Fantasyland 03 Fantastical (39 page)

Alas, this was not possible.

But I’d already made my choice, no matter
how difficult. And I made it because Tor could not be a prince in
my world, his people depended on him and he’d expended great effort
(and had the scars to prove it) to rebuild his kingdom. I couldn’t
ask him to give up enjoying the triumphant result of something he
felt so strongly about he gave it five years of his sweat and blood
and his efforts to regain it were marked on his face and body nor
could I ask him to give up the eventual succession to rule a
kingdom that was his birthright.

I was an administrative assistant, only Dave
depended on me and the only wounds I ever got were from paper
cuts.

I didn’t think about my parents or Phoebe or
Dave or the Oscar pre-shows or any of that. I couldn’t. I had to
focus. I was in love. I was pregnant. My man was far away from his
family, who he cared about, and his people, who depended on
him.

And I had a sister to get to know.

The rest I would deal with when the time
came. And if I couldn’t then I knew Tor would help me or, at least,
do everything he could to try.

Before we left the coffee house, Marlene had
turned to Tor.

“You hear tales of her?” she asked.

“Indeed,” he answered.

“And she’s, um…
happy?
” she went on,
her voice low, her eyes intense and Tor’s answer obviously meant
the world to her.

At this, I tried not to look at Phoebe but
that didn’t mean I didn’t search for her hand on the table, find it
and hold it tight.

“They are said to be a love match, she is
revered as a goddess, so yes, I would assume she’s happy,” Tor
replied quietly.

She nodded then enquired, “Is Korwahk far
from your kingdom?”

“Very far,” he answered and she looked
disappointed but nodded again then she licked her lips and looked
away.

So I called her name and when I had her
eyes, I asked, “Is there something you want?”

Marlene studied me. Then she nodded.

“I’d like to get a message to her, just… to
let her know I miss her and I’m glad she’s happy,” Marlene said
quietly.

Hmm. Marlene was sweet and seemed quiet,
unlike Phoebe who was a different kind of sweet but not all that
quiet but it would seem Marlene was Circe’s BFF just like Phoebe
was mine. This made me smile at her but it also made my hand grow
tighter in Phoebe’s.

“We will see to that upon our return,” Tor
offered and Marlene looked hopefully at him then Tor went on,
sharing honestly, “However, this land is far away, routes of
communication are not dependable, this king is nomadic and
therefore I cannot assure you it will reach her but I can assure
you we will try.”

I fought the urge to kick him under the
table for it was cool he was being honest but she didn’t have to
know about the undependable routes of communication, for goodness
sake.

She nodded at Tor then looked at me. “He
took her when I was with her. I was actually standing right next to
her. I saw her disappear. She just… melted away.” Holy crap! There
it was again! “And we’d just been talking about how she didn’t want
to go back when, suddenly, she was gone.” At this, Phoebe clenched
my hand and I clenched hers right back. “I know everything is okay
with her now and she’s happy but… it would have been cool for her
to, you know, meet someone from home, to, like, know she wasn’t
alone. It sucks your kingdom is so far away.”

“Maybe, after I have the baby, Tor and I can
take an adventure,” I suggested to bring that hope back to her
face, it worked, her face brightened but Tor’s grew dark. “Just
saying, maybe…” I muttered in his direction.

His eyes went back to the ceiling.

When Marlene left she promised to do what
she could to find this Clarabelle and get back to us tout
suite.

But my thoughts were, Clarabelle was AWOL
and I had been on Tor’s world for nearly two months. This meant we
could be here that long, or longer. And who knew when or if we
would find Clarabelle.

So, as far as I was concerned, I was moving
forward, business as usual.

“Sweets?” Tor called and I looked from my
list to him. “Put down your paper and come lie with me,” he
commanded.

I looked at the TV then back to him.

“I’ve got to do this and I’m not into
baseball,” I replied.

“I’ll change it,” he returned.

“I’ve got to do this,” I told him, his eyes
went to my knees then back to mine.

