Fallocaust (The Fallocaust Series) (116 page)

I rose, and picked up my radio and spoke into it. “I found him.” My voice was quivering. “He’s okay, go home.”

I turned it off so I didn’t have to listen to their responses. Before I bent down and picked him up. He was so light, so frail.

Killian looked behind me, with blue chattering lips. “You need to find them,” he pleaded weakly.
“I will, Killi,” I whispered, I held him close to me and started walking home. “I’ll kill them as many times as it takes, I promise.”
“Okay.”

Reno was waiting for me, leaning up against the wall of my house, waterfalls of water fell over him in sheets, dripping from the overhang. I made brief eye contact with him, I tried to make my steps as solid and confident as I could.

He must have seen it in my eyes, but what questions he had he respected the situation enough to not give them voice. He only made a motion towards Asher’s house, asking if I wanted him to go home. I nodded and carried Killian inside.

Quiet as a mouse, trembling in his soaked clothing, he stared ahead without a single twitch of his eyes. I started trying to get him out of his clothes.

“No, no!” He shot back to reality and yanked his shirt away from my hands.

Did he just not want to be naked and exposed? I guess that might be some rape side affect, it sounded like something they might get crazy about. I passed him a blanket and dragged the heater up to him. “Put the blanket over you and take your clothes off. I wont look.”

Killian pulled the blanket over him and I turned around so I wasn’t looking. Was he afraid of me? The prospect made my stomach twist.

As I was turned around he shuffled past me to put his wet clothes into the laundry corner. I sighed not even telling him I would do it. He always had to clean things.

I didn’t know what to do, so I put on a movie and sat down by my desk, near enough to be close to him but not close enough to make him ancy. I debated getting the couch cushions again, perhaps he was uncomfortable sleeping beside me too. Maybe that’s why he kept attacking me at night. Even though he was always hollering that I was Asher.

“Reaver?” Killian whispered.

I looked up from my desk, I was starting to get out a book Killian had been bugging me to read. I was hoping it would earn me some brownie points.

“I’m not crazy, I saw them.”
I gave him a smile, though it was fake and I knew he knew it. “I know, Killibee.”

“A body reveals its most shocking of secrets, after the last breath is drawn,” Killian said in an automatic, almost robotic voice. “He said that before he... left.”

This was the most I had heard him talk in a week. I wanted to try and urge him to say more. “What else did he say?”

Killian was quiet, I saw his eyes slightly glaze over, and I knew he was back inside his little world. A world where he felt safe hopefully. I reached out and rubbed his knee, I was appreciative that he didn’t recoil like my hands were on fire.

“Look at me,” I whispered, I withdrew my hand and placed it on his shoulder.

Killian’s eyes slowly turned from where he was staying. Slowly they found their way to mine.

“Just tell me you’re still in there,” I said, trying to hide the emotion in my voice but it had already raised an octave. “Tell me... you’ll be okay, in time.”

His lips pursed, disappearing into his mouth. I saw a twitch in the corner of his eye. “I killed him, why did I just see him, if I killed him?”

I slowly put my arms around him, and slipped him onto my lap. He pulled the blanket over himself to keep it from falling. “Your mind is just fucking with you, he isn’t real. It’s your imagination just... you just need to ignore it.”

Killian nodded and I felt him rest a damp head on my shoulder. “He’s dead... his last breath has been drawn...”

“That’s right, Perish is dead, we saw him,” I said back and gave him a squeeze. “Now just... go to sleep. You’ll be warm when you wake up. I’ll leave the heat on all night and I promise I wont go out.”

And I didn’t even though I wanted to scout out where I had found him. I decided to take Doc’s advice last week and do the opposite of what I wanted.

I was glad I did, he woke up to claw my face off two more times. By the end of the night I had duct taped oven mitts to his hands.

“Reaver... why?”

I had heard him coming down the tank hatch but I didn’t want to move. I had forgotten about the oven mitts though, this was night three of the oven mitts.

It had been working though, instead of my face being gouged I was getting my face buffed and caressed instead. It still woke me up though but at least my eyes weren’t getting clawed out.

“This is why,” I pointed to my facial wounds, though my eyes were still closed. I heard Greyson chuckle.

