Fantasyland 03 Fantastical (41 page)

“That’s not very nice,” I whispered, stung,
though I didn’t know why since he wasn’t talking about me and his
eyes narrowed as his head tipped to the side.

“Not very nice?” he asked back, his voice
soft.

“To talk that way,” I explained, “about, um…
me.”

He stared at me through narrowed eyes then
he leaned back an inch. “Well, fuck me,” he murmured. “She’s got
feelings under all that ice.”

“No,” I whispered, “
she
doesn’t, but
I
do.”

His head jerked then he asked, “Come
again?”

I stared at him. Then it came to me.

I had a previous address and a first name,
Clarabelle.

And he was a cop and cops had access to
databases that had all sorts of information.

And it would kill me, being around someone
who looked like Tor and sounded like Tor, but if I could convince
him to help me find Clarabelle, I was going to do it.

The problem was, I had no freaking clue how
to convince him.

“I’m in love with another man,” I said
quietly.

“Well, congratulations,” he replied, his
mouth not quite but almost curling in a sneer.

My mind whirled and then I hit on it, a
tactic that had worked before with my boss Dave.

Soap opera.

“And,” I tried, “you knew Rosa, not Cora.
I’m Cora and Rosa is my twin sister. Identical twins but she’s the
evil twin. She’s a pain in my ass. She was watching my place when I
was –”

“Jesus,” he cut me off, his brows going up,
“seriously?”

I stared at him.

Okay, clearly Noc was not as bubbleheaded as
Dave, my boss, who bought the amnesia story without a peep.

Shit.

“No, that was a lie,” I admitted.

“No shit?” he asked sarcastically.

Shit!

Then I decided to stall in order to come up
with a different strategy so I asked, “Do you want a beer?”

“No, I wanna talk about what you’re gonna do
about our kid,” he answered.

“I think you need a beer,” I told him.

“No, babe, I need to discuss this mess so I
know what I’m dealin’ with. What you gotta get is, I’m a cop. You
have the kid, can’t say that’ll make me happy, but I’ll take care
of
my kid.
What I won’t do is bust my ass payin’ a shitload
of child support so
you
can have fourteen hundred dollar
shoes. And you’ll also have to get off your lazy ass to do
somethin’ other than countin’ cards and goin’ shoppin’ ‘cause my
kid’s Ma is not gonna be doin’ that shit.
None
of it. You
get me?”

Hmm. Seemed he had Cora’s ticket too.

Not good.

“I’m getting you a beer,” I stated and
started to the kitchen.

He caught my arm as I walked by him and I
turned and tipped my head up as he exploded, “Fuck, Cora, I don’t
want a fuckin’ beer!”

That was when I announced, “I’m in love with
a man from an alternate universe. It isn’t your child I’m carrying,
it’s his. He looks exactly like you except he has a scar on his
face…” I turned fully to him, reached up and touched his temple
lightly. His face, I noted distractedly, was frozen with shock but
my eyes moved to my finger against his perfect skin. “Starting
here,” I whispered then curved my finger down his cheekbone, “and
ending here.”

“Fuckin’ shit, you’re insane,” he whispered
back, his eyes, when mine shifted to them, were moving over my
face.

But I didn’t really hear him. I was
transfixed by his face, so like Tor’s, so beloved, but not
Tor’s.

“He’s a warrior,” I whispered. “He has scars
here,” I moved my finger to touch his chest where Tor’s scar was,
“and here,” I kept whispering, touching another place on his chest,
“and… here.” I finished with another touch and tipped my head back
to look from his chest to his eyes. “He has your eyes, he has your
voice and he has half my soul.”

Noc didn’t speak, just looked in my
eyes.

So I kept going.

“I know you think it’s crazy, it sounds
crazy, it
is
crazy, but it’s true. There are two worlds, the
same people in each world. Cora from that world came here, you know
her, not me. I’m not cold, I can’t count cards. I don’t even know
how to play poker. And I’m nice. I make people laugh. They care
about me. When I was there, I met you but the you of there. And I
fell in love with the you of there and I’m having your baby…” I
shook my head, “
His
baby. He was the man your people saw but
I’m guessing they didn’t get a good look at him or they would have
told you he looks exactly like you.”

