Fasten Your Seatbelts: A Flight Attendant's Adventures 36,000 Feet and Below (32 page)

I stood in the aisle trying to have a calm demeanor. “Does everyone know how to open these window exits in case of an emergency?” I got four immediate responses. NO! I continued, “Do not open the exits if you see any fire, debris or smoke. If
you do, go to the nearest exit door and get out.” I pointed to the nearest door. I didn’t want to alarm them, so I made sure I told them this was for precaution only. “I am sure everything will be fine.” I showed them the proper hand placement on the window. After opening the window, you will lay it on the seat. When on the wing, someone needs to help the people out. Follow the arrows on the wing to exit. Send the people away from the aircraft. “Are there any questions?” They shook their heads no.

“Again, this is only for precaution.”

I went to the back of the aircraft. Colleen came out of the cockpit and joined us. We looked at each other for a second. Of course, what we really wanted to do was freak out, but we knew that would not be good. So being the professional flight attendants we were trained to be, we contained our emotions and got down to business.

We went over our commands for opening the emergency exits on our Super-80 aircraft. “At least you guys don’t have to open the back of the plane’s exit,” Bradley said. He was right: it is the worst door to operate of all of the aircrafts. It is downright scary. After opening the door, you have to walk out on a metal walkway for about six steps to see if indeed the slide had deployed, if not, you have to pull the manual inflation handle to blow the slide.

As the three of us were going over our commands, adrenalin kicked in. Colleen and I had simple commands: “Jump, don’t take anything with you. Jump, don’t take anything with you.” Bradley’s commands were lengthy and more confusing. Because of our adrenalin high, we laughed as we all went blank on his commands. After a few attempts at remembering, we finally got it right. “Stay on your feet, jump into the slide, don’t take anything with you. Stay on your feet, jump into the slide, don’t take anything with you.”

The captain came on the PA one last time. “Flight attendants, prepare for landing.” We did our safety checks in the cabin. This time I was extra careful in checking to make sure all bags were under the seat and that absolutely nothing was in the bulkhead section on the floor.

I made my way to the exit rows. There, the young lady with her professional business attire was trembling with tears running down her cheeks. I told her everything will be all right. I gave her some tissues and again said, “We will be fine.”

I sat down on my jumpseat with trepidation and put the seatbelt harness around my shoulders, making sure the safety belt was snug around my waist. I glanced at the flight attendant in the passenger seat. She had both feet planted on the ground with her hands placed on her thighs as if she were sitting on
the jumpseat. I winked at her and asked if she would be my assistant in case of an evacuation. She nodded yes.

Studying the exit door next to me, I mentally ran thru my evacuation procedures. My hand placement for opening that particular door would be palms down to grasp the handle, turn to the right and rotate. I observed the little window on the door. I would look out first to see if any fire or smoke is visible before opening. I would then locate the handle on the aircraft which I was to grab to keep me from being pushed out of the aircraft when passengers’ exited. A curtain was stuffed in the handle, so I removed it. I sat there trying not to think about the Sioux City airplane that cartwheeled and crashed in a field because of its hydraulic problem.

Glancing out the window, I of course said my prayers. As we were about to touch down, I signaled to Bradley, (whose jumpseat was located where there was no outside view), that this was it. I lowered my hand to the floor and then put both hands on my lap just as we were trained.

We landed with the back gear touching down first. The captain took a while in lowering the nose gear. I felt as if we were doing a wheelie there for a while. When the nose gear lowered on the runway, I heard a grinding noise beneath me, but it didn’t sound horrible. We continued speeding down the runway with emergency vehicles escorting us.

I looked at Bradley sitting in his jumpseat and excitedly gave him a high-five in the air. He gave one to me. I looked at the flight attendant next to me and gave the high-five sign as well. She returned the gesture. I then gave out a huge sigh of relief.

I knew we were not out of the woods until we came to a complete stop and there was no sign from the cockpit to evacuate.

After stopping the aircraft and hearing no signals, I finally began to relax.

Because of our hydraulic situation, there was no power to steer the aircraft. The landing gear doors are supposed to retract on their own but couldn’t without power, so that is why we heard the grinding noise. For some reason, it took nearly an hour to get a tug to where we were located on the runway.

After everyone got off the aircraft, Bradley, Colleen and I walked in the terminal. “Look at our aircraft,” Colleen said. I took pictures of our disabled landing gear. I told Colleen and Bradley I was glad they were with me on this flight because we all stayed calm and did exactly what we were supposed to do.

At the beginning of the flight, I remember looking down at the entrance door and seeing a dime. I also thanked my guardian angel.

h, the month of December; full airplanes filled with passengers cramming their luggage, Christmas packages, and heavy winter coats in the overhead bins. The weather delays are abundant because of the frequent de-icing procedures, heavy snowfall or foggy conditions. December means holidays which I just love but it also means cold and flu season. Delays and full planes are a given, but what really gets me is when people fly when they are very sick. You know; fever, coughing, sneezing, contagious, flu sick.