“Any change?” Greyson asked. I raised myself in bed and scratched my head, obviously he wasn’t going to leave. Well whatever, it wasn’t like I was naked or anything. With Killian how he was I hadn’t been naked in bed in quite awhile.

I saw he was carrying coffee, his status rose with me, I grabbed the cup and sat down on my couch. “No,” I said stiffly.

Greyson watched me curiously, I turned my gaze from him. Though like all parents he could read me like a book.

“Worse?”

I gave a slight nod.

The mayor shifted, I could tell he was thinking of something fake to say to try and comfort me. That’s what people did right? Offer you fake sympathies to make themselves feel less guilty?

“Reaver, I noticed something about him the other night.” Not quite what I was expecting. I raised my eyes though my face was still in the coffee cup. “I’ve been debating whether to tell you...”

I stared. The lines in Greyson’s forehead deepened as his brow knitted in concern. He was looking at Killian, sleeping peacefully in my bed.

“He’s been shooting heroin.”

“What!” I shouted, Greyson hissed me quiet, his eyes glancing to the bedroom.

“I guess that reaction answers my ‘did you know?’ follow up question.”

I put the cup down, feeling dizzy. I didn’t even know what to say. He hadn’t even told me, how had he been hiding this from me? I wondered if that had been why he had been sneaking away recently, to shoot up. The notion made me prickle with annoyance, more things he was hiding from me.

“I noticed it when you two were over, sure enough I found an empty syringe and cap in the bathroom garbage.” He got up and started walking to the bedroom. I followed beside him, though I felt too sick to even stand.

Greyson gently pulled up Killian’s sweater sleeve, sure enough I could see two track marks just on his lower arm.

“I know that glassy, zombie expression anywhere after dealing with his father.” Greyson pulled it back and walked out of the bedroom.

“Where did he get this shit?” I asked after I had closed the door. “I thought you said you had gotten the rest of Jeff’s supply after he died?”

“It wasn’t his, that syringe I found is Skytech, he had ran out of those six months previous.”
“Asher.” His name filled my mouth with acid. “Killian had pushed me out of the room when he went into Asher’s bedroom, he didn’t want me to open the crate. I bet he found himself quite a treasure in there.” I picked up his canvas bag and opened it. I couldn’t hide the anger. I knew it wasn’t my place to feel resentment against my emotionally crippled boyfriend but I was quite pissed at him. I had let it go when I had sensed him lying... but now my patience was running thin.

“Do you really think you should...” Greyson began but I gave him a frosty look. I started emptying his bag.

It didn’t take me long to find the brick of heroin, or the needles, or the bag full of other fucking drugs. And other things as well. I looked in and furrowed my brow. I pulled out a few twisted pieces of shrapnel.

“He saved the shrapnel he pulled out of my back,” I said flatly. “That kid is so strange.”

Greyson laughed but I dug in deeper. I blinked as I pulled out a little bone out of the bag, tied to it was a small gold ring. I looked at Greyson with a raised eyebrow.

“I’d assume you’re holding Mrs. Massey’s finger bone tied to a wedding ring. I’d bet his father’s is in there too.” Greyson glanced into the bag. “I also think I see Perish’s chimera necklace.”

I put it back and just closed the bag. “I don’t even...” I sighed and leaned back onto the couch to look up at the ceiling. “What do I do?”

A shocked but intrigued expression appeared on the mayor’s face. “Say that again?”

I gave him a flat look. “Don’t push it, or a piece of you will be the next souvenir he keeps in that bag.”

“I’m only trying to lighten the mood, son.” I felt his hand on my knee, he patted it a couple times. “Get him off of the hard drugs, that’s a first and the other first, make sure he stops escaping.”

“Escaping...” I grumbled, what an appropriate word. He was right though, he might initially go out to shoot up but once he was out his mind kept him out. Then the hallucinations and the panic would start... like a few nights ago... I shuddered. I didn’t want to think about it... that vacant look on his eyes...

After a couple hours of shooting the shit Greyson left, reminding me as gently as he could that I would be working tonight for a couple hours. Not very many, just eleven until three in the morning. I would make sure Killian was doped up and out of it, though I would be watching this new heroin thing he was experimenting with.

