Fearless (23 page)

“Why that sounds wonderful, Niki. Will you be studying fashion at The University of Paris, or another university? Which one is your study abroad program coordinated with?”

“Oh, it’s not through a school program, Jesse is taking me. He’s going to be located in Italy for Motocross training and he’s taking me along. I’m going to study fashion in Milan and all the design hot spots while he races.”

“No Niki, you’re not.”

Well, there it was. The other shoe finally dropped. I kicked myself for thinking that anything would be different, that I could have outwitted my dad, that my happiness mattered to him for one iota.

“I would not advise such a foolish plan. You may think you know this man, but you don’t. I’ve met the likes of him before. You would be traveling with him as nothing more than… an escort, a kept woman for his pleasure, if you know what I mean. See the writing on the wall, Niki. Instead of putting your nose in pretty boy’s lap you should be putting your nose in a book and finishing this school. This Jesse guy is not virtuous, Niki. He’s the kind of guy who meets a sweet girl like you when he’s too young and he fucks up because there’s too much left to do. He will be sleeping around behind your back with every starry-eyed girl he meets on the road. You’re better off without him. He will just mess it up for you, Niki. Trust me, I know his type. I meet guys like him every day, through my job; rock stars, musicians, actors… And I know you…”

“You don’t know me and you certainly don’t know Jesse. You haven’t taken the time to talk to him or anything. All you did was scream and yell like a mad man and humiliate me in front of him at your house. He’s a goddamn hero, he saved his uncle’s life and I want to be with him.”

“I’m your father and I know more about life than you do. Trust me, Jesse is just trouble on a motorcycle…You think you have a relationship with him? Ha. He’s years away from having any kind of a meaningful relationship with a woman. The best thing you could do is just walk away from Jesse.”

“Who are you right now? I thought you would be happy for me. You don’t care about anyone but yourself. I don’t care what you say, I’m still doing it.”

“Over my dead body.”

“You can’t tell me what to do.”

“Yes, Niki, I can.”

“Why? Because you hold the purse strings?”

“Because I’m your fucking father, that’s why.”

“Ha! Some father you are.”

“Jesus Christ, Niki, have some respect. I’ve given you everything. I put you through college, tried to pave the way for you to have a good life. I have even agreed to support you in your new career choice. I get it now; you don’t want to be a lawyer, you have your own dream. I get it. And I will continue to pay your rent and cover all of your expenses. Listen, Niki, put some goddamn sense in your mind. Think about what Mom would want for you. She would want you to be smart about this and that’s what I’m offering you, the smart decision.”

I sat like a stone, my face expressionless, staring at the water glass in front of me as it weeped condensation, sinking into my chair like a ton of bricks had been placed on my heart.

“Here’s what I’ll do for you. I’ll pay your rent, pay your car, phone; I’ll even pay for your fashion classes. I’ll let you follow your dream. When you told me about what happened in New York with your mom, I felt it too. That’s why I’m going to offer you something equally as exciting. I am willing to pay for you to study in New York after you finish your FIDM classes here.”

“Why would you do that, Dad?” I asked flatly. I moved like a robot just going through the motions now.

“Because you’re my daughter, you’re my blood. There’s just one thing…” He leaned one elbow on the table, clenched his teeth and jabbed his finger at me. …you stay away from that fucker Jesse.” He spat the words in a low voice, so as not to create a scene in the restaurant. “He’s no good for you, Niki. Do it my way, I pay for everything. Do it your way, with Jesse…you’re on your own. Give me back the car, give me back the cell phone, no more paid tuition. You’ll be dropped from your classes and kicked out of that school. You think you can get a job and make it on your own, without me? You’ve never had a job, you have no skills to put on a resume. Who the hell’s going to hire you? And that ridiculous flower child friend of yours… she won’t pay your half of the rent for you.

“Think about it, Niki. Kick that fucker to the curb, he’s not worth losing everything that I can give you.”

He sat back into the polished mahogany chair, arrogantly cocking one arm over the backrest. He tossed his white linen napkin onto his plate and said, “What’s your decision, Niki? Do you want a chance to fulfill your vision, your dreams, or would you rather be a groupie and follow him around? It’s as simple as that.”

