Falling Together (All That Remains #2) (19 page)

I’m
terrified of the reaction they may have, especially Abby. She’ll always be my
first concern, and I’m afraid my suggestion will reinforce her belief that she
isn’t enough for me, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. She loves him
too, and he loves her. Something has to change.

“Sweetheart…how
would you feel about bringing Joseph into our relationship?” I ask softly. They
both freeze in astonishment, and I have to suppress an urge to laugh at their
shocked faces.

“What
do you mean?” Abby whispers.

“I
want the three of us to be together… in every way.” I take her hand in mine as
my other slips into Joseph’s. “I realize it’s a radical idea, but we no longer
have to conform to societal norms. I know it’s different, but so is our
situation. Abby, you’re my wife, and I love you more than anything in this
world. You’re everything to me and you’ll always come first.” I grasp her face
in my hands and stare intently into those lovely brown eyes. “You are mine. Do
you understand? Mine. My wife. My woman. Forever. That will never change.”

Nodding,
she bites her lip, tears spilling down her cheeks. Pulling her slight body into
my arms, I continue. “But you’re right. There’s a connection between the three
of us that can’t be ignored any longer. I’m ready to give it a chance if you
are.” Joseph remains dumbstruck, staring at us without a word. “What do you
think?” I ask him softly.

“You
don’t have to do this. This is your family we’re talking about,” he murmurs.

“Abby’s
right. You’re our family, too.”

Abby
turns to me, and brushes my overlong hair off my forehead with a soft sweep of
her fingers. “Air, you and Joseph deserve a chance to explore a relationship
without me caught in the center.”

I
listen to them each try to sacrifice their own happiness for the good of the
other with a satisfied smile on my face. This is why I’m confident this
relationship will work. Joseph responds to Abby before I have a chance.

“Abigail,”
he breathes. Hearing her full name spill from his lips with such reverence and
affection brings tears to my eyes and reinforces my decision. He kneels before
her and clasps her hand in both of his. “You aren’t caught in the center.
You
are our center
. You’re our star, our sun. This all revolves around you. Our
mutual love for you and for one another. Can’t you see that? Without you, it
all falls apart.”

Abby’s
sweet face crumples as Joseph’s words take hold. “I don’t deserve you guys.”
She sniffs.

“You
deserve to be loved just like we do,” he whispers, his emerald eyes settling on
mine. He nods his acceptance almost imperceptibly.

“Let’s
take a little time to think about it,” I suggest. “I realize that I dropped it
on both of you suddenly, but when I thought I may never see either of you again,
I realized what was most important to me. Think about it tonight, and we can
discuss it tomorrow when we’re all…less emotional. If we decide this is what we
all want, then we’ll have a lot to talk about, details to work out.”

Abby
gives a pensive nod. I turn to Joseph. “If you want to try to salvage your
relationship with Troy, I’ll understand.”

Shoulders
drooping, he shakes his head. “It’s over. I was coming to tell you. This was
waiting for me when I got home.” His hands tremble when he hands me a neatly
written letter.

Joseph,

Please
forgive me for leaving this way. I’m taking the cowardly way out, I know. But
if I’d tried to say goodbye properly, you would’ve tried to convince me not to
go. If I had to look in those pleading green eyes, my resolve would crumble
into pieces and I’d stay. And I just can’t stay, Joseph.

You’ve
been so patient with me, and treated me with such kindness, but you don’t love
me. I don’t blame you, and I don’t want you to blame yourself. You had feelings
for Airen way before we met, and you can’t always control who crawls into your
heart. You crawled into mine, Angel, and curled up there. I’ll carry you with
me forever.

I’m
not sure where I’m headed. Please, don’t worry about me or try to track me
down. I need this time on my own. Time to get over you. I’m afraid I’m not the
only one who will suffer a broken heart in this situation. Please believe that
I’m not saying this out of jealousy or resentment, but love. I love you, and I
don’t want you to get hurt.

I
know you love Airen, but even if he was willing, could you really be happy sneaking
around with him? He’s devoted to Abby and his family. He’ll never leave her.
Please, don’t let him prevent you from finding someone to love. Someone who
will recognize how special you are, and return your love with the same
ferocity. I want that for you. I want you to be happy.

