Fasten Your Seatbelts: A Flight Attendant's Adventures 36,000 Feet and Below (33 page)

The next day I was going to give myself plenty of time because Interstate 95 can be an absolute disaster with accidents
and incidents. I made it all the way down to Fort Lauderdale when the weather turned for the worse. I slowed down as the rain pelted my windshield. The traffic began to crawl at a snail’s pace. I was thankful I had given myself plenty of time, making it to the employee parking lot in two and a half hours.

The employee parking lot has many bus stops. I like the first stop so I am sure to get a seat. I was first to arrive with my umbrella in hand, waiting for the bus to come. Soon, from every direction the area became crowded with pilots, mechanics, airport employees and flight attendants. I kept looking at my watch waiting with anticipation. I’m not sure if it was because of the weather, but the bus was running late. By the time it came, anxious airport employees swarmed the bus ahead of me. I suddenly was reminded why I don’t like to fly out of Miami. By the time the bus reached the fourth stop, it was completely full; everyone who was getting on had to stand for the ten minute ride to the airport.

There, I sat staring at a mob of people’s behinds and crotches. You can tell everyone is staring at each other until they are caught and suddenly look away. A girl I hadn’t seen for a while sat in the distance, but I really didn’t feel like talking, so it was easier to pretend she wasn’t there. The entire ride I was thinking I should have “princess parked.” That means you just pay for parking at the airport and avoid the remote employee
lot. As I glanced out the window I noticed the dark, ominous clouds coming our way.
I hope that is not going to affect my flight today
.

I signed in for my trip in operations, also checking to see if we had an on-time departure. Our arriving airplane was coming in early, so it looked as though everything was running smoothly.

I cleared security and headed to my gate. As I was sitting near the departure area, waiting for the arrival of our airplane, I noticed the rapidly approaching clouds. The skies darkened and at the same moment it was as though someone had dimmed the lights in the airport. The lighting struck at the same time the thunder roared. It was quite frightening. I was thankful I was on the ground as opposed to in the air.

The flight attendants who were working with me soon arrived at the gate. We were concerned about the weather when the agent confirmed our fears. The ramp was closed. What that means is all operations come to a halt. No airplanes will be taking off or landing, and no bags will be loaded or unloaded from the aircrafts. We did have some good news though. Our airplane had arrived and was waiting on the runway for the plane parked at our gate, to leave.

About an hour passed, and so did the first storm. The ramp opened up. I looked out the airport window at all the stranded
jets. Workers were everywhere trying to make up for lost time. Baggage handlers were loading and unloading cargo, service guys were fueling the airplanes, and caterers were supplying the galleys.

One by one the planes rolled away from their gates. Our gate was now available for our aircraft’s arrival. The agents ran down the jet bridge to open the door of the aircraft and let the passengers off. Of course the flight attendants love to people watch, so we critiqued everyone getting off the airplane. Judging by their attire, we guessed they were coming from a warm destination. We were right: it was Orlando.

After everyone deplaned and the aircraft was cleaned, the four of us moseyed onto the aircraft. It was now 5:50 p.m. Our scheduled departure was 4:50 p.m. As we were stowing our luggage in the overhead bin, a very hard lightning strike crashed as if it struck right next to the airplane. I jumped and even screamed it scared me so badly. The wind began to blow harder and harder; the empty aircraft swayed side to side. The agents came down to the airplane to let us know the ramp was closed again.

Meanwhile, the captain and first officer came aboard. I was in the back of the aircraft working as the number two galley flight attendant on our 757 aircraft. I saw the pilots talking to the other flight attendants in first class, so I joined them
to introduce myself. When the captain saw me, he looked shocked. His eyes got big, his jaw dropped, and his open arms reached out to hug me. I cautiously hugged him back thinking this is a very touchy-feely kind of guy.

He was a tall, slender, nice-looking man. He spoke to me as if he knew me.

“I didn’t think I would ever see you again and thought you might have quit,” he murmured fondly.

I studied his face. “Raleigh?” I asked. Raleigh is where all the pilots and flight attendants were like family.

