Fever (39 page)

have to pay the price.”

“But what am I supposed to do? I can’t just walk away from him. I can’t just leave him alone and

with nothing. Not when I have all the things he doesn’t.”

Jace stared into her tear-drenched eyes and realized that she wouldn’t be the woman he loved if

she could just walk away from her family. He stroked her cheek, wiping away the dampness, and then

he sighed.

“I’ll figure something out for Jack. But you have to understand if I step in, that means you step

away.”

Her eyes became troubled and she dropped her gaze again.

“Could he . . .”

She bit into her lip and went silent.

“Could he what, baby? You don’t have to be afraid to ask me anything.”

“But I have no right to ask this,” she said in a low voice. “You’ve given me so much and I’ve given

you nothing in return.”

“You
are
everything to me.
Everything,
Bethany. I don’t say that lightly. I’ve damn sure never said

that to another woman. Hell, I’ve never said it to another human being.”

She stared at him with such confusion and amazement that he couldn’t control himself any longer.

He hauled her into his arms and against his chest, anchoring her so tight that it was doubtful she could

breathe.

“Ask, Bethany.”

“I was going to ask you if Jack could stay in the apartment,” she whispered. “Just for a little while.

Until he gets on his feet and can afford a place of his own.”

Jace carefully extricated Bethany from his hold and set her far enough away so that she could see

him and he could see her. His expression was utterly serious as he stared down at her.

“If you move in with me, I’ll see what I can do about letting Jack move into your apartment.”

She didn’t react to the subtle blackmail. Not that it was even subtle. But he wasn’t above using

whatever means necessary to get her into his space, in his bed and more firmly entrenched in his life.

“You’d do that?” she whispered.

Hell yes, he’d do it. And not suffer one iota of guilt in the process.

“Yes, I would do that.”

She threw her arms around him, nearly toppling him backward on the couch. “Thank you,” she said

fiercely. “I don’t deserve you, Jace. I thank God every day for you, though.”

He frowned at her assertion but since she hadn’t balked at the idea of moving in with him he didn’t

push the matter.

“I can’t wait to tell Jack,” she said. “He won’t believe it.”

Jace held up his hands. “There are a few conditions, Bethany.”

She went silent and looked questioningly at him.

“I won’t have drugs in that apartment. I won’t have them anywhere
near
you. If Kaden or Trevor

finds them at any time, he’s out. And if you see Jack, you’ll do it with either Kaden or Trevor or

myself.
That
I won’t bend on.”

Bethany was quiet. He could see the wheels turning in her mind. He found himself holding his

breath, wondering if he’d been too forceful. But it was who he was. He couldn’t change that,

wouldn’t change it for something as important as her safety.

“All right,” she said quietly. “I’ll explain to Jack.”

“No.”

She lifted her brows and they furrowed in confusion.

“
I’ll
explain to Jack,” Jace said grimly. “I won’t put you in an uncomfortable situation. Let me be

the asshole. I have no problem with that role when it comes to you.”

“You’re not an asshole,” she said in a fierce voice that made him smile.

“Does that mean you’ll be happy to stay with me and not think me a huge asshole for manipulating

you into moving in with me?”

Her eyes went soft and then she leaned into his embrace, her body melting like liquid satin over his

skin. So smooth and warm. So fucking perfect. His hands glided down her back, wishing like hell his

robe wasn’t covering her.

“I never wanted to leave,” she said faintly. “I thought it was what you wanted.”

“Shhh, baby, no. Don’t say that. Never that.”

“And I worry, Jace. I do. I worry where this is going to go and how long you’re going to be happy

with . . . me.”

The unspoken fear was as evident as if she’d voiced it. She was worried that this was temporary

for him and she worried what would happen to her when, in her mind, he got tired of her and moved

on.

“And I still worry that I’m not good enough for you,” she said in a starkly vulnerable voice.

“Oh, baby.”

She shook her head and continued on. “I don’t fit into your world. How could I? I’m afraid that one

day you’re going to realize that.”

He stroked her face with his palm, allowing her to keep her head nestled against his shoulder.

“You
are
my world, baby. We’ve been over this.”

He could feel her squeezing her eyes shut and she trembled. He hugged her tighter and kissed her

silky hair.

“I want to believe that,” she whispered. “Because you’re mine, Jace. And that scares me. You’re

my entire world. Everything that’s wonderful. The best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve lost a

lot in my life, and I survived. But if I lost you, it would devastate me as nothing else has or ever

could. You have so much power over me and that’s frightening.”

He closed his eyes, inhaling deep as her words washed over him. She hadn’t said she loved him,

but he was convinced that it was only because for her that was the final bridge to gap. A sign of her

ultimate submission. And maybe she wasn’t ready for that yet. He could wait. Forever, if it took that

long. He was more than happy to spend the next forty years convincing her that he wasn’t going

anywhere. Eventually he’d hear those words from her lips and that day, when it came, would be

forever engraved in his memory.

“Baby, listen to me.”

She shifted back again, her gaze meeting his. He touched her mouth, tracing the bow.

“The kind of power you’re talking about isn’t about control. It isn’t about your submission. It isn’t

about my dominance. It’s about emotional power. But baby, you have exactly that same power over

me. When it comes to our relationship, you have far more power than I do.”

Her eyes widened in surprise.

“It’s true,” he said before she could put her protest to words. “You have more power, more control

than you could possibly imagine. My heart is in your hands. That’s not bullshit. I’m not saying stuff I

think you want to hear in order to manipulate you. I can’t be any more honest than this. I’m yours,

baby. I’m putting it out there. My heart, my soul, it all belongs to you.”

