Fever (36 page)

lighted on the bottle he’d left and she snatched it up to put it away in one of the cabinets.

Worry and anxiety ate at her until her stomach tossed and turned. What was Jack into?

She checked her watch and then went to the drawer where Jace had left money for her to use. She

wasn’t sure where the nearest market was, but she could ask the doorman. Hopefully it wasn’t a long

walk. The weather sucked and she didn’t want to waste money on a cab.

Already she was running possibilities through her head. She would cook a fabulous meal. All of

Jack’s favorites. And she’d make him sandwiches to take with him because she knew he wouldn’t

agree to stay. She could buy nonperishable items he could stow in his bag so he’d have something to

eat for more than a few days.

She peeled off several of the bills and stuffed them into her jeans pocket and then headed down to

ask the doorman for the nearest place she could buy groceries.

• • •

entrance. The doorman had advised her to take a cab and she’d relented when she’d seen the increase

in rain. It had morphed from a light drizzle to more of a steady downpour. Not what she wanted to be

caught out in on her way back from the market carrying groceries.

When she unlocked her apartment and walked in, she was stunned to see Jace in the living room,

his expression dark and forbidding. He advanced on her before she even had time to deposit the bags

on the kitchen bar.

“Where the fuck have you been?” he demanded.

Her eyes widened and she glanced down at the grocery sacks. “I—I went shopping.”

“Anything else you want to tell me?”

The accusation in his voice stung. What on earth did he think? Did he believe she was cheating on

him? Sneaking out to see a lover? How had he even known she was gone to begin with?

He wrested the bags from her grip and dropped them with a
thud
on the bar before turning his

furious gaze back to her.

Her mind blanked. She took an instinctive step back and Jace swore.

“I’m not going to hurt you, damn it.”

“Why are you so angry?” she asked. “I just went down to the market. I was only gone an hour.”

“You think this is about you going out for groceries?”

His tone was incredulous.

“What else am I supposed to think? You’re acting ridiculous, Jace. I went to get groceries, for

God’s sake.”

“Let’s try this instead. I’m at work in an important meeting and I get a call from Kaden, who

informs me you have a visitor.”

Her mouth dropped open in shock. “How does Kaden know anything about who’s at my apartment?

He’s not even supposed to be protecting me anymore.” Her eyes narrowed as understanding slowly

dawned. “You
still
don’t trust me.” It nearly killed her to say those words, the truth. And it was the

truth. He was bristling with rage and he’d hired those men to watch her. “He wasn’t here to protect

me. He was here to spy on me.”

“It would appear I have good reason,” Jace snapped.

Hope died inside Bethany. She turned her painful gaze on him, hurt beyond words. “Jack was here.

But then you already know that.”

“Yes.
Jack,
” he spat out. “What the fuck was he doing here?”

Her brow furrowed and this time she took a step forward, anger tightening her features. “He came

to see me. He was here at Christmas, only I wasn’t here because I was with you. He had to spend the

holiday alone. No food. No warm place to be. Alone, Jace. On the streets. I don’t need to tell you

what a wonderful holiday that makes for.”

“How did he even know to show up here?” Jace demanded.

She blinked. “I gave him the address.”

“And when did you do this?”

She flushed. “The day I went to see him.”

Jace’s lips tightened into a nearly indistinguishable line. “You invited him here.”

She nodded. “Of course.”

He swore again. “There is no ‘of course’ to it, Bethany. What the fuck were you thinking?”

“What is wrong with you?” she demanded. “Am I not allowed to invite people to this apartment?

Did I get it wrong and it’s not really for my use? Or is it only uses I have your approval for?”

“You invited a man who damn near got you killed. He got you attacked. He’s the last person you

need to have anything to do with.”

The blood drained from her face. “He never intended for me to be hurt. He’d never do anything to

hurt me.”

Disgust flooded Jace’s face. His eyes were swamped with it.

“Really, Bethany? And why do you suppose he’s here now?”

She didn’t like his tone. His expression. She liked nothing about this confrontation. He was so

angry. Sickness pitted deep in her stomach, curling and knotting into a painful ball.

“He came to see me,” she said in a low voice. “He’s cold and hungry. I fixed him something to eat.

I went out for groceries so I could cook dinner for him.”

Jace reached over the back of the couch and pulled up Jack’s backpack. He dangled it from his

finger, his eyes going cold with rage.

“Is that the only reason he came? Where is he now?”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply. He said he had things to do. He wanted to leave the

backpack here because he didn’t want it stolen from him. You don’t understand how it works out

there. If someone sees you have anything, they take it. They’ll stab you, hurt you, kill you to get it. You

can get murdered for five dollars.”

“Oh I have no doubt someone would kill him for what’s in here,” Jace bit out.

He yanked it and gaped open the top so she could see inside. What little blood was left in her

cheeks fled and she wavered, teetering unsteadily until she had to reach out to the bar to gain her

balance.

Drugs. Lots of drugs. Prescription pills. What looked like marijuana and other stuff she had no idea

of but it looked . . . bad. Really bad.

“I found this in your bedroom,” Jace bit out. “With this shit in it. I hope to fuck you didn’t know

what was in it when you agreed to let him leave it here.”

“I didn’t know,” she whispered.

“Jesus, Bethany. How long are you going to allow him to manipulate you? Until someone kills you?

What’s it going to take for you to wake up and see the truth staring you in the face?”

“He won’t hurt me!” she shouted. “Just stop it!”

Jace tossed the bag back onto the couch, his entire body shaking with anger.

