Falling in Love With Her Husband (23 page)

wrong but I wanted her so badly I didn"t care. In the end, I

had to admit I was to blame for the way things turned out.

And I"d pay for that decision for the rest of my life.

I wished I could go back and do it all over again.

This time, I wouldn"t even tell her I was going to leave

Virginia. I would simply wait until the day after graduation

and slip out of sight. She wouldn"t have missed me. I

would"ve missed her, but at least she never would have

gotten as close as she did. What was I going to do?

I knew the answer. I"d have to let her go if she

wanted to go.

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I slowed the horse to a trot and headed back to the

barn. I noticed two coyotes sniffing around in the fields. I

sighed as I rode the horse into the barn and shut the door. I

took the rifle from the shelf above the stack of piled firewood

in case the coyotes had followed me, but they didn"t.

I entered the kitchen and set the gun next to the

back door. I hung my coat and set the gloves and hat near

it. I slowly took off my shoes and sighed as I walked up the

stairs.

I picked up some firewood from the guest bedroom

and started the fire in the box stove in my room. I could

hear Ann crying. Was it possible that she did love me? I

recalled how affectionate she had been before Agnes

arrived. She seemed to genuinely care for me. She shared

everything with Agnes, and Agnes told me she loved me. I

shook my head. I didn"t know what to do or what to think.

Should I go to her? Ask her what she wanted to do

about Kent? She said she didn"t plan to go with him when

he came, but would she be able to resist him? I couldn"t

resist her.

My steps were silent as I made my way to her

bedroom. My hands pressed firmly on the cool, closed door.

Did she want me to come back? I hesitated to knock on it.

What if she was crying because she wanted to leave me

and felt obligated to stay? That would be worse than if she

left with him. I didn"t want to take second place in her life

anymore. I wanted to be her first choice. I pressed my

forehead against the door in defeat. The only way I would

know what she wanted was after she saw Kent. I would

have to wait and see what happened.

Please choose me, Ann. I need you.

My shoulders slumped in defeat, I slowly walked to

my room, which seemed as empty and miserable as ever. I

quietly sat on my bed with my head in my hands and

listened to her as she cried through the night.

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Ann’s Point of View

The next morning arrived, and I was exhausted. I

didn"t want to get out of bed, but I knew if I didn"t, then I

wouldn"t be able to go to town. I desperately wanted to go

to the Coley"s store and help them today, even though I

didn"t usually come in on Wednesdays. I needed to take my

mind off the previous night"s events. I put on my well-worn

but comfortable light blue dress and brushed my hair back

into a braid. I glanced at my bed and sighed. Nothing went

as planned last night. Agnes was gone and Todd suddenly

felt like a stranger to me. I left my bedroom and went to the

kitchen.

To my surprise, Todd was drinking a cup of coffee at

the table. He looked worse than I did.

“Would you like something to eat?” I asked.

I braced myself for whatever he might say, but

nothing prepared me for the sad look in his eyes.

“I owe you an apology,” he softly stated.

I stared at him, unsure of how to respond.

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He stood up and set his cup in the sink. “I had no

right to be harsh with you. I married you knowing the

situation between you and Kent. I hoped that you would

learn to love me.” He shook his head. “I brought this on

myself.”

“Todd, I do love you.”

He came over to me and gently placed his hands on

my arms. The simple action shocked me. I dared to look at

him. He really loved me. He didn"t need to say it. I could

tell by the way he looked at me.

“You must understand why I didn"t consummate our

marriage last night,” he began. “You may not belong to me.

I don"t know what you"l want when Kent comes to see you.

Maybe you"l discover that the love you have for me is not

enough. I only want you to stay with me if that is what you

want. Please, don"t stay with me because you feel obligated

to. Since we haven"t been intimate, we can annul our

marriage.”

“I don"t want that.” I knew he was trying to do what

was best for me, but his words were breaking my heart. “I

want to be here.”

“Until you see Kent, how can you or I know for sure?

After all, you did love him when you married me.”

I couldn"t look at him anymore. I wanted to kiss him

and assure him that I would stay with him, but would he

believe me?

“I have to go into town today to order some seeds for

next Spring. Would you like to come with me? You could

help out the Coley"s or do whatever it is women do in town.”

“So you"re not mad about my working there?”

“Of course not. I don"t know why you wanted to keep

it a secret.”

“I was afraid you would be upset. I didn"t want you to

give up on farming because we were having financial

problems.”

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He gave me a light kiss. “You have no idea how

wonderful you are.” He cleared his throat and retrieved his

hat and coat. “You should eat. I won"t leave until I feed the

horses.”

“Yes, I suppose I should. Are you going to eat

anything?”

“I ate early this morning. I wil be back soon. I want

to make sure the wagon is ready.”

I nodded as he went out the back door. I decided on

scrambled eggs because it was quick and easy. I felt much

better now that we had worked things out, at least as much

as we could at this point.

When he had the horses hooked up to the wagon, I

came out to join him. I carried the blankets.

