Far From Home (26 page)

I felt my eyes grow warm.  The last thing I wanted was for him to think I wasn’t supporting him.  All I wanted to do was support him.  I just didn’t want to see him get hurt.  I was afraid of what would happen to him if he experienced another loss in his life right now.

I took his hand and held it tightly as I thought about what to say to him.

“I do support you.  I just don’t want her to hurt you again.”

“She’s not going to,” he said, staring back at me. “She had her reasons for leaving my dad and me and while I won’t defend those reasons, I’m trying to understand and accept her apology for doing it.”

“Why’d she leave?” I asked hesitantly and he sighed, pausing for a few moments before telling me.

“She was messed up with drugs, just like I’d been told.  She wasn’t thinking right.  She didn’t think she could take care of me the right way.  She didn’t want me growing up with a junkie for a mom.  She thought she was doing the best thing by leaving me with my dad.”

“That was the best thing,” I agreed and he nodded.

“I know it was, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t miss her growing up.”

“Why didn’t she ever contact you?”

“She was afraid to.  She thought I’d be mad.  She thought I hated her.”

“Didn’t you hate her?”

“Probably,” he nodded. “At least I told myself to hate her.  It was easier that way.  I told myself I didn’t care and I didn’t want to know her, but part of me always did care and I did want to know her.”

“And now that you do know her?” I questioned.

“I don’t hate her.”

“I’ll try not to hate her then either,” I said softly and he kissed the back of my hand, but then I looked at him, needing to ask another question. “Why’d she come back now?”

I heard him breathe in deeply, looking away for a moment before his eyes met mine again.

“She got word my dad died and she didn’t want me to be alone.”

“How’d she even know?  You told me yourself your dad searched everywhere for her while he was filing the divorce papers and he never found her.”

“I guess she has a friend that still lives here and told her about my dad.”

“Where has she been?”

“Lots of places, I guess.  Right now she’s living in Arkansas, near Little Rock.”

“How long is she planning on staying in Carver?”

“Not sure yet.  We’re gonna see how it goes.”

“Where’s she staying?”

“With me,” he answered and I felt my mouth hang open.

“She’s staying with you?” I asked doubtfully and he nodded. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“Riley,” he said gently, taking my hand again. “I know you’re concerned, but please, reserve your judgment for after you meet her.”  I nodded and he kissed my hand, before pulling the Jeep back onto the road, my heart pounding, and not in a good way, as I prepared to meet the woman who had abandoned the person I loved most in this world without a second thought.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Jesse held my hand as we walked up the steps.  I could instantly smell the food cooking when he opened the door and I had to admit it smelled good.  We stepped inside and my eyes were immediately drawn to the woman stirring a pot on the stove.  She was shorter than I expected, especially since Jesse was so tall.  Her hair was a little lighter than the dark blonde it had been in the picture I’d seen of her and it was shorter too.  She was thin, almost too thin for my taste, and when she turned around and smiled at me, her teeth looked a little off, like she’d smoked too many cigarettes in her life.  I didn’t think she looked a thing like Jesse, except for her eyes.  They both had the same gray eyes.

“Hi!  You must be Riley!” she exclaimed with a thick, southern accent.  It was obvious she had not grown up in Carver and I made a note to ask Jesse about that. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” I said, stepping over to her and extending my hand.  She shook it and then stepped back, folding her arms as she looked me over.

“Well…Jesse told me you were pretty, but he didn’t tell me you were a knock out.  I love your hair and your skin is so tan.  What are you?  Mexican or something?” she said with a large grin and I didn’t know if I should be offended or not that she’d even brought up my heritage.

“Actually, my father’s Greek.”

“Well, that explains it.  Whatever you are, you’re gorgeous.  You’d better hang on to this one, Jesse Dean,” she said, turning to shake a finger at him and I felt Jesse squeeze my hand. 

“Is dinner almost ready?” Jesse asked.

“About fifteen more minutes,” his mom answered.

“Do you mind if I grab a quick shower then?” Jesse asked, turning to face me and I shook my head, although I really didn’t want him to leave.  I didn’t think I was ready to be alone with his mom. 

