Father of the Man (36 page)

HESTER

(Cont) Wouldn’t it be wonderful to write a symphony or concerto? I’d rather have been a composer than practically anything. Oh, how I wish that as a child I’d kept up my piano lessons—persevered like Ellen.

HAROLD

I never had piano lessons. I wish I’d been made to.

HESTER

Weren’t your parents fond of music?

HAROLD

My father may have been. But he was consumptive—died when I was only two. So I was brought up by just my mother.

HESTER

Oh, you poor boy. That must have been dreadful. (Pause) I mean—your father dying.

HAROLD

Yes. People don’t always understand what it’s like to have no father.

HESTER

Never! Not unless they have experienced it themselves.

HAROLD

Why, did your own father…?

HESTER

Yes, he died when I was six.

HAROLD

I’m sorry.

HESTER

But then, of course, I had my five sisters. So—awful though it was—it must have been a great deal more so for an only child. (Pause) Coincidentally, Flora’s father also died when she was young. (Pause) My own beloved Max…

HAROLD

I know. Yes. I mean—

HESTER

Of course, my husband was a lot older than me: more than twenty years—it didn’t seem so much of an age gap in those days. But he was never strong…shell shock, you know, during the First World War. And we’d been married for nearly fifteen years before Flora came along. Up until then there’d been a whole series of miscarriages and…And I would have liked a larger family but…but it simply wasn’t to be. Yet why should I be boring you with such very old history? Perhaps, after all, I ought to go and find you that newspaper.

HAROLD

No, no, of course not. Flora’s quite a chatterbox but…But I didn’t know you’d been through all of this sort of thing.

HESTER

Flora’s just a young girl. She has her head full of dancing and dresses and romantic novels. She…Harold, there is nobody in this world whom I love more than Flora. But I think it won’t come as any surprise to you to learn she isn’t exactly the most…the most…How can I put it? Well, I always tried to interest her in things. I sent her to the best schools. She was lively and pretty and very popular. But when it came to her studies she had virtually no curiosity, no application. Which mightn’t have mattered so much if I’d been lucky and had all the children I wanted—because clearly, if you have six children, there’s room for six personality types: the serious and the frivolous, the obedient and the self-willed…(Laughs) Do you know, I don’t believe Flora’s ever properly stood up to me? Apart from that one very major exception, which perhaps it’s more tactful not to mention right now—although it’s unquestionably the sort of exception, I’m afraid, which really does prove the rule. And it isn’t precisely that one wants rebellious children…

HAROLD

Well, hardly.

HESTER

I was never very tractable, you see, and I suppose it’s merely that—to some extent—one may want a copy of oneself. What arrogance! In reality, I should probably hate to have any such thing. Would we ever leave off fighting?

HAROLD

(Pause) And, anyway, I can’t imagine anything worse than having six children. Why, even to bring
one
new life onto this planet as it is today…

HESTER

But Flora wants children.

HAROLD

No, she doesn’t. Before we got married she was well aware of my views on that subject and she endorsed them absolutely.

HESTER

Now, haven’t I just intimated to you? (Humorously but with underlying annoyance) Her will can be bent by anyone, the very last person she’s spoken to, be it her cleaner or even her husband. Besides, hasn’t it ever occurred to you that I might rather like grandchildren?

HAROLD

In a world already so vastly overpopulated? In a world that stands on the very brink of self- destruction?

HESTER

(Impatiently) Yes, I know all that but are you sure you’re not just rationalizing? (Tongue-in-cheek) Oh, it’s a messy business bringing up children. It Interferes with your freedoms and your temper. Can quite blow away your comfort.

HAROLD

(Apparently unaware of the sarcasm) I thought you were the woman who advocated six. Oh, of course! In your day you had nannies and parlourmaids and things.

HESTER

(Sweetly) And more unselfish natures.

HAROLD

(Without rancour) Nonsense.

HESTER

No, I think people do seem to be growing more and more selfish. More materialistic. Naturally, during the war it was different, but the war has been over for twelve years now and we don’t seem to have learned very much from it, do we?

HAROLD

I’m only surprised you thought we should.

HESTER

You are a pessimist, aren’t you?

HAROLD

In that case, we obviously have much in common.

