Female Ejaculation (20 page)

If you’re confident that your bladder is empty, and you understand that the P-Signal is normal, it will be easier for you to relax and let things go. Resting on a couple of soft towels and an absorbent pad can help free your mind of calamities, too.

We must face one of the inalienable truths of G-spot play: Dry scratching is no fun. This explains our next reminder: Get wet and stay wet.

Just like guys who tie up much of their self-image in their erections and stamina, some women connect their desirability with how much their vagina lubricates during arousal. Wouldn’t it be great to always
live in the fantasy of romance novels where seeing just the right bulge, hearing just the right words, or being caressed just the right way will make your vagina flow copiously?

Let’s face reality. Age, health, physical condition, diet, and medication, not to mention menopause, all affect a woman’s natural sexual lubrication. No big deal. Our only interest is pleasure, not giving a performance of any kind or living up to a mental image that competes with someone else.

Simply make sure you introduce lots of lubricant. Saliva is a great “wetifier.” That’s one of the reasons why we encourage oral romping for the longest time before G-spot play.

If oral play isn’t your cup of tea, or saliva doesn’t last long enough, never fear. There are many commercial varieties of personal lubricants available. Remember only to use water-based lubricants inside the vagina. Try small samples to see what you prefer.

Who’s in charge of making sure you’re wet enough? You both are! But as a receiver, you’ll probably know that you need more first. Ask for more, or keep a bottle near you.

G-spot play is a doorway to an exalted universe of pleasure, ecstasy, and altered consciousness. Those aren’t measurable, programmable qualities. If you enter any kind of loveplay with orgasm or ejaculation as the goal, you can well block the flow of energy that will propel you higher. Ecstasy happens in the moment. Expectations take you out of it and into the future.

Yes, our goal with this book is to lead you to ejaculation, but you can’t get there by trying too hard. You have to be willing to go on the journey.

The most common goal lovers set is orgasm. This can put performance pressure on you, as well as the giver. If you’re worried about whether or not you will reach orgasm, you can produce performance anxiety. Trying to reproduce the excitement of a previous encounter can also distract you.

Instead, learn to enjoy the pleasure you’re experiencing right now. Learn to bask in your vibrations and those of your partner. Appreciate the sensations coursing through you in the moment. Accept that
whenever it stops, you’ll be complete. Make what you’re feeling now enough.

What’s the ultimate prescription for opening the G-spot to supreme pleasure? Forget the past and the future. Focus on what’s happening now.

While there are limited ways to reach your own G-spot, there are several positions possible for partner play. Comfort is essential for both giver and receiver. Tension in the giver’s body telegraphs quickly and can close down the receiver’s energy channels.

We recommend that you experiment with the following positions before you get into serious G-spot play. Then, you’ll know which to use, how to adjust them, and which to eliminate.

Once you get going with the partner G-spot massage, we urge you to speak up immediately if you find a leg going to sleep, a back in spasm, or a finger cramping. Even if you’re on the verge of something great happening, don’t allow the discomfort to continue.

There are six basic positions we’ve used for easy access to the G-spot. The first two can work equally well for self-pleasuring.

The most likely way for you to reach your own G-spot is on your back with your legs spread. Try leaning against a bed’s headboard or other comfortable prop. Though you probably can’t maintain it for long, the best access often comes with your legs in the air or your knees pressed up against your chest.

Take a lesson here from the
Kama Sutra
. One of the reasons you see so many pillows in
Kama Sutra
artwork is to provide the support needed for lengthy play. Prop up your back, neck, and head if needed. Put throw pillows under your knees. If watching erotic scenes has an affect on you, try to set yourself up in front of a mirror.

This woman-on-back position also allows easy vagina access and viewing for a giver sitting between the receiver’s legs, especially if the giver moves up as close as possible. This is great for eye contact, too.

To make this position work for both giver and receiver, you’ll need to deal with your intersecting legs. The giver can put both under, both over, or one over and one under the receiver’s legs. As givers, we always lean against a prop of some sort and put pillows under the knees for continuing comfort and minimum physical stress. Bear in mind that you may be in this position for a while.

Wrist strain is a common physical problem when giving G-spot massage to a receiver on her back. While sitting between her legs and facing the vagina directly, the palm-up hand often gets cocked unnaturally towards the thumb. Sometimes, the giver can turn at an angle to compensate, but this complicates the conflux of legs.

To adjust even more, the giver can move outside the woman’s legs. Have her leg rest over the giver’s lap. By sitting underneath one of her legs, the giver can adjust the angle of the hand entering the vagina to be perfectly straight ahead. Again, move as close as possible to reduce long-term strain.

You can see why we suggest you practice before you really get into it.

Another variation of this position places the giver by the receiver’s side, either lying or sitting. As before, the receiver is free to use pillows and props for maximum comfort. The giver reaches a hand over her hips and belly to the vagina. It can be difficult to avoid arm and hand strain in this position, so rest the heel of the hand on her pubic bone. For many women, this pressure is arousing and may even stimulate the vagina from the outside.

A great advantage of this arrangement is the closeness and intimacy it creates. It allows for kissing, eye-gazing, and much easier communication without interrupting the flow of G-spot stimulation.

This variant of lying by her side is more comfortable for some. The woman lies comfortably on the edge of the bed with whatever cushions are comfortable for her. She can lie flat or lean back against the headboard.

The giver sits in a small chair, preferably without arms, next to the bed. If the giver’s arms are long enough to comfortably reach the receiver’s vagina for long periods of time, this position gives maximum comfort for both giver and receiver.

When the woman is upright on her knees, she can lean forward and bend over to reach inside the vagina. So, this position works equally well for self-pleasuring. She has complete freedom to sway, gyrate, and dance as her spirit — and fingers — move her.

This stance works well for a giver seated in front of her, with pillows or other support. Because it allows such easy palm-up access, it’s probably the best for G-spot discovery practices. Of course, the downside is the fatigue that may develop by balancing upright for too long.

If the receiver can comfortably squat long enough on her feet with knees bent, she provides the most open access to her vagina. Again, the giver sits in front of her, leaning against a couch or other support, if desired. Alternately, the woman can sit on the side of the giver’s lap by resting one of her butt cheeks on one of the giver’s legs. This lap variation also allows easy access to her open vagina.

Doggie-style lovemaking has a certain appeal to many lovers. Some prefer the woman on her hands and knees with the giver seated behind. Of course, in this position the G-spot is on the bottom of the vagina, so the giver’s hand needs to be palm down. Spreading her weight on four limbs instead of two tends to be easier for a long-term pleasuring session, and this position allows the woman to move more freely than when lying down.