Fantasy Attraction (Hidden Secrets) (26 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

~COLLEEN~

I sat on the floor waiting for him to leave.  When he stopped at the bathroom door and whispered he loved me, my heart broke.  I didn’t want him to see me break down. If he saw me weak, if he saw me broken…I just couldn’t have him see me like that.  I turned on the shower and stripped my clothes before stepping into the warm shower. Standing there a minute before reaching for the shower stereo and turned on the one song that I sang when I was low.  ‘
I will be
’ by Christina Aguilera.  It filled the speakers and that was all it took for me to break. Dropping to the floor I cried.  I cried for the pain I was in, for my past, for everything.  My heart ached and I just had to let it all out.

Suddenly I
felt arms lift me and pulling me up and into the warmth and loving embrace. He said nothing.  He just held me.  Slowly his warmth pushed away the coldness and I started to pull myself together.

Smoothing back my hair, he cupped my face and looked down into my eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it.

“I’m sorry, Carson. I wasn’t trying to push you away.  It was just that I didn’t want you to see me broken.  You deserve someone strong not crying all the time.  I don’t know what has gotten into me.”

“Baby, you are so damn strong,” he whispered as he kissed my forehead. “So damn strong and stubborn…I love you so much.  There is nothing that will stop me from that.  Nothing,
Angel.  I’m here for you for the up’s and down’s and everything in between.” He said kissing me lightly on the lips.

“Thank you.  Thank you so much for being so wonderful.”

He held me for a few minutes longer before telling me that Jackson was sitting out in the living room waiting to talk to me.  We showered and got out and dressed, then made our way out to the living room.  When Jackson looked up at me, he was out of his seat and over to me in a split second.

“Jesus! What the hell happened to you?”

“I’m fine, really.  I just sparred with Tommy today and he didn’t take it easy on me.” I laughed.

“You what?! And you let this happen?” He yelled at Carson.

“Hey, I tried to stop it.  She wouldn’t listen to me.  He got a few hits in, but she won.” Carson beamed with pride.

“Fuck! You two are too much alike it’s scary.  Neither of you think before you do something.  Do you know how stupid that was?  No you don’
t but you will because I came over here to tell you.” Jackson ranted.

“
Well, tell me.  What did you need to speak to me about?  Did you get the blood tests back?”

“
Yeah, I did.”

“Jesus! Will you just tell us what is going on?  Quit being a dick.” Carson snapped.

“Colleen, you’re pregnant.  I stopped by a friend of mine’s to get his ultrasound machine.  If you allow I can put you on video chat so he can see the image and tell us exactly what we’re looking at.  I’m a plastic surgeon not an OB-GYN.”

“Pregnant?” Carson breathed.

My heart skipped a beat. I was thrilled.  A slow smile crept across my face and all my past worries were forgotten.  That was until I turned and saw the look on Carson’s face.  He stood there frozen, wide eyed and pale.  My heart broke.  Was I back where I started?  Was he not going to want the baby or me now and kick me out?

“Carson,” I asked my voice shaking.

He said nothing, just stared straight ahead and kept repeating ‘pregnant’ over and over again.  I turned to Jackson and forced a smile. “How far along am I?”

“According to the blood work around ten to eleven weeks or so, we’d be able to tell better with the ultrasound machine.”

I nodded my head.  Glancing at Carson, he stood there still frozen in spot.  I dropped my head down and my heart broke even more.  I fought back the tears that badly wanted to fall.

“Thanks Jackson for everything. Um, I’ll get in and see a doctor soon.  I promise.” I kissed him on the cheek and look back at Carson one last time, but he still hadn’t moved.

I walked to the bedroom and shut the door.  Leaning against the door, I let the tears fall.  He doesn’t want kids or maybe it’s just kids with me.  Either way he wasn’t happy about this. After a few minutes, I pushed off the door and knew it was time to pack my things and head home. Walking into the walk-in closet, I looked at our things mixed together.  My mind was immediately transported back to a time in this closet that I will never forget.

“Come here,” he
said, pulling me in the direction of the closet. “I want to show you something.”

He had the biggest smile on his face and acting almost boyish like.  It made me laugh.  What could be so important that he was this excited about? He let go of my hands and held each knob of the closet doors and grinned over his shoulder.

“Will you just show me already?” I laughed.