He kissed me on the cheek and I watched him until he disappeared down the hall.  The room grew quiet aside from the sound of the exhaust fan over the stove. 

“Can I help with anything Mrs….” I said, and then hesitated not knowing what to call her. 

“Marlene.  Call me Marlene, hun.  And no, everything’s all set. Just take a seat and relax.”

I did as she suggested and looked around the room while she continued getting dinner ready.  It seemed weird having a woman…a motherly type, in the kitchen and I couldn’t help but eye Marlene suspiciously as she moved about the room.

“So,” she said, tapping a spoon on the edge of a pot before laying it on the stove and turning to face me. “Jesse tells me you come all the way from Boston.”

“Yes, I do.”

“A Yankee, huh?”

“Well, I’ve never thought of myself as a Yankee, but I suppose I am.”

“Never thought my boy would end up with someone from up north,” she laughed and I recoiled a little at her use of the term “my boy”.  Jesse was not her boy.  She’d abandoned her boy sixteen years ago. 

“Well, it’s funny how things work out then.”

“Jesse also tells me he had to go all the way to Boston to convince you to come back after some little asshole kicked you to the curb,” she said and I cringed at how much Jesse had shared with her in such a short time as well as how tactless she appeared to be.

“Jesse’s been very good to me,” I said, saying the only thing I could think of. 

“Well, you just be careful with men.  They’ll break your heart every time and that’s a guarantee.”

I didn’t say anything as she started bringing stuff over and setting it on the table.  I’d already gathered one thing about Marlene and that was she was strange and clearly lacked class.

She finished by pulling the casserole out of the oven and putting it in the middle of the table before sitting down in the chair next to me.

“How has Jesse been, ya know, since Darryl died?” she asked quietly, resting her elbows on the table and leaning in closer to me.  Her breath smelled stale and I backed away. 

“Okay, I guess,” I said, not wanting to share any details with her. 

“I just want to make sure he’s okay.  That’s why I came back, ya know?  When I heard about Darryl, I was devastated.  Not at the fact that Darryl died.  Wait…that sounds really tacky, huh?” she asked and I nodded. “I’ve never been known for my way with words.  What I meant was, I was devastated that Jesse was alone.  How’s he handlin’ it?”

“He’s doing the best he can.  Not many eighteen-year-olds have the responsibilities he does now,” I said, hoping she’d feel guilty for leaving him all those years ago, instead of stepping up and being a mother. 

“But my boy’s handlin’ it,” she said, smiling proudly. “He’s turned into quite a young man and what a looker,” she said with a low whistle. “He definitely didn’t get that from me,” she continued and all I could think was,
No shit, Sherlock.
“I’m a little worried though.  He told me about his dad’s business and how he’s strugglin’ to run it.  I think it’s just too much for him to deal with.  He shouldn’t have to be dealin’ with this right now.  I mean, he’s supposed to be leavin’ for college next month, not worryin’ about all this shit back here.”

At least Marlene and I were on the same page with one thing.  We both thought Jesse was dealing with too much. 

“I feel the same way,” I agreed.

“I just wanna help him any way I can, ‘specially since I’ve been gone for so long.  He’s a good boy though.  Thought he’d tell me to go to hell when I showed up, but he didn’t.”

“That’s who Jesse is,” I said softly. 

“I’m glad he has you though through all of this.  He loves you very much, Riley,” she said and I suddenly didn’t find her so off-putting.  Maybe she really was sorry for how she’d hurt Jesse.  Maybe she really did want to step up and finally be there for her son.  Maybe he hadn’t been left alone in this world after all.

****

“So…what’d you think?” Jesse asked as he drove me home. 

I thought back on dinner and realized it hadn’t been so bad.  Marlene had laughed and listened as Jesse told stories about his childhood and she got all gushy when Jesse recounted how he and I ended up together.  I figured she’d heard it before, but Jesse seemed to enjoy telling it again, and I had to admit, I loved hearing him tell the story.

“I think it went well.”

“Whaddya think of her?”

“She seems nice.”

“That’s not very telling, Riley.”

I sighed, and leaned against the door as I watched him drive.

“I didn’t know what to expect.  She’s definitely a little rough around the edges,” I laughed and he grinned.