Chapter 27

Jesse

The white teddy bear had Niki’s smell all over it, elegant and sophisticated, just like her. The bear was pretty worn-out. She said it had been with her ever since she was a kid, back at boarding school. She left it at my place, the last time she slept over. The last time we lay, together, in each other’s arms, skin to skin, heart to heart. I placed the bear carefully on top of the pile of clothes already packed in my suitcase and exhaled.

“You sure you’ve got everything, Jess?” Kenny asked.

I look down at my two suitcases. One was zipped and leaning against the bedroom door, the other was still open, on the bed, waiting for the last item to be added. “Yep, all packed. Let’s roll. I’d like to get there early. I need to get my ticket first.”

“I didn’t take you for a teddy bear guy. Afraid of getting homesick?” Kenny chuckled.

I lifted the furry bear from his perch on my suitcase and looked at the lopsided red bow of the ribbon around its neck. “It’s Niki’s. I thought it might help…you know, when I miss her.” I frowned at the stupid thing, suddenly feeling foolish for wanting to take it along. “Ah, maybe not.” I tossed the bear onto the bed and zipped the suitcase shut. “Be sure to give it to her when you see her, okay?”

“No problem, Jess. Hey, I’m sorry she couldn’t make it, but it’s a long time for her to be out of school.”

“Yeah, well. There is a little more to it than just the school,” I said and yanked the last suitcase off the bed.

“What do you mean? I thought you said she had to stay home because she couldn’t miss a whole month of classes?”

“That’s what she told me, but I had a feeling there was more to it than just that, so…I called Kat and she confirmed it. Actually, I tricked her into telling me that it’s her dad who is behind it. Kat thought I already knew.”

“Her dad? Oh, I see.”

“Yeah, her dad still has her completely under his thumb and I guess Niki was too embarrassed to tell me. She has been trying so hard to break free from him, but he does provide a lot of things for her. Things that are tough to say goodbye to. Apparently he offered to pay for her to study fashion in New York after she finishes school here. Only the offer comes with one condition; she can’t see me anymore.”

“Wow, I’m so sorry, Jess. But don’t give up hope. Love is a peculiar thing and it often conquers the biggest obstacles. A lot can happen in a month. For all you know, she could be right here waiting for you when you come back.”

Kenny gave me an understanding pat on my back and grabbed one of the bags. “Wow, this is heavy. What the heck did you pack in here? A body?”

“I’ll get it, man. You are still weak from all the chemo, I’m sure.”

I grabbed the two suitcases and heaved them into the trunk of Kenny’s sporty black muscle car.

~*~*~*~

“Thanks for taking me to the airport,” I said as the Camaro crept along in rush hour traffic on the 405 Freeway towards LAX.

“No worries. It’s a bitch to pay for long-term parking…costs a fortune. Besides, I owe you a million more favors than a lift to the airport, for saving my life and my business.”

“You sure you’re ready to be back full-time at Rookies?”

“You bet I am. I can’t wait. The whole reason I opened the place was because I love operating a bar, watching people be happy and have a little fun in life, even if the fun is found in that one beer at the end of the work week. I missed it and you know, Jesse, I realized while I was sick that in order for a man to be happy, he needs a purpose in his life. Something to look forward to every day or… someone.” He glanced over at me with a look that made me wonder if he was talking about himself anymore.

“That’s good. I’m glad Chase and I didn’t fuck it all up while you were sick. So, what’s going on with you and Mom? Have you two decided on how to move forward?”

Kenny looked at me. “Not really. We’re just taking it slow. See what happens, you know? The flame that burned so hot many years ago might still have a little life left. We’ll see.” He chuckled and smiled as he spoke. I could tell he was hopeful about the possibility. I was glad that at least someone was making headway in their relationship.

“Be sure to say goodbye to Mom, will you?”

“Of course. I’m surprised she didn’t come with us to see you off.”

“Nah, you know mom. She isn’t much for goodbyes. I guess she had her fair share.”

Kenny nodded in understanding and soon after, he nosed the Camaro curbside and stopped in front of the entrance to the international terminal at LAX. “All right. Stay safe, Jess. Don’t get in any trouble over there. I hear that the Italian police can be pretty tough on troublemakers.”

