Fearless (7 page)

 “It went oh
-
kay,” I stressed the second syllable of the word and gave Chase a look that really said, ‘no, it was a disaster.’ “Except maybe for the end, where we were chased out of the house.”

Chase gave me a knowing nod and, being the clever guy that he was, decided not to inquire any further. I knew Niki was still hurting on the inside.
God
! If he weren’t a lawyer and would probably sue me, I’d have taught him a lesson or two for causing her so much grief. Best to let it rest. I changed the subject.

“Still no customers, huh?” I asked.

“Nah, it’s like a graveyard here tonight. Five people total. Not good for any night, but a disaster for a Saturday.”

“Damn. We need to do something soon or Kenny’s bar will be gone by the time he finishes the chemo. I feel like we should print some Happy Hour fliers and hand them out at the promenade.” I raked my hand through my hair.

“Good luck with that. That might bring a customer or two, but the only thing guaranteed to work is a big newspaper ad, but that’d cost at least a couple grand.”

I drummed my fingers on the bar top. “Newspaper…you just gave me an idea.” I scooped up one of the glasses of Jack. “I’ll tell you later. Let’s kill this shot.” We each lifted a glass in a salute.

“Here’s to bending over and taking it, Hollywood style.” Then all three of us downed it. Niki sputtered and coughed. She stuck her tongue out, making a ‘yuck’ face.

“A-a-h, that’s awful!” She coughed out the words. She still needed some practice at taking shots, but that was okay. I preferred that she didn’t drink like a sailor. I threw down a twenty and Chase lined up another round of shots. I wanted to use this chance to talk with Niki alone, so I grabbed our two glasses while Chase went in the back. We sat down in one of the booths in order to have a little privacy.

“Here’s to new beginnings,” I said, raising a glass.

“New beginnings!” Niki replied and took a glass and emptied it down her throat. It was so goddamn cute the way she twitched her face in distaste at the liquor.

She plopped the glass down on the table and held up a hand. “Okay, okay, enough for now. You don’t want me puking all over your truck seats later.”

I shoved our empty shot glasses aside and snaked my hand between our beer chasers to reach for hers.

“If the toast we just made was to new beginnings with my family, I assume you were being sarcastic. What a disaster. I apologize for Cinnamon’s ogling. I was about to stab her with my high heel. And my dad…I can’t believe my dad acted so stupid.”

“What did you expect?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Anything but that…but I should have known better. He’s never liked any of my boyfriends, except Jason of course.”

“How long were you guys together?”

“Only a few months and I wouldn’t even call it being together. It was all Dad’s idea.”

“Yeah, I got that part.”

I didn’t want to talk about that fucker, Jason. Something else her dad had said had caught my attention and had been burning a hole in my mind. I fumbled around, trying to think of a way to bring up the subject. “Your dad mentioned something…I wasn’t sure if I heard it right…he used the words ‘cutting phase.’ Baby, is that the kind of cutting I think it is?” I lowered my voice and looked into her face, trying to read her expression. I gently rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand as I held it.

Niki didn’t answer right away. Her face was clouded with despair. She looked down into her beer as if the answer were buried in it.

“It was something that happened a long time ago. I don’t really want to talk about it tonight.”

I squeezed her hand and looked into her beautiful green eyes. “You know you can tell me everything, right?”

She squeezed back in response. “I know, and I’ll tell you everything one day. I promise. It’s just that it’s something I have been working a long time to forget. Get out of my mind. And then, one stupid evening with my dad and everything comes crashing back.”

Tears were rolling down her cheeks. I felt sick to see her hurt like that. I got up from my seat, slid in her side of the booth next to her, and held her in my arms.

 “Baby, don’t cry. We’ll fix this. Whatever it is, I’ll help you get through it. I promise. You’ll never have to face anything alone again, ever.”

She held her gaze on mine. I cupped her face and wiped away the tears with my thumbs. She was so beautiful. Holding her delicate face in the palms of my hands, I felt so unworthy of her grace. I had no idea why she would want a sorry ass dirt bike rider like me, but I wanted to make this woman happy more than anything in the world. She had come into my life and changed me for the better, helped me with my demons, and now I wanted to help her with hers.

