Feel Like Makin' Love (Rock and Roll Trilogy #3) (12 page)

“They have a long road ahead of them. I don’t know if Andy will leave the whole time she’s going through this,” Geni told them. “I gather from what they indicate that radiation
will be rough. That will begin in another two weeks or so. Obviously they won’t be home for Christmas. I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I want to be there to help, but I don’t want to be in the way.”

“We already knew that
, Mom,” Thomas said.

“What can we do?” Angela asked.

“I’ll let you know; keep things in order around here,” she said. “Like I said, right now I don’t know what I’m gonna do. When they finally send her home, Andy indicates maybe on Wednesday, there isn’t room at the flat for both of us to stay for an extended period without being in the way. They’re gonna need their time,” she said. “White’s maybe; I just don’t know.”

“I’ve cried so many times thinking about them. All of this, it would be a lot for anyone, but
for Carlee… she’s been through so much in such a young life. Andy is a mess with worry. The Oncologist indicated that because of the radiation, infertility could be an issue.” Geni said, and cried once more.

“And she will handle it all with dignity and grace,” Brian’s wife, Malia
, said, and added, “and her quirky sense of life.”

“Brian -
Mr. Gadget,” Geni smiled, changing the subject. Percy and Megs had come into the kitchen and heard her and giggled.

“Great,” he joked, “n
o more ‘Uncle Brian’ for me; now it’ll be ‘Mr. Gadget’ from these two, he said picking Megs up and holding her on his lap as both girls giggled.

“Before I go back
Thursday morning, I need one of those tablet things. Internet, email, book reader, all that in one thing…” she said. “Can you help me with that?”

Brian looked at Malia, and then Thomas and Angela. Malia rose to go to the other room. When she returned she handed G
eni a package. “Merry Christmas from us,” she smiled and hugged Geni.

She tore the package open
to find a tablet.

“
Mind-readers,” Geni laughed.

“
We’ll do the rest of Christmas when things settle down. We knew you’d be going back. We all decided that with this you could call us with the video application. That way you can see the girls, and we can see Carlee and Matthew,” Thomas said.

Thomas and Brian spent a few hours loading things onto
the device, showing her how to use it, while Angela and Malia cooked dinner. She was at the kitchen table with the guys, sorting through mail as they talked.

“Brian,” Geni sa
id. “You need to call Matthew; he’ll listen to you.”

Brian and Matthew we
re closest in age. The two of them shared a special bond, and everyone knew it. “Tell him she’s going to be fine and that he needs to get some rest. He has Dan covering his classes, but school lets out in a week; he doesn’t care whether he sleeps or not. He just wants to be with her. It will be easier once she’s home.”

She stopped a minute. “If the schedule for the radiation, radiotherapy
- whatever the heck it is - is what the doctor indicated, there will be a lot of juggling to do to make the appointments. She won’t be able to drive for at least a year. It’s just gonna be rough.” She remembered the conversation with the counselor, Jen, after the session she sat in on at camp the previous summer.
I have never personally been through anything like this before,
Geni had told her.

“
Treatment will be every day, Monday through Friday, for maybe six weeks.”

She was handing bills to Thomas to take care of for her, and
she came across an envelope with a child’s handwriting on it. It was addressed
To Miss Geni Davis
, at the Cancer Foundation in Orlando. That had been scratched out, and Geni’s address added with a red ‘FORWARD’ stamp on it. She tore into the envelope. It was a hand-drawn Christmas card, and as she read, she started to cry. She pulled a picture out and put it on the table for them to see.

“This is Ronnie. The little girl I told you about from camp last summer.”

Megs looked at the picture and asked, “Where’s her hair?”

Angela started to explain, and Geni cried harder.

“They said Carlee will probably lose her hair too; she’s already cut off a long ponytail of hair and sent it to Wigs For Kids before the surgery.”

Finally, she read the card aloud.

Hi Miss Geni!

Merry Christmas. I told my mom about the cookies and the fun time we had at camp. And guess what! We’re making cookies for Christmas; it’s the first time ever!

She is doing much better. I am too.

Geni thought of the irony in that.
SHE is doing much better…

I hope I get to see you at camp!

Love, Ronnie

The picture was of her and Ronnie the last day at camp. Ronnie was hugging Geni. Her mom and dad
had come to the closing ceremonies, and the photo was taken, as the kids were getting ready to leave. She added her address to the note. Geni slipped it in her bag – she knew she would be writing back.

Chapter Eight

Andy spent every moment possible with Carlee, but tried to give her and Matthew the space and time they needed as well. He would beg Matthew to go home to sleep, shower, rest – anything…

“I’ll stay with her,” he would say,
but Matthew wouldn’t leave. He would go home, shower, nap, and come right back.

Andy would go to the flat in the evening
, and he felt alone. He spent hours on the phone with family keeping them informed about Carlee, wishing someone was there to ease his mind, bring him some kind of peace - Geni… but she’d had to go home, and he realized how very much he missed her companionship. He spent hours on the phone with her early in the morning and late in the night in the U.S.