“Okay,” he
says, pulling open the doors.

Walking inside the closet, I couldn’t believe the transformation.  The closet was huge, but was so wide open and pretty much empty. Now, there was an island in the center that looked to be a dresser of some sort.  There was a bench on one side with mirrors along the end wall
behind to the bench.  There was now a shoe rack of sorts on the opposite wall and clothes hung on all the railings.  When I turned around and faced the other railing that’s when I realized that my clothing was in there.

“You…what…Carson,” I breathed.

Nothing was coming out.  There were a million and one thoughts and sentences running through my head, but nothing was coming out of my mouth.  I was shocked.  I had been here for a week now after getting away from Lenny’s clutches.  I kept wondering if I was overstaying my welcome.  Was he trying to tell me to move in?

“I know that we haven’t been together long,
Angel.  Frankly, I don’t care.  I love you and don’t think that I could fall asleep without you in my arms.  I want you to move in with me.  Share my space with me.  Please.”

I could see the nervousness on his face.  He was never one to be timid or nervous, but it seemed everything with me has made him nervous one way or another.  Carson just always seemed to be unsure when it came to me.  Maybe it was because of how we started?  I kept running away.  I freaked out when he said he loved me.

“When did you do this?” I asked.

“While you were gone.  I was going out of mind and this helped me keep my mind off the amount of time you were gone. Are you angry?”

“Angry?  Why would I be angry?  It’s your house. You can do whatever you want with it.”

“That’s just it though,
Angel.  I want this to be your house too.  Will you move in with me?”

Looking around the room again, I could feel his anxiousness just pouring off him. This was cruel of me, but it was a big step and thinking about it wasn’t abnormal in this kind of situation.  I have never lived with anyone in my life.  Now here I am, in love and he wants me to move in.  What’s next marriage and kids?  Not that kids would be a bad thing or marriage, but what if he didn’t want it?  Could he
possibly want all that with me?  Can I risk my roof for love?

Turning back around to face Carson, “Yes,” I whispered.

In three steps, he was in front of me.  He brought his hands up and brushed the hair away from my face and hooked it behind my ears before cupping my face smiling.  His eyes burned into mine and honestly, I wanted to know what he was thinking.  My thoughts were answered when his mouth crashed into mine.  His tongue entered my mouth and began the dance with mine.  The minute our tongues touched, desire filled my veins and a moan escaped me.

Carson walked us backwards until my back bumped into the island.  Reaching
down, he pulled my shirt over my head, leaving me naked in front of him.  Grabbing my hips, he lifted me up and sat me on the island. He leaned forward and kissed me passionately.  My hand roamed down his naked back to the waistband of his pajama pants. Slipping my hands in the back of his pants, I squeezed his ass before running my hands back up his back and tangling my hands in his hair.

His lips broke free from mine and
ran a heated trail across my jaw and down my neck.  Moving down my chest, he teased one nipple and then the other into a hardened peak before gently biting and sucking on them.  My back arched pushing my breast further into his mouth.  Slowly he had me lean backwards as he trailed kisses down my stomach down to my core.  He moved past where I wanted him the most, to trail kisses on the inside of my leg before raising my leg over his shoulder and moving back down my other leg to my core.  His tongue slowly began to circle my clit and my back arched off the island at the contact his tongue made.

Moving my hands up to my breasts, I began to play with my nipples.  I moaned loudly as he inserted one finger moving it in and out
slowly, then inserting a second finger. His tongue puts a little more pressure on my clit as his finger thrust in and out of me.  He hooked his fingers just so hitting that spot that caused my back to come off the island again.

I moved my hands down to tangle in his hair and hold him in just the right spot.  His fingers moved faster and my hips met each thrust of his fingers. I could feel the build beginning.  First it started out like a tingling sensation, but changed into a warmth before turning into an explosion of
fireworks and colors.  My back came off the island again and I screamed out his name.  His fingers moved quickly and his tongue pressed firmer on my clit as I rode out my orgasm.

Coming down from my climax, Carson lif
ted me off the island and carried me over to the bench.  Laying me down on my back, I watch as he strips off his pajama bottoms and kicks them aside and I’m greeted with a view that could make me go off again.  He was rock hard and ready for me.  Kissing his way up, he crawled between my legs before taking my mouth with his.  The kiss was tender and he slowly slid his rock hard length inside me.

