False Regret: Pikorua - Book 1 (13 page)

When
the dance started, and the students arrived, Maria got on stage to announce the
band. “Hello, everyone. I would like to congratulate our football players for
their amazing win last night.” Everyone in the gym cheered, and Maria quieted
them with her hands. “I would also like to congratulate our homecoming court
and newly appointed king and queen, Bridgette and Jeremy.” Again the students
cheered. “We have a special treat for all of you tonight. As most of you may
already know, our newest student this year plays in a band, and this band has
won many awards in the Detroit area, including the coveted WZRK’s best new band
of the year, last summer. They graciously agreed to travel up here from the
motor city to play for us. We have CD’s available for sale at the back table
for ten dollars apiece, the band will donate a percentage of the proceeds
towards our food drive for the needy this year. Also, they will be available
for autographs after the show.  Trust me, these guys are going places, and you’ll
want to get your signed copy today.” Maria smiled at the crowd. “Now, I would
like to introduce to you, straight from Detroit City,
Unraveled!
” She yelled,
clapped her hands, and jumped up and down, her boobs nearly spilling out of her
dress.

 
He
is so damn handsome,
I thought again as he walked out on stage with so much
confidence it surprised me. I sighed out loud like one of his swooning groupies.
The music started, and the bass made my body vibrate. If it wasn’t for the
gymnasium walls, I’d believe we were at a real rock concert. My peers were as
mesmerized as I, and soon we were all writhing on the dance floor to sound of
Cade’s original music. Between songs, he talked to his audience, keeping us all
engaged. Sometimes, he shared the meanings behind the lyrics, but nothing overly
personal. He was a true front man on stage, so completely sure of himself. He
was intriguing to watch and unbelievably talented as a musician and singer.

The
sound technicians DJ’d between sets, and Cade danced with me on their breaks. “You
guys are so good,” I said. “I swear Cade, I am totally blown away by your
performance. You are phenomenal and irreplaceable. I completely understand why
they need you back.”

Cade
held me close and kissed my neck, giving me a shiver that radiated the length
of my body. “Thank you, babe,” he whispered in my ear. “But honestly, I am
having a hard time concentrating up there while you are down here dancing
without me. God, I want to be alone with you more than just about anything
right now.” He pecked my lips as his hands pulled my hips into his.

My
forehead rested on his when he bowed his head towards me. “I know what you mean,”
I answered back and gave him a wicked smile. I still couldn’t believe I’d
fallen so hard for a boy in just a couple of months. It was beyond crazy, and
so far from who I thought I was.

When
Cade returned to the stage for the last set of the night, they played hard, but
ended on a tender note. Cade’s introduction to the final song, propelled frissons
down my spine.

 “I
wrote this melody not long ago and sent the music to my band mates. This is the
first time we have played it together. It’s about an incredible girl I met and
how she changed my life. I want her to know how much I care about her.” His
eyes met mine, and he sang the most beautiful love song I’d ever heard. Too
enraptured to be embarrassed, I never wanted it to end. When the last note
closed, Cade set down his guitar and jumped off the stage. So as not to get us
in trouble, he simply hugged me and whispered. “I love you, Ellia.”

We
ignored the cat calls, whistling, and applause. “God, I love you, too. The song
was so beautiful, I am trying not to cry,” I said, holding him close.

“I
don’t want you to cry, I just need you to understand what you mean to me. I want
them all to know.” he replied and kissed me chastely on my cheek. His hands roamed
the bare skin on my backless dress. “Listen, the guys offered to tear down
without me. Want to get out of here?”  I nodded eagerly, and we snuck out the
back

Later
that night, I lay in my bed, wrapped in my white, eyelet comforter, considering
the new sexual lines we crossed in my truck by the lake. The crickets serenaded
us under the moonlight, and the windows became sightless through the
condensation we’d worked up on the glass. We were now on equal sexual ground
and going all the way was the final step. I was more than ready to give myself fully
to this boy. Not wanting to be impetuous teenagers, the act had to be
approached maturely with well thought out protection. A baby would ruin
whatever future we chose for ourselves. We were way too young for that kind of
responsibility.  In those precious moments of remembering how Cade’s hands and
mouth had made me feel, I decided to visit the clinic for birth control.

