Fearless (22 page)

“I… I didn’t know you were awake,” she stammered.

I exchanged places with Kenny and made a quick retreat out the door. I had a feeling they needed to be alone for a while.

Kenny worked his way around the bed to Mom’s side of the room where she stood in front of the window, wide eyed, with her mouth hanging open.

Beams of California sunlight fell across the walls, bathing the room in a warm yellow glow. Funny thing, I had never noticed before the bright appearance of the small cramped bedroom space. I took one last glance back and saw Kenny take Mom’s hand in both of his. They stood face to face, smiling into each other’s eyes. In the last moment before I ducked out the door, I heard him say, “Emily, my dear, how could I sleep through that story? I’m so happy you’re here.”

Chapter 25

Niki

I tapped my fingers on the surface of a small table at the side of the cramped recording studio Kat had rented. It was nothing like West Side Studios, but at least nobody was scamming her here. She was recording the vocals for her CD and I was watching her through a glass window. She stood in front of a large microphone, wearing large black headphones. I saw her mouth forming the words but I heard nothing, as I was sitting in an area where I wouldn’t disturb the recording process.

Jesse was supposed to call, any minute, to let me know when he was on his way. He was taking me on another motorcycle ride, up into the hills of Hollywood to see the Hollywood sign, as soon as he could get off work. I wanted nothing more than to spend my time with my arms wrapped around his hard body, pressed up against his back, feeling the rush of the wind, instead of being in a dark boring studio. Jesse had me hooked. Who’d have thought I would get into motorcycles?

 But Kat had made me, ’promise, promise, promise,’ I would come and watch her record. After her last bad experience at this studio, she begged me to come along as her bodyguard. When we got in the car to drive over I asked her if I was supposed to be her ‘muscle,’ because I was certainly no threat to anyone. She told me she had her own muscles and I was her sidekick, at which I had to roll my eyes and give her a slap on the arm.

This time, thanks to Conner, the studio assistant we met the day we discovered she had been scammed, the session was going smooth. Okay, I still wanted to call him Elvis, but not in front of Kat. She seemed to like him and if I didn’t get his name right, I’d catch an endless bunch of crap from her about it.

The moment the table top buzzed, from the vibration of my phone, my eyes lit up, but my mood took an immediate dive when I saw the call was from my dad instead of Jesse. I hurried out of the studio and took the call.

“Niki, I heard you were in New York.”

“How did you know that?”

“I’m a lawyer, Niki. I have my ways. Why were you in New York?”

“I was with Jesse. He had a meeting with his racing team managers. Oh and Dad, I really have something I want to tell you…about being a fashion designer. I know for sure…”

“Uh huh, I see…”

He was stalling. What was he doing? I had visions of him sitting at this work desk, guiding the mouse of his computer, reading emails while we were talking. It was rare for him to simply talk on the phone and not be jotting down notes or clicking on the computer screen.

 
“Dad, are you busy? Because if you’re busy we can talk later.”

“That’s all good but…”

Geez, he’s not even listening. Who was he talking to? I strained to hear the muffled voice of whoever he was talking to, in his office, beside me. He came back to our conversation.

“Sure, Niki let’s do that. Let’s have lunch and talk about a plan of action.”

“Dad, I don’t need your plans. I have my own.”

“I know, Niki and I support them, hear me out. Come meet me for lunch. Give me half an hour of your time…I have another call…I have to take this.”

“Okay, when?”

“Thursday at Spago’s at 1:00.”

“Alright, Dad.” I scowled at my phone as I ended the call.

As I walked back into the studio a text banner popped up on the top of my phone saying Jesse was outside, waiting on the Harley. Warm thoughts replaced the sour feeling that the conversation with my Dad had left. I pounded out a reply with my finger and chucked the phone in my purse. I gave Kat the ‘see ya later’ wave through the recording booth window and dashed out of the recording studio, skipping down the short flight of stairs to the lobby, my excitement pushing me to forgo the elevator.