Thank
you for seeing me through the aftermath of the worst experience of my life. You
helped me heal and made me feel safe. I would never have survived it without
you. I’ll never forget you or the things that you and the others have done for
me. You’re the most wonderful man I’ve ever known, and I hope you find
happiness with someone who will treat you with the love and kindness you
deserve.

Please,
take care of yourself and Walker. Tell everyone goodbye and let them know how
grateful I am for the way they accepted me as family. I love you, Angel.

“I’m
so sorry, Joseph,” I murmur, handing the letter back to him.

“I’m
sorry as hell that I hurt him, and I’m devastated that he just…left. I hate
knowing he’s out there all alone, but I’m not sorry it’s over. I care for him,
I really do, and I tried to make it work.” Tears slip down his cheeks, and I
put my arm around him. “He’s really gone,” he whispers, and a sob escapes,
making him shudder.

“I
know, Joey.” His face is hot against my shirt as he sinks into my embrace. The
truth is, I barely considered Troy when I thought about our future. All I could
see was Abby and Joseph. I can’t explain it. It’s as if from the moment we met
a thread was wound around us, weaving us together, entwining our hearts and
forsaking all others. Whoever said the heart wants what the heart wants must
have been a son of a bitch just like me.

Abby

“I
need a drink.” Airen sighs.

“No,
you don’t.” I swipe the bottle of bourbon from his hand and toss it to Joseph.
“I know this is bound to be an uncomfortable conversation, but we all need to
know that it’s not the alcohol talking. Besides, you aren’t even well enough to
drink.” Airen definitely stepped outside his comfort zone yesterday, confessing
his feelings for Joseph and suggesting this arrangement. Now that he’s faced
with the prospect of actually talking about our relationship, he’s anxious and
flustered. It’s kind of cute.

We
settle on Joseph’s couch. Lately, privacy has been hard to come by, but he’s
managed to arrange for us to have the house to ourselves for a few hours. “How
are you feeling?” he asks, turning to Airen.

“Much
better. I’m glad to be out of that damn bed, and Julie finally had mercy and
switched me from an IV to pills.” Joseph nods, and an awkward silence settles
over the room. We’re here to talk about our relationship and how we want it to
work, but no one seems to know where to begin.

“Okay,
I’ll start,” Joseph blurts, taking a deep breath before taking a seat between
us. “I want to say something before either of you chooses whether or not to see
this through. The most fortunate day of my life was the day I fell into your
yard and into this family. I love you both more than I can describe. Words
don’t do justice to the extent and depth of my feelings, and no matter how we
go on from this moment that will always remain the same.”

God,
he’s the sweetest man on the planet. I embrace him and he runs his fingers
through my hair. My voice wavers and cracks when I try to respond, until I
abandon my attempts and settle for hugging him again.

“If,
after some thought you don’t believe this is what you want, I’ll understand.
Nothing has to change between us,” he adds, glancing at Airen.

“We
want you,” Airen replies, his voice gruff.

“We
love you,” I add, regaining my composure. Joseph nods, squeezing my hand.

Airen
smirks, leaning back into the cushions. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes,”
he whispers, “but I have some concerns.”

“I’m
sure we all do. We’ll figure things out,” Airen replies flippantly.

My
palms are sweaty as I glance nervously between them. “I have no idea how a
three way relationship is supposed to work. I have a million questions.”

Airen
smiles at me. “It will work however we want it to, darlin’. We make the rules.”

Joseph
shifts in his seat. “We need to be open and honest with each other,” he warns.
“I know it may be hard for you, Abby, and even more so for Airen, to be
forthcoming about your feelings. But communication is the most important thing
in any relationship, and doubly so in a plural one. If we can’t be frank and
admit when something is wrong, or if we attempt to hide how we feel, we’ll hurt
one another and this will never work.” His gaze falls on Airen.

Airen
nods and stares at the floor while he responds. “I’ve thought about this for a
long time, so don’t think I’ve made this choice lightly. It doesn’t even feel
like a choice. It just feels right,” he murmurs.

Oh,
the look on Joseph’s face is heartrending. To hear how Airen wants him, cares
for him, after years of longing, leaves him speechless.

Airen
turns to me. “My biggest fear is that you’re going to get hurt.” Those beautiful
black eyes gaze into mine while he takes my hand. “I don’t want you to think
you aren’t enough for me, sweetheart, or that you have to share me with Joseph
if that isn’t want you want. You’re my wife, and you’ll always be first in my
heart.”

