Feathermore (5 page)

“
What was that all about?” I asked as Claire pulled me forward and we made a short stop at my locker. I couldn’t help but feel that something highly unusual was going on, and for the first time, I had the suspicion that my best friends knew something they didn’t trust me to hear. They seemed to be trying to hide something big under a too-small blanket.

I sat at the lunch table waiting for Claire to get out of the dreadful cafeteria line. As usual, I had brought my own lunch. I wasn’t really hungry anyway, so to pass the time—and, once again, to keep my mind off the strange things I had been seeing—I pulled out my hardcover copy of
To Kill a Mockingbird
. The cafeteria line seemed to be barely moving today, and I was having trouble getting into the book. The clamor and clatter of the cafeteria seemed louder than usual, and that wasn’t helping my concentration any.

Someone sat down across from me. I stiffened, somehow knowing it was
him,
and put the book down. As usual, my intuition was right. There, across the table from me, sat Avan, chin propped up on his elbows, smiling. He looked around, then put his backpack on the floor beside him.

“
You know,” I said, “sitting at this table is
extremely
bad for your rising reputation.”

“
Good thing no one’s watching, then.” He looked around and then stared at me.

Claire set her tray down next to me and sat down. “Seriously dude, sitting here is a death wish,” she said. “You’re buddies with Amy. I would suggest you make her happy and sit with her—she’s already giving us the evil eye, so . . .” She nodded toward Amy’s table.

Avan turned around, trying to be inconspicuous, but Amy caught his eye and waved desperately at him, making sad faces as she patted the wooden bench next to her.

“
Seems like she misses you,” Claire said.

I kicked her under the table, and she just looked at me. I couldn’t believe how rude she was being. I turned my attention back to Avan.

“
That’s okay,” he said to Claire. “Jade already warned me. I’m really not the kind of person you seem to think I am, but if you’d rather I sat someplace else, it’s okay.” He raised an eyebrow as he looked into my eyes, and then stood up and walked away without saying another word.

I felt terrible. He was being nothing but sweet, and Claire had to run him off. I wanted to talk to him, and I wanted him to sit at our table. Why did she have to act this way? The table he chose was not Amy’s—that made me happy inside, I have to admit. He sat with Nick Frost, who eagerly welcomed his presence.

Amy gave us an exasperated look and walked toward Avan. She put on her best smile and slid her arm around his shoulder. I imagined she would try to have him sit at her table. But when he apparently turned her down, Amy stomped over to our table. If this were a cartoon, there would have been smoke coming out of her ears.

A
s she approached I felt myself tense up, ready for her to lash out at us. I was tired of this hierarchy that, I supposed, existed in every school, and I couldn’t wait until I was away from Amy, until I could be myself without looking over my shoulder to see who was watching.

Behind Amy, Avan turned his head to the side and briefly looked at me. He seemed hurt, and it made me feel awful. I felt a familiar faint tingling in my back, which progressed slowly into the same burning ache as earlier. She put her hands on our table, right where Avan had sat.

“
Do not even
think
you’re going to be hanging out with him,” she snarled. “He’s too good for you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. Don’t waste your time, okay? He’s free to hang out with whomever he chooses. And I didn’t ask him to sit with me, all right, Amy?”

I said all this without even deigning to look up at her, then opened up my book and pretended to resume my reading. But I couldn’t concentrate. I wanted to slap her for being so stupid. How dare she tell me who I could or couldn’t hang out with?

Then, to my complete astonishment, she reached over the table and, snatching the book right out of my hand, slammed it down on the table. Every head around us turned to see what was going on.

“
Listen here,” she said in a tone dripping with condescension, “you freaks are three of a kind, so don’t go messing with the natural order of life. People like him”—she pointed with her thumb back to where Avan was sitting—“do not belong with
you.
”

She punctuated the last word with a glare straight into my eyes, making sure her point was getting across. She didn’t faze me, though. I gave her my best bored-to-death look and hoped she would leave.

“
Then again, Nathaniel looks like he could be normal. I’ll never understand what he’s doing here with you two.”

By then, Claire had had it. She stood up, and her face was transformed. This was not the sweet, bubbly Claire anymore. She was giving Amy a real rattlesnake stare.

I could see in Amy’s eyes that the unspoken threat had come through, loud and clear. She retreated quickly to her table and started murmuring to the cheerleaders, who in turn began casting dark looks at us. I spent the rest of the day avoiding the silent vitriol coming from Amy’s clan. It wasn’t as if I had actually done anything, either. It really was amazing how much that girl could influence people and poison their minds against someone else.

As the school day ended, I walked to Claire’s car. She was still talking to Mr. Bennar, our biology teacher, about an assignment that was due in a couple of weeks. Nate was out of sight but probably not far away. I leaned on Claire’s car and started picking at my nail polish. I was seriously overdue for a manicure. I heard someone walking my way and ignored it until a tall shadow slid into view and stopped in front of me.

“
Is it bad for my reputation to talk to you now?”

What was it about him that made me so nervous?
Without moving my eyes from my nails, I teased, “It’s certainly going to make a dent in it. I already had an earful from your girlfriend. But hey, it’s your own popularity you’re digging a grave for, you know?” I slowly traced my way to his eyes.

