Falling in Love With Her Husband (36 page)

couldn"t breathe as images of Kent breaking into my house

flashed through my mind. I didn"t want to look out the

window but I forced myself to go to the parlor and check the

front yard. I cried with relief when I saw that Patches was

playing with the two cats. Kent was nowhere in sight.

I stumbled back to the kitchen. My tears fell down

my cheeks as the reality of my fear consumed me. I had

been paralyzed when I thought he was coming. I knew I

was safe but I wanted to feel safe too. I hated Kent! I knew

he was terrified of Todd now that Todd had pulled a gun on

him. I knew he wouldn"t come back because Todd would kill

him if he ever saw him again. But I didn"t
feel
safe!

Struggling to complete the lunch, I set the tomato

onto its side. My hands shook.
Stop it. You’re safe. He’s

all the way in Europe. He can’t harm you anymore.
As

much as I repeated these things, my shaking and crying

wouldn"t stop.

I angrily sliced the tomato until I realized I was

cutting the board too. I threw the knife in the sink, picked up

the board and banged it against the table, pretending I was

hitting Kent with it. If I pounded the table enough, I could

erase Kent completely from my mind.
I hate you, Kent! I

wish I never met you!
I
won’t live my life in fear anymore.

The board finally gave and split in half. The table

had suffered damage as well but was still intact. I curled up

in the corner of the room and sobbed hysterically into my

hands. I couldn"t keep living this way. I had to get past this

or else I would be a prisoner forever.
Maybe I’l never feel

completely safe again. Maybe the fear will always linger in

the back of my mind, but I should be able to do something to

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ease that fear enough so I can be comfortable when I’m

alone.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of the

closet by the door. The kitchen door was open. I had a

good view of the parlor. I hated for any door to be closed

since I wanted to know what or who was in the next room at

all times. The closet door was open as well, and I saw the

rifle sitting under the coats.
I may not be able to control the

circumstances around me, but I can control how I respond to

those circumstances.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and

stood up. My anger returned with newfound energy.
I can

control some things in my life, and I can make every effort to

protect myself.

I recalled the stack of empty glass bottles under the

kitchen sink and grabbed an armful of them.
You don’t win,

Kent! I’m taking my life back!
I stormed out of the house

and to the barn. I didn"t see Todd, so I went to the shelf in

the corner of the barn and set the bottles on it. After the

bottles were in a row, I went to the woodpile and picked up

the rifle from behind it. I made sure it had bullets in it before

I turned my attention back to the bottles.
I will defend

myself. I will kill Kent if he ever comes near me again. I

have every right to protect myself.
I shot at each bottle until

I succeeded in blowing them all off the shelf. When I was

done, a sense of relief flooded over me. I knew this was the

answer. I was going to overcome my fear and anger by

equipping myself with the skills necessary to protect myself.

I turned to put the gun back when I saw Todd who

silently watched me. He was washing Thunder by the large

door of the barn. No wonder I didn"t see him when I came

in. The storage shed had blocked my view of him. I walked

over to him.

“I"m tired of being scared all the time,” I told him.

He nodded. “I"m tired of being angry.”

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By the look in his eyes, I knew that we had just

agreed to put the past behind us and move on. Relieved, I

returned to the kitchen to finish making the sandwiches.

***

Two days later in the late morning, John came over

to announce that Barbara went into labor. I told Todd that I

was going to help out, and after I got into the buggy, I rode

over to the Russell house where a flurry of activity greeted

me.

“She went into labor yesterday afternoon,” her

mother told me as soon as I walked through the front door.

John took the children out to the barn so we could

help the doctor without them running around us. I followed

her mother to the bedroom where Barbara was trying to

breathe. She gripped the newspapers under her, her face

contorted in pain.

“The baby will be here soon,” the doctor said.

“Does labor always take long?” I asked.

“Sometimes it can. Barbara has had long labors in

the past, but she progresses smoothly along and has little

trouble with the actual delivery.”

So I could expect to be in labor for a long time as

well.

“The beginning of labor involves minor discomfort,”

her mother continued as the doctor turned back to Barbara.

“It"s not like she spent the whole night in pain. Now that

she"s ready to give birth, things are intense.”

I was glad to be here so I knew what to expect when

my time came. I took a deep breath. It was difficult to watch

Barbara in pain but I was determined to help. “Is there

anything I can do?”

“It would be a good time to get some hot water, clean

towels and more newspapers,” the doctor replied.

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I nodded and boiled some water on the stove while

her mother gathered the towels and newspapers. By the

time we finished getting everything ready, the doctor

announced that it was time for Barbara to start pushing. Her

mother held onto her hand while I sat and waited with a

towel in my hands.

I was aware of the movement in my womb. Soon it

would be my turn. I had to admit that the process of giving

birth was gross and I felt queasy as I watched the baby"s

head come out, followed by the rest of the body.
There’s no

way I’m going to let Todd watch me give birth.
I could

understand why the husband and children were sent

outside. I didn"t relish the idea of going through it myself.