He tried to busy himself, doing laundry, making sure Matthew had clean clothes
, but mostly he just thought. There was far too much going on in his head.
I need an off-switch on my brain.
He thought about Beth and how she declined any treatment because the cancer was so far along and she wanted what precious time she had left to be ‘
quality, not quantity’
She’d said those words many times.
‘I want to be whole for Carlee.’

He thought about Carlee’s response to all
that was happening, heard her ask what color the ink would be that they would mark her head with, and he smiled. He knew that quirky humor was to hide her own fears as well as her attempt to make it comfortable for everyone else. And then he thought, worried about the road ahead.

His head filled with words and melodies
, and he wrote. He’d located a music store and had a portable keyboard on reserve. He hadn’t heard music in his head in a while, but the circumstances – both Carlee and Geni – seemed to bring that back.

W
hen Andy and Carlee were alone, they talked about her going home. They talked about Beth. They talked about Geni. They talked about the treatment she would go through, and they talked about her biggest fear – not getting back to the U.S. to see Nanny and Pops.

“Marco,” Andy said when he answered, “trying to keep the time difference straight in my head. I didn’t wake you did I?” It was two in the morning on Tuesday in London.

“No,” he replied
. “It’s just after eight here. Why the hell are you awake?”

“
Are you alone?” Andy laughed.

“Not tellin’
,” he replied with that big laugh of his. “Actually, on my way home from the studio; Addy’s in town. Glad to hear from you. How’s things?”

“My head is full…”

“I bet,” Marco replied quickly.

“Not just Carlee.”
Or Geni
, he thought. “Music.”

“Well that’s some good news!
Haven’t heard those words from you in a long time.” Andy heard pleasure in his voice as they talked.

“I found a music store
; going to pick up a keyboard tomorrow. I’ll send you some WAV files as I get started, for your thoughts and ideas,” he added.

“Sounds great. I’ve been thinking about coming over, but I don’t want to be in the way.”

“Are you kidding me? She’d kill for a Marco hug,” Andy laughed.

“OK, I’ll look into it!
I miss her; give her my love!”

“Will do. Thanks for the chat. I was feeling a little lonesome
, Matthew’s with Carlee. Stays there all night, and Geni had to go home for a few days.”

“Are you e
ver gonna admit to me that you’re a couple?” Marco laughed.

“
I’m not really sure we are,” Andy said and paused. “Marco, I haven’t felt these feelings since Beth came back into my life. Just gotta figure out where Geni is.”

“Well hell, Andy
, did you ask her? Did you frigging tell her how you feel? Did she?” he asked.

“
Yeah, kinda. No, not really…”

“Andy, what the fuck are you waiting for?”

“Timing, Marco.”

“For shit
sake, figure that out and jump in – you might be throwing something good away while you figure out your
timing
!” Marco barked.

Quiet a moment, Andy said, “I know.”

“What the hell are you afraid of? Screwing up? Don’t jack this up, my friend.”

“I hear you.”

“Then don’t hold back; tell her how you feel.”

“Hey, I gotta get some shut-eye…”

“Chicken-shit won’t get you what you what you want…” Marco said.

“I’ll call you later.”

“Go ahead, blow me off - Chicken shit!” Marco yelled with one of his big laughs, as Andy hung up.

After he
hung up, he went to bed. He lay there a while, thinking.
My head really is full, but I’m afraid my heart is fuller…

~ ~ ~

While she was home, Geni realized that Brian was at the house with her more than usual. He came daily - bringing his paperwork with him to work from her dining room table. “I’ve been looking into all this stuff with Carlee - statistics and all that. It sounds like the outcome will be good,” he told her over coffee one morning, going through a tablet of notes he’d taken, and she smiled. She realized what an effect this was having on him. Brian and Matthew talked daily, and she was sure that he was hurting for Matthew.

“Thank you for sharing all of that,” Geni told him after he’d gone through
the information he’d dug up. “Brian, you know all of this is going to be OK. We all have to believe that; they said there was no cancer.”

“I do,” he said and she placed a tender hand on his cheek.
“I just hate even the thought that they might not have children. Here we are, Malia and I, trying to decide
when
we want to start our family, and there are Carlee and Matthew wondering
if
they can.”

“Has Matthew talked to you about that?” Geni asked.

“Not really he did mention that Carlee was concerned about it. Do you know what Matthew told her?” Geni shook her head, curiously. “That Andy had nothing to do with the physical person she is, but everything to do with the person that she is in the world.”

“He loves her, Bri…”

“Mom, I love Malia. Thomas loves Angela, but the love I see between the two of them is like nothing I’ve ever seen,” he said interrupting her.

“I think her losses made her appreciate things – life - more than the rest of us. She really is a lovely young woman. I worried at first that she was too young, wanted her to finish school, but life saw differently.” She paused, remembering the sweet, poised young lady Matthew had brought home two years ago. “And I couldn’t be happier that they didn’t wait. They will have a lifetime ahead of them, and maybe a long ro
ad for a little while, but they’ll manage.”