His head jerked, his gaze grew intense, my
heart leaped and I leaned closer to him.

“They did,” I whispered. “They said he
looked exactly like you.”

“They thought he
was
me,” Noc
replied, his voice quiet.

“Did they get video? Pictures?” I asked
hopefully because if I never made it back to Tor, at least maybe I
could convince Noc to give me the pictures.

“Only of the back of his head,” Noc
answered, I closed my eyes and leaned back an inch. “Babe,” he
called and I opened my eyes. When I did he said not a word, just
stared into my eyes then his gaze moved over my face before it came
back to me. “Jesus, fuck,” he murmured, “you believe this
shit.”

“Only because it’s true,” I replied then I
asked softly, “Standing here talking to you, am I anything at all
like her? And looking around my place, is it anything at all like
it was when she was here?”

His jaw clenched and he didn’t even bother
looking at my tidy apartment.

This was my answer. It wasn’t and
I
wasn’t.

“At birth, in his world, half of his soul
was separated from him and put in me. Now that we’ve met, our souls
united so when he was pulled away, our souls were torn apart,” I
explained. “You won’t ever be able to understand it, and I’m glad
of that, but let me just say that the pain of having the other half
of your soul ripped away doesn’t feel all that nice as in…” I
leaned in again and my voice carried the ache I felt inside when I
finished, “
at all.
”

He heard it, he may have even felt it and I
knew that because it made him flinch.

Then he lifted his hand, curled it around my
neck and whispered, “Cora.”

I closed my eyes again and dropped my head.
His touch, so strong, so warm… but not Tor’s. His voice saying my
name, so deep, so rough, the same… but not Tor’s.

God, it fucking
hurt.

His other hand came up; he caught me under
my chin and gently pulled my head back up.

I opened my eyes and searched his face.

Then I stated, “You don’t believe me.”

“I believe
you
believe you.”

I nodded and tried to move away but his hand
at my neck held tighter and I stopped.

“Babe,” he said gently, so gently that that
one word and the way he said it proved… yes, he was sweet, probably
very
sweet, “you gotta get help.”

“I know,” I answered with feeling because I
knew I did, I just couldn’t find her.

His hand left my chin and dropped so his arm
could curve around my waist and pull me closer as he kept talking
gently. “You got my kid inside you, baby, we gotta get your head
sorted. After we do that, we sort out other shit, yeah?”

I sucked in breath.

He thought I was mental.

This was not going my way.

That was when I decided to bargain.

“All right, Noc. I’ll make you a deal. I
know someone who can get me back to Tor’s world,” I told him.

“Tor?”

“The other you.”

His eyes flashed. “You called me that –”

“I know, the other week, when I got back and
the other Cora left. Anyway, I promise to go…” I hesitated before
saying, “
see
someone if you help me find the person that can
help me get back to Tor. If she doesn’t help me, then I’ll go to
someone else to help me, someone
you
pick.”

“Babe –”

“It can’t hurt and it won’t take much. I
have a first name and an address of where she used to live. If you
can track her down –” I stopped speaking when his face started to
get hard.

“Cora, I can’t use department resources to
track some random woman down. That shit isn’t right.”

“And sleeping with someone you’re
investigating is? You rolled with that, Noc, I get it but you kept
rolling with it so much your clothes were in my closet.” I returned
and scored a point, I knew it when his eyes flashed again.

Still, he said, “Babe, I was undercover.
Shit happens.”

Damn. He was right and I was getting
desperate.

I tried something new. “Okay, and the shit
that happened is that you think you got me pregnant. That means you
think we’re connected. And that means, as the woman who you think
is carrying your child, you being a cop and all, one of the good
guys, you have to help me. Just look her up, you find her, you give
me her address, I’ll go to her.”

“I’m not gonna provide you with an address
so you can visit someone who’s probably a whack job.”

“She’s not a whack job,” I returned though I
couldn’t know that for sure, maybe she was, but I couldn’t worry
about that now. “She can help.”