He said, “Yes”.

We went back and forth asking about all the people we knew and their whereabouts. He looked vaguely familiar to me, but I just couldn’t place him. I looked up his name on the paperwork.
Nope, nothing
. It didn’t ring a bell. After all, that was more than twenty years ago.

He followed me to the back of the aircraft clearly wanting to talk more, but I needed to get busy. He seemed hurt that I wasn’t more talkative and friendly and soon left to do his own pre-flight checks of the aircraft.

Another hour passed and soon the sky was clear enough for the ramp to open. Again the scurrying began as airplanes were loaded with bags, fuel and food. The agent started boarding the aircraft. The hustle and bustle of the outside workers was
now replaced with the hustle and bustle of passengers finding a place for their luggage and nestling into their seats. Some were taking more time than others, but at this point everyone wanted to get away as soon as possible.

Finally, at 7:50 p.m. our 757 took off — three hours delayed. The flying time to Las Vegas is around five hours, which meant an arrival time of 12:50 a.m. EST. For someone who usually goes to bed around 9, this was not going to be an easy flight to work.

Many changes have occurred in my career as a flight attendant; this month was another one of those changes. Our airline was now going to be cashless. That is right: If you want a $2 headset, you better whip out that credit card. This was only my second trip using the credit card machine, so I was still getting comfortable with it. I knew a Vegas flight usually meant we have party animals who like to drink, so I was sure to get lots of practice.

For the most part passengers accepted the idea, but some were reluctant as they handed me their card. It seemed to take forever to do the service, though. Before, when someone handed you cash, you stuffed it in your pocket and proceeded to the next customer. With a credit card, you swiped the card through a machine to document the sale. It’s not difficult; it just takes a little more time.

Only one passenger gave me the run around. After making all appropriate announcements and making it clear several times, it was hard to misunderstand what we meant by credit/debit cards only. As I approached this particular customer, I told my flight attendant partner, “I may have a problem with my next row.” She glanced at him with money in hand as we passed by with the cart. She nodded and said, “Good luck.”

The male passenger had long, unwashed hair and a missing front tooth. I asked what he would like to drink.

He showed me his money, “I want two rum and Cokes.”

I apologized to him for not being able to take his cash and explained once again, “We only take credit cards.”

I saw his face getting red. “I don’t have a credit card,” he snapped.

I didn’t want a fight on my hands. I gently but firmly told him, “I’ll tell you what, since we just started the program I will give you these two drinks, but drink them slowly because that’s all you’re getting on this flight. Next flight, you must have a credit card.”

He seemed pleased to receive his drinks for free, and I was pleased he hadn’t caused a scene.

Only one other passenger tried to test me. “So what do I do if I want a sandwich, but I don’t have a credit card?” I looked at her with my I guess you’re out of luck face. After she realized
she was not going to get a free sandwich, she pulled out her credit card.

After we finished our service, I continued to think of how I knew this captain. It was killing me! Due to the late hour, I was getting tired and was relieved when we heard the words, “Flight attendants, prepare for landing.”

When everyone deplaned, I saw the captain briefing two of the other flight attendants. Their faces turned from weary to disbelief. I butted in on their conversation and asked what was going on. “We are reassigned for tomorrow. Because of our three-hour delay, we’re going to be illegal to fly our one leg home to Miami.”
Oh, great
. I guess getting in at 1:30 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon was not going to happen. Now instead we had to fly to New York in the morning, sit around for three hours, and then deadhead back to Miami arriving at 10:35 p.m. Needless to say, we were not happy. After printing out our new schedule and taking the bus ride to the hotel, we arrived in our rooms at 1:30 a.m. EST.

Morning came way to fast. Our pickup time was 6:10 a.m. Mountain time. At least I was able catch a good six hours of sleep. This particular hotel offered a free breakfast starting at 6 a.m. I went down early, not wanting to miss out. Everyone else on my crew had the same idea because we were all there enjoying our breakfast together trying to make light of what an awful trip this had been so far.

