Falling in Love With Her Husband (22 page)

this. I spent many days traveling here. The last thing I want

to do is spend another minute in this...this…”--he looked

around my house as if it were the most disgusting thing he

ever saw--“place.”

“May I remind you that this is my house?” I stated

through gritted teeth. It took all of my willpower to not throw

him out.
He is your father. Be careful what you say.

“Such as it is.” He turned to my mother. “Take

Agnes out of here. What I have to say, I only have to say to

him.”

“I wil have to pack my clothes first,” Agnes angrily

replied before she headed up the stairs.

“Please, go easy on him,” Mother begged. “He has

his reasons.”

“It would be best for you stay out of this,” he told her,

his tone gentle. “I will not change my mind.”

She gave me an “I"m sorry” look and followed Agnes

to her bedroom.

I turned to him and crossed my arms. I didn"t

appreciate being treated like a little kid who got caught doing

something wrong.

“I raised you better than this. You could have had

the entire family fortune. As the only boy, it was your right.

Your sisters will find men to care for them.” He took a deep

breath. “Look, I am willing to overlook your rebellion if you

come home with me.”

“I am not a boy anymore. I"m a man. This is my

house. I found work I love and I plan to stay here. I don"t

need your money, but it would be nice if we could get

along.”

“You continue to reject me, your own father?”

“I am following God"s leading for my life.”

“And you"re dragging poor Miss Statesman down

with you. Do you think it"s fair to make her suffer like this?”

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I clenched my jaw. Why did he have to call Ann by

her maiden name? It was bad enough that he refused to

acknowledge my work. Couldn"t he at least acknowledge

my marriage? “Her name is Mrs. Brothers. We"re married.”

“Even so, the poor thing must suffer out here. There

are no comforts.”

“It is a tough life at times, but it"s worth it. She chose

to come with me. I didn"t force her.”

“She only came because of Kent and Rebecca. Do

you honestly think she will stay once she finds out he wants

her back?”

Time stood still for me in that moment. Kent wanted

her back?

“Rumor has it he wil be here any day. Save yourself

the humiliation of losing her and return to Virginia. The only

advantage Kent has over you is his economic status. I will

hold a job for you at the bank.”

It took me a couple of seconds to process his words.

If he knew that Kent was coming, then Agnes knew too.

And if Agnes knew...

“I"m staying here, and she will stay with me,” I final y

said, though my words seemed hollow to my ears. Would

she really stay once she saw him again?

“We"l see about that,” he snapped. “You are no

longer my son. Agnes, you have no choice. You are not old

enough to defy me yet. Stop eavesdropping and get down

here right now.”

Agnes and Mother obediently walked down the

stairs. Agnes clutched the carpet bag to her chest.

As soon as Father left the house, Mother quickly

hugged me. “Keep praying, Todd. God may show him that

you did the right thing.”

“Thank you, Mother,” I softly replied, glad for her kind

words.

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Agnes gave me a quick hug but I didn"t return it. “Be

sure to tell Ann I said good-bye. I"l try to find a way to visit

again.”

“You should probably wait until you graduate from

school. Then you wil be an adult.” I forced myself to stay

calm despite my sudden anger at her. She knew that Kent

was coming, and she told Ann but she didn"t tell me.

“Of course. You warning is well-heeded.”

After she left, I stood quietly in the parlor. Many

emotions coursed through me. Disbelief, shock, love, doubt,

fear, and final y…anger. That was why Ann had been

distant from me the past couple of days. She wasn"t aloof

until Agnes showed up. So Agnes told her the night she

arrived. I knew something was wrong.

I closed my eyes, willing my rage to die down. I

hated Kent. I hated how inferior he made me feel. I could

never compete with him. I was planning to ask Ann if I could

court her when he stepped into the picture and took her from

me, and he was about to take her away again. In that

moment, my entire world caved in. Why didn"t she tell me?

What did she have to hide? The only reason she wouldn"t

tell me was because she was tempted to go back to him.

The realization had a chilling effect on my heart.

I looked at her bedroom door which was slightly

open. She heard everything. I knew she did. Why wasn"t

she coming down to explain the situation with Kent? All she

had to do was tell me, and then she could reassure me that

she wouldn"t go with him, that she would stay with me. After

all, why would she plan to consummate our marriage if she

had no intention of staying? I shook my head. I didn"t know

what to think.

I took a deep breath before I walked up the steps. I

thought about leaving the house, but I knew I had to

confront her first. I had to give her a chance to confess what

had been bothering her. If she admitted it, then we could

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work through it. My heart raced as I softly knocked on her

door.

“Come in.”

I opened the door. She was standing by the bed in

her robe. Did she look guilty?

“I suppose you heard all of that.” It wasn"t my

intention to sound cold.
Give her a chance.
I crossed my

arms, suddenly feeling vulnerable, and waited for her to say

something.

She didn"t say anything. She just pretended to be

interested in the cord on her robe. Why wasn"t she telling

me Kent was coming?

“It actually went better than I expected,” I said,

wondering if beginning the conversation would help her to

open up. “I knew my father wouldn"t approve of what I did.

