Falling Into Grace (10 page)

“I’m not going.” I get up and walk out of the room. Richard is still outside the door. “The answer is no,” I say as I quickly walk away. I need to get out of here. I take the stairs and think about Aiden when I open the door. I push him out of my head and focus on getting away.

CHAPTER NINE

I
t’s nice outside. The sun warms my skin. I never realized how cold the hospital is. I start to thaw out as I sit on the bench in front of the hospital. I feel someone behind me. When I see it’s Aiden, I relax. He is leaning on the back of the bench with his hands on either side of my shoulders, his head directly above mine. I steal a glimpse of him. His lips glisten in the sun.

“So I hear you won’t be accompanying my mother back home tomorrow.” His voice is unreadable as he takes a deep breath.

“My mother is quite disappointed, as well as myself.” I can only shrug my shoulders and look down at my hands.

“I wish I could help, but I just don’t think I can.” I suddenly feel the need to cry. I try to hold back.
Please don’t cry, please don’t cry
, I tell myself. I feel his hands slide onto my shoulders, and his fingers begin to trace my collarbone. My body instantly starts to pulse.

“I wish you would reconsider. Shane told me about the proposal, I think you should think this over.” he whispers in my ear, then kisses below it gently. He gives my shoulders a squeeze before he walks away. I can’t help but watch him walk away. He is beautiful. I would even go as far as saying, that he’s breathtaking. I can see his muscles flex through his white shirt as he walks. He is wearing flip-flops and khaki-colored shorts that show off his thick calves. Why do I have such a weakness for this man? I can easily see myself falling for him. He is kind, loving and easy going. Unlike his brother,
he isn’t an ass. I sit for a few more minutes before I finally decide to go back inside. As the doors open, I walk in to hear my name being paged to Mrs. Grace’s room. Oh God, not her too. I want to walk right out and go home, because I bet she will have a good guilt-trip to lay on me too.

I press the Up button and wait. I am lost in thought until I feel a nudge at my side. I look over, and it’s Grant. Great. The doors open, and he gives me the “after you” gesture with his hands. I go in and press the seven. It’s just us in the elevator. What is it with him and elevators? The door closes, and suddenly his body is wrapped around mine. I can feel his lips on my ear; they form a trail down my neck and over my chest. It all happens so fast. He pushes me against the wall, taking my hands in his. He pulls them over my head and kisses me. He tastes like oranges, and my tongue marvels in his taste. He is so aggressive as he bites and sucks on my bottom lip. When I feel the soft tip of his tongue glide against mine, I give in. His hands drop mine, and they wander down my arms, over my chest, and linger at my waist. My hands fall onto his shoulders. As the elevator comes to a stop, I pull away from him. My heart is racing, and I can feel how hot I am. My body is ready for him, but my mind stops it. I walk out and he grabs my hand.

“Hannah, please.” I pull away and walk as fast as I can. What the hell am I doing? Three days ago I lived a fucked-up life, but I was used to it, now I live in a manipulated world, where I feel even less in control. I barge into the nurses’ lounge and sit at the table. The room is empty, and I’m thankful for it. I bang my head on the table a few times, trying to knock some sense into myself. I hear my name being paged again. Shit…I sit up and remember where I was going. I get up and head straight to Tori’s room. I can’t take much more of this.

When I walk into her room, Grant is on the phone, looking out the window, and Aiden is on his computer, sitting in the cream, over-sized chair. He doesn’t look like he’s concentrating much. Our eyes meet, and I look away, meeting up with Tori’s eyes. She has to know something is up.

“Hannah, I’m ready for my walk.” She’s smiling at me. I walk over, grab her robe, and ease her out of bed. Aiden gets up to offer a hand.

“No, Aiden, let Hannah.” His eyebrows furrow, showing his disappointment.

“Up we go,” I say, and she slowly creeps up. I can see the pain in her eyes. For the first time, I’m not sure if it’s from her deep incision on her chest, or from the scars that had already laid on her heart before it was repaired. I gently lay the robe over her shoulders as Grant hangs up the phone. He walks over to take her other arm, but she protests.

“I think I can handle one arm this time.” She smiles sweetly at him, and he nods with a fake smile, then looks at me. I give him a half smile as we walk out of the room. We set a slow pace as we head down the corridor.

“Hannah, Director Winterfield was here before.” She pauses but doesn’t look at me.