***

The
SUV was rolling along the highway at top speed, but the truck was keeping pace.
Two more shots came through the back window before Cade fired off a few of his
own. I thought my ear drums would explode from the assault of gunfire in close
quarters. Clasping my hands over my ears, I hunkered low in the seat.

Agent
Roberts took the corners so sharp, I was sure the SUV would flip, but he maintained
control of the huge beast. We could not shake the black truck no matter how expertly
the agent maneuvered. Cade had crawled into the back of the vehicle, and I
feared for him. I wanted to protect him, especially after all the revelations
he shared, but he was a trained professional in the art of defense, so I had to
keep the faith he knew what he was doing. The black seat belt cut into my
abdomen from the swerving and jerky driving, firing up the bruised ribs and
pelvis Mr. Gordon had given me.  I heard Cade fire his gun again, two more shots
in succession, and the next sound I perceived were tires screeching on
pavement. Against orders, I put my head up and looked out the back window. Cade
had shot out the black truck’s front tires, and the driver  lost control, going
over one hundred miles per hour. The truck hit the ditch and went into a series
of acrobatic flips before smashing up against a large oak tree. Agent Roberts had
slowed by then, and the sight of twisted hot metal was in my line of vision.
There was little hope the occupants of the vehicle were alive. I covered my eyes.
It was horrific, and the image burned in my retinas.

Agent
Roberts was on his phone reporting the incident to someone as Cade crawled back
into the seat next to me. He pulled my hands away from her face. “Are you all
right? Did you get hurt?” he asked, and I thought I saw real concern in those
dead eyes. I shook my head, and pulled away from his touch. I was emotionally
sick. Having stood witness to more than one tragic passing in a just a few short
days, was more than my senses could handle. I was shaking so hard my teeth
chattered together while Cade sat calmly looking at me like this was another
ordinary day in his world. And it was, I supposed. This was his life now, but not
mine. Death was nothing to him because human life had lost its value. I hated
who he had become, whether it was for the good guys or not. We drove on in silence
as if the event had never occurred. From the corner of my eye, I watched him reload
his weapon with sure steady fingers, and it made me queasy. The back window lay
in pieces strewn about the SUV, and I was freezing. I huddled up against the
door, staring at the farm land that passed by in a blur. Cade retrieved a coat
from their bags in the back and put it on me. I didn’t acknowledge him or thank
him. The warmth of the heavy jacket with the FBI letters on the back was
comforting, but I was cold from the inside out more so than the other way
around, it seemed.  When we pulled off the expressway and into a gas station,
two more unmarked Bureau vehicles waited for us. The men exchanged keys, and Cade
told me we were changing SUV’s, this time taking a dark green Ford Expedition.

“Let’s
go inside so you can use the rest room, Ellia, we still have a long drive ahead
of us.”  I didn’t speak to him but let him help me out of the suburban. My legs
felt rubbery, and my neck hurt from being whipped around so much in the earlier
car chase. Cade kept a hold of my arm, even when I tried to pull away from him,
a smart decision on his part. My footing was unsteady, and I tripped when
stepping onto the side walk. He escorted me to the bathroom but waited outside
the door. I relieved a bladder I hadn’t realized was full and vomited again.  I
scrubbed my hands, which were shaking so violently it was hard to control them,
and looked in the mirror. Death stared back, a pale figure with dark circles
under one eye and purplish, green bruises surrounding the other. The stress and
illness had taken a toll, and my gaunt features reflected it. A significant
amount of weight seemed to have melted away, and I looked damn near skeletal. Tangles
of crazed blonde hair framed my face. My appearance was reminiscent of an
escaped mental patient. I splashed warm water on my cheeks.  That sick and scared
sensation came over me again, feeling like a tsunami sent to drown me. Tears
fell in hot rivers, and I gripped the edge of the sink trying to keep a hold on
reality. My head was pounding as my heart beat deafened me. Somehow, I must
have slipped down to the dirty white tile as I lost track of time. Cade’s hand
gripping my upper arm brought me back to reality.