“Jace.”

His name exploded in a rush of air as she stared stricken into his eyes. Her mouth rounded in shock

and her hands trembled as she raised them to his face. When she touched him, he nuzzled into her

palm and then pressed a kiss to the soft skin.

“Really?” she whispered.

He smiled. “You can’t think I have a habit of saying this shit to every woman I sleep with.”

She shook her head. “No. I can’t imagine that at all.”

“Then believe it, baby. See me. Believe in yourself. In
us.
This is real. As real as it gets. Nothing

has ever been more real in my life.”

“Okay,” she said in a quiet, breathy voice that sent a sweet rush over his skin.

“You’ll move in?”

She nodded.

“You’ll let me handle things with Jack?”

She nodded again.

“Are you prepared to fully submit to me? And not just in the bedroom, baby. In all aspects of our

relationship.”

There was only a brief hesitation before she nodded a third time.

“Never run out on me again, Bethany. No matter what happens, you stay and fight. Yell at me,

argue, throw something at me, whatever you want to do, but never walk away from me. You stay and

fight for what we have. You know I have a temper. And you know I’ll say stupid shit I don’t mean.

But you can’t tuck tail and run when things get rough. Promise me that.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him, warm and sweet. “I promise.”

chapter thirty-two

“Jace,” Bethany whispered close to his ear.

“Yes, baby?”

Bethany was cuddled into his side, her body limp and sated from their lovemaking. And if Jace had

any doubt as to whether it was lovemaking before, that doubt had disappeared. They’d spent endless

hours kissing, touching, discovering each other’s bodies, and he’d been especially delighted by

Bethany’s boldness in bed.

She was still adorably shy and sometimes hesitant, but she was growing in confidence and Jace

delighted in every initiative she took. There’d been no place for dominance and kink in last night’s

rediscovery of one another. He’d simply poured every ounce of his emotion into their lovemaking

until they were both spent.

She levered up on her elbow, her head leaving its place on his shoulder. He wanted to pull her

back, not liking the sudden absence of her in his arms, but she was looking at him with furrowed

eyebrows. Something was on her mind and he didn’t want to shut her down.

She lifted her hand to touch the choker around her neck, her fingers tracing the lines as she seemed

to collect her thoughts.

“What is this to you?” she asked quietly. “What is it really? You told me in the apartment that as

long as I wore your
collar
that I was under your protection. What does that mean?”

He sighed, hating his inability to control his tongue when he was pissed off. This wasn’t the way he

wanted to explain the significance of her wearing his jewelry.

“It’s a symbol of my ownership,” he said in a careful tone. “It’s a gift a man gives to his

submissive. To a woman he cherishes who is in his care. It means that you belong to me. That you’re

submissive to me.”

Her brows furrowed harder and she was silent for a long moment.

“Why didn’t you tell me when you gave it to me?”

He pushed up to one elbow so they were more eye to eye. He reached out to touch her cheek,

caressing the smooth skin. Then he let his fingers drift down to the choker, to the diamond that rested

against her throat.

“I was afraid that it was too soon. That you wouldn’t fully understand. I didn’t want to pressure

you. I was afraid you wouldn’t want it if you knew what it truly meant.”

She bit her lip pensively. “But Jace, why would you want me to wear it if I didn’t understand the

significance? It’s not real until I know what it means. Any satisfaction you felt at having me wear it

had to have been hollow because I didn’t know what it was I wore.”

His lips twisted ruefully. “You have me there. And you’re right. For me it was enough to see it

around your neck and for
me
to know what it meant. But you’re correct. It could never mean what it

should until
you
recognized and accepted its true meaning.”

“It’s important to you,” she said, not as a question but as a statement of fact.

He nodded. “It is. But perhaps not for the reasons you think. It’s not that I’m this asshole who has to

mark you as a possession. The simple truth is I like seeing it around your neck because I gave it to you

and it’s a symbol of your gift to
me
.”

Her eyes widened. “I hadn’t considered it from that perspective.”

He smiled. “No, you’re still convinced that you give me nothing, that you have nothing to give. But

that’s not true, baby. You’ve given me the most precious gift I’ll ever receive. Yourself.”

Tears glittered brightly in her fierce blue eyes. Then to his surprise, she reached back to unfasten

the choker. She let it slide from her neck and then held it out to him.

Panic took hold and he stared wordlessly back at her. Was she rejecting it?

“I didn’t know what it meant before,” she said, still holding the choker out to him. “I want you to

put it on when we
both
know what it means.”

His chest nearly exploded as it tightened and swelled. His hand shook when he took it from her

fingers. He pushed himself upright to his knees and then he said, “Get on your knees, baby. Kneel for

me here on the bed.”

She positioned herself in front of him, so achingly beautiful with her tousled hair and sleepy eyes.

Eyes that were full of something he didn’t dare hope for. Love.

He held the choker so she could see it spread in his hands. Then he met her gaze.

“Will you wear my collar, Bethany? It’s not only a symbol of my possession. It’s a symbol of your

gift to me but also my gift to you. I will absolutely cherish and protect you. See that your every need is

met. Your body will be mine, but mine will also be yours. I will love and adore you with everything

that is me.”

“Yes. Oh, Jace, yes,” she breathed.

He slipped the choker once more around her neck. It was all the more sweet this time because as

she’d said, now she knew its significance. She accepted it and
him
. Could he possibly ask for more

than this?

He fastened it and then ran his fingers around to the front, touching the diamond teardrop so it

dangled just so. Then he leaned down and claimed her mouth, his tongue finding hers in a heated rush