Far From Home (2 page)

“That’s different,” I said, turning to him as he pulled the jeans over his wet legs.

“No, it’s not,” he said, as he struggled with the jeans. “Wet skin and denim do not make a good combination.”

“You could always leave them off,” I added suggestively.

Jesse stopped fiddling with the jeans, which he’d just finished pulling up, leaving the fly open.  He was staring at me with his gray eyes the way he did sometimes that betrayed the fact he didn’t always want to be the good guy.  He just shook his head though, and tore his gaze from mine as he pulled his t-shirt over his head.  The cotton material clung to his wet skin and I suddenly wished he wasn’t always such a good guy.

He zipped his jeans and then put his shoes on before walking back over to me.  He suddenly cupped my face with his hands, leaned his forehead against mine and smiled at me. 

“I don’t think you understand how much I love you, Riley.” His voice was low and deep and his lips brushed over mine quickly before pulling away again.

“I think I do, but you can keep showing me,” I replied softly.

“My pleasure.”

He pulled me closer, kissing me harder.  His wet shirt pressed against mine and his hands entwined in my matted hair.  A moment later, he groaned softly and pulled back.  He was breathing heavily as our eyes met. 

“We should get back.  It’s almost time for dinner,” he said breathlessly.

“Yeah, we should,” I said, just as out of breath as he was.   

He laced his fingers with mine, and led me back to the mule.  I snuggled in close to him as we drove back to his house. 

“I love you, Jesse.”

He kissed the top of my head and then pushed down hard on the accelerator, causing us both to burst out laughing as we lurched forward.

Chapter Two

Mondays were the worst, especially after such a great weekend with Jesse.  I didn’t want to go to school, but as I was drying my hair, it suddenly struck me that this was the last Monday in my public school career.  For the past thirteen years I’d been at the mercy of the school system telling me when and where I needed to be, and soon, I’d finally be in control of my education.  I decided I would make sure I didn’t schedule any classes on Mondays at Kansas State in the fall.  Jesse and I would be busy on the weekends and would need Mondays to recuperate. 

I was thrilled Jesse had decided to go to K-State as well.  When I first moved to Carver, I’d been intent on going to college back east, but my mind had changed and I wanted to stay in Kansas to be near my mom and grandmother, and if I was being completely honest, I really didn’t want to be away from Jesse. 

College was still a few months away though and I had to focus on getting through finals and graduation.  I’d have to fantasize about the awesomeness of college later.

I finished doing my hair and went to my room, putting on a white cotton dress that would be perfect for the oppressive heat that still had its grip on Carver.  I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs.  My mom was sitting at the table in her scrubs, ready for her shift at the hospital and reading something on her phone. 

“Morning, Mom,” I said, walking to the pantry and taking out a box of cereal.

“Good morning, Ry,” she said, looking up from her phone and smiling at me.

I still cringed sometimes when I remembered how bad things had been between us when we’d moved to Carver.  I had been awful to my mom, and even though I’d apologized, it still hurt.  Things were okay now though and I tried to forget the past and focus on the future.  That was my motto for a lot of the events in my life.

“What are you doing?  Texting with Jack again?” I loved teasing her about her boyfriend.  She’d been seeing a doctor at the hospital for the past couple of months.  I thought I’d be weirded out by it at first, but surprisingly, I wasn’t.  My mom deserved to be happy and Jack seemed to do that for her.

“Actually, yes,” she admitted and her pale skin flushed.  I suddenly felt like the mother and she the child. 

“How’s everything going with him?”

“Very good,” she said, offering up no other details.  I knew she felt strange sharing details of her love life with me.  I didn’t want to push her either.  She’d share what she felt comfortable sharing and I was okay with that. 

I poured the cereal and milk into the bowl and sat down at the table with my mom just as my grandmother walked in.  She still wasn’t aware I knew she’d been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s, which was one of the reasons my mom had decided to come home to Carver.  My mom had only shared that information with me once I’d returned to Kansas after I’d run back to Boston, trying to escape the incident with Alex.  I hadn’t let on that I knew about my grandma’s condition and I was grateful she seemed to still be doing alright.  She was a little more forgetful, but my mom and I knew it could be much worse. 

