Feeling This (4 page)

I ignore him and turn to Jenna, “Are you
going to hang out or what?”

“I’ll hang out. That’s kind of why I am
here.” As she finishes a hand comes up and rests on my shoulder. I glance over
and see the smirk on Derek’s face, not directed at me, but my sister. What the
hell is this?

 Before I can freak out she explains,
“Kimber, a month ago I was at a party over in Gatlin. I saw Derek there and we
just hit it off. We’ve been talking since then. This is the first weekend I
could get away to come and visit.” I’m flabbergasted. I think my mouth is
hanging open.

They both laugh at my reaction. Shit, I’m
never going to get rid of this dude if my sister is dating him.

I look over at Derek and protest, “But you
were just asking me to hook you up like you didn’t know Jenna.”

“I was just playing with you Kimber, I’ve
known Jenna since middle school. We were in the same class.”
Well damn. The
jokes on me I guess
.

I glance down and check my watch, two
o’clock. My attention is elsewhere now. They can sort this junk out. I have a date
with my bed very soon. Before I get very far though, Jared calls down the bar
to me. I walk cautiously toward him. This night is turning into something out
of the Twilight Zone.

He asks when I am directly across from him,
“Would you be interested in performing on Friday nights? I think we need one
night with someone people can come back to see regularly.”

I’ve suddenly lost my voice. What? Perform
each week. Oh wow!

He tells me before I can respond, “I’ll pay
you two hundred for the night.”

I nod because that is all I can do. Sing
and play every Friday night, how did this happen? I turn to see my sister
beaming at me with Derek’s arm around her. I’ll ignore that part for now
because this is a small dream come true and I’m going to bask in it.

Jordan

I spot my chance half-way into dinner. Dan
excuses himself and heads toward the restroom. Not the ideal place to confront
him about his daughter and her problems but I have to try. This might be the
only time he’s alone tonight. I stand quickly while Susan is engrossed in a
conversation with my mom. As I turn to follow her father, their voices suddenly
fall silent behind me.
Damn
. I was hoping they wouldn’t notice. Now she
thinks I’m going to talk to him about asking her to marry me. I don’t bother to
look back. I just trudge on hoping this conversation goes well.

Entering the bathroom, I find it empty,
thankfully. Dan is washing his hands in the bowl used as a sink seamlessly attached
to the marble counter sprawled along the wall. He glances in my direction as I
enter and nods a greeting. Then he averts his attention to the mirror centered
on the wall in front of him. My step falters and suddenly my feet stop of their
own accord. He looks back with a concerned expression on his face and his voice
takes on a startled, apprehensive tone, “Jordan, are you okay?”

I push on stopping only two feet away,
“Yes, sir. I ahh, I need to speak with you about Susan.”  It’s suddenly warm and
my neck feels too snug. I resist the urge to tug at my tie and loosen it.

The lines caused by his look of concern
seem to smooth over as a smile spreads.
Crap, that’s not what I meant.

Trying to fix the fact that he has the
wrong idea I stutter, “Um, it’s not about that. I mean I want to ask you and ask
her too. I just…” This is going so wrong. Not the way I had planned at all. My
hand travels up and runs through my hair. As Susan always says is the telltale
sign that I am nervous.

Quickly I lower my hand and put my hands up
as if they will help me explain and just blurt it out, “Sir, she needs help.”

He frowns and confusion floods his face. I
am so messing this up.

I try to explain, “She has these mood
swings. It’s as if she isn’t there during them, she’s confused and I don’t
know. I think she needs to go and see a counselor, maybe a doctor.”

I finally got it out. But he just stands
there staring at me, still looking baffled. As the silence spreads, worry fills
me. What if he doesn’t want to help? They have to see it though, she lives with
them. How can they not see it?

After a minute that seems to spread to
twenty, he breaks the silence and tells me firmly in a voice laced with a hint
of anger, “I think you might be mistaken Jordan. There is nothing wrong with
Susan.” As he continues the anger is more evident, “Is this your way of
breaking it off with her?” His mouth forms a stubborn line, “I will ruin you if
you break her heart.”

If I could have predicted this, I would
have decided against eliciting her parent’s help. My heart falls as the
realization of his words hit me.

I stammer as my heart beats a million miles
a minute, “No, I…No, I love your daughter more than anything. I would do
anything for her. I just…she needs help. I don’t know how to help her.”

He holds his hand up halting anything else
I might have said and takes a step closer so we are only a breath apart. He
stares intently into my eyes and snarls, “There is nothing wrong with my
daughter. Don’t you dare hurt her or her mother. This conversation never took
place as far as I’m concerned.”

With that he finishes wiping his hands on a
terry cloth towel set out on the counter, places it expertly back and turns to
exit the bathroom. I am left completely defeated and at a loss. His meaning was
loud and clear, don’t let Susan or her mother know that I think she needs help.
But how can I not?

My back finds the edge of the counter as I
stand there unable to move. I am not going to get any support from her parents
because they refuse to admit there’s a problem. But now her dad will never let
me marry her, which in the grand scheme of things doesn’t really matter. I just
need to get her help. I am losing her more and more. I can’t lose her, she is
my life.

Feeling as low as I can but ready to
soldier on without any other options, I turn to the sink and splash cold water
on my face while taking a deep breath. Making my way back to the table is
torturous. As I approach, everyone looks up expectantly. My eyes meet Susan’s
unmistakable ones, full of pure joy. I manage a smile and glance up at the
other faces surrounding her. Her father’s gaze meets mine and he nods as if we
planned something and announces, “I think Jordan has something to say.”