HESTER

(Surprised) Me? I’m not a pessimist. I’m the biggest optimist the world has ever known.

HAROLD

Certainly the biggest optimist the world has ever known who believes that human nature is fast deteriorating.

HESTER

I wouldn't say that, precisely.

HAROLD

You did say that, precisely.

HESTER

(Slightly confused) Nevertheless, I’m extremely hopeful for the future. I think that men are capable of great things if only they would stop behaving like animals and start behaving like superior beings. (Pause) And I’m thoroughly enjoying this conversation—did you know that? It’s not often I get the chance to talk to somebody who
thinks
. In fact—I don’t mind telling you—that’s always been one of my severest disappointments.

HAROLD

(Clearly flattered but trying to hide it) Aren’t there societies you could join? Debating societies?

HESTER

No, no. Everyone wanting to talk rather than—like me—just listen. Everyone wanting to take centre stage. I can’t abide that.

HAROLD

Then what about your sisters? They all live very close.

HESTER

They do, yes, and they’re dear, sweet women, all of them, but though I do say it myself I’m the one who’s inherited the brains of the family—such as they are—well, in all fairness, Ellen too, I suppose. Yet we were born at the wrong time. To be
your
age today…oh, what a marvel that would be! But to have been born in the Edwardian era, brought up by Victorian parents with Victorian ideas, ideas about a woman’s education and a woman’s place in society and about marriage and divorce and respectability…Oh, Harold, how very lucky you are! If only I had been a man! A man then or a girl now—a girl now wouldn’t be so bad, although a man still has an easier time of it…

HAROLD

Do you really think so? Slogging his life away at the office in a job he more often than not…detests?

HESTER

(Too preoccupied to have heard) And since I wasn’t a man myself—nor a woman born in the right period—I wanted at least to be able to give birth to boys: to
boys
: lusty, grabbing, cast-iron boys. And one of my miscarriages didn’t happen until early in the sixth month and they said it would have been a boy. Then how I howled! Not in self-pity but in rage. For, oh, how I myself should then have been born again—what times, what plans, what lives we should have shared…Questing! Vital! Triumphant! (More soberly) But I’m very glad I didn’t have a brother. I’d have been so jealous…(Suddenly aware that she has revealed more than she meant. Goes on hurriedly—lightly) If I’d been a boy, I would have run away to sea!

HAROLD

(Seizing with some relief upon this) And probably you’d have been seasick.

HESTER

Yes, I would. But what a nothing price to pay! Oh, the glory of having been a traveller! An explorer! An adventurer!

HAROLD

Haven’t you travelled?

HESTER

(Scornfully) Indeed I have. To such places as Le Touquet and Monte Carlo and Venice—and Amsterdam—and, ah yes, Vienna.

HAROLD

And Paris, also? Surely?

HESTER

Yes, I’ve also been to Paris.

HAROLD

(Pause) I’m sorry.

HESTER

What for?

HAROLD

I don’t know. For all of it, I suppose. Or perhaps for sounding as though I didn’t understand. Or something. There’ve been many times, too, when
I’ve
wanted to run away.

HESTER

To do what?

HAROLD

That’s just it—I never knew. I simply wanted to run away.

HESTER

How sad!

HAROLD

Yes.

HESTER

You could have joined the circus. Or is it just a myth that little boys want to run away to join the circus?

HAROLD

I’ve never liked circuses.

HESTER

Nor have I.

HAROLD

I’ve only been once. I was scared to watch the aerialists. Felt sorry for the animals—plus, on the whole, found them distinctly boring. And I didn’t think the clowns were funny.

HESTER

My own sentiments—all of them.

HAROLD

The only thing that made me laugh was when an elephant…

HESTER

Yes?

HAROLD

(Deciding to go ahead)…peed over some people in the front row. But that made
everybody
laugh.

HESTER

Except the people in the front row…Still, it would have been an experience. Something to boast about. Something to dine out on. “I once got peed on by an elephant.” Few people could match that. (They laugh.) Take another drink, my dear.

HAROLD

I’m not sure I should. I already feel quite merry.

HESTER

And it suits you. I must say, it really does suit you. Though, of course, it’s not just the alcohol. It’s equally…

HAROLD

The company. The conversation.

