Fearless Attraction (Cassie Series) (19 page)

             
"When do you need to know by?"

             
His face brightens and I know I just made him happy even by thinking about it, which in return thrills me beyond belief. "Next Tuesday, so uhh, eight days."

             
"I'll think on it, okay?"

             
"You should go."
              Both Avery and I turn our heads to see Pierce watching us from the door frame. I didn't hear my door open. Maybe I didn't close it? I could have sworn I did. Maybe I was just too lost in thought and in Avery to notice him open it. How much had he heard? And why the hell would he tell me to go? Pierce, of all people, is telling me to go with Avery on this damn trip. Did he not hear the part where it'd be in three weeks? And does he not know this is like a nine month trip?

             
Before I say anything- being too dumbfounded and all- Avery's speaks up. "What are you doing here?"

             
Pierce's eyes leave mine and he looks at Avery is complete disgust. "Was planning on coming over and cooking for Cassie, but I see I'd just be intruding. Threesomes are all only fun when it's with two chicks." His eyes burn back into mine and I'm still staring at him with disbelief.

             
Is this seriously happening right now?

             
He turns around and starts to walk off and before I realize I'm doing it, I yell at him. "Sit your ass down, now!" He pauses and looks over his shoulder at me, just as taken aback as me. "Now," I yell. I point the empty seat next to Avery.

             
I look at Avery too, who looks all too confused. "You stay put. I'm talking to you both. This is ridiculous."

             
"Uh, I'd rather get going."

             
"Avery Manning, keep your ass on that stool or so help me God you're going to fucking regret it!" I even stomp my foot on the floor for added effect. I'm actually pretty surprised with myself right now.

             
Even more surprising, Avery stays put and Pierce slowly makes his way over. He grabs the stool, slides it over so he is away from Avery as much as possible, then sits.

             
"Now,” I clear my throat and try my best to stand a little straighter. "This is all fucked up bullshit." Who is this girl I'm being? Not me, that much is for sure! But I like it. "You both need to listen to me."

             
Both guys just look at me in utter shock and it makes me smile, just a little. Not too much because I don't want them to think I'm amused by the situation- because I'm not- I'm just happy they're obeying me and I can finally, maybe, possibly, clear a few things up. It seems every time I try, things just get more confusing, so maybe, finally, we can work this stuff out.

             
"You," I point first to Pierce. "You only first started even coming around to taunt Avery. You ended up being a great friend in the long run, and we had a lot of fun. I never, ever, meant to have feelings for you. You drive me completely mad, you piss me off so much I want to punch you, but the more pissed I get at you, the more I... uh. Yeah, well you know. It's all just intense with you. I like being your friend, and I enjoy the benefits if I'm being completely honest. A relationship though, I'm sorry, I just don't see it. Not now anyways. I don't think it was ever supposed to be a relationship between us. We were always just, well for the lack of a better word, lovers."

             
I turn my face towards Avery, not knowing what more to say to Pierce. "And you. You did the most romantic thing I've ever known possible, you came back to me after all those years, like you promised. But then you didn't want me, then you did, then you left, then we worked shit out, then we split up. We're too back and forth. We both hurt each other, and as much as I love you and love being around you, it kind of sucks. We're going to destroy one another if we continue this... thing... between us. I think we have a chance for a great future, but not until the future. I don't think going with you is best, and I don't think trying a relationship with you is best. I think being distant friends who care for one another, catch up on the phone and such is what we need, for now."

             
I look back to Pierce again. "I don't want to lose you, but I don't want anything more than what we have. If it's not what you want," I look back to Avery and am starting to feel dizzy now, "and if this isn't what you want." I shrug my shoulders at the two of them and talk to whoever is listening. "Then I'm sorry- but it's what I'm giving you. I'm clearing the air, I'm putting my feelings and thoughts out there. I don't want it all with either of you, but I don't want nothing. I want something in between. So?"

             
My eyes look to Avery, then Pierce, back to Avery, Pierce again, then... the ceiling.

Chapter Fourteen

             
"Hey, sweetie, you okay?"

             
I slowly open my eyes and look at Aubrey, who is looking down at me with a very concerned look.

             
"Uh, I think so. What happened?" My voice is scratchy and I point to my throat before she answers. "Can you go grab me a water out of the fridge?"

             
She smiles but it doesn't reach her eyes, then she pushes back some hair that is in my face. "I'll get some out of the water jug right here." She takes a step back and I look at it. Wait a second. It's that ugly pink color plastic jug they have in the hospitals. I look around. What happened and why am I here?

             
I reach up to move a strand of hair again and notice I have an IV in my hand. "What happened?" I ask without looking at her. Instead I'm taking in all my surroundings. The heart monitor, the blue and white checkered curtain, the large sink off to the side, and the TV that is playing the local news. No one else is in here.

