Fearless Attraction (Cassie Series) (20 page)

             
"How are you?" he slowly makes his way towards my bed, standing on the opposite side of Aubrey. Probably scared she'll attack him.

             
"I don't know," I answer honestly.

             
Pierce reaches down and holds my hand. Even though it's the one with an IV in it, it's comforting. "How is your head?" His voice is so soft, it doesn't seem natural with him at all.

             
"It hurts but not horrible."

             
He nods his head softly and just gazes into my eyes. We both stare at one another for a while, neither of us saying anything. Aubrey stands and starts walking towards the door. "I'll give you two a minute. I'll be right outside the door if you need anything."

             
I nod my head at her and she leaves the room, closing the door behind her. Pierce walks around the bed and occupies the chair Aubrey was in, bringing it even closer to the bed than it was. He doesn't touch me this time, instead, he just stares at me with those little puppy dog eyes that make me sad for him.

             
"I don’t want to discuss this right now if it's just going to stress you out more." He watches me and I give him a small smile, as in telling him to continue. "You made me feel like an idiot, just so you know."

             
My face pales at that. Not quite what I was expecting, but it's the truth and I shouldn't be so surprised. He continues though, ignoring my minor heart attack. "I really thought I was more than "a lover" to you," he uses his fingers to quote the words, "but I guess I should have seen that was all there was between us. I always knew I was second choice to Avery, but I was hoping that you'd give me a chance to prove that I can be better than him, I
am
better than him. I don't want to lose you Cassie, especially after basically just getting you back, but I don't think I can just sleep with you while waiting for you to marry Avery one day. That isn't fair to even ask of me."

             
I have to clear my throat before I can speak, with all the emotion forming a lump in there, it's hard to speak. "That really wasn't what I was asking, Pierce, and I'm sorry it came out sounding that way. I do love you, I just, I can't be with either of you. Look what it's doing to me, to us, all of us. I love what we have, but not just because we're having sex, it's the connection we have with one another. We don't have to try too hard to please one another with dates and hanging out, it comes natural to us, and we have such a fierce passion between us. I know though, if we were to further our relationship, if we were to become something official, it'd ruin all that. And it's really not fair for either you or Avery if I'm with one of you and still longing for the other."

             
"That makes more sense I guess. I just wish you were more willing to give me a try."

             
"Then why did you tell me to go with Avery?"

             
He looks down and presses his lips together for a minute before speaking. He doesn't look at me when he talks, so I know this is hard for him. "Well, for one, you didn't close to door all the way, so I heard the whole conversation. I was coming down the hall when you let Avery in, so I didn't miss much. I wasn't trying to ease drop but I was scared I was losing you already. When you didn't answer him right off, I opened the door and you didn't even notice me standing there. You looked like you were excited about it. You had this smile on your face I don't see often and I knew you wanted to. I thought if I gave you permission, you wouldn't have to think on it more. I guess it was never really about me though, was it?" He looked up at me this time and if looks could kill someone, ugh, I'd be on my death bed.

             
If I answer him honestly, it'd really hurt him. I think on it right now, and not once did I consider what me leaving with Avery would do to Pierce. I thought about school and if I was ready to be with Avery for good. I thought about how it'd affect me, and my relationship with Avery. God, I'm a horrible person. My silence seems to answer Pierce and he starts to stand.

             
"Wait, Pierce, just wait. I'm just thinking about things."

             
"You're always asking me to wait, Cassie. You're always thinking about things. It's ruining you, it's ruining me, and I don't know how much more waiting I can do."

             
"I'm not going with him," I tell him before he can leave.

             
"So you've already said."

             
"Pierce," my voice cracks, "please, don't leave me yet."

             
He leans over and kisses my lips softly. Resting his forehead against mine, he talks softly. "I'm not giving up yet. Avery is leaving and it's my final chance to prove to you what we could have, and I'm going to do a damn good job at it." He presses his lips down once more, stands and walks out before I can say anything more.

Chapter Fifteen

             
My mom showed up minutes after Pierce left the room, Aubrey came in with her. The three of us ate our food, and didn't speak anything of the situations. My mom gave me kisses and said she'd be by the apartment tomorrow. Aubrey left after her and got Mason and Avery. They came in, but Avery and I didn't get to talk about anything, and quite honestly, it was relieving.

             
The nurse came by a little later, along with a doctor, and after a few words and a check of my vitals, they let me go home. Aubrey brought me back to my apartment, offered to stay but I told her it was okay, then I laid on the couch to watch TV. I ended up passing out minutes after laying down, and didn't wake up until past when I was supposed to be at school already.

             
I decided I deserved a sick day after everything, so I ended up taking a long bubble bath, did some homework, then laid on the couch, catching up on my queue.

             
My mom shows up near supper time and I'm thankful because I'm exhausted and don't feel like cooking anything. In fact, I'm so tired I probably would be too lazy to even put a frozen meal in the microwave. She brought over home cooked spaghetti with meatballs, which completely surprises me- she doesn't cook.

             
"This is delicious mom, did Jerry make it?"

             
She laughs softly, looking impressed about something. "I hired Ellen actually. The divorce finalized last Friday, and with the money I received from your father, I was able to offer Ellen enough money to come work for me full time."