She closed her eyes and parted her lips, inviting. I kissed her lips and felt a surge of desire rise within me. But this time, for the first time, I also felt like we were one, like her heart had opened and she was letting me in. It was the most awesome rush of energy. I had never felt it before; it was like the wind gushed in behind me and pushed my soul into hers, melding the two of us together. And it was magical in there with her, calm, serene, beautiful and sweet. Kind of like one of those dreams, in which Earthly words aren’t vivid enough to describe the experience.

She whispered into my ear, “You can take me home now, but I want you to hold me like this all night.”

“Sure, baby.”

We ditched Chase and five minutes later we were once again driving toward Niki’s place. I had flipped up the center console, and converted the seat into a bench, so Niki could sit next to me. Her head rested on my shoulder as we drove. It was late and the streets were quiet. I loved it when she wanted to sit close to me. There were times when I fucking craved her company. When? Pretty much any time of the goddamn day. Her sweet face lit me up every time I saw her. And I found it hard to keep from touching her and stroking her face, or arms or… yeah, ass. I couldn't help it. I was a horn dog guy. We men are wired like that. Well, that was my professional opinion anyway. I couldn’t stop mixing up sexual thoughts with thoughts of fondness, when it came to Niki. I tipped my head down and gave her a little kiss her on top of her head.

At the apartment we climbed the stairs, hand in hand. Then, without making too much noise, we tiptoed into her bedroom hoping we wouldn’t wake Kat.

I stared at Niki for a minute, at her long dark hair, her tight dress, her round full breasts, the shape of which were easily seen through the thin stretchy fabric of the dress. My eyes trailed down from the fullness on top to the curve of her hips and that sweet ass of hers pulled me to her like a damn magnet. I couldn’t suppress the growl that erupted from my throat like I was some kind of goddamn animal.

I walked up behind her and seized her by the hips, drawing her back against me. “Damn baby, you’re so hot,” I mouthed against the skin of her neck. I slid my arms around her and inhaled the warm floral scent of her hair. “I can’t keep my hands off you. I need you near me like this, pressed against my body.”

She made me hard in an instant and I wanted her lying naked on the bed, moaning and writhing with desire under me, biting her lip and spreading her legs for me.

But tonight didn’t call for going all ‘caveman’ on her. I wanted to go slow, slow and easy. Smooth out all the knots after an emotional day. I knew that the fervor brewing inside of her would make it even sweeter when she opened her legs to me, whimpering, ‘Oh, Jesse…’ begging for me to hold her, caress her. All of today’s tension would be twisted up inside of her, mixed in with her lust and that kind of volatile cocktail of torqued up emotions always made for a fucking explosive release.

 I nuzzled her hair. Electric vibrations buzzed across every inch of my skin. Just being close to her like this, kissing the side of her neck, caused it. She arched out and moaned.

“I want to feel your touch, all over me…”

She clasped my hand to her breast harder and I squeezed it. The fullness in my hand arced another jolt to my groin and I pinched her nipple with my thumb and finger through her dress. Fuck, I could feel it was already hard and budded up, even through her clothes. I bet she was wet for me too. Mmm, another pleasure jolt to the groin.

My hand wandered from her breasts down along the slope of her stomach. My dick was rock hard now and I really wanted to shove my tongue down her throat, but I was hungry to feel the pressure of her ass on my cock a little longer. I had to push my hand against her pelvis so she would grind up against it. I couldn’t wait much longer. The rush made me suck in air through my teeth and I pushed a couple of times, harder, grinding her into me. I whispered in her ear, “Feel this, Niki? This is how hard you make me.” She practically purred and wiggled her backside up against me even more. My hands continued down to the edge of her dress and I slowly tugged it upward in a gradual reveal of her body.

Damn, she was fine as wine in nothing but her matching black lace bra and panties. I groaned silently, and cupped her breasts from behind. I looked down at her and all I wanted was to tear her panties off and get busy. Instead, I released the clasp of her bra and let it fall to the floor. She closed her eyes and inhaled, tipping her head back against mine. I felt the heat of her naked body against me. I wanted to rip my clothes off but I refrained, which was incredibly difficult to do since she was practically naked in my arms.

 But I wanted to take it slow.