Confusion must pass over my face because he
clarifies, “Jordan asked me a very important question in the bathroom. I think he
has something to say to my daughter.”

Did I mention earlier about Susan’s dad not
having a backbone. Yeah, I completely take that comment back. He has a lot of nerve,
there is no doubt about it.
Decision time Jordan.

Grabbing Susan’s hands, I pull her up out
of the chair and place the napkin from her lap on the table. I lower myself to
one knee and grasp her hands looking up into those wonderful eyes, that
gorgeous face I will never tire of and pray that she stays with me through
this. Stealthily, I pull her engagement ring out of my pocket. It’s become a
habit, putting it somewhere on my person when I leave the apartment, just in
case the opportunity arises for me to officially ask.

Taking a deep breath I ask her, “Susan
Marie Weller, will you make me the happiest man alive and spend the rest of
your life with me?”  

My lips turn up as I push the ring onto her
finger and finish, “Will you marry me and be my wife?”

A tear falls down her cheek as she pulls me
up from my knee and exclaims, “Yes, Jordan, yes.” Her mouth meets mine in a
tender kiss.

When she pulls away she hugs me and
whispers, “I love you baby.”

I kiss her on the cheek and my eyes meet
her father’s across the table. He nods and looks over to his wife smiling as
she appraises us. Clapping from surrounding tables rings through my ears. This
is not the way I wanted it to happen. I kick myself silently for being so
stupid.

Susan steps back telling me quietly with a
sly smile, “Well played, Mr. Rhodes, well played. Maybe we can finish that
thing after all.” I smirk at her implied meaning, thanking whoever’s in charge up
there that she’s still here with me.

Of course, we just opened the flood gates.
Our moms needed just that little performance to run with the planning. I’m sure
a full blown wedding will now be soon.

As the night continues, guests for David
and Bree make their way over to congratulate us, go figure. Bree was the first
though, she came and whisked Susan off an hour ago, I haven’t seen her since. I
don’t imagine I will, they now have something in common. Well, they already
did, but we didn’t share that we were already engaged with anyone.

My parents corner me at the bar as I
attempt to get another much needed drink. This night is definitely unexpected.

“Jordan?” My mom’s voice questions me. I
turn just as I’m tipping the bartender and take a sip.

“Mom.”

“Jordan, I think we need to talk.” A frown
knits itself over her eyes. I’m surprised. I was convinced she was on cloud
nine, now that I’ve proposed. She slides her hand through my arm and leads me
out of the double doors onto a patio looking out over the golf course beyond
the gardens. My dad follows. It’s quieter out here with just the incessant
clicking of the turning sprinklers across the course. The moon is almost full,
lighting everything, creating shadows that stretch and make everything look
long.

Once it’s just the three of us standing
against the stone railing, my mom utters her concern, “Honey, I’m worried. I
know you love Susan and I know you two have been together for a long time.”

She stops mid-sentence and looks away
almost as if she’s ashamed. I glance over at my dad and he looks down not
wanting to meet my gaze. What the hell is wrong with everyone tonight? I wait
it out. My mom is never at a loss for words. She will eventually spit it out
and I probably won’t want to hear it.

“She…Is something wrong with her Jordan?”
Now she’s piqued my interest. Maybe my parents have seen it. Maybe they can help
me convince her parents.

My words are cautious, “What do you mean Mom?”

“Well dear, we were talking about the
wedding one minute and then I tried to ask her something, it was as if she had
no idea what I was talking about. She looked confused and then she snapped at
me.”

I ask slowly, “What exactly did she say, Mom?”

“She told me it was none of my business and
walked away. I have never seen her do that before. Is she, is she stressed or
going through something?”

My dad steps up and places his hand on my
mom’s shoulder, “It’s probably nothing Jane. She’s probably just overwhelmed
with the proposal and Bree’s party.”

I interrupt, “No, Dad, actually I am
concerned. It’s getting worse. One minute we are fine, having a conversation
and the next it’s as if she’s lost.” I run my hand through my hair, “I don’t
know what to do.”

My mom pipes up, “Honey, she needs to see
someone then. I can get the name of someone if you would like.”

 Looking down, I shake my head and admit,
“I tried to tell her dad. He won’t listen.”

I look back up glancing back and forth
between them. They are silent for a few minutes trying to think of the best way
to approach this. I know my parents have my best interest at heart. For the
most part they are supportive in everything I do. My mom is usually the hardest
to convince in times like this but I realize, she might be my greatest ally
with Susan. She seems deep in thought for a minute before finally suggesting, “Why
don’t I have lunch with Rebecca this week and talk to her. She might be more
receptive than Dan.”

My dad looks over to me. I can see the pain
for my situation in his eyes. He doesn’t like this whole thing anymore than I
do.

“Yeah Mom, that sounds great.” I lean over
and kiss her cheek, hugging her.

She pushes me to arm’s length and concedes,
“I know you love her honey. I promise we’ll figure this out. She is already my
other daughter.”

I smile as I realize someone is at last
going to help. I’ve lost sleep over this. It feels as if a tiny bit of the
weight that has been weighing me down, has lifted. There’s a lot more
convincing to do but this is a small step in the right direction.