“Mornin’, y’all,” she said with her Kansas drawl.  I hardly noticed it anymore, but I had zeroed in on the accents when I’d first arrived.  I’d come to learn Jesse had focused on my accent too, even though I denied having one.  He claimed I occasionally dropped my Rs at the ends of words and added them to the ends of words where they didn’t belong.  I told him he was delusional. 

“Hi, Grandma.  Can I get you something to eat?” I asked her between spoonfuls.

“No, thanks, sweetie.  I’m heading out on my morning walk.  I’ll see you after school,” she said as she walked by us and headed towards the front door.  It was a new kick she was on.  My mom told me my grandma was convinced if she was more active, her Alzheimer’s wouldn’t develop as quickly.  We both knew it wasn’t true, but as long as it gave her hope, we’d support her. 

“Be safe,” my mom called to her before my grandma walked out of the house.

“Will do, Lizzie.” 

We heard the front door close and my mom set her phone down and turned to me.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” she began and I looked at her curiously. “Would you be adverse to Jack coming to your graduation?”

“Of course not.  Why would I be?”

“I just wanted to ask you first…in case you’d rather he not.”

“I like Jack, Mom.  He makes you happy, so I’m fine with him.” I set my spoon down and then looked at her hesitantly before speaking again. “Are you okay with him being there?  I mean, Dad and Robin are coming into town for it.  Will that be weird for you?”

“It’ll be fine, Riley.”

“Are you sure?”

“Your father and I have been divorced for nearly three years.  I’ve moved on and so has he.  Our focus is you and we’re both so proud of you.  That’s all that matters.”

I just nodded and then I heard a loud rumbling from outside.  I recognized it instantly as Jesse’s Wagoneer.  I spooned a few more bites into my mouth before dumping the rest into the sink.

“Jesse’s here,” I said, grabbing my bag.

“Have a good day.”

“You too,” I said, waving and then heading outside.

I jumped in the passenger seat and then leaned over, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.  He put the Jeep in reverse and headed towards the school. 

A few minutes later, we were pulling into the parking lot of Carver High.  My eyes drifted around the sea of cars and they stopped momentarily on the familiar black Altima.  Even though it had been nearly six months, I sometimes found myself looking at that car when we’d pull into the parking lot.  It still hurt when I thought about how badly Alex had hurt me, not because I still loved him…I’d come to realize I’d probably never loved him at all, but because I’d given something of myself to him I could never get back, especially when the one I truly loved was sitting beside me and had been there all along. 

I ripped my eyes away from the car and looked discreetly back at Jesse.  His dark hair was still damp from the shower and he was dressed in his typical attire: comfortable jeans and a t-shirt.  Today his shirt was gray and said MARINES in black letters across the front.  He parked the car and we held hands as we walked towards the maroon doors.

My mind drifted to when I walked through those same doors on my first day back after everything had gone down with Alex.  When I first discovered he’d only used me and I’d meant nothing to him, I swore I’d never come back to Carver.  I wanted nothing to do with this backwards, hick town as I used to refer to it.  But after Jesse helped me realize I couldn’t let what Alex had done to me rule my life, I had come back.  Even though I knew everything would eventually be okay, I was still scared as I walked through those doors. 

That first day back had not been easy.  Jesse had been holding my hand and my friends surrounded me, but it didn’t shield me from the peculiar looks I got as I walked down the hall.  Alex and Adrienne had appeared too shocked to see me to say anything at first.  Adrienne’s mouth, agape from surprise, didn’t stay stunned for long.  After the initial shock, it turned up into a devious grin.  Alex had watched me for a moment, his face revealing nothing of his thoughts.  He turned away quickly though and part of me thought perhaps he felt some sort of remorse for how he’d treated me.  I really didn’t care either way though.  I hadn’t come back to dwell on what had happened.  I had returned to be with my family, my friends, and Jesse. 

It was definitely awkward when I’d first come back, but I continued to keep on, showing Alex he hadn’t won and that I was not going to run from the people I cared most about just because of one regrettable indiscretion in my life.  Those people meant more to me than the humiliation he’d caused.  I wasn’t going to be away from them because I didn’t want to be near him. 

