Fast Forward (17 page)

“On the contrary, it’s definitely something. Anytime you’re going to sneak out of my house in the middle of the night to hang out with some boy, it’s something.”

Okay. I think I stopped breathing.
“Grandmom…”

“Denial would be insulting to both of us, so don’t,” she said.

Damn.
“Yes, I snuck out Saturday night,” I said, quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“No, Kenisha, you’re not contrite. You got caught. You’re sorry about that, fine. But it’s not about sneaking out. It’s about trust and respect. You messed up. You lost both.”

I closed my eyes then opened them slowly. This wasn’t the same as when my mom was alive. I never snuck out of the house, but sneaking in was always a breeze. “So, you don’t trust or respect me anymore?” I asked.

“It’s not about me, Kenisha, it’s about you. Given what you did, do you trust or respect yourself, your ability to make sound choices and good decisions?”

“The choices we make are the choices we live with.” I heard myself repeating my mother’s mantra.

“Exactly. Can you live with the choices you’ve made lately?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. You’ve been spiraling around here like a spinning top out of control, bumping into things, stumbling, but still spinning faster and faster. You know that won’t last.”

“But it’s different here. It’s not the same as before.”

“No, it’s not, but right is right, no matter where you are. Don’t use that as an excuse.”

She was blocking. Every time I said something, she blocked me out. “I was wrong,” I said simply. She nodded silently. “So what happens now, I’m grounded?” I asked.

“Will that change anything?” she asked.

“No, but I did learn that it’s disrespectful both to you and to myself to do what I did. And I am sorry. I won’t do that again, I promise.”

“Good.”

“Pearls of wisdom?” I asked.

“No,” she said, standing, “just plain old common sense.”

Later, after dinner, I just sat in my bedroom chilling. There wasn’t anything interesting on TV, so I went online and started surfing the Web. I looked up Terrence’s fraternity at Howard. I checked to see what Tyrece and Gayle were doing. I looked up next week’s schedule at Freeman Dance Studio and then checked out what was happening at Hazelhurst. While reading the school’s latest newsletter, I got a message from my sister. I clicked on to visual.

I saw Jade’s smiling face and instantly felt better. Funny,
I would have never thought I’d say something like that, but it was true. She was my connection to our mom and I was hers. We were like the only two people on this planet who could say that. It was good knowing that I wasn’t alone.

“Hi, Jade,” I said happily.

“Hey, what up?”

“Nothing, I was just chilling and surfing.”

“No homework?”

“Nah, I did it all. I took the Hazelhurst exam last week.”

“Good, how do you think you did?”

“I don’t know. Good I hope. I’m ready to go back to school.”

“What about the fighting?” she asked.

“Been there, done that, I’ve had enough.”

“I heard,” she said.

“You heard what?” I asked.

“I heard that you were at the go-go club last weekend.”

“How did you find out? Grandmom told you?”

“No, but she knows of course. Believe me, you can’t get anything past her. She may be old but she’d good, so don’t even think that you got away with something.”

“She already talked to me about sneaking out…”

“You snuck out too? Are you crazy? Do you know how dangerous that is? Anything could have happened to you…”

“…I know, I know, it was stupid and yes, Grandmom already talked to me about being irresponsible and disrespectful.”

“Good, but seriously Kenisha, you can’t be doing stuff like that. It’s too dangerous. I used to go to the go-go clubs
too, and like clockwork some fool would act up and the police would be all over the place. Don’t get caught up in all that drama.”

“Yeah, I see that now.”

“Who did you go with?”

“Some friends. I got a ride there and back. I saw a few fights but stayed as far away from the rest of the stuff as possible.”

“Good, I don’t know why there’s always one idiot who has to mess it up for everybody.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I heard on the news that there was a stabbing.”

“Yeah” was all I said, I didn’t want to go into detail and let her know that I was too close to everything. “So how’s Tyrece?”

“Good. He’s in the studio now.”

“A new CD?”

“He’s working on it.”

“Are you going to be on it?”

“As what, a singer? Girl, you must have bumped your head at the go-go the other night. You know the only way I can carry a tune is in a bucket of water. I can’t sing.”