HESTER

Well, thank you, Harold. That’s a very nice thing to say.

HAROLD

But true.

HESTER

And totally reciprocated.

HAROLD

Well, just a small one, then. (Goes to help himself) But don’t forget I have to drive.

HESTER

You could always take a taxi. And come back later, both of you, to pick up the car and tell me all about your evening.

HAROLD

But are you going to keep me company? Another sherry?

HESTER

Yes, please, darling. (Quickly) Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. Mere slip of the tongue. (Pause) And then I shouldn’t have drawn attention to it, should I? We could’ve pretended it hadn’t happened.

HESTER

(Cont) No—how absurd! Why shouldn’t a mother-in-law call her only son-in-law ‘darling’? Isn’t he one of the family? Indeed, isn’t it a mother-in-law’s prerogative to be able to flirt a little? Especially, of course, when he’s such a very handsome son-in-law. (HAROLD, embarrassed again, hands her her drink) Thank you…darling.

HAROLD

That’s all right.

HESTER

As a matter of fact I never realized, until this evening, that you were actually so handsome. Which is possibly just as well. Otherwise I might have found myself a fraction jealous of my own daughter. (Pause) What it was, I think—you lacked the animation. I hadn’t seen you animated before. (Pause) Indeed, I never realized several things until this evening.

HAROLD

(Curious—flattered—and, indeed, something rather more) Such as?

HESTER

Such as—let me see, now—you don’t like circuses.

HAROLD

Which makes us even. That’s something I’ve also found out about you.

HESTER

Ah, but I’m a lot more complex than you are. I think I liked them slightly more.

HAROLD

What depth of character!

HESTER

You see, I loved the horses. I was always quite mad on horses. And then I have a daughter who…well, I thought, “When she’s old enough we’ll have such fun, we’ll go riding together, she can even have her own pony!” And then what happens? The unnatural child is scared silly of the poor beasts. Would you believe it? It’s as much of a myth, perhaps, about girls and horses as it is about boys and circuses. (Pause) Also, I’ve discovered that you were always wanting to run away but that you had nowhere to run to. Now, that was absolutely awful. Lonely, lost; romantic, striving. How I would have felt for you, how I would have longed to bring you comfort—to reach out and clasp that homeless, questing hand! Also I’ve discovered…But no. Now it’s your turn. Perhaps I’ve robbed you of your powers of speech?

HAROLD

You…you say that you enjoy riding?

HESTER

Riding? It’s my very favourite sport.

HAROLD

That’s incredible.

HESTER

Don’t tell me that you, too…?

HAROLD

Oh, yes!
Yes
! How often do you go?
Where
do you go?

HESTER

Well, I haven’t been for years. No one to go with. But I used to ride a lot at Radlett and then, too, there’s a stable near Moor Park, and—

HAROLD

I haven’t ridden for years, either. Hester, sometime couldn’t we ride together? Doing things alone is never half so good.

HESTER

Because you’ve no one to keep you up to scratch, no one to laugh with!

HAROLD

No one to compete with! (They laugh) You’ve been quite a revelation, too.

HESTER

I have?

HAROLD

Yes, do you know, I didn’t even want to come here tonight? I tried to persuade Flora to meet me in the West End. But she insisted…and it looked as if she might begin to sulk.

HESTER

Flora’s always been a little spoilt. That’s what comes of being so pretty.

HAROLD

Yes…How can one be so wrong about people?

HESTER

You’re right. I’ll never again put my trust in first impressions.

HAROLD

Did you know, that was the original title of
Pride and Prejudice
?

HESTER

But I would never have expected you to. Not, that is, until tonight.

HAROLD

Still waters…

HESTER

The strong and silent type.

HAROLD

He who walks alone…I’m sounding smug but it’s true. I don’t have many friends. (Suddenly) May I pour myself another drink?

HESTER

Harold, do you think you should?

HAROLD

To celebrate friendship.

HESTER

Of course! Then why not? Live dangerously! (HAROLD pours more whisky) But you will phone for a taxi? (He nods) And you will try not to fall asleep in the theatre? That wouldn’t be fair on Flora.

HAROLD

Oh, I can tell you—not a faint chance of my falling asleep!