Fallocaust (The Fallocaust Series) (54 page)

Stop forgetting he’s crazy... fuck I was constantly forgetting how unstable he was. Fuck, I had no choice though, he had me tied, I had to obey. He was in control, he was always in control.

Then he brought his head up to my wound, and started to lick the blood away with his tongue. I shifted away from him but I couldn’t move my body away from him.

His tongue penetrated the cut, and then a suction as he sucked my blood out. When he lifted up his head this time though, he turned to his steel cart and brought out the tweezers.

“That hurt,” I said defensively. It hadn’t really, but I didn’t have the balls to tell him how fucked up I thought it was.

“Pain is in your mind, don’t let it control you,” Perish said in a reassuring voice. “Make pain bow to you, make it pleasurable. Like you enjoyed cutting your arms, no? Make it release.”

Is this how he coped with what King Silas and his brothers did to him?

“What about you?” I asked him, hoping perhaps that might break through his weird behavior, snap him back a bit to reality. “What is the most pain you’ve felt?”

When I saw his eyes harden I immediately regretted my words. He roughly dug the tweezers into my wound and started pinching the flesh inside trying to snag the chip.

I gave out a cry as he jabbed me particularly hard. “You did that on fucking purpose!” I snapped out of anger.

Perish glared at me, I felt my body go cold. “You think this is bad? You think-” he dug the tweezers into the scalpel wound, I gritted through a scream. “- that is a horrible pain? Pain is a part of life.” He glared at me, an edge to his usual sweet voice. “You think getting beaten up and raped by one person is pain? You don’t know pain, or suffering.”

I started to twist my arms in their velcro binds, my heart panicked and racing. Perish yanked the small geigerchip out. He put his finger inside the bleeding hole in my chest and dug it in. I cried out and felt my head go faint as he pushed up against bone. I could only see his finger knuckle sticking out of the wound.

“Please, Perish, I know pain,” I stammered, before I clenched my eyes shut and let my head fall onto the operating table.

“You don’t know pain, Killian,” Perish said angrily.

What the hell did he want me to say? Everything seemed to make him more mad. I clamped my teeth over my lip and bit down. “You’re right, I don’t, Perry.” I gritted as I felt him put the new geigerchip in, then a moment later the stinging of the hook needle, then the pulling of thread. “I’m sorry you do, you don’t deserve to be treated like that.”
I thought this would make him happy, but he gave me a bewildered shocked look. He roughly pulled the thread out before digging the hook in.

“I do deserve it, I do. Master says I did. I failed. I’m too stupid, I’m not like Sky at all. I should be dead.” Perish continued to ramble as he put the last several stitches in. When he was finished he tied off the thread and looked around the room desperately. He started rubbing his hands together.

“Perish?” I said when his rambling had toned down to a slight movement in his lips. “Why don’t you undo my binds, and we can watch a movie together? I’ll hold your hand.”

There was a ripping sound as he yanked the velcro off my left hand. Surprisingly as I undid my right one, he picked up the tray that he had had resting on the metal cart and left the room without another word.

I felt a pang as I heard him sniff, I knew that sound. I knew he had lost control and I knew his tormented mind was making him pay for it now.

I sighed, relieved I wasn’t bound anymore. I looked down and examined my newest injury. At least the wound was nicely stitched up and covered in a white adhesive band aid.

Rising off of the chair, I realized I didn’t know what I was suppose to do. So I followed him. Stepping over the plastic wrapping of my new geigerchip on the floor and several strips of bloodied cloth.

I heard him in his bedroom, I gathered myself and quietly approached the door.

“Perish!” I gasped.

Perish was cutting into his arm with the scalpel. He had a huge wad of gauze where his arm was resting, on top of his knee. It was tipped with blood that fell freely from his long vertical cut. It looked like he was already a few slices in.

“What are you doing?” I immediately dropped to my knees and covered his wound with some of the gauze. I took the scalpel away carefully, and put pressure on the slash.

“I deserve it, Killian.” Perish’s voice was hollow. “My only reason for existing is to make master happy, and I didn’t. They all hate me, I deserve it.”

