Feros and the Underworld Prince (28 page)

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Authors: A.L. Bridges

Tags: #humor, #gods and goddesses, #paranormal, #contemporary, #romance, #fantasy, #supernatural, #action, #supernatural abilities, #mythology

BOOK: Feros and the Underworld Prince
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Please… tell me that you’re joking… and that you were at least wearing clothes if you aren’t.” I beg.


Okay… but I’d be lying on both counts. She said something about her coming here being a mistake if you were just going to sleep with every whore from here to Baltimore. I’m pretty sure I should take offense at being called a whore, but I have no clue what a Baltimore is.” Nagi says as I feel my last chance with Cheza slipping away.


It’s a city in… Cincinnati…” I reply as my love life corrodes around me. I hear a knock at my door so I trundle over to answer it.


Hey man, are you ready to g—oh, sorry if I’m interrupting.” Travis says when he notices Nagi as I finish putting on my pants.


You’re not; let’s go… I really need a drink.” I reply, downtrodden as I shut the door behind me.

We leave Graythorn Hall and start walking to town.


Is that the girl you were talking about earlier?” Travis asks.


Yeah…” I reply simply.


So… do you want to talk about what’s bothering you?” Travis asks as we walk into the forested path that leads into town.


Nah, I think I’m just going to try and drink this problem away.” I reply.

I do want to talk about it, but I can’t without explaining my situation, which would blow my cover. We head into the subway tunnel and wait for a train for about five minutes. Travis pulls a folded flyer from his pocket and checks it for directions before we get off at the second counter-clockwise stop. This part of town seems pretty upscale with large houses and expensive looking restaurants. I follow Travis for about five blocks until we reach a large club.


This is the place?” I ask incredulously. We walk up to the door where a bouncer stops us.


Who sent you?” the bouncer asks.


What was her name again… Jenny! No wait, Penny!” Travis says.

 

 


Whenever I picture her, for some reason Latin cruise ships come to mind… Cruz ships… Penelope!” I exclaim and the bouncer waves us in.

The place isn’t packed, but it is a bit crowded. Travis and I head to the bar and yell our drink orders over the music. The bartender hands us our drinks and leaves without seeing identification or money.


Hey, aren’t you the guy that won the arm-wrestling competition yesterday?” An Indian guy asks Travis. I scan his aura and see orange with black streaks… or is it black with orange streaks? My guess is that he’s a weretiger, but he isn’t enhanced.


Yeah, that was me.” Travis replies.


That was impressive, man. So do you do any martial arts?” the guy asks as I see a pair of feathery white wings fluttering through the crowd.


Excuse me for a moment.” I say and make a beeline towards those wings.


Lila, what are you doing here?” I ask as I turn her around.


Cole? Lookie Aimee, its Cole! Hi Cole!” Lila drunkenly exclaims.

The blonde girl in front of Lila turns around and I recognize her as Lila’s fairy friend Aimee, whom I met at Lila’s birthday party last year. Aimee’s eyes go wide in recognition of me.


Please don’t tell my mom.” Aimee pleads.


How did you two even get in here? Alright, I’m taking you guys home.” I tell them.


Aw, come on! Loosen up Cole! Have a drink with us!” Megan, the brunette fairy friend that I also met at Lila’s party, says after coming over with a drink in each hand.


Fine…” I reply as I take the brightly colored drink that Megan is offering.


But only one drink and then I’m taking all of you home.” I tell them.


Yay!” Lila exclaims as she clings onto me.

In retrospect, I really should have seen that something was going to go horribly wrong; after all, when in the history of the world has ‘only one drink’ ever been only one drink?


 

 

 

 

Chapter 26: Waking Up with Disgust

[September 21st]

I awaken in an unfamiliar bed, wearing only my boxers, with a pounding headache, and a small bushy tail in my face that belongs to a familiar looking chinchilla.


Hello Colton.” I grumble and push him away as I notice a magnificent ass next to my right hand… a tan ass, next to my feathered-wing covered right hand… Oh you have got to be shitting me!

(Dat jailbait ass! i.e. the last ass you will see other than Ramrod Randy’s in block 2)


Airi, please tell me what happened last night.”

(Oh, I think you know what happened. You’d think that your first experience with fairy alcohol would have been enough to warn you that you shouldn’t drink it)


Oh, that little bitch! Wait, so did Lila and I… did we…”

(I recall you telling Lila, ‘you’re like my little toe; you’re short, cute, and I’m probably going to bang you on my couch tonight.’ Lila came back by telling you that her place was closer)


Augh… I’m so disgusted with myself…”

Lila’s bedroom door opens and a boyish-looking man that is about 5’6” with long blonde hair looks at the situation. His eyes narrow when they get to me. He charges into the room with a six inch knife, jumps over Lila, and flies toward me as my vision kicks in and his aura identifies him as a fairy. I use my left hand to stop the incoming blade as it plunges toward my heart.


What did you do to the princess?” the guy asks with an uninflected tone and a practically pre-pubescent voice.