I laughed. We started talking about colleges and which ones I was interesting in attending. She gave me some helpful hints. Then we talked about just about everything else. She asked about Diamond and Jalisa, and I gave her vague answers. Then she asked about lawn mower guy. I told her that he crossed over on line. She was genuinely happy for him. I kind of wished I’d been happy for him too now. I shouldn’t have been so distant and upset, but
it was too late. I doubted seriously that he’d come home this weekend. Maybe I’d call him later tonight. But I doubt that, too. Maybe Friday.

All Hell Breaks Loose

Friday
came quicker than I expected. All of a sudden it was here. I have no idea what happened to Wednesday and Thursday. I guess I just sleepwalked the days away ’cause I seriously don’t remember them. So it was the weekend now. School was over, and I was so ready to get out of the “Penn.” I grabbed a few books from my locker and started checking the list I made during my last class period. This weekend was crucial. I needed to buckle down and hit the books hard. I was caught up with assignments, but I needed to study.

“Hey Kenishiwa. What you doing tonight?”

What an ass. I didn’t even look up. I knew who it was. There was only one fool dumb enough to consistently call me something as ridiculous as Kenishiwa. I don’t know if he thought it was funny or cute, but it was definitely
annoying. But given his limited mentality, he probably thought it was my real name.

“Do you even have any idea what you’re actually saying when you call me that?” I asked. He looked stumped. “Do any of you know? Do you even know what language it is?” He grimaced as if his brain were about to implode. “Never mind,” I said, “don’t hurt yourself.”

So as usual Troy was standing there spouting some crap that he hoped would get me to go out with him, which probably meant going someplace and dropping my panties. Not. I swear, the redundancy of his drama is so meaningless. The fact that he actually believes that his nonsense and stupidity will wear me down is insulting. I just looked at him and shook my head. To think that Troy, this wasted lump of flesh, had actually received a five-year scholarship to college. It was insane. Just because he could toss an object a few yards, he was given a full ride. They’d better make it eight years since everyone knew that Troy had the IQ of a meat loaf, and that was a major insult to the meat.

So anyway, I shot him down, as per our usual dance of wasted time. He and his friends walked away as usual, laughing and slapping each other on the back. I just stood there at the open locker and shook my head. I know I’m about to sound like my grandmother but, “Lord save me from this stupidity.”

I noticed that one of his friends stayed back. He walked up to me and cleared his throat. I turned around and glared at him, waiting for something stupid to come out of his mouth. This is all I needed this week, another Troy wannabe.

“You better go and catch up with your friends,” I said, trying not to add another smart remark to the rebuff.

“We’re not exactly friends, more like teammates.”

I looked up. “I know you, right?” I asked.

“Yeah, my name’s Barron James. We hung out and danced at Ursula’s party the other night. Girl, you can really dance, Freeman, right?”

“Yeah, you’re not too bad yourself. Do you go to Freeman?”

“Nah, I just hang around picking up stuff as I go.”

I nodded impressed. “Not bad for just hanging around.”

“Thanks, um, listen, don’t be too upset with Troy. He’s just trying to impress the guys.”

“Yeah, I get that. I just don’t like being the target all the time,” I said, then looked at him suspiciously. “What about you, you trying to impress the guys, too?”

“Nah,” he said.

“You know if he calls me Kenishiwa one more time I swear I’m gonna jump up and strangle him.”

He laughed. “So, I guess I shouldn’t tell you that the nickname Kenishiwa was kinda my idea, huh?”

“Your idea?” I said, surprised for some reason.

“Well, see
konichiwa
is Japanese. It’s a greeting meaning, like hello or how are you? So it seemed kinda tight to blend your name and the Japanese word. Kenishiwa.”

Damn, I was impressed, a football player with an actual brain. “That’s pretty good, smart play on words,” I said smiling. “So who told you what it meant?”

“My dad’s in the military. We were stationed in Japan for a few years. We moved to D.C. a year ago.”

“Do you miss Japan?” I asked.