             
"I should have known this was her cooking. It's amazing. Tell her thanks. That is good to hear, too. Are you doing okay mom? For real?"

             
"I really am, I don't think I've been this happy in a long while." She smiles before digging into her food again.

             
We eat while making small talk and I'm honestly surprised she doesn't bring up the fact of what happened and why I ended up randomly fainting. Probably Aubrey explained it to her and she is too embarrassed to bring up the fact her daughter is in a love triangle. Good, because I'd be embarrassed if she brought it up.

             
When she leaves she hugs me extremely tight and kisses my forehead, leaving her lips there a moment. She pulls back and smiles at me, tucking my hair behind both ears. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" Okay, so now she wants to bring it up? I do my best not to sigh.

             
"Yes mom, thank you."

             
"Okay, good. I love you."

             
"Love you more." She leaves the apartment and I just stare at the now closed door. I'm so sick of my life. Just a few weeks until school is over and summer can begin. Maybe I'll vacation again. Although, last summer it was nice and refreshing, it's clear it didn't do what I intended it for. Maybe just a few weeks then.

             
I flop onto the couch and decide to go through some note cards I need for school tomorrow. That ends my long, boring night.

             
By the time Friday hits, I haven't seen or heard from either of the guys and I've only talked to Aubrey twice. My dad called Thursday to check on me, but that was left short. Mostly my doing. Amy has been the one I've talked to the most, even though most of her time is now spent with Kevin. She asked if I wanted to go out to a new club tonight, just us girls, so currently I'm raiding my own closet. I miss that I can't have Aubrey's advice on what to wear, or her help looking sexy.

             
Once I'm dressed, I head into the bathroom and attempt the whole dark eye makeup thing, but it doesn't work out so well. I just look like someone punched me in the face. I wash it off and try again. By the time I'm done- you know, after the third attempt- I look in the mirror and feel like I actually look real good.

             
I opted for a short purple mini dress, with white platform heels, and did my makeup simple, since that is all I can seem to do. I took a few strands of hair and curled it whichever way felt right and left the rest straight. After sliding my ID and cash into my bra, I call Amy to get directions, then I head out to her house.

             
She comes right out of her place when I pull into the driveway, locking the door behind her. She smiles at me as she makes her way over to my car. I already know she wants to drive, which of course makes me happy, so I slide out of the driver’s seat, leaving the door open while I walk around.

             
Amy is wearing a short, black leather skirt, a skin tight red tank top that fits her form well. Her hair is wavy and just flows around her shoulders and down her back. She has on black leather boots to match her skirt. In other words, she looks hot. I'm pretty jealous, I have to admit. Especially when I notice that she has gorgeous smokey eyes. Am I the only girl in the world that has never got the concept of doing my makeup right? I try, I really do, I just don't have a knack for it apparently.

             
"Squee, I'm so excited," she claims as we head out. "I haven't been out in a long while."

             
I smile over at her. "Yeah, I'm pretty excited too. I definitely needed this. Thanks for inviting me."

             
She looks over at me with a sweet smile. "Thanks for joining me."

             
We arrive at a two story dance club. The upstairs is eighteen plus, the downstairs is twenty-one plus. I've never actually been here before but I've heard many, many people talk about it. Before getting out of the car, Amy pulls out a flask from her purse and waves it in front me. "It's not enough to get drunk, just let us feel loose before we go in."

             
"Perfect," I tell her. I hadn't exactly planned on drinking, but I know it'll loosen me up some. I do surprisingly have nerves, probably because I've never been out to a night club like this before. We both sip on the disgustingly cheap liquor, which I believe is vodka but in all honestly, I can’t tell. It burns going down but I'm instantly warmer inside.

             
We make it inside and I'm already in love with the place. Red leather couches are placed throughout, there is a large, raised dance floor dead center, and two stripper poles. A small bar off to the side with a few stools in front, and a couple tables placed strategically around the dance floor. The mixture of colored lights are flashing to the beat of the music, and the DJ is placed in the far corner and there is a lot of attention on him.

             
It isn't quite packed yet, but we're still early. We both sit around on one of the couches and chat amongst ourselves while watching others show up, and some people dance. Once there are over twenty people on the floor, Amy grabs my hand and together we go out to it. It doesn't take long to pick up the beat of the music, and before I know it, I'm having the time of my life.

             
A guy that looks to be in his later twenties walks over and starts grinding with Amy from behind. We give each other a look like
eh, whatever
, and continue on. He isn't ugly but he isn't all that attractive. Nothing like her boyfriend, Kevin. After a third song, she finally turns around to thank him, and comes closer to me. He wiggles himself in to our twosome, trying add a number, but we both keep shaking our heads while laughing.

             
He yells to us so we can hear him over the music. "Why don't you ladies come downstairs?"

             
"Not old enough," Amy yells back.

             
"Come on, I'll get you in. I know the owner."

             
We both look at each other and figure, why not. My first gut reaction is this isn't very smart, then I remember we're not actually leaving the club, we're just going to the twenty-one plus section. As long as we don't go home with the guy, we're both fine.