“Ellia,”
he said, pulling me to my feet. “We need to go. Are you ready to move?” he
asked.  I pulled away from his grip and grabbed a handful of paper towels to
blow my nose. I walked right past him, leaving the bathroom and heading towards
the door. He matched my pace and opened the expedition’s door for me. I got in,
but this time, he didn’t sit next to me. He got in the driver’s seat, and Agent
Roberts got in the passenger side. The shot-up SUV was taken away. We headed
out to the highway as I sat alone in the backseat.

 Cade
spoke over his shoulder to me as he drove. “There is food in the bag and
bottles of water. I also got you a coffee,” he said, motioning to the cup in
the holder. “Try to eat and drink something. You need to get your strength
back.” He turned his attention to the road that loomed ahead. I ignored him and
the sustenance, not sure if I could hold it down even if I wanted it.

“I
need to find my Mom and Sam,” I said, staring out the window but feeling
determined to do the job they couldn’t.

Agent
Roberts answered, turning around to look at me. “Miss Meyers, your mother and your
brother went missing the same day you were abducted.  Our agents that delivered
the vehicle relayed information that your brother is confirmed alive, and he is
being held at a remote location.” He stopped short as Cade shot Roberts a look,
warning him not to say anything else. I wouldn’t be satisfied until I knew the truth
though.

“And
my mother?” I asked. They were both quiet, not answering right away.

Finally,
Cade spoke. “Ellia, can we talk about this when we get to where we are going?
Please just eat something and try to rest,” he said.

“Fuck
no!” I yelled. “Tell me right now? Is my mom dead?” The words sounded strangled
in my constricted throat.

He
exhaled and looked briefly over his shoulder at me, as if assessing my mental
state. “We don’t know. The agent we had in place was killed. We don’t know your
mother’s whereabouts. I know this has been extremely difficult for you, and I
wish I had good news. But we still don’t know.”

“You
know something, Agent Cantrell, or you wouldn’t be hesitating. Don’t fuck me around
anymore. I am sick of your lies and secrets. Just tell me the goddamn truth!” I
yelled, angry tears burning my cheeks again.

Agent
Roberts spoke instead. “Miss Meyers, the facts are what we have stated, however
we have reason to believe that she is most likely no longer alive. She was
being held in a warehouse. The agent had his cover compromised by a police officer
investigating squatters in the building. An altercation involving gunfire
ensued, and the structure, ended up in flames. The status of any survivors is
unknown.” He rattled the news off like he was reading a newspaper. I hated him,
and I hated Cade even more.

“Don’t
give up hope. We don’t know anything for sure.” Cade met my eyes in the rear
view mirror.

I
laughed at him, the hysteria about to uncoil me. “Hope? Hope? Really, Agent
Cantrell? You really think I should have hope? Hope for what? I have been kidnapped,
beat up, watched the man I loved get his brains splattered all over a motel
room, been shot at, witnessed a horrific car accident, learned that my family
was kidnapped, and now my mother is most likely dead. Amidst all of that, I also
have to wrap my head around the concept that my father and the boy I thought I knew
faked a death that nearly killed me. And the pièce de résistance is the fact
that my good ol’ daddy is to blame for all of it. Where the fuck is the hope in
any of that, Agent?” Neither men responded. I took off the FBI jacket I was
wrapped in, rolled it into a ball, and threw it to the other side of the
expedition, no longer wanting any comfort from Cade or his FBI clothing.

The
logical part of my brain understood that Cade was not at fault for current
events, but I needed to be angry at someone. My father was M.I.A., so the anger
had to go somewhere.  I curled up in a ball and watched the sun set, its golden
tones mixing with hues of pink, being swallowed by a dark blue abyss. Before
long, the city skyline came into view.  We were entering Detroit, and I
wondered why they’d brought me back to the heart of where it all began.