“
Gee, which of my many girlfriends was that? I just can’t keep count,” he joked back. We were quiet for a moment, and then he took another step closer. “I wanted to apologize about earlier. I don’t know her too well, but she seems to have it in for you.” His thumbs hung casually to the straps of his backpack.

I laughed under my breath. Boy, was he right! “I guess so. I’m sorry about Claire, too—I don’t know what’s gotten into her.”

My anxiety at this point melted away. Avan’s voice made me feel different, as if it spoke to a part of me that I had never known was there. Standing there with his naturally messy hair, he was astoundingly beautiful.
He bent down so his face was right in front of mine. I could feel the blood in my veins move faster as my heart thumped harder.

“
I’ve been duly warned about my so called
popularity
. Now, since we didn’t get to have lunch today, would you consider it tomorrow?”

I stared into his face, trying to assess the situation. Why was he so intent on hanging out with me? Was this some evil plan Amy was hatching, with him just doing as she said? I didn’t know, and I didn’t much care, either.

“
Sure, that’s fine,” I relented, turning my palms up in surrender.

“
Perfect. It’s a date,” he said, while making his way past me to his car, which I couldn’t see from where I was standing.

A date?
I thought. Was he really considering it a date? What did that even mean?

* * *

Once in the peace and quiet of my own house, it was time for a writing session. I didn’t write often, but now that I was experiencing some kind of high I felt inspired. I had the words flowing into me, and I just wanted to put them down on paper before I forgot them.

* * *

It was a beautiful day to be outside, and I was glad Avan led me out of the gloomy, raucous cafeteria and toward a picnic table. The sun was struggling to peek through the white, folding clouds, but it still showed itself enough to warm the air. We sat across from each other and made small talk. I met wondering eyes looking our way, and whispers passing by.

“
Hi, Avan!” came the sweet but thoroughly fake voice that I had learned to despise. She was closing the space between us, and as soon as Avan wasn’t looking she gave me the
you are so dead
glare.

“
Hey, what’s up,” he mumbled, barely looking up at her before returning his eyes to mine.

He didn’t seem to care much for her at the moment, but the memory of the way she touched him at the diner flooded in. My jaw clenched as she lowered herself to whisper something in his ear, softly enough that I didn’t hear it. While still close to his face, she looked at me and smiled. Watching her walk away, I tried to hide the jealousy I felt. After all, I had no claim over him.

“
So, you guys don’t get along much, huh?” Avan said with a grin as he squeezed every last drip of ketchup from the packet.

“
No, but that’s just Amy.” I took a packet of ketchup for myself. “Since you’re a good-looking guy, she’ll be your best friend. But for the rest of us, she’s just a huge pain in the ass. Goes into a real simmer when I don’t let her get to me, too.”
Oh my God, did I just admit that I think he’s good looking?

I smiled at him and noticed the odd way he was looking at me.

“
What?”

“
What,
what
?” he repeated, shaking his head and smiling.

“
Um, you were kinda staring.”

“
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. It’s just . . .”

I waited for him to continue, but he changed the subject instead. “So, are you coming to her party Friday?”

“
Oh, no. Busy this weekend.” It was a big, fat lie. I was never busy on the weekends, but I wasn’t about to crash the party of my archenemy.

“
That sucks. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to about something other than gossip.” He rolled his eyes.

I looked in the direction Amy had disappeared, wondering how bad it would be if I showed up. Amy and I had been really good friends all throughout middle school, but when freshmen year came around she never once spoke to me again—well, unless she had something snarky to say. It did make me a little uneasy that Avan would be going to her party, especially since there was sure to be alcohol and slutty attires. That two-faced sneak always got what she wanted.

Behind the iron gates, a figure moved. It was far away, but I saw the unmistakable green of his eyes. I gasped. It couldn’t be! With a simple blink, he was gone. Hearing things, seeing things—what was the matter with me? He wasn’t real, just a figment of my half-addled imagination. He was just a dream.

I lowered my gaze to my food. There was something going on, but what, exactly? I looked up at Avan and felt as if every fiber in me
knew
him. Something deep inside me recognized him. But what about the stranger with the green eyes? Something about him called to me.

You’re ridiculous,
I told myself.

When lunch was almost over he piled everything onto his tray, and I watched as he walked away. The way he moved with perfect ease, the way his skin seemed to glow in the sunlight, I found myself longing for him. My insides told me to get up and kiss him right on the mouth, to show him exactly how he made me feel. But, of course, that was insane. I was not one to take risks of that magnitude. Besides, what if he didn’t return the feeling?

* * *

The days went by, and our lunches alone together got more frequent. Soon, Claire and Nate had to accept that Avan was becoming a part of the group whether they liked it or not. The next thing I knew, all four of us were hanging out after school; meeting at the local bookstore for history research, going on movie outings, the first double dates that I actually enjoyed, the game nights at home, and the occasional high school party.

Mike Johnson, one of the cutest guys in school, threw a party after the Brushwood Angels’ football victory against the Pirates. Avan asked me to go with him, since his novelty and his charismatic personality seemed to make him friends with the whole school. It had been the first time I got asked to a party, especially by a boy, so I was onboard. But anytime we happened to see Amy, she shamelessly tried to find a way to bribe Avan away from my side. When that didn’t work, she would throw herself all over him, shaking her skimpy outfits in front of him in a none-too-subtle attempt to seduce him.