I shook my head, I felt so badly for him. He had nothing going for him anymore, he didn’t even have an intact mind. His family had caused it, not him.

I lifted the threddy cloth away, thankfully the wound wasn’t too deep. I don’t think it even needed stitches. I rubbed the blood away from it gently. It seemed to calm him down.

“I don’t want to see you hurt, Perry,” I whispered. “I don’t think you deserved it.”

It was silent for several minutes until Perish finally spoke. When he did it was in the same dead defeated voice.

“You ask what is the worst pain for me? I will tell you the worst pain.”

I looked up at him, but I didn’t think it was smart to respond.

“My worst pain. Silas and some of my brothers took their turns with me, for four days. I was thrown in a room, all black and left to rot.” He began. “I felt something drag, and cold against inside my leg. You know what it was? My colon, it had prolapsed and was hanging out of me. You know what happened next?”

I was frozen, but I managed to shake my head.

“It infected, only Drake and Ellis took care of me. Ellis swore to get Nero back for me, Drake held me, but then master found out and punished both and no one was there. Master did my surgery, while I was awake, he operated on me. Put the black, rotting flesh into the bucket, cleaned with water that stung. Just him and me, he said... what did he say?”

“Pain is a part of living?” I replied in a hushed voice.

“And pain is a part of dying,” Perish nodded “We all have to experience pain, pain is therapeutic, and pain is good punishment.”

The first thought in my head was to remind me that he was insane, but then I remembered when I had cut myself after Reaver had gone missing. It had helped calm me down. There was methods to this mania he had about him. So many of the things that came out of his mouth sounded crazy at first,  but once you thought of them; it almost made sense.

“Why do you like it when I experience pain?” I asked, not knowing the reaction I would get.

It seemed to catch him off guard, I don’t think he even realized that he enjoyed it, but I know he did. I knew he had enjoyed it even when he had electrocuted me.

“I don’t...” Perish’s voice was slow and deliberate. He didn’t believe his own words and neither did I. “You’ll never be in pain, not real pain. This-” he put his hand up and brushed my bandage. “Is not pain, it is to make you healthy.”

“I know... Perish,” I rubbed his arm trying to soothe him. “You would never hurt me.”

He put his hand over mine, and looked at it for a second. His mind off to places far away.

“Come with me...why don’t we play a board game, okay?”

He got up, the gauze still pressed against his wound, and left his bedroom.

Chapter 24

Killian

I spent the rest of the day and the next with Perish almost non-stop. After my geigerchip implant and his self mutilation he seemed to want to always be with me. I didn’t know if he was trying to make up for me catching on to his sadism or what but he was very lovey dovey towards me.

When he wasn’t being overly affectionate he was a fascinating person to listen to. He knew so much, and loved sharing and teaching me that knowledge. Though his favourite topic was his splices, I tried to get him to teach me how he grew all his plants. Something that I could use when we got back home.

I already had plans for making my own garden in Aras, I had even managed to hoard some seeds into my satchel. I even got the peach pit from Reaver when I was allowed to feed him Oreos and ice cream.

He had liked the Oreos, I fed him six of them before I pretended we were out. I was afraid anymore would make him throw up.

My poor Reaver wasn’t doing well. Mentally I knew he was losing it. Nero couldn’t come fast enough. I knew I could handle another few weeks of Perish, but Reaver couldn’t handle many more days without sleep. He was cracking. All of my begging fell on deaf ears. He just stared at the TV screens, and only looked away to eat or jerk himself away from my touch.

At least he didn’t piss Perish off anymore. He had given up on that, even the sarcastic comments were gone. It was good in a way, but in another way... that was my Reaver. My Reaver made asshole comments like that no matter who the person was. It was just another bit of him I was losing. It broke my heart.

He had even asked if we could plant an Oreo tree, and a Twinkie tree. I had told him we could. I didn’t really have the heart to tell him that was well... a bafflingly insane idea.

I did my best with him though but Perish didn’t let me see him more than once or twice a day. I didn’t argue, I wanted to, but I didn’t. I had to keep Perish’s trust until we could escape.

