Family in His Heart (12 page)

His chest clinched. Why had these wild sensations happened in the first place? He’d only wanted a housekeeper. Voices in the house. Food on the stove. Not these intense feelings.

After dinner, Gary had gone to his room, complaining about a sore back and aching arms, and Rona had gone out back. He’d sent her away with the insistence that he’d load the dishwasher. After he’d wiped off the table and poured a final cup of coffee, he walked to the breakfast nook and looked outside.

Nick watched her for a moment and studied her petite figure, the shape of her shoulders appearing when her long strands of shining hair shifted in the breeze. He gazed, amazed for once to be filled with joy and wonder.

He closed his eyes, wishing the vision would vanish because he wasn’t able to pursue anything yet. Rona gave him hope when his hope had been so dim and remembrance when he’d wanted to have nothing to do with memories. All they could do was cloud his judgment.

He’d often complimented Rona on her wise judgment, and he felt certain hers was stronger than his. He couldn’t deal with rejection and he feared that’s what he would get from Rona even though he knew she cared about him.

He’d known once what it had been like to hold a woman in his arms and to love her as only a married couple could. Rona caused him to long to be a family again, to have a wife and a son who smiled. He recalled the good times with Jill, memories for once untainted by sorrow. Recollection that sent new possibilities into his mind.

Reeling with thoughts, he opened the sliding door to the patio and stepped outside. Rona had settled at the end of the picnic table where the sunlight lingered the longest. As he approached, she glanced over her shoulder and smiled.

Nick pushed aside his pondering and settled beside her on the bench, sipping his coffee and listening to the muted sounds from the lake, the caw of a bird and the beating of his heart.

“Are you okay?” she asked, breaking the silence.

He slipped his hand over hers and brushed his fingers across her skin. “I’m fine. Kitchen’s clean.”

She chuckled. “Thanks for the break. Any sounds from Gary?”

“No. I can hear the thud of bass on his CD player but that’s about it.”

She shifted to face him. “You’ve seemed concerned all evening. If it’s the kiss, I’m as guilty as you are and I know it meant nothing. It came out of the emotion of the moment.”

Meant nothing.
His heart screamed. Yet how could he respond?

“I didn’t stop you, Nick. I could have, but I didn’t.”

“It meant something, don’t say it didn’t. And, yes it came out of emotion—feelings I have for you, but I need to respect you. You keep reminding me we’ve only known each other for a short time. To me it’s a lifetime.”

She released a sigh. “Me, too.”

They fell quiet again, but inside he was far from quiet. He felt the Lord prodding him, pushing him. He resisted until he couldn’t any longer.

“Did you like Pastor Al?”

She turned her gaze to his. “I don’t know him, but he seems nice. Very caring and kind.”

“He is.” His feet shuffled beneath the bench, fighting the words on his lips.

She tilted her head, her face tender with understanding. “You want to ask me to go to church with you.”

“How did you know?”

She lifted her shoulders. “I’ve sensed it as a problem.”

“Is it a problem, Rona? I’d hoped—”

She ran her fingers through her hair, pushing it from her face. “The Lord has been driving me up a wall lately.”

He felt his eyes widen. “What?”

“I fought God for so long and I give up.” She lifted her hands heavenward. “He wins.”

Her look melted his heart. “He wins?”

“I’ll go to church with you tomorrow.”

He heard resignation in her voice, but that didn’t matter. The Holy Spirit had His way and when He was determined, He succeeded. “That makes me so happy.”

“I’m relieved.” She shook her head. “You’ve been an amazing example to me and I realized the other day that God didn’t fail me as much as I failed Him.”

He wove his fingers through hers. “You can say God won, Rona, but you know what?”

She lifted her brows.

“You won even more. Repentance is a beautiful thing. So are you.” He looked over his shoulder. “I’d love to kiss you right now, but Gary might be watching.”

Rona slipped her fingers from his. “Then we’d better be careful with this, too, don’t you think?”

He didn’t want to stop, but once again, Rona’s wise thinking won out.

M
onday afternoon, Rona folded laundry while the praise music from yesterday’s service filled her head. When she first walked through the church doors, she felt like a stranger, but once she’d settled into her seat, listened to the voices lifting in song, heard the prayers and the Word of God, she felt as if she’d just opened a box that she’d put away for years and found a wonderful gift inside.

How could so many months—years—of anger at God dissipate as swiftly as the morning dew? Yet what hadn’t left her was the sense of being a sinner. She’d turned her back on God and He’d clung to her with His strong cord, allowing her to make stupid decisions and to rail Him for what He hadn’t done for her while she did nothing for Him.

Nick had gazed at her numerous times during the service, hoping, she knew, that she would open her heart.

Today she could still hear their conversation from their trip home from church.

“How did it go?”

“Good,” she’d said. “It’s like coming home. Sort of the prodigal son returning to his father, except I returned to my heavenly Father, but I still have a price to pay. I’m such a sinner.”

He had slipped his hand over hers. “Rona, we’re all sinners. Every one of us. Didn’t you listen to the readings?”

She told him she had. Still, the readings hadn’t referred to her sins. Her sins seemed far worse than those of the everyday Christian. She’d been gone too long.

