Fearless (11 page)

“Well, basically, Supercross was an offshoot of Motocross, it’s very similar in many ways. Like, Supercross tracks are more technical and not as fast as Motocross tracks, but with higher difficulty levels. And that adds to the risk of injuries, hence…” He held up his hand that had been injured and wiggled his fingers.

“When do you think you will be ready to race again?”

His eyes caught mine and he smiled. “It will be a while. First, I have to get back in shape. Get all the alcohol out of my system,” he chuckled. “I need several months of strength and endurance training. I
definitely
won’t be ready for Supercross season. That starts in about four months, so I’ll focus on Motocross, instead. The world championship doesn’t start until spring next year…anyway, plenty of time to get ready for that.”

The waiter brought us our appetizer, an antipasto salad with a selection of Italian meats and cheeses.

“This is delicious,” I said, chewing on a piece of provolone with Italian salami.

“I could eat like this for the rest of my life and die happy.”

“You are just full of surprises, Jesse. I had no idea you were such a foodie.”

“It comes from being on the road in Europe. I got tired of burgers and pizza so, instead of having the same old stuff every day, I decided to try something new. Seize the day.” He wiggled his eyebrows and cocked his right bicep forward.

“Carpe diem,” we said simultaneously and laughed.

I stared down at my lap and I was suddenly overwhelmed with feelings of possessiveness. I didn’t want anyone or anything to monopolize his time but me. I knew it was ridiculous to think such a thing, but it simply popped up. Unable to stop them, crazy, irrational feelings of jealousy flitted through my body. Thoughts of his job taking him back to New York gripped at my stomach uncomfortably and made me squirm in my chair.

I hadn’t really anticipated this, him getting back into racing, or what it would entail. I had been so blinded by my desire for him that I had pushed those thoughts out of my mind, no - I hadn’t even allowed them in my brain at all.

The day I went to his house, when Chase told me he was packing for New York, he agreed to stay and give us a chance; but I hadn’t thought beyond that point in time. I hadn’t contemplated the future. How stupid of me. To think he would give up his career, to stay in California, for me. Helping Kenny at Rookies was a temporary gig. I knew that.
Stupid!
I could barely eat the antipasto salad on my plate. I picked at the slice of provolone, rolling and unrolling it with a slice of salami, but not eating it.

Jesse held my gaze across the table, his blazing blue eyes making me feel like I was the only woman there. Maybe I only saw what I wanted to see. Maybe his career was more than I could offer him; maybe it fulfilled him in a way I couldn’t. Maybe I had been fooling myself but, for a few more minutes, I just wanted to sit in this dumb chair and believe that there could be a kind of magnetism between us, so alluring that it would solve everything.

A strange mix of anxiety and anticipation shot its way to the surface, like an angry Pit-bull, lunging to the end of its chain. Struggling with toxic emotions, I forced them back to speak.

 “So, what are you going to do about training? I hope you don’t have to go back to New York for that.”

Jesse watched me, taunted me with a slow smile, checking for my reaction as he stared into my eyes. His gaze flitted to my plate, to my nervous twitchings with my food, and he took my hand away from it, pulling it into his, entwining our fingers as one. I shivered, though it was warm at the beach. Hairs prickled and my awareness shifted to the warm caress of his hand, his strong fingers working mine, rubbing, stroking, and sliding in and out between mine. I took him in; his long strands of hair, perfectly sexy strands, fell in an untamed fashion into those sapphire eyes.

They flickered to my lips and back to meet mine. He enveloped my hand in both of his and, leaning forward, drew them to his lips. I felt the fleshy softness of his mouth pressing on the back of my hand.

“I like to hear that from you.”

A delicious buzz hummed through my bloodstream, while his gaze caught me and tamed me, like a wild Mustang. It was amazing what merely looking at this man did to my body. He untangled his fingers and lowered my hand to the table, leaving it hot and wet, like me. I blinked, and stared at the palm of my hand for a second, the fire of his kiss still burning like a freshly blazed tattoo, before I shoved it under the table.

“I can stay here for most of the training. There are plenty of facilities around L.A. I might have to do a longer stretch, at some point, at a training camp, once I join a team, but we’ll see.”