             
"Do you remember what happened?" She walks back over and hands me the Styrofoam cup, then helps me sit up in the bed. She adjusts my pillow for me and everything.

             
I shake my head while taking a sip of the water, then I set it on the table next to me where there is a tray of food. The Jell-O is half eaten. I look to Aubrey and she shrugs, like I should have expected that from her. "I just remember yelling at Avery and Pierce, and trying to clear things up with them."

             
"Apparently you had some kind of panic attack or something and you fainted. Hit your head pretty hard. You've only been out about three hours."

             
I groan but it hurts my head. I reach in the back and feel a small bandage in the back. "They didn't have to shave or cut my hair right?"

             
She shakes her head with another small smile. "No, no stitches or anything, just a small cut from the fall. It's covered in gauze, but that tape will probably hurt when it's time to come out. They wanted to clip some hair but I told them you'd go crazy when you woke up."

             
"Thank you," I breathe out with relief. "So is it just you here?"

             
She gives me a knowing smile. "In other words, are Pierce and Avery around here somewhere."

             
"Yeah, that too. And my mom."

             
"Your mom just left about five minutes ago to get me some food," she rubs her belly, "so she shouldn't be too long."

             
"And?"

             
"Oh, right, them. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if they got kicked off the premises by now. They were in here, but when Mason and I came in to check on you, I may or may not have flipped out on them for letting this happen, then a minor argument war broke out, and it ended with Pierce and Avery getting into each other’s faces, then your mom came in, and two nurses, and two security guards. Mason and Avery are in one waiting room, Pierce is in another. They have to have permission to come back in." She just picks at her finger nails, acting like that was all no big deal.

             
My mouth is gapping open. "You are kidding right?"

             
"Huh?" She looks up at me and smiles. "No, not at all. I can text Mason if you want one of them in here. I'm not leaving anyone alone with you though. Look what all this has done to you." All humor in her expression is gone and her eyes look me over. "I wish you would have told me you were this stressed out."

             
"I'm not going to stress you out with just a few weeks left in your pregnancy."

             
"It wouldn't have stressed me out any more than this," she points to me sternly. "Anyways, you want one in here or you want them both gone?"

             
"Right now, I honestly don't know what I want. Heck, I haven't known what I want for the past year or so."

             
She pulls her chair closer to me and grabs ahold of my hand. "With their arguments, I got a gist of what’s going on in their heads and hearts. They both adore you and are both willing to fight for you- but you have to fight back Cassie. It's your time to get into the ring. Fight for what feels right."

             
"I just told them both exactly what I felt, both of them, while the other sat there and listened. I told them both I didn't want either of them right now."

             
"What they got out of whatever you said is that you just want to screw Pierce but not be held down by him. That you’re not in love with him, but in love with how you two are together. And that you want to communicate with Avery, but only from afar because he always hurts your feelings and confuses you, and that in many years down the road you're going to marry him." She lifts a brow.

             
I think about what I said to them, and although that isn't exactly how I meant for it all to sound, it's quite true. Except one thing. "But I do love Pierce. Why would he say that I didn't?"

             
"He didn't sweetie, he was defending your honor on that one in his own vile way. It was Avery who said it about fifteen times. I'm sure he wants to believe that to be true, and if everything they said you said is true, it does sound that way."

             
I cover my face in my hands and groan. "This is too much. I wanted to clear the air."

             
"You did." She pries one of my hands off my face so she can look at me, or better yet, so I can look at her. "You finally got everything off your chest, said what you needed to say, and let them both know exactly how you feel not just about them but about the other. But you had it all built up so long, look what it did to you. Knocked you on your ass. I think it's time you let them both go."

             
"What? Are you crazy? I
tried
the whole dating thing. Didn't work for me. I'm already confused as is and don't need to add another guy into the mix. I remember what it was like when I thought I was in love with Carson too, it was even more exhausting. There is too much back and forth and my heart can't handle it, either can my head. No way will I add anyone else into the equation. It's Avery or Pierce or no one."

             
"Well then we're leaving here and buying you a cat."

             
I sigh and decide I can't do this, not right now. "Can I have something to eat off my tray?"

             
"I already ate all the good stuff, which wasn't much, but," she looks over and lifts a cover off from a plate, revealing a sandwich of sorts. "You can have a cold grilled cheese sandwich or cold tomato soup."

             
"Gross. Never mind. I'll starve."

             
"Oh, shut up, your mom will be here any time with food."

             
I close my eyes and relax while Aubrey just sits next to me. She clears her throat but I don't say anything, she clears it again a second later, so I open my eyes to ask her what, but I see what the second my eyes meet his.