~ ~ ~

Tuesday night, Andy couldn’t sleep. He looked at the clock; it was after four,
ten U.S
., he thought, and dialed the number.

“Well, hello. Why are you awake?” Geni said when she answered.

“The other side of the bed is empty,” he said and paused. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too. I didn’t think just a few days would feel so long,” she replied.

Hearing her voice, Andy realized that he missed her more and more. He was anxious for her to return.

“I’ll sure be happy for you to get back,” he told her.

“Me too,” she replied sheepishly.

“I miss the feel of you in my arms. I miss that southern twang that sounds like heaven to me, and I miss that smile that warms my soul.”

“Wow,” she.

“Here we go again,” he laughed. “I never understand ‘wow
.’”

“Just wow
, that I was thinking the same thing,” she said, and he heard a tremble in her voice.

“Soon
, Geni.”

“Yep, I’ll be back
Thursday night,” she replied.

“No, that’s not what I meant at all. Soon, we’re going to make love. Good night, Geni,” he said and hung up to leave her with that thought.

And boy, did she think.

~ ~ ~

On Wednesday morning, Andy slept late. Matthew came in at ten, and he was just having his coffee.

“Hey,” he said when he looked up.

“You’re looking kinda rough.”

“Didn’t sleep last night
; too much going on in there,” he said tapping the right side of his forehead.

“Something you need to talk about?” Matthew asked, grabbing the container of orange juice from the fridge. “Thanks for getting this, by the way.”

“I try to keep whatever I think you might need around here so that when you do your swoops in and out, it’s easy for you.”

“Y
eah, thanks for the clean underwear, too!” Matthew laughed. “Seriously, is everything OK?”

“Just trying to relocate some things in my head. Talked to M
arco last night; I need to run by a music store I found on line. They’re holding a keyboard for me; got some stuff I need to play with while it’s in my head.”

“Song stuff?”

“Mmm hmm,” Andy replied going to the pot to refill his coffee cup. He nodded Matthew’s direction.

“No thanks, I’m gonna get a shower an
d catch a few minutes of sleep.”

“How is she this morning?”

“Amazing! Hatchet is there - how lucky are we to have her?” Matthew mumbled and then said, “She slept good, I don’t think she moved all night…”

“You still sleepin’ in that bed with her?”

“Way better than the recliner, and she’s so small that there’s plenty of room.” A big smile crept across his face and he added, “I’ve gotten used to her being in my arms when we sleep, and I kinda like it.”

“Mmm hmm,” Andy replied once more. “I talked to your mom last night. She’s as anxious to get back as we are for her to return.”

Matthew saw the smile that tickled the corners of Andy’s mouth as he said the words, and it made him grin. Andy’s phone rang, and he picked it up off the table.

“When are you getting here?” Carlee asked as soon as he picked up
, and he laughed. “I miss you.”

Andy smiled, realizing that she wasn’t ready to be alone yet
, so he’d hurry. “Getting a shower, and I’ll be there in forty minutes, tops. I love you.”

“Right back at ya, Papa.”

“Guess since you are here, my presence is required there,” he laughed. “Go get some rest. I’m gonna get ready and head that way.”

When he arrived in the room, she was sitting up. The bandage was gone, and she looked like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

“Wow! You look mah’velous,” he said
mocking a skit that Billy Crystal often did during his stint on Saturday Night Live years ago.

“Why Fernando, thank you!”

He leaned to kiss her cheek. “You really do look good.”

“They just took the
bandage off before you came in. Doc T said they’ll probably take me for the markings later. It’s itchy! Hatchet said to pat my belly if it itched. What the heck will that do?” she belly-laughed as she said the words.

“Well, Phyllis always told me to scratch my elbow!”

“You look tired, Papa.”

“Just had a long night. Talked to Marco for a while
; he wants to come over. I told him to come on. And then I talked to Geni a while, so I reckon it was sometime after four when I dozed off.”

“You miss her.”

“Yeah, I do Carlee.”

“Have you told her you love her?”

“No,” he said and quickly added, “But I’m going to. I had to shift some things around in my head, but I’m ready to tell her.”

“Papa, I love you.”

They talked for a while and finally looked up as an aide was coming in the door. “I’m Cassandra. We’re ready to take you to radiotherapy to get this started,” she smiled.

“I’ll see you later, Papa.”

“I gotta run an errand while you’re gone, but I’ll be right back.”

When they pushed her bed into the waiting area, there was another bed already waiting. Carlee looked and found a little girl resting there. The tech left Carlee, and the little girl stirred.

“Who are you?”

Carlee smiled at her bluntness. “Carlee. Who are
you
?”

“Kyliejo.”

“That’s a lovely name!” Carlee said. She noticed how young she was and then saw long, silky-straight brown hair;
a hint of auburn
, she thought as the girl moved and the light caught it. She had happy eyes that seemed to sparkle, and mile-long, thick eyelashes. Carlee tried to imagine her face lit up with a smile.