Female Ejaculation (18 page)

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Authors: Somraj Pokras

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NO LUCK WITH AN URGENT PROBLEM
As you’ve read, without proper stimulation, G-spot play is often unremarkable, uncomfortable, or even painful at first. Initial pressure on the G-spot can create what the medical world calls “urgency,” the feeling that you need to pee. For obvious reasons, our name for this sensation is the
P-Signal
. We believe women get the P-Signal when their engorged urethral sponge presses on the neck of their bladder and urethra. Even when empty, this feels identical to the pressure caused by a full bladder.
The anatomy connection makes this clearer. Remember that the tip of the clitoris and most of the PC muscle are fed by the pudendal nerve. The bladder, uterus, and G-spot, as well as the inner part of the PC muscle, are serviced by the pelvic nerve. It makes sense that this deeper nerve pathway is harder to arouse sexually. But when it
is, the sensations are felt deeper in the bladder and uterus. A woman untrained in the ways of G-spot massage and female ejaculation most likely interprets these P-Signals incorrectly.
In a later chapter, we’ll explore different kinds of orgasms from different kinds of stimulation. At this point, we’ll just leave you with this message: G-spot orgasms create a deeper kind of pleasure than most clitoral orgasms can ever account for.
BEGONE THAT MESSY WET SPOT!
Learning to handle the P-Signal is a vital gauntlet all women need to pass through to enjoy G-spot orgasms and female ejaculation. Now that we’ve launched our initial campaign to relax you about your fluid emanations, let us add a really valuable tip.
No one should have to sleep in a wet spot after sex. No one should have to hold back during sex for fear of dousing the bed, rug, or furniture by ejaculating. No one should have to avoid sex because it’s that time of the month. Don’t you agree? Find an absorbent towel or pad, and let yourself go.
PRACTICE:
SOLO G-SPOT DISCOVERY
For reassurance, it’s a good idea for a woman to empty her bladder before this kind of play. And while you’re preparing, grab a couple of thick towels for that extra sense of security, just in case you ejaculate.
 
As we’ve said, getting your fingers inside the vagina with enough pressure on your G-spot may be awkward for extended periods of time. We suggest you try your best this way at first, but also have a vibrator or curved dildo available.
1.
PREPARATIONS
Begin by tidying up, heating your room, taking a bath, putting on erotic music, and leaning back against a pile of pillows with your legs spread. Do this in front of a mirror if you like. Once aroused, you’ll probably have to get up on your feet or knees to reach your G-spot. Props you may want to collect are water, lubricant, towels, and a vibrator or curved dildo. Be sure your bladder is empty before you begin.
2.
TOUCH
Begin by slowly touching, caressing, and arousing yourself from the perimeter and circle towards your vagina. Caress your vulva and clitoris with your preferred lubricant to get them both feeling hot. Use fantasy if you’d like. Then lick or lubricate a finger, and slowly circle around the vaginal opening, gradually going deeper inside with an in-and-out stroke. Take your time, and enjoy it because your G-spot may not come out to play unless you’re really turned on. Be sure to relax, breathe deeply, and make sounds that express what you’re feeling.
3.
LOCATE
When you’re aroused enough, you’ll begin to feel some places on your vagina’s upper wall lining that will become rougher and more wrinkly like corduroy. You might feel the prostate harden like a bean beneath the surface somewhere between the vagina’s inside end and the meatus near the opening. You won’t be sure which kind of prostate you have until you thoroughly massage and excite the whole extent of your urethral sponge. Within a few minutes of continued stroking, your G-spot will swell, get larger, and harden in the same way as a clitoris and penis.
4.
SQUAT
If you find you can’t reach deep enough inside, or your muscles start to protest, continue on your knees or by squatting. Sometimes, experimentation is necessary to find the most comfortable position for G-spot access.
5.
PRESSURE
Gradually increase the pressure on the rough and hard spots on the upper wall with in-and-out strokes about once per second. Curl your finger around the pubic bone when fully inserted, making a come-hither motion as you pull out.
6.