“Don’t worry. I’m a changed man now, Kenny.” I gave him a crooked smile, thinking I could have just as easily called him Dad. It was beginning to feel like his role in my life had changed, too. I took the suitcases out of the trunk, hurled them onto a trolley, and slung the backpack that would be my carry-on over one shoulder.

“Call us when you get there, so we know you’ve arrived safely.”

“I will.” We did the big bear hug goodbye and I entered the terminal, where I found a huge open area, full of milling travelers, their kids and their bags. I scouted out Alitalia Airlines and easily found the service desk where I would pick up my ticket.

The line to the ticket counter was pretty short and a couple of minutes later I gave my passport to a sharply dressed woman behind the counter.

“I’m here to pick up my ticket to Milan. My name is Jesse Morrison.”

She looked up and smiled, “Let’s see…Jesse Morrison. Yes, two tickets to Milan. I just need the other passenger’s passport also, please.”

“There’s no other passenger, there was a change of plans. It will only be me flying today.” I sighed and handed her my passport. Her eyes briefly flicked down to the passport, then up again to mine. I thought for a fraction of a second I saw the slightest twitch at the corner of her mouth. Was it a smile? Was she flirting?

“Thank you Mr. Morrison. Umm…I think this young lady behind you is trying to get your attention.”

She nodded her head and I turned. There was Niki, standing right behind me, her beautiful face beaming a wide smile.

“Niki! What are you doing here? I thought you had class today? Did you come to say goodbye?”

“That’s a lot of questions.” She laughed. “As it turns out, I won’t be having classes for a while.” Her eyes sparkled as she looked straight at me in anticipation.

“I hope you’re not joking, because that would just be cruel.” I turned completely to face her, and she looked up into my eyes.

“I’m not. I want to come with you.”

“But…what about your dad and the whole, ‘I’ll pay for everything but only if you break up with that dude…’?”

“Kat told me you had tricked her into telling you about it. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you straight away, but I needed a little time to think about it.

“Jesse, there are only two things that are important to me and my dad is not one of them. It’s you and my passion for fashion design. I had to decide which is the most important and I chose you. Besides, just because I take a break from school doesn’t mean I’m giving up learning about fashion design. You showed me the importance of the ‘School of Life’. When I was with you in New York, I had a taste of that. I’ve been in school practically my whole life. Maybe it’s time to be fearless. Time to learn a thing or two from real life experiences. And I can’t imagine a better place than Milan to start.” She looked so sincere and more determined than I had ever seen her.

“You really mean it?”

“I mean it, baby. I love you and the thought of being away from you for a whole month, would literally kill me.”

“Wait, what? Did you just say that you love me?”

“It would appear so,” she answered and smiled.

I dropped my carry-on and cupped her face in my hands, pushing them into her long soft hair. “Niki, you have no idea how much I’ve wanted to hear those words. I love you, too. I love you, babe. I fucking love you!”

I hadn’t realized that I said that last sentence so loudly. All the passengers in the near vicinity stopped and looked at us, with snickering smiles. I didn’t care. I wanted to shout it from a damn mountain top.

I pulled Niki close. Her lips met mine and her kiss sang through my veins, a testament to the passion I felt within. It was magic and fireworks all rolled together in one big explosion and suddenly, all those stupid poems made perfect sense. This was what true love was all about.

My internal flight of fantasy was interrupted by Niki’s sweet voice.

“Jesse, baby?”

I opened my eyes and she pulled away, settling back down on her heels.

I blinked and swiveled my head to the left and the right. Everyone around us was clapping and cheering. In triumph, I threw my right fist in the air with a fist pump and jumped around in a circle, and shouted, “Yeah! She loves me! She fucking loves me!”

Niki dipped her head and blushed with a happy smile, touching her fingertips to her mouth. She tugged on my arm. “Come on, Romeo, let’s get my ticket.”

Niki was all smiles and I laughed as we stepped up to the counter again. The ticket agent pleasantly scanned Niki’s passport. I nodded a ‘thank you’ to her and a long lock of my hair fell in my eyes. I raked my hand through my hair to push back the crazy thing and the agent gave me a big smile as she handed us the tickets.