Fast Connection (Cyberlove #2) (11 page)

No, it wasn’t okay.

I didn’t reply. And when he messaged me every day for the next three days, I still didn’t reply. When he didn’t message me on the fourth day, I worked out in my basement until I threw up.

Dominic

Mother’s Pub was pretty much a cesspool. A two-room clusterfuck packed with bodies, one bar, and no room to breathe let alone dance, and yet people managed. They also managed to hook up in every corner despite the entire north shore of Staten Island being present to watch. It was basically an overpriced house party.

And here I was because I had shit else to do on Friday night now that I’d been ejected from Luke’s life.

“Nicky!”

I winced. I hated that name almost as much as I hated the guy who was shouting it across the bar.

“Ey yo, Nicky C! Get yer ass ovah heah!”

John’s accent was twelve times more pronounced when he was slurring and sloppy drunk. Which meant this could go one of two ways—irritating or disastrous.

I downed my drink and slid off my coveted barstool to make my way over to John. He had the whole crew there—Petey, Jackie, Crane, and a gaggle of girls I didn’t know, but who all managed to look as similar to each other as the guys did. It was an army of douchenozzles with a similar uniform of gelled hair, dark orange tans, and skin-tight clothing. John’s shirt was about two sizes too small.

“What’s up, John?” I gave him pound, dredging up a memory of the complicated handshake we’d created in high school. “How you doin’?”

“Pretty fuckin’ good now that motherfuckin’ Nicky Costigan is in the house.”

“Heh.” I nodded at the others. “Long time no see, guys.”

“Yeah, yeah, long time.” John tipped back his beer. “Which is kinda funny because I coulda sworn I’d heard you came back from Afghanistan last spring.”

“You heard right.”

“So then how come you ain’t come ’round?”

Fuck, he was drunk. I didn’t want to deal with this interrogation. How did I even begin to explain that I’d changed over the past near decade and basically despised them now? Sure, we’d had a good time drag racing on Arthur Kill Road and getting fucked up at the various island hot spots before working our way through every single female we knew, but now it all seemed like baby shit. Which begged the question of why I’d even come to the bar tonight.

To forget Luke.

I cursed my brain and turned up the wattage on my smile. “Just readjusting to life back home. I didn’t re-up, so I’m officially a vet.”

“No more going overseas?” John’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t exactly look thrilled. “You’re back for good?”

“I guess. Yeah, sure.”

“Huh.”

John took another long gulp. He kept staring me down. It was so awkward that the rest of the crew looked at him sideways before changing the subject.

“We’re going to Ultra in a few,” Crane said. “You should come with us. When’s the last time you went dancing with a hot girl?” He tickled the back of a petite blonde with a pink crop top on. She looked ready to knock his teeth out. “We got plenty to spare.”

Vomit. How did anyone hang out with these dudes? And more importantly, had I ever been this obnoxious?

“Nah,” John said. “Nicky’s got better shit to do. Big army vet like him? Shit. He don’t wanna hang out with us.”

I leaned against the bar and gave him a once-over. More like John Connolly was feeling intimidated by the “big army vet” and wanted me to fuck off before the ladies in question were swept away by the infamous Costigan charm. Lucky for him, I had no interest in charming anyone but a thirty-nine-year-old dickhead with prematurely silver hair and a huge schlong. But that ship had sailed.

There was no doubt Luke was done with me. Whether that was because I was a loser working at my parents’ bagel shop, or because he fucking wrongly thought I’d hid the fact that my sister knew his kids, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know anything. Except that he was over it, and I was left in the dust. Just after things had started feeling like more than a series of quick and dirty fucks.

Shit. Had that been it? Had I gotten too comfortable in his house? But he’d been the one to take it to that level. Making me a real sandwich, playing music, inviting me to showers before yet another round of mind-blowing sex…

A fist closed around my heart. I wished I could be mad enough to despise him for making me feel this rejected and awful, but I missed him too much. I wanted him too much. It had been two weeks of radio silence, and I felt like my reason for looking forward to each day had been taken away. Funny how a few chats had made such a big impact on my quality of life.

“Knock knock!”

I jerked away when Crane’s knuckles connected with my forehead. He held his hands up, eyes wide.

“Whoa! Just playing, man.”

“It’s cool.” Jesus, I was jumpy. And now they probably thought I was a head case. “Sorry. I’m on edge tonight.”

“The old man still smacking you around?”

The blond girl whipped her head around to nail John with a lethal glare. “Jesus, John! You’re such an asshole.”

John’s lips briefly tightened before he rolled his shoulders. “It’s all jokes, Kayla. Nicky knows I’m joking. Right, man?”

It was like swallowing a spoonful of acid, but I forced myself to say, “Yeah. Just jokes.”

John and I stared at each other for a long moment before Petey broke the ice with an impromptu story about his cousin finding a dead body on South Beach. The tale captured their attention for long enough for me to tune them out. I returned to the task of getting shitfaced.

One beer, then two, and then I ordered three of Luke’s favorite in his honor. By the time I’d worked my way up to the level of drunk and stumbling, Kayla was hugging on me and John had murder in his eyes. I didn’t give a shit. I wanted Luke but would settle for a fight.

Ultra was on the other side of the island so we car-pooled since I was too drunk to get there on my own. Kayla cuddled me the entire time. It was pretty harmless, but I had to admit that having someone stroke my hair and nuzzle me had a way of soothing my nerves. Too bad it wasn’t the person I wanted it to be. I’d never admitted to being a total fucking kitten for affection to Luke, but he’d started getting it on his own. Like maybe he’d noticed how much I liked being touched and petted.