I did feel more relaxed around him in a way, but my guard was always up. His weird quirks and craziness was never far away, even when he was at his nicest. I made sure to remember that.

They came up at very odd times though. I had gotten him to open up about King Silas, just to try and be therapeutic and the next thing I knew he was trying to show me porn. I had to fake a panic attack to get him to stop asking. I think he was trying to get his mind away from the memories, maybe porn or jerking off was a good way to do that. I wasn’t sure.

I managed to sway him though, I hammed up the panic attack and made that his focus. After half an hour the porn tape lay forgotten. Though I did make a note of where he put it, I was going to give it to Reno. Honestly I wouldn’t have minded seeing how it’s done, but Reaver had a feed to the living room and that would just be too weird. And I didn’t trust that it wouldn’t rile up Perish and it would be cruel to kind of tease him like that.

I was also able to pocket some of the tetanus bottles, twelve of them to be exact. It made my satchel rather heavy but the bottles were plastic not glass so it wasn’t as bad as I thought they would be. I’d give the vaccines to my friends and one for Reaver and the rest we could sell (I know Reaver would never let me just donate them).

That night I let him spoon me, I was half asleep so I knew I would go right to sleep anyways. He had spent hours in the laboratories while I slept and during the day too. That was the only alone time I got. I spent it exploring the lab, and I even managed to find a spare key card that actually worked though it was worn and old. I started looking around for the key to Reaver’s collar. I had some good ideas to where it was, but it was in the far end of the lab near his dry food storage. Out of the way from where he would expect me to be, so I hadn’t been brave enough to look. I was too afraid of getting caught.

Everything was slowly coming together, and I thought I was relatively safe with Perish; but I woke up in the middle of the night tonight, to him groping me.

I grabbed his hand and clenched it. “What are you doing?” I said, I had been around him almost nonstop for several days now and his submissive nature was giving me some teeth.

As I woke up more, I realized he was grinding his hard penis into my backside and breathing in my ear.

“Perish get off of me!” I turned around and pushed him away.

“Lay back down,” Perish said, his voice laboured but it had more of an enforcer tone to it. “Please.”

I didn’t lay back down, I rose from the bed. “You promised you wouldn’t touch me...”

Perish turned the side lamp on. He was in his boxers but the hard tip was sticking out of them. He was sitting up in the bed, one leg up and the other one crossed. His face was flushed, and he looked... different. There was a glint in his eyes I had never seen before. My mind started to fill with cold dread.

“I... I need you, I need your help.” Perish stumbled, he started rubbing himself outside of his boxers. “If you don’t help me, I will have to... have to break my promise.”

“You’ll rape me?” I backed up until I hit the wall. Reaver had the detonator, but he couldn’t see me... Perish was stronger than me. I knew he would overpower me in a second. I glanced around for something I could defend myself with. Books, and the dresser... I could use a book if needed but I think I would just end up biting down if he tried to put it in my mouth.

“I don’t want too!” I heard the desperation drip from his voice, he looked away pain filling his eyes. “I want you so badly. Just touch it, please.”

I felt sick, I didn’t want to,  it was wrong. Reaver would hate me, no... he said he would forgive me, but what he said and how he felt after I admitted it could be two different things. I only had one more evening with him until Nero was gone. I came this far without having to do anything to him.

I remembered Reaver’s words, as I took a step towards Perish he took his boxer pants off. He took the hard member into his hands, with out foreskin and big. The tip of it holding wetness. I hadn’t seen a man naked in front of me before, I tried to push down the shock but my heart was a jackhammer.

With a ragged inhale and a cold tightness in my chest I took a step forward. He was holding the base in his hands. I kneeled down in front of him, but as I did he opened his legs.

“Put two fingers in,” Perish whispered, he was squeezing and tugging himself. I could see his hole, hairless and smooth, his whole body was trimmed. He was... he had a nice body, I’d give him that.

I swallowed a lump in my throat and licked my fingers. When he realized I was going to do it, he started running his hand up and down his shaft, his breathing getting short from the excitement.