With
an apologetic air, he turns to Joseph. “You need to know that as well. I owe
you so much. Christ, Joseph…Lane wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for you. You
risked your life for him, and I’ll never be able to repay what you’ve done for
me and mine. Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you, but if this
doesn’t work out…” he hesitates.

Joseph
nods and replies softly, “Your relationship with your wife should be what’s
most important to you. I never expected anything else. If this causes trouble
between you, I’ll be the first to step aside. I couldn’t live with the
knowledge that I hurt either of you.”

This
sounds so unfair, like Joseph is still an outsider in our relationship instead
of an equal. If it doesn’t work out, I have every intention of being the one to
leave and let them be together, but I’m not going to argue the point because I
know they won’t agree.

“That’s
what worries me, Joseph,” I interject. “I’m afraid we’ll hurt you. If this
falls apart, Airen and I have each other, but you’ll be alone.”

“Then
I’ll be no worse off than I am now. Besides, if our relationship were to fail,
I wouldn’t be alone. It’s not like I’d run away,” he scoffs, making light of
his remark, but pain darkens his features as he refers to Troy.

I
nod, somewhat placated, and slip my arm around Airen. “Don’t worry about me. We’re
doing this because we all love each other. It’s not an insinuation that I don’t
make you happy. I want this as much as you do.”
Maybe more
.

Airen
hugs me and kisses my forehead before turning to Joseph. “What else has you
worried?” he asks in a gentle voice.

Joseph
bounds from the couch, pacing the room like a caged animal. “I’m a selfish
asshole!” he blurts. “I want you both so much that I’m risking your marriage
and our friendship. It’s just…the thought of waking up with you, of being so
close to you…it’s incredible.” A tortured expression twists his face, and he
swallows hard before continuing.

“My
feelings are overshadowing my judgment. Even though I know this could end badly
and hurt the two most important people in my life, I can’t say no.” His blond
head bows in shame. “My heart has totally eclipsed my brain.”

He’s
tearing me to pieces, cutting me wide open, and I see the same watery look in
Airen’s eyes. I grasp his hands and tug him back down to sit between us on the
couch. “If needing to be with the people you love makes you selfish, than we’re
all guilty of the same. You’re over thinking this, Joseph.”

Airen
snorts. “And that’s coming from Mrs. Overanalyze Everything.” I smack him
playfully and he squeezes my knee. Gazing at Joseph, his mouth twists in
amusement. “Look, we’re all essentially stressing over the same thing. We’re
terrified that we’ll fuck this up and hurt each other. It doesn’t change the
fact we want to be together, does it?” A small grin curls his lips when we
shake our heads. “So, we’ll all be selfish assholes together.”

Joseph
and I laugh, and I’m relieved to see his face smooth out as the tension drains
from his body. I hate to bring up this next issue, but it’s my biggest concern.

“Airen,”
I begin, hesitantly. “Do you really think that jealousy won’t be a problem?”

“Why?
Does watching me kiss Joseph make you jealous?” Joseph’s face lights with
surprise, and Airen’s impish grin makes me giggle. Airen never directly talks
about the two of them like that.

“Are
you kidding? It’s hot as hell.” I laugh, bumping his shoulder. “But how are you
going to feel when you see Joseph…with me? You were a complete ass when Eric
wanted to spend time with me and that was totally platonic.”

“It’s
different with Joseph,” he mutters, glancing at him self consciously. “If Eric
touches you, there will be pieces of him buried all over the yard.”

“I’ll
dig the holes,” Joseph says before asking, “If my being with Abby does bother
you, will you tell me?”

“Yes,
but I swear, it won’t be an issue.”

I
nod, already thinking about my next question.

“You
don’t believe me?” he asks, his face tense.

“Of
course I believe you.” I study my hands nervously, trying to get up the nerve
to say what I need to when I’m ashamed of how I feel. I’m about to take selfish
to a whole new level. Airen watches me closely, obviously disturbed by my
hesitation. His hand runs gently down my back, and Joseph’s fingers close over
mine.

“Then
what is it, darlin’?”

I
can’t look at them. “I realize this is completely unfair and totally selfish,”
I warn.

“You
can tell us,” Joseph encourages softly when I pause to take a deep breath.

“You
can’t have another woman,” I blurt.
Smooth, Abby, real smooth
.

