Female Ejaculation (16 page)

When a woman nears orgasm, the clitoris typically retracts inward and downward toward the vagina’s opening, hiding under the hood. But don’t worry. It will reappear when arousal decreases.

The clitoris also has a shaft under the skin that extends up towards the pubic bone and belly before it turns down toward the vagina. When the clitoris is aroused and swollen, the shaft becomes rigid and sinks deeper inside the body.

The downward extensions of the shaft spread further towards the vagina. Some believe the erectile tissue of the clitoris extends deeper, connecting with the urethral sponge, the labia, and the perineum, nearly surrounding the inner vagina. Though this premise hasn’t been proven, it would explain the sensitivity of these erogenous zones in and around the vagina.

What has definitely been medically accepted are the legs of the clitoris, which are called crura. The two crura continue deeper for about three inches (eight centimeters) toward the G-spot, one on either side of the vagina. Have you ever noticed the pleasurable sensation from two fingers pressing into the soft tissue on either side of the vagina’s opening? This is one of Jeffre’s favorite warm-ups.

The deeper extensions of the anatomy of the clitoris may explain why the belief that only the clitoris causes female orgasm has endured for so long. Penis penetration may very well stimulate the legs of the clitoris. If the man moves upwards during missionary position intercourse or grinds the woman’s pubic bone at the end of the in-stroke, the clitoris can receive significant excitement.

The physiology of the clitoris can help lovers understand some of the unique aspects of female sexual response. The tip of the clitoris is fed by the pudendal nerve, as are the vagina’s lips and opening, the perineum (the tissue between the vagina and the anus), and the anus itself. (By the way, “pudenda” is a fancy out-of-date term for external human genitals.)

The shaft and legs of the clitoris (as well as the inner vagina and the G-spot) are fed by the pelvic nerve deeper inside. This possibly explains why orgasms feel different when triggered by the inner and
outer erogenous zones. We’ll talk about this much more in a subsequent chapter.

By the way, when we refer to the clitoris, we usually mean the glans. If we mean any of its inner parts, we’ll be specific.

Because the clitoris is hypersensitive, begin by awakening the rest of her body. As she becomes aroused, and you approach the vagina, be careful not to directly touch the glans initially. Use a light, slow, gentle caress at first on the sides of the clitoris and the shaft. A smooth limp finger or tongue works great. Circling around the clitoris feels great, too. Be sure you have ample lubrication from the vagina, your mouth, or a commercial product. If you have really rough hands, you might like to try latex gloves. It makes the fingers incredibly smooth.

As her excitement grows, you can gradually approach the clitoris more directly. Lightly at first, your straight or circular strokes can stray toward the glans. As feedback tells you she’s getting more turned-on, increase your speed or pressure little by little, and ask for feedback.

As her excitement builds, many women like a hand rubbing over the clitoris. Some like flicking with a finger or tongue. If you’re using your mouth, you can try sucking an erect clitoris as well.

When highly aroused, many women like strong clitoral stimulation that’s hard, fast, and with deep pressure. But be sure to ask before doing something like that.

We’ve found that too many women simply don’t know what kinds of loveplay they like and don’t like. And those who do know are often too inhibited to talk about it or just don’t know how to describe it. No matter how much you know about the clitoris, every woman is different, so we encourage you to explore exactly what she likes.

Only about 10% of women have a clitoris that’s close enough to the vaginal opening to be easily orgasmic from typical penis penetration. Unfortunately, in most cases, the clitoris is missed entirely during straight pumping.

By adjusting the angle of the stroking, the average clitoris doesn’t have to be completely ignored during penetration. The in-and-out motion may pull the external vaginal tissue, which can massage the
clitoris. And, of course, a hard penis can apply pleasurable pressure to the crura on either side of the vagina. Even better is a lover who knows how to grind his pubic bone on hers on the in-stroke. These are some of the ways the clitoris can participate actively and appreciate intercourse.

Even if you don’t remember, at one time you were intimately connected with the vagina. We’re sure you know the facts of life whether you recall the details of your birth or not. Childbirth, intercourse, menstruation — it seems the vagina was designed with the reproduction of the species as a first priority.

The vagina is a deeply folded, highly muscular, expandable canal lined with mucous membranes. From its outside opening between the inner lips, the vagina curves up toward the belly and cervix, which is the entrance to the womb or uterus.

Normally, the channel is collapsed upon itself so that there’s no space between its touching walls. When aroused, the membranes that cover the vagina’s insides lubricate. Then, it opens and lengthens.

The vagina’s deeper two-thirds have smoother walls with fewer nerve endings than the outer third. Consequently, this inward area responds less to touch and more to pressure, like the kind produced by a firm, hot, cylinder of flesh. What an amazing design!

The outer third of the vagina, the part closest to the opening, is different in character than the inner two-thirds. Because it’s dense with nerve endings, the walls of the vagina’s outer third are highly responsive to touch. Of course, you already knew that, right? These tissues are covered with ridges and furrows, especially around the urethra that transports urine out of the bladder.

The bladder is above the top inward end of the vagina. The urethra is the medical name for the slender tube that runs along the top or front side of the vagina and conducts urine from the bladder to the urethral opening near the inner lips.

The average urethra is about 1.5 inches (4 centimeters) long, which is much shorter than the similar canal in a man’s penis. Because it’s so short, women are much more susceptible to urinary tract and bladder infections. Germs simply don’t have as far to travel inside, especially after deep and extensive sexual play.

But don’t worry. It’s easy to prevent this. Just be sure to drink lots of water before, during, and after sex of any kind. And remember to empty your bladder as soon after sex as you can to cleanse the canal.

For many women, the opening of the urethra (meatus) is especially sensitive to stimulation since it’s surrounded by the beginning of the urethral sponge.

There are a number of glands and tissues around the vagina that can create delicious sensations with specific kinds of massage. The tissue along the front or upper vaginal wall is colloquially called the G-spot.

The entire urethra is surrounded by spongy tissue under the upper surface of the vagina which is called the
urethral sponge
. This tissue can become erect, and the sponge is composed of up to 40 little glands and ducts referred to as
paraurethral
since “para” means beside or near.

Dr. Milan Zaviacic, a medical professor at Comenius University in Slovakia, has been studying women’s urethral sponges since the early 1980s. He has clearly demonstrated that the tissue secretes the same chemicals produced by the male prostate. Since these organs also develop from the same tissue in men and women, many sexologists now use the term
female prostate
for the glands and ducts that surround the urethra.

With sexual arousal and firm pressure, the urethral sponge swells with fluid. Though the exact physiology has yet to be completely understood, it’s clear that female ejaculate comes from the urethral sponge/female prostate at least in part.

Natural vaginal lubrication emanates from another source. This thicker, slippery fluid comes from the
Bartholin glands
, two small organs located on each side of the vaginal opening.

The
perineum
is the sensitive tissue between the vagina and the anus. Many women find stimulation of this area highly pleasurable because of its rich nerve endings and its ability to become erect. Plus, it’s close to another one of the most sensitive organs in the body — the anus. It could be that the back wall of the vagina is so sensitive in some women because of its proximity to the perineum and anus.