My mother, however, did surprise me. I didn"t anticipate her

concern.”

“Then that part is good news.” She stood there, just

looking at me and waiting for me to continue.

I couldn"t believe it. After how close we"d gotten, she

wasn"t going to say it.

“You"re going to make you ask it, aren"t you?” I finally

stated.

“If I had any idea of what you are referring to, it

would help.”

“Agnes keeps nothing from you, but she does have

her share of secrets from me.” My anger was quickly

surfacing.

She stared at me as if she had no idea what I was

talking about.

“I can"t believe this. You are actually going to make

me ask it.”

“I have done nothing wrong, but you make me feel

like I did.”

I noted the anger in her voice.

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My jaw tensed. “Agnes told you about Kent, didn"t

she? Surely, if my parents knew, then she did too.”

Her eyes grew wide, as if she had just heard the

news. “Yes, she told me. No, I haven"t seen him nor do I

plan to.”

“Why didn"t you tell me? Do you understand how

this looks to me? It"s like you"re trying to hide your guilt.”

“But I have done nothing wrong.”

“Then why didn"t you tell me?”

“What was the point? I don"t plan to run off with

him.”

“Is there anything else you"re hiding from me?” Did I

really know her?

She gasped. “I don"t appreciate being treated like a

child. I have kept my vow to be faithful to you.”

I forced myself to calm down before I said anything I

would regret. “I"m sorry that you feel that way. I just want

the truth. I thought you were beginning to love me. But

after this news about Kent...” I shook my head. “I don"t

know what to think. To find out that you knew and didn"t tell

me makes me think I can"t trust you. I have to wonder what

other things I don"t know about you.”

“I can"t believe this. I have opened my heart to you

in a way I never did with him. You can rest assured that I

have never done anything to harm you. What I do, I do to

help. And since you must know every single detail of my

life, I help the Coley"s out at the store in town. I noticed you

were pacing downstairs one night and realized you were

having trouble with the finances, so I decided to do some

cleaning, bookkeeping and inventory in exchange for some

free food and cooking supplies. I still do it and will keep

doing it. It gives me a sense of purpose, and I have met

some wonderful people while in town. Would you like a list

of their names?”

My jaw dropped. “You don"t have to be con-

descending.”

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“Neither do you.”

Now was not the time to argue. Emotions were

running too high. Just calm down. “It"s been a long night. I

suggest we get some sleep. We can talk more in the

morning.”

She stared at me as I left and went to my bedroom. I

wanted to slam the door in frustration but didn"t. Instead, I

quietly shut it and walked to the window. It was a clear and

cool night. I should ride my horse. I needed to burn off my

anger somehow. I turned to the picture of Ann that I kept on

my dresser. I picked it up. The solid frame felt unusually

cold.

When I asked Agnes for the picture, I had no idea

what was going to happen in the next two and a half years.

I loved Ann for so long and she never noticed me. I spent

many nights trying to think of things to say that she might

find interesting. I wasn"t the one she wanted. She wanted

Kent. Did she want him now? How could she still want him

when she was willing to give all of herself to me? I should

have left her back in Virginia. I never should have brought

her with me.

I lifted the picture over my head, ready to smash it on

the floor.
Break it! Just break it and get it over with! Do you

really want her to haunt you for the rest of your life? She’s

bound to leave once Kent comes for her.
I stood still for the

longest time. I couldn"t move. I wanted to break it. I

wanted to let go of her and be free. But how free could I

possibly be when she lived here? Memories of her

penetrated every room in the house.

Despite my best effort, I gently placed the picture in

the top drawer of my dresser and started to cry. It didn"t

help that I could hear her crying in the next room. Why did

we have to be miserable tonight? I should go in there and

hold her. I wanted to make love to her. But she might not

belong to me. What if she decided to go back to Kent? I

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could hardly breathe now. She"d completely destroy me if I

enjoyed physical intimacy with her and she ran off with Kent.

I threw on a sweater before I headed down the

stairs. I picked my coat off the floor, grabbed my gloves and

hat and raced to the barn. I had everything on by the time I

got to the horses. I quickly set the saddle on Lightning,

since I knew he ran the fastest, and hopped up on him. The

other two horses barely moved as I urged the horse forward.

They were probably glad I didn"t pick either of them. They

knew when I was angry.

I rode him through every acre of land I owned. Even

out in the fields I loved so much, I couldn"t escape her. I

recalled the day when she went for a walk out here and fell

asleep. I was scared that something bad happened to her,

and now I was scared she was going to walk out of my life.

A wave of intense sorrow mingled with a wave of rage. I

loved her and hated her at the same time. I remember

asking her why she wasn"t mad at Kent when he announced

his engagement to Rebecca. I couldn"t understand why she

could still love him even when he was part of the reason for

her heartache. Now I knew. She was mad at him while she

loved him. It seemed like a cruel paradox. But the hardest

lesson I had to face was the knowledge I brought all of this

on myself when I agreed to take her with me. I knew it was