“Ah, yes,” I moaned.

“Oh Angel,” he breathed before taking my mouth with his again.

His thrusts were slow and deep and it was driving me wild.  The kiss was passionate and
hungry.  He leaned up on his knees and lifted my hips up to where they were not resting on the bench at all.  Thrusting faster and harder, he reached down and tweaked my nipples with his fingers causing me to cry out in pleasure.

“Oh
baby, I love making love to you.”

“Carson faster please.”

He smiled down at me before turning his hips just so that he rubbed perfectly against my clit. I throw my head back and moan loudly.

“Yes, baby let me hear you,” he panted.

He pulled me up and sat down on the bench and I began to ride him.  I was glad for this.  He was driving me insane with these slow and steady movements. I began to move up slowly and then slam down on him grinding my hips into him. Repeating this over and over again until he shifted our positions again.  My hands resting on the bench and bent at the waist, he smacked my ass before grabbing my hips and slamming into me.

“Ah!”

“Fuck!” He moaned as he ran his hand down my back and to my breast massaging it before tangling in my hair and pulling back.

He began to move again and I pushed back against him welcoming the hard and fast thrusts.

“Yes, Carson. Fuck me…Fuck me harder.” I panted.

“Shit,” he breathed as he picked up his movements.

Pulling my hair tighter, he moved deeper into me and I moaned.  Sex with Carson was never dull or monotonous. Lifting one of his legs onto the bench, he let go of my hair to grab my hips, his movements become more erratic as he pounds into me harder and faster. Tossing my hair over my back, I moved one of my hands down and began to circle my clit. I could feel the heat spread throughout my body as the tingling started.

“Oh shit that’s so hot watching you play with yourself as I make love to you,” he
breathes.

“Fuck! Carson!” I yelled as my orgasm hit.

“Shit! Ah Angel!” He roars as he follows me over the ledge.

Resting his head on my back for a moment, he pulls out of me an
d carries me out to the bed. Cuddling next to me, he pulls the covers over us.

“I have a feeling we are going to be
really happy here,” he whispers as he kisses my head.

“Mmm, and exhausted,” I mumble.

He laughs and we fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

A tear trickles down my face and lands on my arm. I move into the closet and start to pull down my clothes from the closet, my heart shattering in my chest.
I knew happiness was not meant for me and yet I foolishly let myself believe it was.  No matter what, I will never forget Carson or even stop loving him.  He changed me, but now our time was done. I swear I could hear the sound of my heart falling to pieces and gut wrenching sobs started to escape.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

~CARSON~

My mind was blank.  Did my brother just tell me we were going to have a baby?  Me and my Angel were going to be parents? I could hear voices, but nothing was registering.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want kids, but with all that has happened, a pregnancy was the last thing I expected to be told right now.

Holy Shit! She just fought Tommy in the ring!

What if our baby was hurt today because we didn’t know she was pregnant? Wow! I’m going to be a dad.  Slowly the shock starts to wear off and a smile spreads across my face.  I’m going to be a dad.  Colleen is going to have my baby.  This was the best news ever!

A pain hits me in
my stomach and the breath leaving my lungs is what brought me back to reality.  I look up at my brother who has an irate look on his face.
What did I do?

“Dude, what the fuck!” I choked out.

“If you don’t stop being a fucking asshat right now you’re going to get more than that.” He bellowed.

“What are you talking about?”  It was that moment that I noticed that Colleen was not out there with us. “Where’s Colleen?”

“You completely shut off, Curry.  She was about in tears telling me she’d figure out a doctor and walked into the room. I peeked in on her and she was standing in the closet staring off into space with tears falling.  Dude, I think she’s leaving you because you’re an asshole.  You better fix this and NOW!”

He didn’t even have to finish what he was
saying; I was already running into the bedroom and straight into the closet. Sure enough, there she was pulling her clothes down and folding them up.

I hurried over to her and grabbed her hands. “Colleen
, forgive me Angel.  I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay Carson.  I will just get out of the way.  I understand you don’t want kids or you don’t want them with me…”

“No,” I said, putting my finger over her mouth to stop her from talking. “I want kids and I want them with you more than anything.  It was just a shock more than anything and then I got to thinking about you fighting today and it scared me.  Baby, I want kids I just didn’t think it would happen like this.” Smiling at her with tears in my eyes, I put my hand to her belly, “We’re going to be parents.” I dropped down to my knees and kissed her stomach. “I can’t wait to see him or her,” I said looking up at her.