Painfully slow.

She put her hands on top of mine, stroked my arms, pressed me to her warm smooth skin as I caressed her tits. I ached for her tits. They were magnificently soft and round and her nipples were budded up to the sky. I kissed her neck, her smooth back, down to her waist, and bent down on one knee behind her, tracing her soft skin under my fingertips as I went. I reached around and pulled her toward me, pressing the palm of my hand on her stomach.

Touching her like this set me on fire. Every. Damn. Time.

 I gently pulled down her lace panties and pressed my nose to the top of her rump. Her flesh there was soft and I kissed it. All over.

I caught a sweet whiff of her feminine scent and it made me lick my lips. She trembled. I felt it. She inhaled a quick gasp and I heard it. I knew she had to open her mouth to do that and my cock jerked harder at the thought of it.

I slid my hand down and grabbed her ankle. She bent the knee of that leg to release her panties and they fell to the floor. I slid my hands up both of her legs, up until they reach the softness of her thighs, and smoothed my palms over her round ass cheeks. I gently nudged the inside of her legs for her to step wider, and she complied. I had both of my hands on her ass, kneading with each thumb, working inward with each push, inch by inch, closer and closer to her wetness. She whimpered.
Fuck
. She’s so wet now, warm and soft. I gulped and fought the urge to grab her and bury myself in her right now. But I wanted her to realize it wasn’t just all about the sex with her. She was the only girl that had made me want to change.

I easily slid my finger inside of her, rubbing and stroking. My fingers moved fluidly and she inhaled, her breath shaking.

“Jesse…” she whispered.

“Do you want me to stop?”
Please say no, please say no, please say no.

 “No.”

I got my wish and I breathed again.

“I love you inside of me, every part of you,” she said in a soft voice.

I sucked in a breath and pushed my fingers in again, sliding in and out, up and around her hot little nub, giving her just a taste of what was to come, getting her all wound up so once I got her on the bed, all spread eagle and wet, begging, ‘please Jesse, please,’ she would make that high pitched girl sound that was so fucking hot. That sound triggered things in me. Things I didn’t understand, animalistic kinds of reactions that seemed to come from who the hell knew where. But it’s
so…fucking…hot.

I stood and turned her to face me, loving the sight of her in front of me, wanting to please her endlessly. Slowly, gently, I used my entire body to edge her back toward the bed. I groaned and dropped my head, kissing her as we moved back.

She slid her hands between us, clawing at my T-shirt. I tore it off and tossed it aside but I wanted her to undo my black jeans. I wanted her fingers working me over. I wanted to look down and see her head near my crotch as she teased the zipper down. Any time a guy sees a woman’s head near his crotch, that’s just damn fucking hot.

I stroked my tongue across the exposed curve of her breasts. “I want you,” she said, breathless, the air from her words puffing in my hair. I lowered her gently back against the bed and eased down on top of her. I ran my tongue up the length of her neck and kissed her again, hard and deep. She plunged her tongue in my mouth and she tasted as sweet as ever. It caused my gut to clench and made me hard as hell. I wanted her legs wrapped around my hips. I wanted to drive it in deep and hard, but I was going easy tonight. Soft and slow. Savoring each lick of her plump lips, each smooth curve of her body. I had thoughts of doing this to her every day, when I woke up, when I went to sleep - especially when I went to sleep. I had thoughts of wrapping my arms around her gorgeous nakedness and fucking her, soft and slow, every minute of every day.

A strand of her dark brown hair lay across her cheek. I smoothed it aside with the palm of my hand, pushing it back, feeling the shape of her face under my fingers, so tender and delicate. Her eyes fluttered a little and she looked at me with half open eyes. Something welled up inside of my chest. I had a fierce feeling to protect her, always protect her. Kissing her again I felt desperation, a kind of fervent need, that could keep me in her arms forever. I could taste this girl every day and still never have enough.

I kissed her neck, her shoulder, all the way to her delicious breasts. I caressed them, and rubbed the bud of her nipples with my thumbs, winding her up into a highly aroused state. Her moans were fucking hot. They made me suck her nipples into my mouth and lick them harder. My blood was on fire for this girl and my balls were aching. I desperately needed more of her.