“I’m saddened that you aren’t able to accompany me on my journey back to the Cape.” She rubs her hand over my arm. I know what she is doing. It’s guilt-trip time. “I understand, dear, that it will be hard for you to leave your children. I know this because I never wanted to leave mine. Sometimes I wish I had taken more time for myself.” There it is. She is trying to get me to not make the same mistakes she did.

“Tori, it’s still too soon. I just don’t think the kids will be OK.” It’s the truth. I haven’t left the kids for more than a few hours in months. It took me five months just to go back to work.

“Hannah.” Her voice is motherly and loving. “You should reconsider. I would feel much safer on the plane and back at the house if you were there. Maybe you shouldn’t stay the whole week. Maybe just till Sunday?” A week, a whole week; I never heard this. Richard never said anything about staying that long. I can’t do a week. I can do a long weekend, but not a week. I shake my head. When was he going to tell me about the whole week? Then I realize what my other thought was. I could handle the weekend. I laugh because I just negotiated with myself. I look over at her, and she looks hopeful.

“OK, I will go, but I have to be home by dinnertime Sunday night.” She smiles at me, enjoying her victory quietly. I can’t believe I just agreed to this. We only do one lap and head back into the room. I get her back into bed. She takes my hand and squeezes it.

“I have to go speak with Director Winterfield. If you need anything, please have me paged.”

“Thank you, Hannah.” I smile at her and turn to leave. Aiden stands up and makes eye contact with me. I nod and walk out of the room. Oh God, what was I thinking? I can’t do this. I can’t be with the two of them all weekend.

I head up to Richard’s office. Annabelle smiles as I walk in the door.

“Is he busy?”

“No, go right in. I think he has been expecting you.” I take a deep breath and walk in his office; he is on the phone, but he waves me in to sit down.

“Mary, I’ll see you in a little bit; Hannah just walked in.” He pauses and smiles.

“OK, sweetheart, I will. Love you too.” I remember those conversations with Chase. I miss them so much. My heart lunges into my throat, and I have to swallow hard to push it back down. I watch him hang up, and his eyes meet mine.

“I spoke to Mrs. Grace, and we were able to come to an agreement. I will fly with her tomorrow, and come home Sunday.” He leans back and looks relieved. He takes off his glasses and rubs between his eyes.

“Well, Han, I don’t know what to say.” He looks like a million pounds have been lifted off his shoulders, or maybe twenty million pounds.

“Well, a thank you would be nice, or maybe a wing named after me?” I smile, and he walks around his desk to hug me.

“I hope you know I’m getting paid for every minute I’m there.” I smirk at him.

“Double time, I promise,” he replies, laughing.

“You just secured the hospital forty million dollars in funding.” The number floats through my head. I can’t grasp that amount of money. “I will pack everything for the kids, and I have to pack myself. I have to go finish up if I’m going to leave here by five.” Richard takes my hands.

“Hannah, you saved my ass.” I give him a smile and walk out.

I go back to my office to finish up the pile of charts on my desk. I see Michele walk by. “Michele,” I yell so she can hear me. She walks into my office and sits down; she still looks upset.

“I decided to go.” I stare at her. She looks up, smiling. “I leave tomorrow, and I will be back Sunday.” She’s still smiling.

“Hannah, I have to admit I’m jealous.” I shake my head at her.

“Why would you be jealous? It’s not like I’m going on vacation to Bora Bora.” I’ve always wanted to go to Bora Bora. Maybe I’ll take the kids with me, or Aiden. Oh shit, why does he keep popping up in my thoughts?

“Hello! Earth to Hannah,” I finally hear Michele say. What has come over me? I switched my mind and all thoughts off a long time ago, but all of a sudden the last few days, I have been flooded with thoughts.

“Sorry, it’s been a long day. I have a lot going on up there,” I say, pointing to my head.

“I’ll take care of all your paperwork and don’t worry about coming in next week I’ll get someone to cover your hours. Go and take care of Mrs. Grace. I expect a phone call when you come back about how it all was.” She is grinning at me. She grabs the charts off my desk. “I want a postcard,” she mumbles over her shoulder as she walks out.

It’s ten to five as I lean back in my chair. I have to iron out all the plans for tomorrow.

