Far From Home (32 page)

Authors: Megan Nugen Isbell

BOOK: Far From Home

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I will never forget our time together and all the memories that I will take with me wherever I go. Please live your life and be happy. That’s all I want for you because you deserve everything you want in life. Thank you for loving me and letting me love you. I hope one day you can forgive me for doing this to you, because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.

-Jesse

I think I was holding my breath the entire time I read his words and now that there were no more, I breathed out and the ink started to blur as my tears hit the paper. My chest started to ache and I dropped the letter to the floor, burying my head in my hands.

“What’d it say?” Matt asked gently.

“He’s really gone,” I whispered. “And he’s not coming home.”

Epilogue

6 months later

As I walked towards my dorm room along the tree lined path, bare from the winter, I stopped for a moment, looking around, taking it all in. Even after six months, I still couldn’t believe I was here and he was not. I missed him and there was rarely a moment that went by that I didn’t wonder what he was doing and if he was okay. I kept the letter folded up in my wallet and I sometimes took it out, just so I could see his handwriting and hear his words in my mind. I would’ve given anything to hear his voice for real, but I’d finally come to accept that would probably never happen again.

There were days I was angry and days I wasn’t. Those days were filled with sadness and doubt. Other days I forced myself not to think of him at all. I still had a life to live and I had to find a way to do that without him. It was hard though because he was supposed to be a part of my life. That had been the plan for so long, but he’d changed those plans. I tried understanding why he did what he did. I hoped someday I really would understand and maybe even forgive him. It hurt to think of him being so far from home, but wherever he was and whatever he was doing, he was doing what he thought he needed to.

Sometimes I would close my eyes and remember the way it used to be. He was like a ghost, haunting me because the memories of him were so vivid. Other times those memories felt like a dream and I had to wonder if he’d even been real, but I knew he wasn’t a dream. He’d been more real than anything else in my life. That was obvious by the void he left behind. The memories of his touch were still seared on my body. I hoped those feelings would someday go away, because if they didn’t, I’d never get over him.

When I moved to Kansas, I never could’ve imagined how much my life would change. As I looked around my K-State home, I wondered, “Would I change any of it”? I shook my head. Probably not. There had been good times and better times, amazing times and incredible times, but there had also been bad times and very bad times. I’d felt love and devotion, but also betrayal and sadness. Through it all though, I’d survived and as I continued to walk, I knew this time wouldn’t be any different.

We all have visions of our lives and how they should turn out. We think our dreams should come true, but the sad reality is that life changes. Sometimes you see it coming and sometimes you don’t. Sometimes change slaps you so hard in the face, you don’t think you’ll survive, but you can survive and you will. Sometimes the people we want at our sides end up not being there and all we have are the memories that have transformed us into the people we eventually become, whether we want it that way or not. I had to repeatedly tell myself that as a reminder that it would be all right. If I’d learned anything from my time with Jesse and all we’d been through, it was that everything would eventually work out.

When I got back to my dorm, Holly was waiting for me out front. I told myself I would be okay. I had to keep telling myself that, because in reality, despite my tough words, it wasn’t easy to truly believe it. That chapter in my life was over and a new one was beginning. It was time to let go, which was going to be the hardest part because I’d always remember everything we’d gone through. I knew I’d always love him and I hoped a part of him would always love me too.

“You ready for lunch?” Holly asked when I walked up beside her and I nodded as my eyes suddenly focused on the trashcan a few feet away.

“Yeah. Just gimme a sec, okay?” I said, walking over to the trashcan. Reaching into my bag, I took out my wallet and pulled out the folded, worn letter. As I opened it, I glanced down at the familiar blue script. I took a deep breath and with an ache in my throat I could only bring myself to read
Dear Riley
before crumpling it up and tossing it into the garbage.

“Everything okay?” Holly asked when I turned back around, meeting her eyes.

I nodded, cleared my throat and said, “I just needed to get rid of something that’s been weighing me down.”

She looked at me curiously, but didn’t pry.

“Let’s go then. I’m starving,” she said.

As I got in step beside my friend, I looked forward to the life I had ahead, letting go of the life he had left behind.

Read the conclusion of Riley and Jesse’s story in
Carry Me Home
,
the third and final book in The Home Series, coming soon.

A Note From the Author

Thank you for reading
Far From Home
. If you liked it, fantastic! If not, thanks for reading anyway. When I first wrote
Last Train Home
, it was supposed to be a standalone novel. However, after receiving numerous requests for a sequel, I decided to run with it and turned it into a three book series I’ve entitled
The Home Series.
The conclusion of Riley and Jesse’s story,
Carry Me Home,
will be out soon. I’m hard at work on it and trying to come up with the perfect ending to Riley’s journey.

When I write, music plays a huge role for me. Each story has its own soundtrack. I’ve included a list of the songs that inspired
Far From Home
in case you’re interested in checking them out.

If you enjoyed
Far From Home
, check out the first book in the series:
Last Train Home
, along with my two other novels,
After the Sky Fell Down
and
Here With Me
, both available on Amazon.

As always, thank you to the readers who make me want to take a step back from my real life and create stories that people enjoy. If you’re so inclined, please write a quick review on Amazon or Goodreads to help entice other readers to check out the book. I can be reached at
[email protected]
.

With sincere thanks,

Megan

Far From Home “Playlist”