~*~*~*~

I had learned by now to wear long pants and boots for motorcycle rides and I was equipped in protective gear as Jesse drove us up the steep dirt road into the hills overlooking Hollywood. He stopped the bike at the top, as close as sightseers were allowed to get to the famous sign, and we got off to take in the view. In the past, visitors had been able to go right up to the giant letters, but unfortunately, due to vandalism and gang tagging, the sign was now enclosed in a chain link fence, with a barbed wire top.

Jesse set his helmet on the black leather seat of the Harley, next to mine. He stepped over to where I stood, admiring the stretch of green trees as a gentle wind lifted the shorter strands of my hair that had escaped from my pony tail. He slipped his arms around my waist from behind and scanned the horizon, pressing me against his body.

“Look at all those trees. Who would believe that this is L.A.?” he said in a soft voice near my ear.

I gave a nod and a barely audible, “Mmm, huh.” His touch felt good, like Dreamsicles and sunshine, and I leaned into him, wanting more. He nibbled at my ear, my neck, and I turned my head as far as I could to reach for a quick taste of his lips without leaving my cocoon.

After a few minutes of silence he asked, “Babe, what’s up? You’re very quiet today.”

I pursed my lips at the worrisome thoughts tumbling around in my head.

“My dad called, right before you came to pick me up.”

He was silent and waiting. “He wants to meet for lunch and talk about my plans, which really means his plans for me.”

“How bad can it be?”

“I suppose he could cut me off financially, ruin my plans for school.”

“He’s agreed to pay so far, but if he drops a bomb on you and says he won’t pay anymore, screw him. I can pay.”

“I don’t think he’s going to pull his support. He seems agreeable to me being enrolled at FIDM. But, even so, I don’t want you to be forced to take care of me. I can take care of myself.”

I envied people like Jesse, who thought life was just that easy. Although I had been striking out on my own lately, following my dreams and standing up to my dad, I had to face the fact that I was financially dependent on him. I had never had a job in my life; not even a part-time job, like working at a fast food restaurant. I needed to take my independence another step further, but how? Kat had never had a job, other than her music gigs, either. Chase had two jobs and Jesse had his job at Rookies, though I wondered if Kenny even paid him for that since business was so slow when I first met him.

Whatever the case may be, I felt bad that I had to rely on men for my livelihood and the thought of trading one benefactor for another didn’t sound like the best idea. I did not want to be indebted to him.

“I know he’s up to something.”

Jesse put his hand on my shoulder and turned me to face him. “Just know that I’m here for you no matter what. You can count on me.”

“I know, babe.”

He smiled and kissed me.

Chapter 26

Niki

Thursdays were my short day of classes; there was only one, late in the afternoon. I made a habit of stopping by Rookies before class, to spend some time with Jesse. Today was no different, but it was also the day I was to meet my dad for lunch.

When I arrived, Jesse was preparing the bar for the midday crowd. After a long, slow kiss of his perfectly shaped lips, I dropped my tote bag on the floor and slid onto the nearest bar stool to watch him work. He pushed his hand through his hair and I thought I might just jump right over the bar top and drag him into the back room. That move with his hand still got me all hot and bothered.

His blue eyes sparkled as he leaned his elbows onto the slick surface of the bar top and announced, “I’ve got some good news.”

“Great, that’s my favorite flavor. What is it?”

“I got a call from Laurent. The contract has now been finalized so, guess what? You’re coming to Milan with me for a whole month!” He gave me a big grin and made the ‘shaka’ sign. “Shaka, shaka, baby!”

My eyes grew wide as saucers. “Whaaat? That’s great, Jesse, but you mean
you
are going to Milan.”

“Niki, I want you to come with me, and before you say no, you can’t afford it, I talked to Laurent about it and your airfare has already been calculated into the budget.”

I was speechless; the idea of going to Italy with Jesse was mind blowing.

“Oh my God, Jesse, oh my God! Why didn’t you say anything about this before?”

“Didn’t want to get your hopes up. I wanted to run it by Laurent first and get their approval before I opened my big mouth. Just think, you could see the fashion center of Italy, hell it’s probably the fashion capital of all of Europe.”