“You heard the verse in Psalms. You are blessed because you have not lied, but told God the truth about your sin. You’ve repented and God doesn’t count your sins against you. You are sinless in His sight.”

Though he made sense and she had heard Pastor Al’s reading, she had one major problem. “I guess I’m not sinless in my own eyes.”

“Forgive yourself, Rona. Hand over the burden. Jesus has offered to carry it.” He released the steering wheel with one hand and nestled her shoulder against his. “It takes time. Don’t chastise yourself.”

The words echoed in her memory as she folded the last pair of jeans and laid them on the pile. She drew in a breath. Nick was right, and from now on she needed to cling to the Lord rather than push Him away.

She grinned to herself. It hadn’t done any good trying to break loose before. The Holy Spirit had a hold on her and hadn’t planned to let go. “Thank You, Lord,” she whispered.

Hoisting the pile of laundry, Rona headed to the staircase. She’d heard Gary arrive when she was eating lunch in her apartment. He hadn’t shown his face since and she wondered if he’d eaten.

Rona stopped in Nick’s bedroom and dropped off what she hoped were his clothes. Gary was more slender, so she calculated she had sorted them right. Then she took the stairs to the second floor and stopped outside Gary’s door.

Inside, she thought she heard voices. A radio, maybe. She waited a minute before tapping on the door. “Gary, I have your laundry.”

A scuffle noise came from inside.

“Gary?” Her heart thumped with concern. “Are you alright?”

“Leave it outside.” His muffled voice came through the door.

With her pulse racing, she tried to make sense out of what she heard. “Open the door. I’m not putting clean clothes on the floor.”

More noise and shuffling.

“Gary. Please open the door.”

Finally the door inched open, and he reached out for the laundry, but before Gary could shut the door again, Rona caught her breath, her heart sinking. A pair of women’s shoes laid at the side of his bed.

She grasped the knob. “You have someone in there.”

His look stabbed her. “It’s none of your business.”

She felt a shudder down her back. “I’m sorry, but it is. I’m in charge when your father’s not here. In fact, he’s going to be late tonight so you’re stuck with me all evening.”

“Great.” Daggers shot from his eyes.

Rona studied the feminine shoes. “Amy?”

With her hair disheveled and her clothes in disarray, Amy stepped from behind the door, her face the color of mottled pink fabric.

“Amy, you and Gary will have to leave the room.”

Gary shifted her aside and strode in front of her. “This is my room, and I can do—”

“Gary, you owe your father the respect to behave in the house he shares with you. He loves you and he’s asked me to take over when he’s gone. I’m just doing my job.”

“Loves me? I don’t think so.”

“He loves you, but you’ll have to learn that for yourself—if you give him a chance.”

He dug his fists into his pockets. “I suppose you’ll be on the phone in two minutes to report in.”

Her chest tightened with her flash decision. “I’ll tell you what. I’ve known about your smoking for a while and I haven’t said a word, because I hoped it would stop. I’m not going to say anything now if you go downstairs. You’re welcome to go outside. I’ll make you lunch. But if I get lip from you, I’ll have to tell him.”

He studied her a moment, his brow knit so tight his eyes were slits. “You won’t say anything? Why?”

“Because I believe in forgiveness.” The words struck her cold. She’d been unforgiving so many times in her life, unforgiving of her father and her brother. Could she ever forgive Don?

“I don’t get you.” He tilted his head while Amy clung to him, clutching the top of her blouse that had been partially unbuttoned.

“I don’t get me, either, but I like your dad. I think you’ve both struggled with the past far too long.”

His eyebrows raised. “What do you know about my past?”

Why had she mentioned it? A knot twisted in her throat. “Enough. We’ll talk about it another time.” She gestured toward the stairs. “Why don’t you pick up your shoes, Amy, and both of you go downstairs.”

Amy peered at her bare feet and her shoes beside the bed, realizing the telltale evidence that had given her away. She snatched her shoes and fled past Rona toward the staircase.

Rona kept her eyes focused on Gary. “What do you say?”

“Fine,” he said, dropping his laundry on the end of the bed, then straightening his knit shirt and strutting past her.

Rona stood a moment, overwhelmed by what had happened. She’d promised not to tell Nick and now she felt it had been a mistake. She didn’t want to be a patsy for Gary. He needed to know she wasn’t going to tolerate bad behavior just to protect him from his father, but she wanted so badly for their relationship to be repaired. They both had love to give and that’s what she wanted to see.

She closed her eyes.
You can do it, Lord.
A strange release rolled over her as she turned toward the staircase.

Nick looked at the sun overhead, grateful he’d decided to take a break from his busy schedule. He missed spending time at home and he had concerns about Rona. She looked stressed and though she hadn’t made any comments about Gary, he wondered.

He steered the boat past Long Island, watching his boathouse grow larger as he closed the distance. He wanted to do something special tonight or if not tonight, then soon. Rona had worked hard and though he’d told her to take her days off, she had nothing to do and stayed at the house, always making dinner or surprising him with baked goods.