“Yeah, it was nice. My grandparents are still there, and I’m supposed to go back and visit next year. I’m looking forward to it.” I nodded seeing the hint of Asian facial features. He was nice looking. A little thin but he seemed cool. “Um, listen, I was meaning to ask you something.”

“What?”

“Um, are you doing the Halloween thing tonight?”

“Halloween,” I asked, completely forgetting about it, again. “Oh, right, I completely forgot. No, I’m not going out, you?”

“Yeah, I’m taking my niece and nephew out tonight.”

“Awe, that’s nice,” I said sincerely.

He started telling me about what they were wearing, but I wasn’t listening anymore. I was wondering about my two half brothers. They were at the perfect age to enjoy Halloween. I wondered what they’d be dressed as tonight—knowing them probably something crazy. I should be there with them, helping them with their costumes, taking them around the neighborhood; but I wasn’t. I promised myself that I’d go online later and at least see their outfits.

“So, at Ursula’s party the other night, you were there with those two girls, right?”

“Yeah, Jalisa and Diamond. They’re my best friends. Why?” I asked smiling, knowing that he must have been interested in one of them.

“Nah, nothing,” he said shyly, looking away smiling. “I was just curious. Which one is which?”

“Jalisa has the braids, and Diamond has straight black hair.”

“Diamond, huh, she like seeing anybody now, I mean like that guy she was dancing with at the party?”

“No, not that I know of. Why, are you feeling her? Do you want me to introduce you?”

“Nah, that’s okay. Well maybe, I guess. Sure.”

“A’ight, let me talk to her, then I’ll let you know. She lives in Virginia in my old neighborhood, but we hang out at Freeman sometimes.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s where I saw her before.”

My brow arched. It seemed that Barron was seriously liking Diamond. I kinda like the look of them together. They’d make a cute couple. “So, I’ll talk to her and let you know, okay.”

“A’ight,” he said smiling as he backed up to leave. “I gotta go anyway. Football practice is in ten minutes.”

“You’re on the football team?”

“Actually mostly the track team. I’m a sprinter. Some of us do football, too.”

“A’ight, see ya.” After he left I couldn’t stop smiling. It was so cool that he asked about Diamond. Most guys interested in Diamond were either too intimidated by her looks or her dancing ability or they were just plain jerks.

“Kenisha.”

I turned the other direction. My current frenemy, Cassie, was standing there smiling ruefully at me. I obliged her with a halfhearted smirk. “Hey, Cassie,” I said still going through my locker.

“So, you talkin’ to him now?” she asked.

“Who?” I asked looking at her. “Eww, are you okay? You look kinda bad.”

“I’m okay. I just got a cold I think,” she said sniffing.

“Maybe you should see a doctor about it or something.”

“Well, maybe it’s sinus or allergies, I don’t know.”

“Still, you should get that checked out,” I said.

“So you talking to him or what?”

“Barron, no. He asked about one of my girls from Virginia. I’m gonna introduce them.”

“Oh, ’cause I thought you was with D.”

“I am not with Darien. We’re friends and that’s all. You know I’m talking to Terrence.”

“Oh, right, so what are you doing tonight?” she asked.

“I don’t know yet, probably studying. Why?”

“But it’s Halloween. You gotta hang out tonight,” she said.

“I don’t think so.”

“Come on, I heard about this really nice party tonight. I don’t want to go by myself. Want to go with me?”

“Nah, I really need to study.”

“Can’t you study tomorrow? It’s supposed to be really fun,” she cajoled.

Now here’s the thing: I don’t trust Cassie anymore. She used to be my around-the-way girl, but now my gut was telling me that she was a hater and a faker. I don’t know, there’s something about seeing her hanging with Sierra that seemed strange, especially since she told me she couldn’t stand her anymore. She was two-faced, yeah, I got that, but there was something else. I don’t know. “Nah, it’s important, I need to study all weekend.”

“A’ight, you going home now?”

“No, I need to stop by my English lit class and pick something up. I don’t know how long it’s gonna take.”

“A’ight, see you later.”