The flight attendants were at one table, and the captain and first officer were sitting next to us. I jokingly asked the captain, “Hey, did we have some kind of history together or what?” He just smiled and kept eating.

We all piled in the van that took us to the airport. After tipping the van driver for helping us with our luggage, the captain asked me to stay behind with him.

“I have something to tell you,” he said. “A long time ago we were deadheading together in the back of the airplane. We were flirting heavily with each other. I pulled out a dollar from my wallet. I’ll bet you this dollar that I can kiss you without touching you,” he said he had told me. He recounted how he then leaned over and kissed me right on the lips.

I said, “Hey, you touched me.”

To which he replied, “Here is your dollar.” I laughed hysterically.

He also said he had a big crush on me back then. Wow! I blushed.
How could I not remember this? What else don’t I remember?

One of the main reasons I wrote this book is because a wonderfully wise, captain friend of mine wanted me to tell him some stories. I told him I received a speeding ticket that morning and wasn’t in the mood to tell stories. He said, “Chris, do yourself a favor; buy a notebook and start writing your stories
down because one day you are going to forget.” I purchased a notebook the following week and started writing my stories down and years later, I have this book. Now I see what he was talking about. This was a perfect example of having one of those memory losses.

I looked at the captain differently. Perhaps he now got the look he hoped for when he first saw me the day before. I told him, “Hey, thanks for the memory.”

During the entire New York flight I wanted to curl up somewhere and go to sleep. The thought of deadheading to Miami kept me going because I knew I could rest on that flight. I am sure the pilots were getting tired, but being New York based, they were home.

This was actually a much easier leg to work because all the passengers were catching up on their sleep from their activities in Vegas. Once again the sound of our captain’s voice was fondly heard over the PA system, “Flight attendants, prepare for landing.”

After sitting around two and a half hours in the New York airport, we boarded a 767 to take us to Miami. After having such an awful trip, we were delighted to see the agent had given us first class seats. This 767 was a newly configured aircraft which had reclining sleeper seats. I had never seen such airplane opulence.

As I took my seat, I felt like a passenger who was experiencing first class for the first time.
I wonder what this button is for. Hmmm, what is this other one for?
I opened up my pillow and blanket enclosed in plastic. I was surprised it was a luxurious down comforter.
This must be where our airline’s money is going, I mused
. I didn’t care. At that moment, I just wanted to snuggle comfortably under this lovely blanket. After we took off, I figured out what all the buttons meant and reclined my seat to ecstasy. I was conked out for the duration of the flight.

Two hours went by, when I was unhappily awakened by a different captain’s voice. “Uh, ladies and gentlemen, Miami is experiencing a great deal of thunderstorms; we’re going to prepare the cabin early for landing. Flight attendants, prepare for landing.”

I was still half asleep when suddenly the plane jerked back and forth. We could hear the rain pounding against the fuselage.
Not again!
This time I WAS in the sky. The flight attendant next to me instinctively grabbed her armrest. The first class passengers were probably not too comforted by that. But we are also human. My hands began to sweat. The back of the airplane is always worse in turbulence.
If it was bad where we were, what was it like there?

The lightening cracked outside our window so brightly it blinded us. The boom of thunder heard was nerve racking. I
often wonder why we have to fly through such weather. The plane took a sudden drop that caused the passengers to let out a gasp. I looked anxiously at the flight attendant sitting next to me. She responded with the same look. As always, I found myself saying some heavy-duty prayers.

Once again, I was greatly relieved when the wheels finally touched the runway. As we were taxiing to the gate the captain’s voice came on the PA and said exactly what I did not want to hear, “The ramp is closed, ladies and gentlemen.” We all let out a moan. All four of us deadheading flight attendants stared at each other in disbelief. It was now 10:53 p.m.

Luckily, it wasn’t too much longer when we pulled in at the gate. I walked as fast as I could to get to the employee bus. Again the bus was late, and again the employees kept coming. When the bus finally arrived, the employees rushed the bus and all common courtesy was gone. I had to bully my way on and took the first available seat I could find.