He patted his paunch, knowing he’d have to watch the calories if Rona insisted on plying him with sweets. Sweets. Her sweetness nuzzled against his heart. He’d longed to kiss her again, but he’d stopped himself, fearing Gary would see and not understand or he’d frighten Rona by moving too fast.

His spirit had soared since she’d agreed to go to church and, though he saw no difference in her behavior—she’d always been a Christian at heart—he felt the strain had lifted. She seemed happier, except for those dark moments that clouded her eyes. He’d avoided asking. He had a bad habit of pushing too hard.

The warm wind sneaked into the boat cabin and the warm sun beat against his arms. They could go swimming or picnic on Government Island. Something. He hadn’t done enough with Gary, though he’d noticed a different look in his eyes. His son had studied him at times, as if trying to figure him out or to find the courage to talk. Nick didn’t know which. No matter. He prayed it was an improvement.

He nosed the boat between the docks, tied it, then picked up the bouquet of flowers he’d purchased and headed inside. When Nick opened the door, he smelled the clean scent and knew Rona had been at work.

Nick strode through the foyer, veered past the family room and glanced into the kitchen. Disappointed that Rona wasn’t there, he lay the flowers on the kitchen counter and retraced his steps to enter his bedroom.

When he stepped into the room’s sitting area, he saw another stack of laundry on the end of his neatly made bed. Rona. His heart sang with the joy of her in the house. She brought sunshine and life. He slipped out of his clothes, stepped into walking shorts and pulled on a polo shirt.

After he tucked his feet into a pair of moccasins, he returned to the kitchen, found a large pitcher and filled it with water. He had no idea where a vase was, but this would do. He settled the flowers into the pitcher and set it on the table in the breakfast nook. When he pulled back, he saw Rona in the backyard.

An unexpected jolt of happiness shot through him, and he slid open the French door and stepped onto the patio. When he slid it closed, she looked up.

“What are you doing home?” She rose from her knees, a trowel in her hand, and waited.

Nick saw the trays of flowers at her feet, then realized she’d planted them around the patio and had another bed in a sunny spot not too far from the picnic table. “Looks great. Where did you get those?”

She grinned. “In town. I wanted to surprise you.”

And she had. He compared his single bouquet sitting inside with the live flowers she’d purchased and planted. “What can I say?”

“Nothing.” She stepped toward him. “It’s nice to see you.”

Her smile made him weak. What could he do? He glanced back at the house. “Is Gary home yet?”

“No. He got a call from the pastor this morning. The youth are doing yard work at senior citizens’ houses today, so he agreed to go until he goes to work. He’s on the late shift.”

His joy shrank, realizing Rona knew more about Gary than he did. “Are you two getting along?”

“We have an understanding.”

He wondered what that meant, but again, he let it drop. “Can I help?” He motioned to the flowers.

“No, I’m nearly finished and you’re in clean clothes.”

He glanced at the shorts, realizing she’d just washed them. “Then I’ll bring you out a ginger ale. How’s that?”

She nodded and he headed inside, trying to decide what he could do to say thank-you. He grabbed two drinks from the refrigerator and a bag of potato chips, then returned to the yard and sat on the picnic bench and watched her.

The sunlight still brightened the yard and shined on Rona’s hair like a flame, highlighting her honey-colored waves with flashes of pale copper. She’d tanned the past week and her skin looked healthy and glowing. He managed to stay on the bench and not pull her into his arms.

Finally Rona set the trowel in the plastic tray along with her garden gloves, which had a flowery design. She ambled to his side. “Thanks for the drink.” She settled on the bench and gazed at her handiwork.

“It looks nice. Thanks so much.”

She gave him a crooked smile. “I thought it was about time the place had a woman’s touch.”

His heart burst with longing. He needed a woman’s influence. Though he wanted to speak, to tell her so much, he managed to hold it in. It was better that way.

She swallowed a long drink of the ginger ale, then set down the can and swiveled toward him. “How long have you lived on Marquette?”

“About nine years, since my dad died. I lived in a smaller place on Drummond.”

She tilted her head and her hair brushed across her shoulder, leaving him speechless again. “And now you own both.”

It wasn’t a question, but he nodded and gained his senses. “Marquette is difficult in the winter. My parents usually went to Arizona when the ice began to freeze. They had a condo near Tucson.”

Her back straightened. “I was thinking about that today. What do you do in the winter?”

“We live on Drummond. They keep the ferry running in the winter. It just makes Gary’s school more difficult. You know, a longer ride.”

A frown settled again on her face. “What happens to me when you move back?”

“I have a comfortable cabin there, too. Angie liked it.”

“Angie?” Surprise filled her eyes followed by a frown.

“My previous housekeeper.”

Her scowl lessened. “She quit?”

“Moved. To St. Ignace.”

She looked back toward the trays and Nick knew she was ready to clean up the gardening mess. Rona didn’t leave things undone. He’d learned that quickly enough. Just like a wife. Wife. The word fluttered in his chest. “Would you like to see the house and cabin?”

Her brow knit again. “You mean on Drummond?”

“Sure. Why not? It’s early. We’ll stop for dinner in Cedarville on the way back. Ang-Gio’s has great food.”

She studied him a moment, then stood up.