“You can do it later,” he stated.

“No, I want to get it out of the way.”

He turned to his side, gave me his full
attention and when he did I noticed the change in his eyes and I
noticed it in three specific parts of my body.

“Put it aside,” he said softly, “and we’ll
both go to your indoor waterfall.”

Those three specific parts of my body
twanged at the thought of a shower with Tor.

“Five minutes, honey,” I replied just as
softly. “I’ll be done and we can shower.”

He rested his head on his hand, elbow in the
couch. “What are you doing?”

“Making lists,” I answered, looking back
down at my paper.

“Lists of what?” he asked and I looked back
at him.

“Contingency plans.” His eyebrows rose so I
explained, “We don’t know how long we’re going to be here. So, if
we’re here awhile, like I was in your world awhile, there are
things I have to do and things I don’t want you to miss.” I looked
back down at the paper and started enumerating. “I have to go to
the doctor, get the pregnancy confirmed medically, get some
vitamins or whatever, start that whole gig. I want you, Mom, Dad
and me to go to the seafood place where Dad asked Mom to marry her
and where we go every year for all our birthdays. I want to take
you for a drive down the coast so you can see all my world isn’t
dreary and some of it is actually really gorgeous. Since you’re
interested in baseball, I want to take you to a Seattle Mariners
game before the season ends. And I want you to go over to Phoebe’s
so she can make you one of her dirty martinis, which are
divine.
And I forgot to buy you gum at the store so we have
to get you some gum so you can try –”

“Cora,” Tor cut in and my head came up.

“What?”

“Put your list aside and come here,” he
ordered.

“Tor, I have to put this down on paper so I
don’t forget anything.”

“Put it aside and come here,” he
semi-repeated.

“Honey, you took time out in your world to
show me places and allow me to meet people and I want to give you
what –”

“Love, put it down and
come here.
”
His voice was very firm and I’d been so intent on my list, I’d
missed the look on his face.

But I wasn’t missing it now.

I put the list down and went there.

When I was stretched out full on top of him,
he lifted both sides of my hair and held it at the back of my head
with one hand, his other arm closing around my waist.

“You can go back to your list in a second
but when you do, you need to change it. You need to list all the
things
you
want to do, people
you
want to see, in
order of priority. Then we will do these things and see these
people,” he told me.

“But I want you –” I started but stopped
when his head lifted and he brushed his lips against mine.

He dropped his head and whispered, “It is
not me giving up everything for love, my sweet.”

My heart clenched just as his arm
tightened.

Tor kept talking and he did it with that
tender look in his eyes and a low rumble in his voice. “You must
fill the time you have left here with the people
you
want to
see and places
you
want to be and I’ll experience your world
through that. I want you to have that. You’ll need it. And it will
allow me to feel more at peace as our decades together pass in my
world knowing that I was able to give that to you before you gave
everything for me.”

Tears suddenly and swiftly filled my
eyes.

God but
God
, I loved this man.

“Baby,” I whispered as one slid down my
cheek but it didn’t make it very far before Tor let go of my hair
and his thumb swept it away.

“Now, kiss me, my love, and then finish your
list so we can shower together.”

I stared down through my watery eyes at my
gorgeous warrior prince.

Then I dropped my mouth to his, both of his
arms closed around me tight, I tipped my head to the side, he
slanted his the other way, my mouth opened but before his tongue
slid inside and I could taste the gloriousness of him I felt myself
flying through the air.

Yes,
flying through the air!

I cried out in shock but my cry stopped
abruptly when my back slammed painfully against the wall and blue
sparks shot out around me.

Oh God.

I knew what that meant.

Oh God!

No!

“Tor!” I shouted after I slid down the wall,
landed on my booty and lifted my head.

But the couch, the whole couch, was shrouded
in blue mist. So shrouded, I couldn’t see him, not even a little
bit of him. Nothing.

No!

“
Tor!
” I shrieked, jumping to my feet
and taking one step toward him only to feel an invisible hand plant
itself in my chest and I was shoved right back against the wall,
violently, blue sparks flying again when I landed and that pressure
at my chest did not go away.