I take the stairs up to Mrs. Grace’s floor. I’m anxious and need to burn some energy to settle this feeling. Once I get up to the seventh floor, I pause and take a deep breath, partly to catch my breath and partly to pull it together. I head to the nurses’ station, where I grab her chart and start to write notes.

“Sara, I’ll be back tomorrow at eleven. Can you make sure Dr. Mitchell has signed off on Mrs. Grace’s chart by then?”

“Yes, of course, Hannah.” She smirks at me while she continues typing. I head back to Mrs. Grace’s room. Grant and Shane are laughing at something John has just said, but they all look up as I enter the room.

“I was just wondering what is the game plan for tomorrow?” They all look excited. Grant stands up and pulls out his Blackberry.

“I have the plane on standby from eleven on. I was hoping to be at the airport by noon. It’s a short flight, so we should be back at the Cape by one fifteen.” He looks at me with the look he gave me earlier.
Please don’t look at me like that
, I think. I don’t think I could push him away from me again.

“I will be back here at eleven tomorrow. I already spoke with Dr. Mitchell and the staff, and they have assured me she will be ready to be discharged by then.” I look over at Mrs. Grace, who looks delighted at the news.

“Good night.” I make eye contact with all of them and realize that Aiden isn’t in the room. Grant walks over to me.

“Good night, Hannah,” Grant whispers in my ear as he touches my arm. His breath on my ear makes me warm in all the right places. I walk out of the room before anyone sees my reaction to Grant’s touch.

I become lost in thought again as I head out of the hospital. I stop when I get outside. The sun feels good again, slowly melting my skin. I feel hands on my lower back, pushing me forward into a walk.

“So I hear you’re coming with us tomorrow.” With us? Why did I say yes? I didn’t think Aiden was coming too, but then again, why wouldn’t he?

“I wasn’t aware you would be joining us,” I say, still enjoying his hands on me. He laughs.

“Well, we are going home.” Home? Oh, that’s right, Mrs. Grace lives in Massachusetts. They must all live up there.
I’m so stupid
, I think for the millionth time today. While I navigate my way through the parking lot, neither one of us speaks. I click the Unlock button and
turn to him once I’ve reached my bumper. He looks around and takes my hand, leading me to the side of my truck. His body moves against me, pinning me against my truck. He bends his head to my neck, and I lean to the side, giving him permission. His lips are softly grazing my neck, then across my throat. He kisses my jawline, then he is on my mouth.

I can’t help myself. I can’t resist any longer. I place my hands on his face. Our eyes meet. Our tongues thrash around each other like waves crashing. I bite his lower lip and hear a faint groan. His hands are all over me, like he can’t touch me fast enough. His hands slide my skirt up, and he picks me up. I wrap myself around him. My body pulses. I want to take his clothes off so I can feel his warm skin against mine. My phone rings, and he stops and looks into my eyes. I grab his face and kiss him hard. His hands wander, and I let out a small whimper. He smiles.

“You like that?” He grins and I nod, wanting him to do so much more. He starts kissing me again, and it only intensifies. I can’t get enough of him. My phone rings again. What the hell? Just leave a message. He stops, and gently puts me down, pulling my skirt back down. He places his thumb on my chin and kisses me, then playfully nips my bottom lip.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He leans against me once more, pushing his body into me. He rubs my sides and kisses my forehead. My phone rings again, as he walks away.

“What?” I yell into the phone, trying to catch my breath. I’m angry. What if my phone never rang? What would he have done?

“Hannah, have you left yet?” I realize it’s Michele, and I blush. If she only knew what I was just doing.

“I’m in the car,” I say as I get in.

“OK. I just wanted to let you know that Grant gave me the itinerary for tomorrow. He scheduled a car to pick you up at home. It will be at your house at ten thirty.” I remember the flower delivery.

“Did you give him my info?” I snap back. I didn’t mean it to come out that mean.

“No, he already had everything, probably from Richard.” She pauses. Of course he does!

“Thanks, Michele. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I hang up before she responds. What have I gotten myself into this time? I lean against the steering wheel and bang my head once again.
You need to stop
, I tell myself. No more, no more anything with Aiden or Grant. The next time they get close, simply walk away. Yes, I can do that. I will just walk away. I make myself believe this.
I’m so fucked up
, I think as I pull out of the parking lot, but I can only smile and touch my swollen lips as I think about how Aiden’s were just on them.