“No, sweetie, Paris is, but I’ll go for Milan, it comes in a close second!” I was happier than a kid in a candy store. Dare I imagine all of the possibilities of Milan? They all swam in my head, having a happy party, until logic jumped in and brought the fun thoughts to a screeching halt.

“What about my classes…school? I can’t just ditch classes for a month.”

Jesse came around the bar to stand next to me and cupped my face in his hands. Gazing into my eyes he lowered his voice to a sexy purr and said, “Come to Italy with me, Niki. I want you with me. I have to be there for over a month and I don’t think I can stand to be away from your sweet lips for that long.”

His eyes could have been lasers, for all I knew, because they shot through me to the core and melted me into a puddle. It was difficult to form the words with my mouth, now that I was a puddle, but I stammered and said, “I…I’ll have to see if I can rearrange my classes…”

~*~*~*~

I stared at my dad across the small table at Spago’s restaurant, set with Italian bread and a plate of olive oil for dipping. He looked handsome in his dark suit; sharp, with the crisp white cuffs of a dress shirt peeking out of his jacket sleeves, very much the way a lawyer should look.

I narrowed my eyes. “What did you want to talk about?” I asked hesitantly. I was already convinced this scene would play out much like all the others. He talks, I listen. He checks his watch a gazillion times, then checks his phone a gazillion more. He lays down the law, which is always his way or the highway. We get interrupted and suddenly he has a pressing engagement and exits in a hurry, leaving half his food uneaten on the plate.

He started talking and cut right to the chase. He always did.

“I think I might be onto something here, Niki. You said on the phone you went to New York…how did that go?”

My stomach twisted with nervous trepidation. I imagined buckets of acid being wrung out of my internal organs. Why did it always have to be like this? I knew what he was hinting at. What he really wanted was to know about Jesse and how the two of us were getting along. It was no secret that he didn’t like Jesse. Whatever his opinion was of Jesse, my choice of a guy, a job, or anything in my life, would always be the wrong one in my dad’s eyes.

I closed my eyes for a moment, searching for something to give me strength. I remembered how Jesse never criticized my decisions or my career choices. I thought of how confident he was, in everything he did. Even if Jesse made a bad choice, like punching some guy in the nose, he acted with conviction and led with his heart.

I decided it was time for me to do the same. I took a deep breath and launched into my spiel, with the decision that it was better to lay it all out on the table, speak from the heart, and just be myself, because I’m a pretty damn good person, if I say so myself.

“Listen, Dad, Jesse took me to New York for business, but I had a chance to stay in the fashion design capital of the U.S. I have to tell you, it was awesome. The stores, the shops…Manhattan was fantastic. I even went shopping for fabric for my next school project. But Dad, the most amazing thing happened while I was shopping. It was kind of mystical and eerie…I got goose bumps when it happened, but don’t freak out, I’m not going all hippie weird on you or anything. It’s just that when I was walking through the Garment District, I had this epiphany. It was like Mom was there, when I was sorting through the fabrics imagining what I could make with them, it’s like she was communicating with me. She was guiding my hands, helping me pick the right fabric, like what would go with this one, or imagine what I could make with that one.

“Dad, I know you don’t really see the value in my fashion design career, but I know Mom supports me from…wherever she is. I don’t mean to sound disrespectful, Dad, but whatever you have to say…I’m not going back to law school, I can’t do it.” I paused for a moment and stared at him again, waiting for all hell to break lose. I winced. “Are you mad at me?”

He had been chewing his food and, to my surprise, he was listening. He set down his fork, took a sip of his iced tea and cleared his throat. “As a matter of fact, Niki, that’s what I was going to talk to you about. First of all, no, I’m not mad. People don’t get mad, only rabid dogs go mad. People get angry. Therefore, am I angry with you? No. I understand your argument. Secondly, I have come to terms with your notion of being a fashion designer and not a lawyer. Go ahead, take your classes, sew some clothes, do whatever it is you need to do to be happy, you have my blessing.”

I let out a breath. I couldn’t believe it. My lawyer dad finally agreed with me on something. Maybe I should be an attorney after all. No, no. Just kidding.

“That’s great, Dad. I’m glad you see it my way, because I was just given a fantastic opportunity to study abroad.”