“That’s your polite way of saying she’s not exactly classy.”

“You said it, not me.”

“Well, it’s true. She is rough, as you put it, but other than that, what do you think?”

“I said she’s nice.”

“But you’re still skeptical.”

“Yes, I am.  I’m sorry, but I am.”

“I understand your skepticism, and you may not believe me, but I’m a little skeptical too, but I think this could be good, I do.”

I scooted over and rested my head on his shoulder as he drove. “I just want you to be happy.”

He kissed the top of my head as he put his arm around me and I prayed he would get everything he wanted.

Chapter Thirty

I didn’t get a chance to talk to Matt until Jill sent us on some deliveries the next day.  It was good to get out of the shop for a couple of hours and I wanted to tell him about Jesse’s mom. Even though I’d met her and Jesse seemed happy, I was still worried. 

“Jesse’s mom is back,” I blurted out as we drove, not bothering to segway into the conversation at all.

“Excuse me?” he asked and I knew he had no idea what I was talking about.

“While I was in Boston he called me and told me she’d just shown up.  He hasn’t seen or heard anything from her since he was two.”

“This is a good thing then, right?”

“I don’t know.  I was hoping you could tell me,” I sighed. “I mean, she just showed up out of the blue.”

“And you question her intentions.”

“Well, yeah, I guess.  Don’t you?”

“What do you think she wants?”

“I don’t know,” I said quickly. “Something must be going on if she just decided to appear out of thin air.”

“Maybe she genuinely wants to be there for her son since he lost his father,” Matt said, his words causing a feeling of guilt to enter my psyche for a moment for having doubted Marlene.  It went away quickly though.

“Maybe she doesn’t,” I answered back.

“What does Jesse say about all this?”

“He’s thrilled.  I haven’t seen him this happy since before his dad died.  She hasn’t even been in town a week and he’s acting like she’s mother of the year,” I said, knowing I was probably exaggerating my take on the situation. 

“What’s she like?”

“White trash,” I sneered and then winced, realizing I sounded a lot like my former self from when I’d first moved to Kansas.  Matt laughed though and I shook my head.

“I’m not surprised at that.  This is southern Kansas after all,” he said and I figured it was okay to laugh since he was a native and had said it. “But despite that, do you like her?”

“I don’t know,” I said doubtfully. “I don’t want to like her, but part of me thinks she may really want to be in Jesse’s life for the right reason.  The other part of me is afraid she’ll hurt him again and I don’t think he can handle anything else right now.”

“I can understand your concern.”

“I just don’t know how Jesse is so accepting already.”

“Put yourself in his place or try to anyway.  What if you didn’t know your mom or dad your whole life, and then they came back, especially after the parent that had been there was gone?”

I knew he was right.  I understood Jesse’s need to have his mom fill the void of his dad.  I couldn’t imagine not having a parent and if I didn’t, but then was given the chance to, I know I’d want it too, just like Jesse.

“I take your silence as you seeing my point,” Matt said smugly. 

“Yes, I do see your point.  I’d want to think my mom really wanted me.”

“I get your worry though.  It’s weird that she just showed up all of sudden, but when you think about it…maybe it’s the perfect time.”

I hadn’t expected Matt to basically side with Jesse.  I guess he wasn’t really siding with Jesse, but he was trying to get me to stop being so pessimistic and see the possible good in the situation, which was proving difficult for me to do. 

Chapter Thirty-One

I took Matt’s words to heart and did my best to try and see the good in Marlene’s presence in Jesse’s life.  It was weird though because she was always around.  Before Jesse’s dad passed away, he pretty much left us alone when we’d hang out at Jesse’s house.  I’d gotten used to the freedom we had at Jesse’s, but now, it seemed as if we never had any time to ourselves.  Even the night we had to say goodbye to Brandon, Jesse didn’t want to stay out that late because he felt badly leaving his mother at home alone.  It was frustrating, but Jesse seemed happy though and I tried to focus on that, even though I couldn’t stop questioning her motives. 

“Have you and your mom talked anymore about what her plans are?” I asked as he drove me home one night after I’d had dinner with Jesse and Marlene after work.