out on the slopes. He paused by the desk. The effect Ginger had on him was making him feel more out of control than he preferred. He had hoped the attraction between them would burn off, but he was well past believing that was possible. Just now, all he had to do was see her through the window and bolt of lust shot through his body.

She tugged the heavy front door open, a gust of wind coming inside with her. She didn’t notice him right away, giving him a moment to watch her unwind her scarf and brush her fingers through her wind blown hair. His heart pounded hard and fast. She glanced up and her blue eyes collided with his. A slow smile spread across her face. “Hey,” she said softly.

“Hey. Didn’t know you were stopping by.”

She held up a bag in her hand. “Marley called for an emergency diaper run. Gage was supposed to run to the store this morning, but she said he was tied up clearing snow after the storm blew through.”

As Cam was about to reply, Harry came through the archway from the restaurant. He glanced up and arched a brow when he saw them. “Hey Ginger, you here on diaper delivery?”

“Yup. They’ll have enough to get through the week. Is Marley upstairs?” she asked.

Harry stepped behind the desk and powered on the computerized register. “I think so. I haven’t seen her since this morning.”

“Well, I’ll see if I can find her.” Ginger tossed a smile at both of them before she walked past Harry.

Cam watched her go and wished he knew how to categorize whatever was happening with them. They weren’t trying to hide the fact they were seeing each other, but they’d yet to talk about it. It was impossible to keep it off the radar in the tight-knit world of Diamond Creek and the even tighter-knit world of Last Frontier Lodge. Problem was Cam felt like he was hurtling down a ski slope at high speed when it came to Ginger. Whenever she was near, he could hardly look away. His body had a very clear idea of what he wanted—
her.
If only he knew how to handle the feelings that went along with it.

He suddenly realized he was just standing there staring at the now empty place where Ginger had vanished. He shook his head and turned at the sound of Harry’s chuckle. Harry rolled his eyes the moment Cam looked over. “You are so obvious, it hurts to watch,” Harry said.

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe you haven’t figured it out yet, but you are seriously into Ginger, and it’s way more than casual. That’s what I mean,” Harry said pointedly.

Cam’s stomach did a slow flip. He took the few steps to the desk where Harry was typing something into the register and leaned an elbow on it. He wasn’t sure what he meant to say, but he needed someone to help clear his head. “How do you know?” he finally asked.

Harry stopped typing and leaned his hips against the desk. “It’s the way you look at her. I’m no expert, but if you were just after a fling, you wouldn’t look half-lost when she left the room.” His eyes narrowed as he considered Cam. “What do you want?”

Cam’s stomach did another slow flip. The answer came quickly—he wanted Ginger and for reasons that went far beyond the attraction burning so hot and fast between them. He wasn’t ready to say that aloud just yet, in part because he was uncertain of how Ginger felt. “Wish I knew what she wanted.” The words slipped out.

“Well, maybe you should ask her.”

Cam shook his head with a rough laugh.
 
“Now, that’s too obvious.”

“Maybe, but that’s what people do when they’re in a relationship.”

“Is that what we’re in?” It was becoming painfully evident he needed to find a way to answer so many of his own questions.

Harry shrugged. “Looks like it to me. It might not be any of my business, but I’m surprised you two haven’t set this place on fire the way you look at each other. In case no one else has mentioned it, Ginger doesn’t really do casual. I was surprised as hell when I caught on to you two. I’m not sure what it means for her, but I’ll repeat myself for good measure. Talk to her.”

Someone called Harry’s name from the restaurant. He glanced over his shoulder and back to Cam. “Maybe you should take her to dinner somewhere other than here? That way, you’ll actually have a chance to talk. It won’t happen here, not with everyone around.” At that, Harry gave a small wave and stepped away from the desk, striding quickly into the restaurant.

Chapter 15

Ginger fiddled with the placement of her silverware and took a sip of water. Cam had surprised her by suggesting they go out for dinner somewhere. She didn’t know why it should be surprising, but it was. This
whatever
they had going had been compartmentalized to the lodge and occasional stays at her house. Actually going somewhere in Diamond Creek made it seem more real somehow. She felt restless and emotionally knotted up inside at the idea. He’d looked to her for a suggestion, so she’d mentioned Glacier Pizza because it had amazing pizza and she felt comfortable there. Once they were on their way, she’d had second thoughts because she worried who might see them. It was yet another layer of making their relationship real—something other than the surreal, hot nights they shared. Glacier Pizza was the most popular pizza place in Diamond Creek for locals, so it was unlikely they wouldn’t run into someone they knew. Cam had stepped away from the booth to go to the restroom, so she took a look around.