After we took off from West Palm Beach, Kim, our coach galley flight attendant, was setting up the beverage cart for our service. When she was finished, we maneuvered the cart in the aisle (which by the way weighs more than 200 pounds.) A female passenger tapped me on the shoulder. “I need to use the restroom right now,” she whispered. We quickly returned the cart in the galley for her to pass by.

After completing our service, I was eating an apple in the galley. I glanced to my left and saw the same lady drop to the floor next to me. I immediately grabbed her to break her fall. She was still conscious. I yelled, “Kim, help me lift her in the empty seat.” I put the air vent on her pale face and asked if she was on any medication. She said in a whisper, “I have the flu.” First her daughter was contaminated, and then her husband, and now it was her turn.
I wondered who would be next
.

I put a cold cloth on her forehead. She looked at me with an alarmed look and said, “I think I am going to be sick.” I quickly grabbed a barf bag from the seatback pocket and asked Kim to hand me a big silver bag that we use to pick up trash in the cabin. As I opened the barf bag to give to the woman, she vomited immediately. She was too fast for me to pull my hands away and threw up on my hands as well as in the bag.

The restrooms were all occupied as I gazed at my fingers spattered with vomit. I won’t go into the smell. I quickly grabbed vodka from the liquor drawer and poured it all over my forearms, hands and fingers.

The very next flight from Chicago to Dallas, another female passenger, probably in her early 20’s, stopped us in the middle of the aisle. “I don’t feel very well; I need to get by.” This time I yelled at Kim, “GET THE CART BACK IN THE
GALLEY NOW!” I didn’t want to get puked on twice in the same day!

While we continued with our service, Kim went to check on the passenger in the restroom. She returned to me horrified. The young girl threw up in the sink, and it was filled to the brim.
Why didn’t she thrown up in the toilet?
Kim said she locked off the lavatory.

The line was getting rather long during the flight with only one lavatory available (thanks to our sick passenger). If it were me, I would have had the courtesy to at least clean up my own mess. I did check on her during the flight and offered some ice chips. I wanted to say to her in a nice way that toilets flush, sinks do not, but I kept my mouth shut.

Toward the end of the flight, the sick girl was next in line for the lavatory. I needed to wash my hands, so I waited until she came out. I walked in and just about gagged. The sink was completely full again. She did not even attempt to drain it. We had to close the only remaining coach restroom. Luckily, it was time to land.

Upon arrival in Dallas, the cleaners entered the aircraft from the back stairs. “Which one of you lucky guys gets to clean the lavatories?” I chuckled.

He opened the restroom door and at least had a sense of humor about it. “Oh, she had pizza for lunch, he said jokingly. No, I think it was rice and beans.”

Of course, he loved the reaction Kim and I gave him, “Eeeew.”

On the very next trip, I was welcoming passengers aboard standing in front of the cockpit door. The first officer excused his way through so he could do his routine walk around. (Before every departure, one of the pilots does a safety check that includes walking around the airplane, checking for anything abnormal.)

After completing the job, the first officer passed by me again and sat down in the right seat of the cockpit. While I was still welcoming everyone onboard, I heard him say, “What is on my sleeve?” I glanced in the cockpit. A huge brown spot dotted his white shirt. Instinctively, he rubbed it with his hand and smelled it. He yelled out, “It’s crap! I have crap on my shirt.” He looked on his seat and there it was also. A big, brown gooey stain on the sheepskin cockpit seat!

At first we couldn’t believe it. Who could have done such a thing? How could this have happened? I gave him some napkins soaked in club soda, but I assured him I wasn’t going to clean him up.

Needless to say, we took a very long delay while our maintenance team tried to locate another cockpit seat cushion. The captain and first officer weren’t going to smell that for the whole trip.

An hour passed and emotions calmed down a bit. After getting over the shock of it all, we realized the first officer must have stepped too close to the lavatory dump truck during his walk around. The sewage must have splashed on him while they were draining the toilets. When he sat down in the seat, his shirt rubbed against the cushion. We all got a good laugh on that one!

I went to use the restroom a little later. I opened the door and there lay a puddle of urine on the floor near the stool.
Why can’t men aim directly in the toilet?

“Ahh yes, what a glamorous job!”

ne great benefit with our job is the flexibility of trading, dropping, or picking up trips from other flight attendants. I received a phone call from a fellow crew member the day before my two-day trip that was flying out of West Palm Beach. She had a two-day trip flying out of Miami on the same days as mine but didn’t feel like driving all the way down there, so she asked if I would be interested in trading. Her trip had only one leg to Las Vegas and one leg back to Miami the next day scheduled to arrive at 1:30 p.m. My two-day trip was much harder, flying three legs the first day with a later scheduled arrival of 6 p.m. on Saturday. Miami airport takes me about two hours and ten minutes to drive. Palm Beach airport takes me a little more than an hour. After careful deliberation, (especially being home earlier) I said I would trade with her.