“Yeah, later,” I said. After she left, I grabbed what I needed from my locker and slammed it tight. I went to my class and picked up my Langston Hughes essay. I talked to the teacher about it. He really liked it, and he even suggested I consider using it as a platform for my college essay. I walked out the school building feeling pretty great for the first time in a long time.

I didn’t see anybody on the way home. That was good. I went home and showed my grandmother my essay. She was impressed and that really made me feel good. She suggested I tell Jade since Langston Hughes was her favorite poet. I immediately e-mailed her a copy of the essay. I cooked dinner and hung out with my grandmother awhile. It was warm out so we sat on the front porch talking about her fall plants, school and the upcoming holidays. It wasn’t time for bingo at the church yet, so we were just sitting back chilling and handing out treats.

“So, what are you doing this evening?” she asked.

“Nothing. I have homework and studying to do, that’s all.”

“No parties?”

“Nah, I’m kind of putting that on hold for awhile.”

She nodded slowly but didn’t say anything more.

Later, after my grandmother left for bingo, I went upstairs and sat down at the computer table. I grabbed my cell and turned it off so that I could study without
interruption. I read a few chapters of a history assignment, finished a chemistry worksheet I’d started earlier and then opened my trigonometry textbook. I for real didn’t feel like doing trig, so I went online to check out the current Hazelhurst assignment site. As I was going through the listed information, I got an IM. It was from Diamond.

“Help! Help! The mayor and good people of Another-townsville, USA need our help. Professor What’s-His-Name has been kidnapped by the Meanies. They threaten to slice off his sideburns if we don’t bring them the secret chemical ZYX formula!”

There was also a badly drawn sketch and a ransom note. I laughed so hard tears rolled down my cheeks. I was just about to send a reply when I got an IM and camera message. It was Jalisa. I really didn’t feel like talking, but I clicked over anyway.

Jalisa was sitting there with Diamond beside her. They were dressed like two of the Powerpuff Girls. It was our costume from last year—Blossom, Bubbles, the only one missing was Buttercup, me. “Hey,” I said smiling happily as if everything was all right with us.

They didn’t speak. Instead they held up a piece of paper with words written on it, “We’re still mad, and we’re not talking to you.”

“Okay,” I said slowly.

They changed to another piece of paper. It read, “Hi!”

I shook my head. They are so crazy. “Hi,” I said smiling again.

Another paper, “Did you get our message from before?”

I laughed. “You mean about the professor?” I asked.

They looked at each other and then quickly grabbed a marker and another piece of paper. Jalisa scribbled something fast and Diamond held it up. “Yes.”

I laughed again. “Yeah, I got the message,” I said.

They scrambled for another sheet of paper, then finding it, held it up. “The professor is okay, but his sideburns are gone. The Meanies are in jail.”

“So y’all didn’t need me,” I said.

Another piece of paper said, “I know you might still be mad at us too, and maybe we’re not talking, but we wanted you to know that we miss you. Two Powerpuff Girls just doesn’t seem right.”

“I miss y’all,” I said sadly, “and I’m not mad. I was just tripping before. I’m sorry.”

They found another piece of paper. “We’re sorry, too.”

“So are we talking now?” I asked.

They dropped the rest of the papers. “Yeah,” they said in unison. “Guess what we did tonight?” Diamond asked quickly. Of course I knew the answer. Ever since we were old enough, we went trick-or-treating together. First with Natalie, Jalisa’s older sister, and then when we were old enough we hung out by ourselves. Together we’d been everything from the three little pigs to the Three Stooges. But last year was the best.

“Let me think,” I said, then paused. “Trick-or-treating?”

“We took my nieces and a few neighborhood kids out earlier. Now we’re hitting a party. You’re invited, too,” Jalisa said.

“Nah, I really need to chill and hit the books. The
Hazelhurst exam was last week, and if I passed I still have to be ready to start next semester.”

“How do you think you did?” Jalisa asked.

“She aced it,” Diamond said confidently.

“I aced it, I hope,” I said. They cheered.

“A’ight wait, so what happened to you. We called you like a dozen times before,” Jalisa said.