“You should let me bring those out,” he said. He ran

over and took them from me.

“I thought I would help this time.”

“Don"t do too much to help. I like taking care of you.”

I nodded and let him help me get into the wagon. I

wrapped two blankets around my shoulders. There was a

light blanket of snow on the ground, so our trip into town

would still be smooth.

“I usually go to town with Barbara,” I told him. “It"s

nice to be going with you for a change.”

He clicked the reins so the horses moved forward.

“Do you think Agnes will be in trouble when she gets

home?” I asked.

“I"m sure she wil be fine. Besides, it"s not her that

my father"s real y mad at.”

We rode in silence the rest of the way. The clouds

were gathering. I wondered if we were due for more snow.

Our path was straight and level, so the ride was easy. I

looked forward to Christmas when my parents could see the

landscape. It was so different from Virginia.

By the time we reached town, I was sitting so close

to Todd that our shoulders touched. I had moved by him for

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additional comfort but found the closeness exciting as well.

I hoped we would soon get a chance to continue what we

began the night before but worried how Kent"s impending

arrival would affect the situation. I was beginning to dread

his arrival. Up to that point, I hadn"t considered the reality of

it. For the first time, I wished that he was still with Rebecca.

Then Todd and I would be enjoying each other as a married

couple should be.

I nudged Todd gently in the side as he stopped in

front of the mercantile. “There"s Barbara at her mother"s. I

didn"t realize she was coming in today.”

He urged the horses to trot over to Barbara"s

carryall.

“How are you this morning?” Barbara greeted when

she saw us.

“Good.” I smiled, glad to see her.

“I need to get going but I"l come by the store to pick

you up around noon,” Todd told me. After he helped me

down from the wagon, he said, “I hope you two have a

pleasant visit.” He tipped his hat to Barbara. “It"s good to

see you.”

Once he left, she took my hand in hers. “Something

is wrong.”

“Is your mother il ?” I asked, suddenly alarmed by

her concern.

“No. She is fine. She"s playing with the children. I

am on my way to the mercantile to pick up some items for

her. You are troubled. I can see it.”

“You can?”

“There is something about your expression that

doesn"t seem right.”

“You"re right. Is there a place we can talk in

private?” I didn"t wish to stand out in the cold.

She nodded and led me into her mother"s house in

the kitchen. “My mother"s entertaining the children in the

parlor. What is it, Ann?”

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I didn"t know where to begin. I did not wish to upset

Todd by revealing too much of our personal information so I

tried to stick to the main points. “When Todd and I left

Virginia, I was being courted by another man. His name

was Kent Ashton. He decided he should court another lady

instead of me, so when Todd told me he was heading out

west, I insisted that he marry me and take me with him. I

knew Todd loved me so I figured he wouldn"t deny my

request, and I was right. It was probably selfish of me. But

we married and came out here. We are husband and wife in

name only, though I thought that was going to change last

night. Last night Todd"s parents came by and demanded

that Agnes go back to Virginia. Before they left, his father

informed him that Kent was coming here for me.”

She took a moment to absorb everything I had told

her. Final y, she asked, “What wil you do?”

“I love Todd. I won"t leave him.”

She squeezed my hand. “Then stay firm when you

see Kent. Todd does love you. I can see it when he looks

at you.”

I nodded. “He"s a good husband.”

“Yes, he is. Wil you come with me to the

mercantile?”

“I was planning to go there,” I replied.

As we walked to the store, our talk ranged from her

future child to our plans for Christmas. “My mother and

cousins and their families will be coming out to my house

this year. Will you and Todd join us as well? I figured since

you and Todd are far from Virginia, it would be nice to be

around your friends.”

“Oh, my parents are coming.”

“They are invited too. Of course, if you"d rather have

your own get together, that is fine. I just wanted to make

sure you know you are welcome to our place.”

“I"l ask Todd and see what he thinks.”

She nodded.

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We entered the mercantile. I was relieved to be

back in a warm place. The walk from Barbara"s mother"s

house seemed long in the cold weather.

“Good morning, Ann and Barbara,” Mrs. Coley

greeted warmly. “What brings you into town today?”

“I came for a few food items for my mother,” Barbara

replied. “She sprained her ankle and the doctor ordered her

to stay off of it for the next month.”

I removed my bonnet. “I hope you will let me help

you today. I came in with Todd and he won"t be leaving for

three hours.”

She smiled. “I can always use your help.”

I went to the back of the store to work on the

bookkeeping while Mrs. Coley helped Barbara gather some

food. The smells and sounds of the store took my mind off

of Kent and Todd. I enjoyed being here. It had become a

second home to me. After some time, Mrs. Coley stuck her

head in the doorway of the backroom.

I glanced up from the desk, startled. “Did Barbara

leave?”

“She"s been gone for fifteen minutes. I have taken

care of two other customers since then.”

“But I didn"t hear the bel on the door.”

“That"s because the bel fell and broke last night. Mr.