Falling Hard (2 page)

She finally gave up her attempts at conversation and sat staring out the window.

The silent ride home gave me a chance to think. Jim had gone too damned far this time. As soon as I got home, I was going to order him and his jailbait girlfriend out of my house and my life. He could damn well drag her to California with him. I really didn’t care what he did with her—as long as he got her out of my hair.

But Jim was long gone by the time we got back to the apartment. I felt like punching a hole through the wall as I read his message.

Don’t be angry, Tom, but I decided to leave early for L.A. so you two can have some time to get to know each other. I promise she won’t be any trouble. You’ll hardly know she’s there and I’ll be back to take her with me before you know it. Tell her I love her and I love you too for always being there for me.
Jim

How could I stay angry after reading that?

“Is that from Jim?”

I looked up to find her watching me. I nodded.

She bit her lip. “He's gone. Isn't he?”

She looked and sounded so hopeless, I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth. “He says he loves you.” Weary and dismayed by my predictions, I turned away. “I need a drink.”

“You drink?”

She made indulging sound like a deadly sin. And since I wasn't in the best of moods, I didn't bother answering.

I tossed her suitcases into Jim's room and slammed into mine. In the morning, she'd better come up with an idea of where she planned to spend the next few weeks because there was no way I was going to make myself responsible for jailbait.

I woke the next morning with a roaring headache. I needed a cup of coffee and some aspirin. I pushed the covers off the bed and stumbled into the hallway and toward the bathroom.

I shoved the door open and froze. Tanya was on her knees, leaning over the toilet, her long dark hair covering her face. “Oh, Jim! Why did you leave me alone?” She sobbed like a lost little girl.

Like most men, I don’t handle weeping females very well. For a long moment, I just stood there. Why me? Why did every favor I do for Jim yield nothing but problems and regrets?

How was I supposed to cope with a hurling teenager? She didn't appear to be aware of my presence. I could quietly back out and--

Then I realized there was really only one thing to do in the face of her distress. I wet a hand towel and knelt beside her on the cold, tile floor. “You’re not alone,” I said as I put an arm around her shoulders.

She turned towards me, still sobbing.

I raised the towel and gently wiped her face.

She shook her head, her eyes filling with fresh tears as she looked up at me. “I’m sorry. I know you don’t want me here.”

Gazing down at her, I realized for the first time just how beautiful she was with her warm brown eyes, full lips, and soft, velvet skin. I felt an unwanted stirring of desire, and tried to remind myself that not only was she black and God only knew how much younger than me, but she was also Jim’s girl. In addition, she was pregnant with his child.

I suppose it was at that moment, kneeling on the floor with her soft, warm body pressed against mine, that I decided to let her stay. I rationalized that I was letting her stay for Jim’s sake. Oh, I knew his leaving looked bad, but I was convinced he really did care about Tanya. After realizing how pretty she was, I could see why.

She wasn’t the first girl Jim had gotten pregnant, but she was the first one he’d ever tried to help after the fact. He’d convinced the other two girls to pay for their own abortions. He'd held their hands through the procedures and then dumped them.

That he didn't plan to do the same with Tanya indicated that she was special to him. And that meant I had to keep that in mind and not allow myself to think of her as anything but his girl.

I looked at her stomach. “How...pregnant are you?”

She cringed under my stare and pulled away from me. “Six months,” she murmured, bending her head so that her hair hid her face.

“How old are you?” I asked, gently lifting her to her feet.

“I’m nineteen.”

“Nineteen? You look more like fifteen,” I said skeptically.

Her head snapped up and she glared at me. “Well, I’m not! I’ll be twenty in a couple of months.”

So maybe she wasn't jailbait after all, but she sure seemed to have a chip on her shoulder she should save for Jim. Not me, the guy trying to help her. “Then you should’ve known better than to sleep around without taking the proper precautions!” I shot back.

Her eyes widened. She gave me a stricken look, then pushed past me and hurried from the bathroom.

I ignored my impulse to follow her. I wasn't going to take any lip from any female silly enough to get pregnant by a man who expected someone else to shoulder his responsibilities. I heard her crying and shrugged. If she were in love with Jim she'd better get used to crying. He'd probably get some other woman pregnant while he was in L.A.

I took two aspirin, brushed my teeth, and washed my face. Then I walked to Jim’s room. His bedroom door was half open, but I tapped anyway before going in. Tanya was dressed in a pair of baggy sweatpants and a sweater. She was putting on the short jacket she’d worn the night before. Lifting her two largest suitcases from the floor, she turned to face me.

Her eyes were glassy but tear-free. “These are all I can carry. If you don’t mind, I’ll get the other two later.”

I stared at her. “You're leaving?”

“Yes.”

“Where are you going?”

“I'm sure you don't care!”

My instincts told me she was nothing. Still, I bit back the urge to agree with her.

She gave me an expectant look.

I stared back in silence. She'd better not hold her breath waiting for me to try to convince her to stay.

After a moment, she compressed her lips and pushed past me. A couple of moments later I heard the front door open and slam shut.

I didn't owe her anything. I'd given her a place to stay for the night and I would keep her other cases until she was ready to come for them. If she needed a ride to a doctor's appointment or money to help pay rent somewhere, I'd help her. And that's all anyone could expect me to do.