She had tears in her eyes and my heart broke.  I hurt her and I didn’t know how to make it up to her.
Moreover, if I could make it up to her.  For the first time in my life, I screwed up big time and I worried there was no fixing it.

Rising back up to my feet, I crouched down to look her in the eyes.  What I saw in
them, I wasn’t prepared for.  They were empty.  The eyes that have shown with love and happiness every time she looked at me were now empty and cold. Suddenly I felt sick to my stomach.

“
Angel?  Please talk to me.” I pleaded.

She just turned her head and continued to pull clothes from the hangers.  My heart was beating so fast I thought I might suffer a heart attack. She was leaving me.  Oh God, I lost her. No, no I can’t lose her.  Not because I was shocked by becoming a father.

“I’m not letting you leave,” I mumbled.

“What?” She
asked, shocked, her empty eyes flaring with anger. “You’re not letting me?”

“No, I’m not.  I love you, Colleen Austin.  You are not walking out on me and tearing our family in two.  If you leave
, you take both my heart and world with you.” I state, looking her straight in the eyes.

“Why fight this Carson?  You’re getting what you want,” she whispered.

“How am I when you’re walking away?  Look, I know my reaction to hearing we were going to be parents was not the best, but I swear to you with all my heart that I am so damn happy about this. It was just shocking.  Just not long ago, I thought this moment would be only a dream. Now not only have I found the love of my life, but I am going to be a father too. Angel, my life is nothing without you, but anger and guilt.  You are my everything.  Please believe me,” I said, reaching out and putting my hand on her belly. “I am beyond words happy about you carrying my baby.”

“Carson, I can’t…” she started, but I cut her off by kissing her with all the love I felt for her.

Breaking the kiss, I rested my forehead against hers.  For a while nothing was said, I just held her face as I waited for some kind of sign that she was still in this with me.  Waiting for a sign that I hadn’t lost her yet, anything.

“
Angel, please.” It wasn’t until I saw her blink that I realized tears still swam in my eyes.  “Please don’t leave.” I pleaded in a whisper. “Please.”

My heart has stopped in my chest when her eyes meet mine.  Her face was unreadable. My heart was breaking.  She was my world and slowly I fe
lt it slipping away.

“I can’t be the reason you regret your life Carson.  Just let me go.  We need some space.” She said before grabbing the clothes she had pulled down and headed out of the closet.

Running after her was my only option.  I couldn’t let her walk away.  There was no way I was losing her.  She was in the kitchen before I jumped in front of the door blocking her exit.  Dropping down on my knees, I begged with all my might. One tear and then another fell down my cheeks as I stared up at her. 

How did this get so bad so fast?

Just as I finished my speech, Jacks walked into the kitchen and put his hand on my shoulder and moved me out of the way.  He looked at Colleen.

“Do you remember the conversation we had when you were still at Kayla’s recovering from your attack?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Do you remember what I told you had happened?”

Tears fell down her cheeks. “Yes,” she nodded.

“Please think about what you are doing and don’t let a moment of shock take it away before you can take it back.” He said sadly.

I watched as she stared at Jacks tears still falling from her eyes before she turned and looked at me. “You hurt me, Carson.  You know what happened to me the last time I was pregnant and you acted like you didn’t want this baby.  I thought I was starting all over again.”

“
God, no baby,” I breathed, moving toward her. “It wasn’t a bad shock.  I was just amazed how my life was coming together for the first time.  Baby, I want everything with you and only you.  No one else, just you.  Please forgive me and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

She reached up and touched my face with her hand and I leaned into her touch. “I forgive you, if you can forgive me for not having more faith in you…in us?”

Instead of answering her with words, I pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her and kissing her with everything I had.  She wrapped her arms around my neck as I lifted her up and wrapped her legs around my waist.

My brother clearing his throat brought me back to the fact that he was still there.  Breaking from the kiss, I looked into her eyes
and smiled. “I love you.”

“And I
you,” she whispered before placing a soft kiss to my lips.

“If you two are done.  Would you like for me to attempt to do an ultrasound or not?”

“Can you get the OB here?  I’ll pay of course.”