Identical
confused expressions regard me while I continue. “I’m afraid one of you will
eventually want to bring another woman into our relationship. It would only be
fair since I have both of you, but I couldn’t deal with it. I
am
that
jealous. I can’t even think of you with another woman. It would destroy me,” I
confess. I could barely stomach the thought of Emma kissing Joseph. If some
bitch even touches Airen, I’ll lose it.

“Abby,
no,” Joseph exclaims, glancing at Airen who nods for him to explain. “You have
the wrong idea. This is a committed relationship between three people. Like any
other relationship, there’s no going outside of it. We can’t bring new people
in. If I fell for someone new, male or female, then I’d have to make a choice,
you and Airen, or the new person. Same goes for you two.”

Relieved,
I wrap my arms around Joseph. “You’re the only one I could ever share him
with.”

Airen’s
arms are around me as soon as Joseph’s let go. “We feel the same way,
sweetheart. You’re the only woman I want,” Airen declares.

“We
want,” Joseph corrects, kissing my cheek.

“I
feel like I just hit the lottery,” I reply, a surge of happiness flowing
through me.

Joseph
chuckles. “You and me both, baby.”

“So.”
I grin, settling back in the crook of Airen’s arm. “How does this work…you
know…sexually? Are we all going to sleep in the same bed?” I can’t just blurt
out the real question. Are we all going to fuck each other at once?

Joseph
leans back and crosses his legs. “Well, if you get on top and Airen comes
around behind...”

“Joseph!”
I screech, throwing a pillow at him. Their laughter fills the room.

“I
think you and Airen should have some nights to yourselves. You still need your
private relationship.” I shake my head. He’s still seeing himself as an
outsider in this.

Airen
smirks at him. “We all should have one on one time with each other. What if we
follow a schedule? The three of us can spend every other night together, and we
can rotate on the alternate nights. For example, if we all stay together on
Monday night, then you and Abby have Tuesday night to yourselves. We all spend
Wednesday night together then Abby and I have Thursday night alone…and so on.”

“Friday
night would be all of us, and Saturday would belong to you and Joseph,” I
elaborate. I want to be sure they plan to spend time alone as well. “That gives
us a one on one night with each other, plus a night alone each week.”

“You’ll
need that to recover.” Airen smiles wickedly.

“So
will you,” Joseph threatens with an equally sinister smile. The look on Airen’s
face is priceless, and now I can’t get the picture of the two of them, naked
and sweaty, out of my mind.

“So,”
I continue, “on the nights we stay together…we’re going to…I mean…” Ugh! Why
can’t I just say it? I feel my face ignite. “I’ve never had a threesome,” I say,
the rattle of nerves clearly evident in my voice.

Joseph
chuckles and squeezes my knee. “You’re so adorable when you’re all pink cheeked
and flustered,” he teases, which of course makes my blush deepen. “It’ll be my
first time too, baby.”

Airen
tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t
want to do.”

“I
didn’t say I don’t want to. Do I look crazy enough to pass on an opportunity to
have the two sexiest men on the planet in my bed?” They laugh, and I feel the
tension that’s gripped us since the beginning of this conversation dissipate.

“While
we’re on the subject,” Airen speaks up, glancing uncertainly at Joseph. “You
should know I’m not going to…” he hesitates.

“Bend
over for me?” Joseph’s lips rise in an impish grin, and it’s Airen’s turn to
glow firehouse red.

“Yeah,
not happening. Exit only.”

“No
need to guard your virtue.” Joseph chuckles, enjoying Airen’s embarrassment.
“Topping isn’t my style. If you ever have the urge to try it, I’ll be happy to
do it for you, but it isn’t my preference, at least when it comes to men.” He
winks at me suggestively, squeezing my knee again. Oh yes, he had no problem
giving it to me.

“I’m
not going to lie and say I don’t want you to fuck me, Airen. I do, but only if
you want to.” Joseph’s voice softens and he rests his hand on Airen’s shoulder.
“I know this is new for you. Believe me, I understand. We’ll take our time and
learn what you like together. I can teach you. I’m a good teacher.”

Airen
nods and gnaws at his bottom lip. I’ve never seen him so uncharacteristically
shy. I can tell from Joseph’s body language that he’s itching to embrace him,
to reassure him, but he’s afraid it will only embarrass him further.