“It"s a girl!” the doctor announced.

Little Melanie cried and we all laughed. The doctor

handed her to me and I gently held her while I did my best to

clean her up with water. She was tiny but amazingly strong

and loud as she struggled to squirm away from me. I

handed Melanie to Barbara while the doctor took care of the

afterbirth. Her mother leaned over and smiled at her new

granddaughter.

I smiled. “She"s a cute little girl. I bet Molly wil be

delighted to have a sister. And I can"t wait to tell Mrs.

Carson that you had a girl.”

Barbara laughed. “Yes, she will be pleased.”

“It was scary to watch,” I confessed. “But when I

saw Melanie, I realized you were right. It is worth it.”

“I"m glad you were here.”

“I wouldn"t have missed it for anything.”

“Everything looks good,” the doctor said. He

checked Barbara"s temperature and heart rate. Then he

checked Melanie to see how she was doing. “I"m giving

both of you a clean bill of health. You"ve been through this

before, so you know what do but remember to get plenty of

rest.”

Melanie continued crying.

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He chuckled. “Well, get as much rest as you can. I"l

tell the father the good news and be on my way.”

Her mother and I finished gathering the towels and

blankets and took them to the laundry. John came in shortly

after the doctor left and Calvin, Bruce and Molly got to meet

their baby sister. After her mother and I were done washing

the laundry, I hung the things up to dry and asked if there

was anything else I could do. I was anxious to go home and

tell Todd that Barbara and John had a girl. They said that

there was nothing more they needed, so I went home to tell

Todd the good news.

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Falling In Love With Her Husband

Todd’s Point of View

Alex wrote me a letter to tell me that he and Agnes

would be visiting for a couple of days in July. I thought that

Ann pretended to be upset that they married since she had

vowed to never let him become her brother-in-law, but

Alex"s hesitation to stay in our guest bedroom gave me an

idea to have a good time with my childhood friend.

Ann offered to come with me into town to pick Alex

and Agnes up from the train station, but I asked her if she

would practice her shooting in the barn by the time we

returned. She asked me why I wanted her to do this, but I

told her it would become obvious soon enough. She

shrugged and agreed to my strange request. It felt good to

leave her alone and know she was comfortable with it.

Alex and Agnes looked very happy together, and I

couldn"t believe how much he had changed. He was more

serious, though he did tell some good jokes. He had

matured in college. I noticed how Agnes" face glowed

whenever he looked at her. I was glad he was treating my

sister well.

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Ann kept her word and was in the barn practicing her

shot with the rifle by the time we entered the barn. I grinned

as soon as I saw her. She was starting to show in her

pregnancy, so she looked especially feminine even though

she was holding a gun in her hands.

She stopped shooting and came over to us. “Hello,

Agnes and Alex.”

Alex ducked when she swung the gun his way.

I bit my lower lip so I wouldn"t laugh. She was so

used to the gun that she didn"t notice she was waving it

around.

“When are you due to give birth?” Agnes asked,

delighted to see her.

“Either late November or early December deciding

on when the baby"s ready to come out.” She hugged Agnes.

“You"l be an aunt soon enough.”

“Good. I can"t wait to spoil my niece or nephew.”

This was beginning to get boring. I cleared my throat

and nodded at Alex.

“Oh. Hello, Alex. Did you enjoy your trip?” Ann

asked. She waved the gun in his direction.

“Watch where you"re pointing that thing!” he

squeaked as he hid behind me.

I burst out laughing. It was fun to watch him run from

her like that.

Her eyes grew wide. “I forgot I had this in my

hands.” She quickly went to put it away.

“How could she forget something like that?” he

whispered.

I noted the sweat on his brow.

I told her he was scared of her. Ever since she

dumped sand on us, he had been on his guard around her.

But she wasn"t aware of his reaction to her, which made it

even more humorous.

She walked back over to us. “Did you have a good

trip?”

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“It was wonderful,” Agnes nodded, also unaware of

Alex"s hesitation around Ann. “It"s much more fun to travel

when you"re with someone you love.” She glanced at Alex

and smiled.

“Alex, I"m looking forward to getting to know you as

Todd"s friend instead of the annoying boy who pulled pranks

on everyone,” Ann said. “I better get started on dinner. You

two must be famished.”

Agnes hastened to her. “Can I help? There"s so

much I want to tell you.”

“Sure.”

I watched Alex gulp nervously as Ann and Agnes

went to the house. Of course, I could only hear Agnes

talking. My sister rarely stopped to take a breath.

“Why don"t we eat in town?” he asked.

I shook my head. “What"s wrong with you? Ann"s

going out of her way to be nice to you. She never would

have done that in Virginia.”

He followed me as I brought the horses and wagon

into the barn.

“She"s only being nice to make me feel safe until she

can spring her revenge on me,” he insisted.

“You"re paranoid.”