DON’T STOP
As your G-spot becomes more engorged, you may feel P-Signals that convince you that you have to pee. This means you’re really getting there! Simply breathe, and continue. If you relax into it, the sensation will pass quickly. Remember that you just emptied your bladder. If you believe it’s full again, go to the toilet to make sure, but come back and resume your play.
7.
TOY
Whenever you decide the time is right, feel free to switch to a vibrator or dildo. Experiment with what kind of pressure you like.
8.
GO FOR IT
Use the supreme bliss cornerstones to intensify and spread sexual energy throughout your body. Of course, if you experience a G-spot orgasm, don’t hesitate!
9.
CLOSING
Close your sacred space by doing whatever works for you, and give thanks for the pleasure your body brings you.
THE G-SPOT DURING INTERCOURSE
We love penetration with the penis inside the vagina. But for many women, it’s difficult to get good G-spot stimulation from a pumping penis. Students of the
Kama Sutra
know that certain unique sexual positions work best for different body type combinations as our later chapter will show you.
The anatomy of the G-spot is the reason. Providing enough pressure on the vagina’s upper wall is necessary. This is nearly impossible with the standard missionary position. For many women’s bodies, it’s easier for a partner to locate and awaken the G-spot with fingers.
PRACTICE:
PARTNER G-SPOT DISCOVERY
For a partner to find your G-spot with the fingers, it requires that you guide them to the right place with your preferred strokes. This is why, even if your lover knows where and how to look for your G-spot, the perennial challenges of sexual communication can get in the way.
1.
PREPARATIONS
Begin by tidying up, heating your room, taking a bath, putting on erotic music, and arranging your body so that you can lean back against a pile of pillows with your legs spread. Props you may want to collect are water, lubricant, towels, and a vibrator or curved dildo. Use a soft towel or absorbent pad underneath to eliminate any self-consciousness about fluids wetting the bed. Be sure to discuss the Partnering Questions, and empty your bladder before you actually begin.
2.
TOUCH
Begin by asking your lover to slowly touch, caress, and arouse your body from the perimeter and circle toward your vagina. Have your partner massage the vulva and clitoris with your preferred lubricant until they’re both hot. Use fantasy if you like. When you’re ready, ask your lover to lick or lubricate a finger, and slowly circle around the vaginal opening, gradually going deeper inside with an in-and-out stroke. Guide your lover to take his or her time because your G-spot may not come out to play unless you’re really turned on. Be sure to relax, breathe deeply, and make sounds that express what you’re feeling.
3.
LOCATE
When you’re aroused enough, guide your lover to explore your vagina’s front wall lining, feeling for where it’s rougher and wrinkly like corduroy. They might feel the prostate harden like a bean beneath the surface somewhere between the vagina’s inside end and the meatus near the opening. Guide your partner to thoroughly massage and excite the area of your urethral sponge that most responded during solo play. With a few minutes of continued stroking, your G-spot will swell, get larger, and harden much like a clitoris and penis.
4.
PRESSURE
Ask your lover to gradually increase the pressure on the rough and hard spots on the upper wall with in-and-out strokes about once per second. Have them curl a finger around the pubic bone when fully inserted, making a come-hither motion as they pull out.
5.
DON’T STOP
As your G-spot becomes more engorged, you may feel P-Signals, convincing you that you have to pee. This means you’re really getting there. Simply breathe and continue, and the feeling will pass quickly. Remember that you just emptied your bladder. If you’re convinced it’s full again, go to the toilet to make sure, but come back to resume your play.
6.
TOY
If you liked it during solo play, feel free to ask your lover to switch to using a vibrator or dildo. If you discovered where and how you really like strong pressure, now is a good time to guide your lover to give you that kind of stimulation.
7.
GO FOR IT
Use the supreme bliss cornerstones to intensify and spread sexual energy throughout your body. Allow a G-spot orgasm if it happens naturally.
8.
COOL DOWN
When you’re ready to stop, be sure your partner knows to follow your lead. Do you want gradual slowing or to simply hold still? Whatever you prefer, ask your lover not to abruptly break contact. Instead, have him or her cup and hold your vagina with the palm of one hand, while the other hand is on your heart. Look into each other’s eyes, and breathe together.