But no more of that. No more lying in bed while he licked down my body. No more lazy kissing after making each other come.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Kayla ran her hands down my face. “Are you okay?”

Luke’s voice asking me the same thing echoed in my head. “Not really.”

She frowned, looked between me and John, and said, “How about I call you a cab? He’s gonna start shit with you tonight. I know it.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because he’s an asshole who started the night by telling me he wanted to fuck me in the bathroom, and you’re just sad and cuddly.”

I laughed out loud. “Fuck. That’s what it’s come to? I’m the cuddly one?”

“Well. You’re gorgeous too. Hotter than a ten-alarm fire.” Kayla winked. “Good cuddle material. It helps that you’re not hitting on me.”

“Heh. A few months ago I would have been all over you. But I got it bad for someone at the moment.”

“Aw.” She pinched my cheek. “Okay, buddy. Let’s do this—get a drink, dance, and then you go home in a cab. If you let John get you drunker, it won’t end well.”

“Aiight.” I nodded. “Deal.”

Except I didn’t follow the good advice.

We did three rounds of shots as soon as we got to the bar, and then everything went black.

Saturday morning started with a shrill ringing sound cutting into a throbbing headache. It took several minutes of trying to drag my eyes open and two rounds of vomiting to realize that I was hungover. I was still wearing my clothes from the night before, but they were filthy.

Instead of trying to figure out what had woken me up, I stripped and sat on the floor in the shower. Hot water washed away sweat, grime, and blood. It looked like I’d been in a fight.

“Fuck.”

I banged my head against the tile and instantly regretted it. Whatever had happened had destroyed me. My stomach was in knots, there were weird bruises on my torso, and my hand was swollen. It was the hand that indicated a fistfight, and it didn’t take much to assume it’d likely been with John. The jealous fuckrag had probably poked and prodded until I’d responded with the lightning temper I’d inherited from my father.

I tried to remember what had happened, but could only put together vague pieces. John yelling in Kayla’s face, me shoving him away, us both stumbling onto the dance floor and ripping into each other. I had no memory of who had come out the victor, but I’d never given a shit about that. Despite my tendency to throw hands when pushed too far, I hated fighting. I always felt guilty about it.

The shrill sound started up again, and I dragged myself out of the shower. Garrett’s name flashed across my phone.

My eyes went wide. The first smile I’d managed to genuinely summon in days crossed my face and faded just as fast. The jerk had hung up. I’d missed his call.

I called back three times before he texted me.

Hell naw. I was in desperate need of advice. I didn’t have a few hours.

Squinting through my hangover, I booted up my laptop and logged onto Twitch. It was shockingly easy to find his boyfriend’s channel. The guy was apparently one of the top streamers on the entire website. I didn’t know what that equated to in terms of dollar bills, but I was pretty sure I needed to get my ass a following on a livestream so I could get subscribers and endorsements like Kai.

I set my handle as “SgtCostigan” after Kai’s channel loaded, and I couldn’t stop from smiling broadly as my friend appeared. The screen was split so on one side I saw Garrett fucking Reid scowling intently at his screen and on the other, I saw a video game character running around with a giant bow.

In the background, I heard a male voice yelling instructions to Garrett.

“Stun him! G—oh my God, if you die—”

“I won’t die!” Garrett snapped. “Damn, let me play.”

The Twitch chat went wild.

“Fuck this fucking game.” Garrett slammed his hand on the desk. He looked so pissed off. It was hard to believe he was emoting this much over a video game. “That dude had over-enchanted everything. It wasn’t a fair one-versus-one.”

“That’s why I told you to stun him! If you’d stunned him and then did bleed-and-poison, he would have had so much damage over time that he’d be almost—”

“Oh, whatever.” Garrett scooted the chair back. “I’m done playing for now.”

On the screen, Garrett paused. He made a face. “Seriously, Costigan?”

“Costigan?” The voice in the background got louder. A face popped into view beside Garrett. Holy shit, his boyfriend was a fox. Big blue eyes, dark hair, and a gorgeous pair of lips. “Costigan who gave you handies that one time?”

“Yes! Hi! Nice to meet you.” Kai grinned widely. “Uh, sorry Chat. This is totally not gamer related. Costigan is my Army Boyfriend’s army hookup! Before meeting me, obviously.”

“For God’s sake, Kai,” Garrett grumbled. “They don’t need the details.”

“They do if we’re interrupting gamer time for this reunion!”

Garrett raised an eyebrow. “I don’t even like you, so this isn’t shocking.”

Kai glared at him. “That’s not very nice.”

Kai hid a smile. “I’m good at giving advice that I don’t follow. Tell us everything, Sgt. C.”

In front of an audience, and not giving one damn, I spilled the entire story. How I’d met Luke on Grindr, his skittishness and cold demeanor, and how he’d almost defrosted before shutting me down hard.

“Well, I don’t see how you can even give up if he won’t tell you what’s wrong.” Kai curled up in Garrett’s lap. They were so cute it was a little painful. “Like, for all you know he’s been sick or busy. Have you scoped his social media?”

“Then I’d call him.”

“Then go the hell over there,” Garrett said. “If you really like this guy, and he hasn’t told you to stay out of his life just yet, maybe you need to step it up. This one here—” He pinched Kai’s side. “—tried to shut me out, and I came over anyway and sat in front of his door. Uh, not that I’d advise that. We had circumstances that made that not stalkerish.”

“Then go over there,” Kai jumped in. “It has nothing to do with dating a girl or a guy. People are people, you know? Everyone’s different. Like, just because me and Garrett are gay doesn’t mean we have any insight into your guy. The only way to find out what’s going on and what he really wants, is for you to go talk to him and stop relying on an app.”