“Let me see what I can do.”

After a few minutes, he came back into the room. “He said he’ll be here by five. Um, can I still stay here to see it?  After all, this is my first niece or nephew and I have done a lot for you guys.”

“You can stop playing your cards, Jackson.  Of course you can stay.” Colleen smiled at Jackson.

“Yes!” Jackson cheered.  “When you are going to tell the others?”

“Not yet.  Just let us enjoy this moment just us for a little bit
… Please.”

“Of course brother. I wouldn’t steal your t
hunder ever. But I need to go run a few errands.  I’ll be back in about an hour or so.  That cool?”

“Yup.”

“Sure.”

Jackson smiled, but said nothing.  He turned and left and the minute the door shut I claimed Colleen’s mouth again. Picking her up, I hurried us to the bedroom never breaking our kiss. Quickly undressing each other, I climbed over her.  Taking her mouth in a slow and tender kiss, I slowly entered her. I wasn’t rushing anything.  Rocking my hips into her, I made love
to her slowly.  She wrapped her legs around mine and met me thrust for thrust.  Her muffled moans filling my mouth and senses.

“I love you…I love you,”
I panted as I continued to rock into her.

Her nails started to dig into my back and she started to arch beneath me. “I love…you,” she breathed right before she called out my name.  I followed right behind her.

We lay there in each other’s arms and I felt whole once again.  Having her almost walk away from me was enough for me to know where this was going and I was going to make sure it happened.  Maybe while I was out of town at this fight I could get everything and come back to surprise her.  Yes, that would be perfect.  I smiled, knowing what I was doing and hoping it will all play out as I have planned in my head.

Soon we moved to the shower and cleaned ourselves up and were sitting in the living room when Jackson arrived with the OB.  To say I was nervous was an understatement.  I was terrified that today might have harmed the baby.  Yes, I was still beating myse
lf up for not convincing her not to do it.

We
had everything set up in our room and she lay on the bed and I sat next to her holding her hand.  Jackson stood next to Dr. Hayes.

“Okay Ma’am, I need you to lift your shirt and move your short
s down some.”

He
squirts some blue gel on her belly and pulled a wand out and shifting the gel around and turned toward the monitor.  I watched the screen and was just in awe of what I was seeing. There was a small little thing that seemed to be moving around in there.
My child
.

“You see here,” he points to a blur of ‘movement’ in one little spot. “That’s the arms and legs moving.  You are about ten weeks pregnant.  So in about two weeks or so your morning sickness should pass or lessen quite a bit.  You need to start taking prenatal vitamins as well.”

He was clicking away like crazy moving the camera around and then the most amazing sound in the world filled the air.  The sound of our baby’s heartbeat.  Tears sprang to my eyes and I looked down at Colleen, who had tears in her eyes as well.  Leaning down, I kissed her tenderly whispering how much I loved her.

“So the baby is okay?”  Colleen asked with fear in her voice.

“Yes, everything seems fine and on track.  You will need to be seen regularly.  Jack here tells me you don’t want to go to the clinic. I can continue to do at home services, but my fees are higher for that.”

“Yes, I figured as much.  Tell
me, I’ll pay whatever price.” I stated the obvious.

As Colleen was getting her examine, Jack and I exited and I grabbed my
checkbook to write him a check for his services.

“I can’t quit smiling.” I said after setting the pen down.

“Me either.  I’m going to be a kick-ass uncle.” Jack beamed, but I could see a hint of sadness in his eyes.  “This is going to be one hell of a secret to keep from the family man.”

“I know, but I want to propose first.” I said
absent-mindedly.

“Seriously!” Jacks exclaimed. “When?”

“I’m going to get everything when I’m out for my fight this weekend and do it when I come back.  I’ve been thinking about it for a bit now, but almost losing her today was enough to make me realize that there may not be a tomorrow to do it.”

“Yeah, funny how painful situations make you view things
differently,” He said almost sadly.

“What’s up man?  You don’t seem like yourself.”

“Nah, I’m fine.  Look, I gotta get back to work.  Take care of her dude or I will beat the living shit out of you.  She’s a great girl.”

“I know and I plan on it.”

Colleen came out a short while later and I paid the doctor and he left with Jackson.  I wrapped Colleen in my arms and just held her.  Even if I was biased, I was truly the luckiest man on the whole damn planet.