9.
CLOSING
Close your sacred space by talking about what happened, discussing your feelings, giving thanks for the pleasure you’ve created together.
You now know the latest information available about the nature of the G-spot, including its idiosyncrasies and its delights. You’re on your way to mastering that elusive of sexual experiences — female ejaculation.
CHAPTER 5
G-SPOT MASSAGE
“Don’t let another day go by without the magic touch.”
— NEIL YOUNG FROM
SLEEPS WITH ANGELS
TIME TO ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES
ART AND SCIENCE
There are many ways to give ultimate pleasure to a woman’s G-spot. Maybe the two of you have stumbled upon that perfect moment when his thrusts hit just the right spot. But since the G-spot’s arousal is changeable, what worked once might not have worked the same way the next time. No wonder so few women have experienced ejaculation! All too often, we can’t recreate the exact circumstances for that fantastic sexual high. But we can create new ones!
In this chapter, we’re going to dispel the mystery about giving a woman pleasure. Here, you’re going to learn the art and science of G-spot massage. We’re primarily talking about using your fingers, though we’ll include some guidance about using sex toys for giving pleasure to a partner as well as to yourself.
By the end, you’ll know all the options. We can’t promise you’ll never be confused or that you’ll always know exactly the perfect thing to do in every moment in every situation. As we’ve said, female stimulation is a moving target. But when you’re done, you’ll know everything there is to know about how to give and receive G-spot pleasure, and how to react to unique circumstances. It’s the foundation of what you need to experience that ecstatic gush of liquid.
THE PRACTICES AHEAD
Once you’ve determined the pleasure formula for a specific woman in a specific lovemaking session, G-spot massage is essentially simple. There are just a lot of options to choose from in getting to that point. So, this chapter breaks down G-spot pleasure into a series of practices of increasingly complex stimulation.
You’ll probably want to rush ahead to the juicier bits, and push for a resounding orgasm sooner rather than later. We understand these innate urges to seek rapid rewards. We think it’s a better idea to read the whole chapter before beginning intensive practice.
Playing spontaneously, full out, with wild abandon is great. We just suggest you do it later in a few days or weeks. If you’ve been making love for 1, 10, or 30 years without these techniques, what’s another few weeks to gradually incorporate G-spot play into your repertoire? Savor each morsel of new delight, and draw out the pleasure as long as you can.
WHEN TO START G-SPOT PLAY
How will you know when you’re aroused enough for intense G-spot stimulation? The more aroused you become, the more your G-spot will become engorged with blood. It swells like a crest, protruding down from the concave front wall of the vagina, making it convex.
Until you’re sure, continue with loveplay. Here’s a not-so-subtle warm-up reminder: Whisper sweet everythings, kiss softly and deeply, caress everywhere, use
Kama Sutra
“embraces,” and titillate the vagina
endlessly. Ask your lover not to dive for the G-spot until you’re really ready and ask for it.
One vital cue, however, is the vaginal engorgement. You can easily tell a vagina with erect tissues because her lips open of their own accord and become very red. For many women, lengthy clitoral play is an essential prerequisite. Some prefer touching and kissing on the vagina’s lips and opening first. For some, emotional closeness, intimacy, and fantasy are enough to engorge the G-spot.
Learn your own patterns of arousal. Whatever your needs, be sure to dwell amply on awakening physical and energetic arousal before heading for the G-spot.
LEARN THE TWO ROLES
THE ROLE OF THE GIVER
As the giver, more than anything, being
present
is your most important aim. We don’t just mean physically with your hands inside her. We mean mentally here and now, emotionally accessible, and spiritually conscious. Listen fully with all of your senses open. This is a powerful way to say “I love you.” This is what women want more than anything else. It thoroughly turns them on.
How do you show presence? Well, tuning out, daydreaming, and looking off into the distance isn’t it. Interrupting her process or disappearing in the midst of a breakthrough certainly disqualifies you.

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