I felt my chest expand. My insides bubbled with emotions. I could breathe. We hadn’t discussed how to handle the future, but it was a relief that we didn’t have to make serious decisions about our relationship for a while.

I had a lot of pending issues with my family situation. After the birthday party fiasco, I felt like my life was in limbo, neither in Heaven nor Hell, just stuck, hanging in the middle in the vapors, wondering when and if my dad would cut me off financially.

 Kat advised me to give my dad a day to cool down. I told her I’d maybe give him a month. My hot tempered dad didn’t do ‘cool.’ Just a guess, but I don’t think father-daughter relationships were covered in law school.

I patted myself on the back for making the progress I had: moving in with Kat, reinventing myself, just being in control of my own dreams in general. And then I met Jesse, the one man I was willing to trust with my heart, the first man who unnerved me with his good looks alone. Oh, he may have had a bad boy reputation, but he was sexier than sin and just when I was striking out on shaky trust legs, now he threw me for a loop with this talk of getting back into racing, which meant leaving me. Like the others. Like my mom. Like my dad. Was his passion for racing greater than his passion for me?

Melting into my chair, I could hardly get a word out. One weak little syllable managed to squeak its way out, past my inner turmoil, barely above a whisper. “Oh.” I cleared my throat and tried to compose myself, as if none of it flustered me in the least. “What kind of team?”

“Last year I was with Yamaha, so I hope they’ll take me back for next year’s season. I have to go to New York in a couple weeks. I was… hoping you would come with me?” He ducked his head and peered up at me from under his dark lashes.

I exhaled and raised my eyebrows. “Phew, Jesse. That’s a tall order.”

“You hesitated.” He stared at me with uncertainty, pleading.

“I would love to, but I doubt I can afford a trip right now. My dad hasn’t said a word to me since the birthday party. Who knows if he will even help me with rent anymore?”

His face lit up. “Don’t worry about paying for the trip. I’ll get the expense account to pay for you.” His lip twitched. “Just give me a massage every night and we’ll call you my personal physical therapist.”

“Ha-ha. I can only imagine the kind of sessions you have in mind.”

“Well, those are the bonus sessions. No, seriously, we can go see my brother too. It’ll be a great trip. Are you in?”

“Maybe. I have to check my class schedule first.”

“Come on, Niki. Come with me. It will be fun and I don’t want to leave you here. I don’t trust your dad. He might work a deal and have you in an arranged marriage by the time I get back.” He joked but I could see there was a glimmer of anxiety in his eyes. He really wanted to be with me. It boosted my self-confidence to see it and I could feel my muscles relax. “It will be a couple of weeks until we leave, so you have time to figure out how to deal with your classes.”

“It sounds wonderful, Jesse. But I’m going to pay for my own way, somehow, even if I have to pick up cans on the side of the road. I’ll see what I can arrange.”

My appetite reemerged, once I had turned down the crazy little voice of insecurity in my head. Everything was going to be okay. It reminded me of the good news I had yet to tell him. “Guess what is happening on Sunday?”

“What’s on Sunday? The Dodgers game?”

“No, silly. Before you picked me up, I talked to Jenna. They are going to feature your article on Sunday. And it gets better. It is going to be the featured article in the Life and Health section. Everybody will see it. I can’t wait.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. You’re amazing. This is all thanks to you. Let’s hope it will get more people coming to the bar. If that place doesn’t turn around and start making money, I could be out of a job soon.”

“Somehow I have a feeling you’ll manage.” I smiled and popped a rolled up salami slice in my mouth. Jesse Morrison, super star of Motocross, always had a way of landing on his feet, no matter what challenges life threw at him.

Chapter 11

Jesse

Fuck, I hate this stupid phone. Every time I try to get a little shuteye, it rings.

“Yeah!”

“Hey, Jesse. You better get your butt down here to the bar.”

“What’s up?”

“Some huge, knucklehead dude from New York is here. Says he knows you.”

“What’s his name?”

“Hold on. Hey bud. What’s your name?” I faintly heard a deep voice mumble in the background. “He says…Manny something.”

“You’re shitting me. What the hell, I owe him a good ass kicking. Be right there. Keep him happy.”