I struggled against the invisible hold that
held me pinned against the wall, pushing forward and screeching,
“
Tor! No! Oh my God! Please, no!
”

Then I heard an evil cackle I’d only heard
once before, my blood turned to ice, the blue mist disappeared from
my couch and the invisible hold that had me in its control melted
away.

My couch was empty.

Tor was gone.

I collapsed to the floor not only in despair
but in sudden pain. Excruciating, unbearable pain that made me curl
my body automatically into a tight, protective ball.

And I knew what that pain was.

I knew exactly what it was.

Half my soul had just been torn away.

Get Your Shoes

Two weeks later…

“Nothing?” I asked, the cell phone pressed
tight to my ear, my knees pressed tight to my chest, my tush on the
tiled floor of the bathroom.

“I’m sorry, Cora. She’s nowhere to be found.
Harold and I asked all the people the other Circe talked to, went
to all the places she told us she went and no one knows anything
about Clarabelle,” Marlene answered in my ear.

I closed my eyes tight and dropped my
forehead to my knees.

Then I whispered into the phone, “Remember,
I have money. You can use all of it. I have seventy-five thousand
dollars. Remember that.”

“I remember, Cora, but there’s no
information, even information to pay for and you may need that
money,” Marlene said quietly back and I knew even through the phone
she could hear my voice, she could hear the pain I lived with every
day, the pain that got worse with every fucking
second.

“And the other Circe, her power –?” I tried
but Marlene cut me off.

“She says its growing but she doesn’t have
enough, not near enough. She’s asking around. She says there’s a
great deal of magic around New Orleans. She asked me to tell you if
she finds someone she’ll let us know immediately and you can fly
there. But you need to save your money, Cora. She says if she can
find someone, the amount of magic they’ll need to use, it’ll be
expensive.”

I lifted my head. “If there’s anything I can
do…” I trailed off because she knew, I’d said that a million times
before. Two weeks ago, Phoebe and I had been with Marlene and
Circe’s Dad, Harold, every step of the way but with every dead end,
every disappointment, the pain got worse and Harold and Phoebe
seeing me endure that had put their proverbial foot down. When I
ignored them, Phoebe told on me to my Dad. I tried to ignore Dad
but he told on me to Mom and well, that was that.

“Harold, Phoebe and I are doing it, Cora, I
promise. And Brianna is asking around too, your folks, Harold’s
buddies, Circe’s old friends. But if there is, I’ll tell you. I
promise, honey, okay?”

I sucked in breath and my voice trembled
when I replied in a whisper, “Okay.”

“We’ll keep looking,” she told me.

“Okay,” I whispered.

“We won’t give up.”

I closed my eyes tight again. Then I opened
them and said, “Thanks.”

“Hang in there, chin up, we’ll get you
home.”

Home.

God. Yes, home. Home was Tor. I needed to
get home.

“Okay,” I said softly.

“Bye, honey.”

“Bye, Marlene.”

I flipped my phone shut. Then I opened it
again and called the private investigator I hired. He didn’t pick
up so I left a voicemail. It was my third message that day. I knew
I was bugging him but I didn’t care and he was ticking me off
because he didn’t seem to be doing anything and I knew this because
the asshole never called and therefore nothing was getting
done.

He was overweight, had bad teeth and stared
at my breasts the whole time I sat in his office. He also demanded
a five thousand dollar retainer which I thought was a little steep
but I gave it to him. I’d heard from him once since and he said he
was “working on it” though it sounded like he was at the
racetrack.

I sat with my butt to the floor and stared
at my bathroom cabinets thinking maybe I needed a different private
investigator.

Then I sucked in breath in order to
move.

It hurt to move. It hurt to sit. It hurt to
lie down. It hurt to sleep. It hurt to
breathe.

And every day, it hurt worse.

I wasn’t bleeding, my skin wasn’t ripping
open, my hair wasn’t falling out.