Adrienne and her cronies, Dana and Kristen, would mumble about me and glare across the cafeteria, but after I continually ignored Adrienne’s verbal assaults, she eventually gave up and life returned to almost normal.  Other students didn’t seem to care either.  I wasn’t that important to them.  The world of high school was a small one and attentions turned as soon as the next drama unfolded.  Lucky for me, their attention spans were disturbingly short.

I pulled myself away from my flashback and saw our friends were at our usual meeting spot: Holly’s locker.  They were all talking amongst themselves, Mandy’s hands gesturing enthusiastically as always and Laura glaring over to Brandon, as was often the case.  He was always saying something just to annoy everyone, which, although irritating sometimes, was one of the things that made Brandon so endearing.  Holly was just standing there, listening to it all and she looked up when they saw us coming. 

“Did you guys have a nice weekend?” she asked once we’d joined the group.

“We did,” Jesse said, holding my hand up to his lips, kissing it softly as he looked over to me with a grin.  I could tell he was thinking back to our afternoon in the pond the day before, just as I was.

“You two are really sickening sometimes,” Laura piped in and Jesse and I started laughing. “Don’t you ever get tired of the way he looks at you all the time, Riley?  All goo-goo eyed?”

“Nope.  Never,” I said, kissing the back of Jesse’s hand in return. 

“I think it’s sweet,” Mandy chimed in.  She was a hopeless romantic and I loved her for that. 

“Of course you would.  Too bad you’ll never find someone to look at you that way,” Brandon laughed.  I would’ve been shocked had I not known Brandon and knew these insults were a daily occurrence for him.  Mandy knew he was kidding, but she slugged him anyway and Brandon just laughed again, before wrapping his arm around her and hugging her playfully. “You know I’m joking, right?” he asked, showing perhaps he was growing up.  He’d only recently started admitting his teasing, which was about as close as anyone was going to get to an actual apology.  Perhaps someday he’d stop the teasing altogether.  I wasn’t holding my breath though. 

As I looked at my friends I was suddenly overcome with sadness.  We only had one more week in the halls of Carver High.  One more week of meeting up at the old maroon lockers I’d once despised.  One more week of our group being our group.  After graduation, we’d stay in touch, but it wouldn’t be the same.  Jesse and I along with Holly were headed to K-State.  Laura was moving to Oklahoma with her cousin, Mandy had decided to attend the local community college and Brandon had enlisted in the Army and would be leaving for basic training in Georgia at the end of July.  Even though I’d known them less than a year, they were the closest friends I’d ever had.  They’d accepted me right from the start, even when I was acting like a spoiled brat. They’d been there for me through my toughest time and I’d miss seeing them every day. 

I leaned into Jesse and he put his arm around me and I just smiled, enjoying everything just the way I liked it, knowing too soon, it would all change. 

Chapter Three

My dad and Robin landed in Wichita the day before graduation.  They couldn’t stay long, only two days, but I was happy to have my whole family there to celebrate.  My dad seemed a little uncomfortable, and I wondered if there wasn’t something more to the story.  He never came with us on the rare Carver trips of my youth.  I never wondered about it when I was younger.  I always suspected it had to do with work, but now that I was older and more in tune to the subtleties of body language, I thought perhaps he didn’t get along with my mom’s side of the family.  Still, I had to give everyone credit, because they all were polite and cordial to each other.  Robin was being a good sport too.  She was a city girl, born and raised in Boston, and I watched as she observed Carver as a curiosity, just as I had when I first arrived. 

The night my dad and Robin got into town, we all met up at my Uncle Mike and Aunt Debbie’s house for a small cookout.  I invited Jesse and his father and was surprised Mr. Baylor showed up.    The longer I dated Jesse, the more I realized how much he did for himself.  Mr. Baylor was a nice man and I had no doubt he loved his son, but he was always a little distant.  That could’ve been an assumption on my part though.  Maybe he was more open when I wasn’t around, but he kept to himself when I hung out at Jesse’s and it made me sad in a way.  Jesse never seemed bothered by it though.  He actually adored his father and he seemed content with his situation.  As long as he was okay, I figured I should be too.