A few minutes later I jumped on Kenny’s bike and headed for Rookies.

As I entered the bar, a husky voice boomed out, “Jess-eee, my man. Looks like the California climate is working wonders for you…” I was greeted by my two high school friends, Manny and Jeff.

“What the fuck are you guys doing here in LA?” I asked.

“Nice to see you too, Jesse. Way to greet the guy who saved your life.”

“What do you mean, saved my life? Last thing I remember was you throwing me out into the gutter, head first. I still owe you for that one.”

“If your brain cells weren’t fried from all the booze and…whatever, you’d remember that it was
me
who called your brother, Jimmy. Otherwise, you would’ve been sliced to pieces and fed to their dogs. Ain’t that right, Jeff?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. What brings you two fuckers to L.A.?”

“I guess you could say we went straight to sin city for some R&R, or whatever. Anyway, we were in Vegas for a couple of days, hooked up with some chick who thought my cock was the proverbial fountain of youth and then I started to get an itchy feeling…”

“Are you sure that itch was from an ethical dilemma or did the
she
turn out to be a dude?”

“Shut up, asshole. I was saying…I decided to take a side trip to the beach. Got tired of that desert sun, and did you know those games in Vegas are rigged? Lost twelve hundred at the stupid craps table.”

“Well, you came to the right place. The West Coast girls are tan, tight and fit, although I’m pretty sure they would break under your frame,” I teased.

“Fucker. Are you calling me fat?”

“Nooo, I’m just admiring your magnificent physique.”

“Yeah, whatever. We can’t all be skinny pussies like you.” He belted out a hearty laugh. “Man, we sure do miss your raggedy ass in Thunder Ridge.”

“How did you know where to find me?”

“Don’t you know? You’re a fucking celebrity now. There I was in my hotel bathroom, taking a dump, looking through today’s paper in search of personal ads, and what do I see? Your ugly face, plastered all over the middle of the page. Talk about a buzz kill.”

“Most def,” Jeff concurred.

“Damn, they must be desperate for stories here in Los Angeles,” Manny continued.

I chuckled and placed my palm on the table. “I fucking love you too, Manny. As a matter of fact, I feel a little bro-mance coming on…”

“No sweat, pal. I figured I’d come look you up and get some free beer.”

“The words free and beer never go together when you are involved, Manny. You must be delirious from the road trip, asshole.” I laughed and poured them each a Bud. I missed shooting the shit with my New York homies.

Manny and Jeff were the perfect team. Back in New York, Jeff would come over to visit and never ask for anything to eat or drink. Manny would come over and help himself to anything in the fridge, then be the reason I was out of food. Jeff was the friend who would borrow your shit for a few days and then give it back. Manny would lose your shit, and tell you, ‘My bad…here’s a tissue.’

“Did you hear the news about your mom?” Manny said and drained his glass.

“Haven’t heard a fucking thing.”

“Jimmy told me just before we left. The doctors are releasing your mom from the care facility next month. She’s doing better.”

“What the hell? I can’t believe that asshole told you before me.”

“Well, I was the one who found your mom the night she overdosed on her meds and called Jimmy for help.”

“I vaguely remember. I was pretty fucking wasted when you took me home that night.”

“Has it ever occurred to you that avoiding alcohol might be a good idea? Saving your ass is taking its toll on me. Ruins my girlish complexion.” He mockingly tugged at the outside corners of his eyes with his pinkie fingers.

I snort laughed. Actually, I had curbed my drinking since I met Niki and I was dying to tell Manny and Jeff all about her. I wanted to shout from the rooftop that Niki Milani was my girl, but this wasn’t the time. I was so damn excited to have Niki in my life, I would probably gush like a teenage girl; so I cooled my jets and waited for the right time to fit it into the conversation.

“Did the doctor give a specific release date for when my mom can go home?”

“Not exactly, but I think around the time when Jimmy and Sarah are expecting their kid.”

“But that’s a couple of months away.”

“No, it’s not. It’s next month, September 15
^th
. You’re spacing, man.”

“Fuck!” Why didn’t I know about this? Jimmy must have forgotten, with his mind on the baby coming. Oh well, that might actually work out great. My fingers itched to text my manager and see if he’d booked flights to New York yet.