“Babe, you got my kid inside you and this
woman who might be a whack job also might be dangerous.”

“I don’t have your kid inside me, Noc.”

His hand tightened on my neck. “Cora, you
do.
”

“Noc, I
don’t,
” I retorted. “But
okay, you think I do, then
you
can go with me to see
Clarabelle.”

“Clarabelle?”

“The lady I have to see.”

“Cora –”

I lost patience, my hands lifted, I grabbed
his shirt and fisted it in my fingers.

“All you have to do is look her up!” I
cried. “That’s it. Look her up, take me to her if you find her and
if it doesn’t work then I’ll do whatever you want me to do
except,
” I said sharply when he opened his mouth to speak,
“get an abortion. If I can’t get back to Tor and I live through
this pain, I’m keeping his baby.”

“Jesus,” he muttered.

I twisted my fists in his shirt, got up on
tiptoe and begged, “
Please.
”

Noc stared down at me and he did this for
awhile as my heart beat hard in my chest.

Then he ordered, “Get your shoes.”

My head jerked. “What?”

“Babe, get your shoes. You’re comin’ to the
Station with me. The state you’re in, you aren’t outta my
sight.”

I leaned back and his arm got tighter, his
hand at my neck moving so his other arm could close around me but
it did this up my back.

“Why are you taking me to the Station?” I
asked suspiciously.

“So we can look up this Clarabelle woman, I
can take you to her then whatever you think is gonna go down is
not
gonna go down and then I can get you some
real
help.”

Holy crap!

He was going to help me!

Hurrah!

I felt the pain shift, it lightened and I
smiled at him the second before I let his shirt go and threw my
arms around his wide shoulders.

“Thank you,” I whispered into his neck.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he muttered but after a
second, his arms gave me a squeeze.

Yep, totally a sweet guy.

Maybe, before I left this world, I should
hook him up with Phoebe.

Um… no. That might be too weird.

Then again, I’d never feel it was weird
because I’d be in my world with my Tor.

My Tor.

I’m coming home, baby,
I sent my hope
into the universe.

Then I pulled out of Noc’s arms, gave him
another bright smile and ran to get my shoes.

Crash into Me Part Two

“I cannot believe this!” Phoebe shouted in
my ear.

I watched the headlights of Noc’s SUV on the
wet, winding coastal road, their light barely cutting through the
dark night, the wispy fog and the drizzling mist and replied,
“Believe it and hurry. I’ve already called Mom and Dad. They’re on
their way.”

“I’m already out the door,” she told me then
asked, “He’s with you right now?”

My head turned to the left and I saw Noc’s
profile in the dashboard lights.

I looked forward again, “Yep.”

“Holy shit. Is it weird? Are you okay?”

“Totally and totally not.”

“Oh honey,” she whispered.

I loved my friend, I really loved her and
her sweet understanding was one of the reasons I loved her but she
had to get a freaking move on.

Therefore I cried loudly and bossily, “Would
you quit talking and get your ass out here? I’ll be all right but
I’m not going to Tor’s world without telling you good-bye so you
have to hurry!”

“Right, I’m turning the key in the ignition
now. I’ll be there in a jiffy.”

“Phoebe, it’s an hour away. Be safe. It’s
drizzling, there’s fog and the roads are slick,” I warned.

“Right.”

My voice dropped. “But hurry, honey. I don’t
want to miss saying good-bye.”

“I’ll hurry,” she said back. “See you soon,
babe.”

“Later, babe.”

“Later.”

I flipped my phone shut.

Getting you up-to-date, obviously Noc had
found Clarabelle. After two weeks of searching he found her in ten
minutes. When he told me he’d found her, I shouted, “Hurrah!”,
threw myself in his arms and kissed his cheek right in front of all
his colleagues but I didn’t care.

He found her. He
found
her.

And now I could go to Tor.

When my arms closed around him, Noc had
hesitated then he’d given me a tight squeeze before he pulled his
head back, looked down at me and studied my face with a weird
intensity before he let me go, wrote down the address, grabbed my
hand and pulled me through the Station.

And now we were headed that way.