“I won’t have it. Not here. Not where you are. As long as you wear
my
collar, you’re under my

protection. He’s not allowed here, Bethany. Either you tell him that or I will and next time I won’t

come alone. I’ll bring the police and I’ll have him arrested. I don’t give a fuck if that pisses you off or

not. My one and
only
concern here is you. I don’t give a fuck about a man who holds you in so little

regard that he’d expose you to this.”

“I won’t choose between the two of you!” she yelled. “I won’t! You don’t understand. I can’t turn

my back on him. I won’t!”

“So that’s it then,” Jace said grimly.

“It doesn’t have to be! Why can’t you just leave so I can work this out with Jack? Why can’t you

trust me that much?”

“It’s not you I don’t trust,” he said just as loud. “Damn it, Bethany, use your head! Do you know

what would happen if you were found with this shit? It would be
you
going to jail, not your precious

Jack. You’d take the rap for him, and do you think it would make any difference?”

She shook her head. “No. No! Just go, Jace. I’ll take care of this. Just go.”

“You forget this is
my
apartment,” he ground out.

She went even whiter, feeling sensation leach from her face. She went numb to her toes. Then she

turned around and walked stiffly to the door.

“Bethany, stop.”

It was a command. One that, for the first time, she ignored. When she heard him start after her, she

started running. Out the door toward the elevator. She got inside, hearing Jace as he ran down the hall

shouting her name. She punched the button repeatedly, praying it would close.

It slammed shut when he was two feet from the door, his curses ringing in her ears as the elevator

began its descent.

When she got to the lobby, the doorman tried to stop her. Jace had probably called him. But she

darted around him, ignoring his pleas for her to stop. She ran outside, and into the street, nearly

getting hit by a cab that came to a screeching halt mere inches from her legs.

Before he could get out, she ran to the passenger side and threw open the door.

“Are you crazy?” the cabbie bellowed. “I could have killed you!”

“Just drive,” she choked out. “I don’t care where, just get me out of here, please.”

She must have looked deranged. Tears she hadn’t even realized she was shedding now formed wet

trails down her cheeks. The taxi driver’s face softened before he turned around and then accelerated,

waving at angry drivers behind him who’d been forced to stop when he’d braked so hard. Horns

blared but faded in the distance as they sped down the street.

chapter thirty

Bethany walked the last block to her apartment, numb. Numb from cold. Numb from the relentless

rain soaking through her clothing. She hadn’t gone far in the cab. She hadn’t had much cash left on her

from her shopping trip. And so she’d walked. Endlessly, her thoughts in turmoil, hurt crashing through

her heart.

Jace had a right to be angry. She didn’t refute that. But he hadn’t even given her a chance to

explain. He’d been so furious. And then he’d reminded her that he owned the apartment. That she was

there due to his generosity. He’d reminded her that she had nothing. Nothing but the hopelessness of

their situation.

He didn’t trust her. He’d hammered that point home to her over and over. And she couldn’t exist in

a relationship where he suspected the worst at every turn. She’d never be able to overcome that. No

matter how hard she tried, how much she gave to him, she’d never get to a place where she had his

trust.

She wasn’t even sure why she was back. But she needed her things. She’d take some of the

clothing. Certainly not all of it, but she knew she needed the coat. And the jeans and the shirts. She

could take the food she’d bought for Jack and then maybe wait for him to come back. Had he already

been back? Had she missed him?

At least they’d have something to eat for the next while. She could check with the shelters she

frequented and maybe, just maybe, one would have a bed.

Or maybe she should just call Jace. Try to explain. He deserved that much at least. He needed to

know
why
she could never turn her back on Jack. She’d never fully explained. Never shared that part

of herself.

Would he understand? Could he possibly understand?

But what good would it do if he was never going to trust her?

When she trudged into the entrance of her apartment building, the doorman looked alarmed. She

waved off his concern and headed for the elevator, only wanting to be somewhere warm and dry,

even if it was temporary.

There had to be a way to fix this. Jace was the best thing in her life. The only thing that was good

and untarnished. She didn’t want Jack’s problems to touch Jace. Jace didn’t deserve that. He

deserved someone without the stains she carried on her soul. Somebody he could trust fully. And

maybe she didn’t even blame him for the seeds of mistrust that had been planted. She wanted his trust,

wanted him to have faith in her, but in reality, with all he knew of her, was it even reasonable that

he’d trust her so readily?

A wave of sadness overwhelmed her. She didn’t want to be the person she’d been for so long. She

wanted to be someone worthy of love and trust. She wanted someone to believe in her. She’d thought

Jace could be that person. She’d been wrong.

She let herself into her apartment and went into the kitchen, intent on making some hot cocoa. When

she opened the cabinet where the mugs were kept, her gaze lighted on the bottle of pills Jack had left.

For the longest moment she simply stared. And then as if she were in a daze, her hand slowly reached

out, her fingers curling around the plastic bottle.

She brought it down and set it on the counter in front of her. One pill. Just one. It would make things

more manageable. It would transport her to a warmer, happier place. It would give her a sense of

well-being. It would give her confidence and a much-needed boost so she could make decisions.

It would take her away from the awful reality she was facing. And it would get her through her

impending confrontation with Jace.

Before she could think better of it, she opened the bottle with shaking hands and shook out a pill.

Or should she take two? It had been a while. Forever, it seemed, since she’d taken any. One would

probably knock her on her ass. Two might just knock her out. Period.

She put the second back in the pill bottle and then threw the other one into her mouth. She grabbed