(As your attorney, you have two defenses: ‘But your honor, she gave me that come hither look!’ and ‘Those body shots were all her; I was just trying to clean her with my tongue, I swear!’)


Never mind, don’t bother replying when the answer is obvious.” the guy says and pours his weight onto the knife.

I move my left hand down, grab the blade, and snap it from the handle as I push my right hand against his chest, and thrust my hips upward, rolling him off the left side of the bed and onto the floor.


Would you just calm down!” I exclaim when I have him pinned.


So you had your fun with the princess and now it’s my turn, is that it?” the guy expressionlessly accuses.


What?” I ask confused until I realize that this guy’s chest is kind of squishy.


HOLY SHIT! YOU’RE A WOMAN!?” I shout as I reel back. My attacker of uncertain gender takes this opportunity to get me on my back.


Yes, you ass; Now sit still and let me kill you so I can kill myself to atone for my failure.” she says with a monotone.


Charlotte, stop screaming… I’ve got a massive headache. Cole didn’t do anything; nothing hurts besides my head.” Lila says as she sits up out of bed.

Lila walks over to her dresser, pulls out some clothes, and throws them on. Well I am just super relieved that I didn’t have sex with a fifteen year old!


Cole, if memory serves from the last morning I woke up with you, you owe me breakfast.” Lila states as I recall the promise I made to her the morning after I wiped out the memories of her rape.


Alright, just lead me to the kitchen and I’ll make pancakes and bacon.” I tell her as I stand up.


That sounds good… bacon can help a hangover, right?” Lila asks as she opens her bedroom door.


I’m not sure, but I’ll fix you something that will. Do you have any orange juice?” I inquire as I follow her down the hall. Lila stops and turns around.


Charlotte! Do we have any orange juice?” Lila calls out.


I’d like to say that young girls that ditch their bodyguards to go to a party and get trashed deserve their hangovers… but yes we do.” Charlotte emotionlessly says as she walks out of the bedroom.

I don’t know how I didn’t realize that Charlotte was a woman; it’s obvious to me (despite her nearly non-existent bust) by the rest of her physical features, the way she walks, and the cold glare in her eyes whenever she looks at me.


Yeah sorry about that… and ease up on your attitude towards Cole; you’re in the presence of a god.” Lila says sincerely, but finishes in an almost teasing fashion.


Wait, you’re
that
Cole?” Charlotte asks with her usual lack of emotion, so I nod.


The one that tortured Aengus Og to death in the middle of a banquet and took his spot as a member of the Tuatha De?” Charlotte clarifies. I nod in response once again.


What are you doing here? I thought you were dead?” Charlotte asks.


Yeah, about that… I’ll explain over breakfast.” I reply as we walk into the kitchen of Lila’s rather large penthouse.

Lila pulls out the stuff to start making bacon while Charlotte hands me an apron so I don’t get grease burns on my bare chest. Lila and Charlotte leave the kitchen and I start cooking the bacon while pouring two glasses of orange juice. I gulp down one of the glasses and pour some of my blood into the second glass, which I bring to Lila in the dining room.


Airi, please take care of Lila’s hangover and reconnect my blood that is already in her. Please take care of my hangover as well.”

(Fine… but don’t make this a regular thing!)

I return to the kitchen, finish the bacon, and start cooking the pancakes. Ten minutes later, I walk into the dining room holding a platter of pancakes, a plate of bacon, and three plates. Charlotte goes into the kitchen and returns with the silverware, butter, and maple syrup.


Alright so I want some answers, Cole.” Lila demands as she eats her pancakes.


Chief among them being what happened to your arm? The bandages are really noticeable when you are only wearing that apron and your boxers.” Lila says.

I sigh heavily as I stop eating and unwrap my bandages. Lila gasps and gapes when she sees my arm.


Cole…” Lila quietly says with her eyes full of concern.


My left arm was bitten off by a giant snake in the Underworld while I was preventing Cheza from being eaten by said snake. I ended up making a new one out of the same material as my swords.” I explain.


But doesn’t that mean that you can’t feel your left arm?” Lila asks.


I have no sense of touch with my left arm, but I still have proprioception or the sense of my arm’s placement relative to my body. The inside of the arm is all muscle tissue and blood so I can feel the nerves in the muscle, but all nerve endings that were in my skin are gone as a trade-off for having an indestructible arm; that’s why I was able to snap the blade of Charlotte’s knife earlier.” I inform her.


Oh Cole…” Lila says with this pitying look.


So why are you at Fogquartz?” Charlotte asks somewhat snidely, but that might just be my imagination because neither her tone nor expression has changed.


I’m working with The Agency on an investigation. I’m posing as a student at the university to get information; that’s why I had to silence you the other day in the café.” I say while turning to Lila.


*Gasp* Is that guy you were with a bad guy!?” Lila asks with an excited light in her eyes.


No, he’s sort of my friend, but my cover might have been blown had I allowed you to finish your question.” I explain.


So if I see you in town, am I not allowed to say hi…?” Lila pouts. This is totally unfair; it should be illegal for a girl to grow up and become hot yet still retain a cuteness that bends me to her will.

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