I tried to convince myself I was relieved to be free of her. And I actually believed it--for an entire minute. Then I realized I couldn’t let her go. Even if she were almost twenty, she clearly wasn't equipped to be on her own--or she wouldn't be homeless and pregnant.

Besides, I'd promised Jim I'd let her stay for a few weeks. And I always kept my promises. Having convinced myself I was going to follow her for noble reasons, I ran back to my own room and threw on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I grabbed my truck keys off the dresser and left the apartment.

I stood outside my apartment building, frowning. Where the hell was she? How far could she have gotten in such a short time? I ran to the parking lot to my truck. It wasn't until I was in the driver's seat and couldn't get my key in the ignition that I realized my hands shook and my heart pounded.

I took a slow, deep breath before I finally managed to get the key in the ignition. Why was I feeling so desperate? I'd find her, bring her back, and end this unexpected panic attack. I tried to relax but I felt on edge as I drove slowly through the early morning light, scanning both sides of the street.

I felt myself getting more nervous by the second until I finally spotted her getting off a bus and heading into the downtown bus station.

The relief I felt scared me. I took a few moments to calm down before I drove around looking for a parking spot. I finally found one half a block away. It took effort not to run back to the station.

She was one of only four people inside. She sat with her back toward me. I guessed she must have already bought a ticket and checked her suitcases because they weren’t anywhere in sight.

I hesitated in the door, trying to persuade myself to turn and walk away. The sheer relief and ...joy I felt at seeing her told me I needed to let her go. Nothing good could come of taking her home with me. Not the way I was feeling. Jim had already hurt her. The last thing she needed was some older guy lusting after her. Because that’s what was driving me— lust. And that’s something our small town wasn’t used to.

I'd almost convinced myself to leave when she turned and caught sight of me. I couldn't interpret the look in those incredible eyes of hers but I couldn't look away. I was drawn to her. Before I knew it, I'd crossed the floor and sat beside her.

“Why are you here?”

Wasn't that obvious? “Please, come back home with me,” I said awkwardly.

She shook her head. “I’m going home.”

“Jim said you had no home or money,” I reminded her.

“Jim said a lot of things that weren’t true,” she answered softly, her eyes filling with tears. She looked away from me, then without another word, she got up and hurried out of the station.

Okay. This running after her was getting old. This time I should really let her go. Instead, ignoring the stares of the few people around us, I followed her. I caught up with her before she’d gone more than a few feet. When she realized I was there, she stopped and turned to look up at me.

“Will you just go away and leave me alone?”

I would if I'd have an ounce of common sense and even a modicum amount of self-preservation.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to take any of this anger out on you.” I stopped. What the hell was I apologizing for? What had I done? “My problem isn’t with you. It’s with Jim. There’s no need for you to feel that you’re alone.”

“I am alone!” she said.

Not as long as I was alive. “You're not.”

She nodded. “I wanted so desperately to believe your brother when he said he cared about me.”

“He does.”

“Then why am I standing on this corner alone while he's off in L.A?”

“You're not alone. I'm on this corner with you.”

“Don't try to take up for him. I was stupid not to realize what he was after. He got that and now I'm back where I was before I met him--alone.” Her lips trembled. “I’ve always been alone. Always.”

I should have known I was in over my head when I found myself pleading with her. “You’re not alone now, Tanya. You don’t ever need to be alone again.”

She stared at me, tears in her eyes.

I offered her my hand. “Please. I promise you can trust me.”

She shook her head and took a step away from me. “You don’t want me there,” she said.

I shouldn't, but God help me, I did.

“You think I’m some kind of tramp, too stupid to keep herself out of trouble.”

At that moment, I didn't care what she was or her level of intelligence. I just wanted her to come back with me. “I--”

“So why are you here?”

I let my hand drop to my side. “I don’t think that. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression. It’s just that this whole thing has been a shock. I didn't even know you existed until last night.” And now I was so desperate to get her to return home with me, I was begging. No wonder Jim had fallen so hard for her. “I always thought I’d be a father before I was an uncle.” I extended my hand again. “Let me be here for you.”

For a long time she stood there searching my eyes, wanting to believe, wanting to trust.

God only knew what my gaze revealed, but I guess I'd managed to mask my interest because after several moments, she slowly lifted her hand.

I took it in mine. I felt a rush of desire and struggled against the impulse to lift it to my lips and kiss it. I settled for giving it what I hoped what a gentle and reassuring squeeze.

“Please, Tom…”

Sensing her vulnerability, I took her in my arms and whispered, “I won’t let you down. I promise.”

When she burrowed against me, it was all I could do not to shudder. It was going to be a long, long few weeks before Jim returned home. But as I walked her back to the station to get her bags and drove her home, I knew I wouldn't have had it any other way.

She was quiet and withdrawn on the ride home and I worried that she might suspect how I felt. I wanted to reassure her that I wasn't Jim and she'd be safe with me-but feared scaring her off. I remained silent.

Back home, she went into Jim's room and closed the door.

Great. So she'd be there but didn't want to be bothered. Fine. I could do that, I thought and turned away from Jim's closed bedroom door. It wasn't as if I planned to become a cradle robber.

Ryan was furious when he found out about Tanya. “You’re asking for more trouble than that brother of yours is worth!”

For once it would be nice if he told me something I hadn't already figured out for myself. “It wasn't my choice,” I reminded him.