I would be busting him on it, but not as soon as Greyson would want. I’d probably try some first, just to see what it was like. I mean try everything once, right? Anyways, today wasn’t a day I felt like talking about it. I just wanted a nice calm day where I could try and see if I could get some conversation out of him. Any reactions really.

I missed Killian.

That night after a rather unsuccessful day, I pretended not to notice him slip into the bathroom with his satchel. He liked spending time in the bathroom making himself all pretty and shit, so all the times he had done it before just seemed routine.

But when he came back out I noticed it. His eyes were more glassy than usual and he kept nodding into zombieland. These were typical behaviors recently so I felt the smallest bit of hope that after I got him off of the smack he would become somewhat himself again.

“You okay?” I reached out and poked his leg.

Killian looked at me, and gave me his typical vacant nod.

“So since you can eat again, want to open up some of those canned peaches? We’ve been saving those.”
“Okay.”
I sighed and went back to the comic book I was reading. Sometimes I didn’t know why I bothered. I started to hope more that it was the heroin making this happen, or making it worse at least; since even before he found Asher’s dope he was out of it. Maybe the heroin was just making it last longer.

That night after he had fallen asleep I started to get ready. M16, bullet proof vest, cargo pants and all that. I quickly fed the cat and moved the heater into my bedroom.

When I was plugging it in I noticed something behind the bed. Handcuffs from a very frisky night we had had about a month or so ago.

I smiled thinking about it. He had asked me to wear my army boots during, I had dressed him in a skin tight leather vest and nothing else. That had been a fun night.

I felt the hint of a twinge that was quickly dismissed. No sex for quite awhile, I had resolved myself to that. I ignored the tightness in my pants and got up.

I spun the cuffs in my hand though as I contemplated an idea. I didn’t like the idea but... ever since the rape thing with Asher.

Very carefully I cuffed his left hand, not tight but enough so he couldn’t escape, and then cuffed the last link to my bed frame.

Now he would stay put. I wouldn’t have to worry about him waking up and wandering off. It could be raining again, or worse storming. You could never tell until you left my shed, there were no windows inside. I had filled them with concrete years ago.

I slipped out quietly, turning the generator off as I did. The Ieon charger would power the heater almost all the night, he should be warm and comfortable. He had no need to go anywhere, and now I could prevent his mind from convincing him otherwise.

I gulped the cold air, it was dry out, perfect. I whistled for the deacdog and went off to the north wall.

Chapter 49

Killian

I looked down at the mug of dingy water, still warm from boiling it. I had wanted to cool it a bit longer outside but Dad had kept asking for water. Every time I would tell him it wasn’t ready yet he would just stare at me helplessly; I hated how he stared at me. He was looking at me like I knew what to do.

I didn’t know what to do!

I walked through the door, ignoring the festering stench that was coming off of my father, I didn’t want him to see me wrinkle my nose. It would just make him feel self conscious, I had to allow him as much dignity as I could. Though by this time there was none between us.

Dad was on the mattress on the floor, the sheets a tangled mess at his feet and his blanket half on him. His bare chest was covered in sores, moving sores that seemed to retract into him every time I tried to wash him.

When he saw me, he tried to raise a hand, but it fell after only a few inches in the air. When it flopped down half on the mattress I saw a couple maggots land on the floor, thrashing and twisting in their anger at being disturbed.

“I have water, Dad,” I said quietly. I had a blanket over the window, the sun seemed to bother him and Mom. It was dark except for the faint bluelamp. I left it on all the time, it was covered in Dad’s pus so I didn’t touch it anymore. He had tried to turn it off himself when it was too bright, but his flesh had been too soft and his grip weak. It smelled like death now.

The whole room did.

I put my hand behind my father’s head, I didn’t just feel damp, I felt wet, sticky... another sore must have burst...

His lips desperately found the cup, his throat and mouth made a high pitch slurping sound as he tried to suck the water.

As he drank I could feel wiggling in the hand I had on his head, I wanted to recoil it but I couldn’t. He would fall back if I did. I bit my lip and just helped him drink, ignoring the maggots squirming between my fingers.