Fianna Kelly Versus the Jeebees: A Collection of Steampunk Stories (29 page)

It
was quiet and I noticed the sailors were staring past me. I turned around and
saw that Gwen had come forward. She was smiling like a kid with her hand in a
cookie jar. She said, "I think the Admirals will be upset when they notice
their candy is missing." She held out a piece of chocolate. "These
are filled with cherries and brandy and are so delicious. I can't get high by
eating them, but it would be fun to try."

 I
took the candy from her and took a bite of it. "This is rather good. Save
a few for me."

I
turned back around, "For those who don't know, this young lady is Gwendoline.
She is a distant relative of mine."

Gwen
added, "A very distant relative," and laughed.

"She
likes to show off. 'Tis a family trait."

Captain
Benton said, "Speaking of showing off, you should have seen the spectacle
earlier. We were flying along and there was a thunderclap followed by a huge
fireball in the sky. That's how we came upon these poor men; sitting in their
gondola with no balloon."

The
room was quiet so he continued. "We went down to rescue them and salvage
what we could. To be truthful, mostly the latter. Billy found one of your paper
targets, asked about it, and here we are."

"Well
Captains, what do you think of my new crew?"

Captain
Plumer said, "My men and I would like to join."

Captain
Benton added, "These look like fine men; well-seasoned and ready to fight.
If your men need work when they've served their country and queen long enough,
they can join my crew."

I
said, "I wish you many safe journeys. When next we meet, the first round
is on me, as usual."

He
left and the contraption folded itself up and followed him.

I
was getting used to giving orders. I told the pilots to resume course, but
slow. With all this extra weight, I felt we would drop if we stopped moving for
too long. I told all the men to find a seat someplace.

I
said to Captain Plumer, "Now Captain, I'd like to hear the rest of your
story. When we arrived at the army base, they told us you were going to look at
where the jeebees were hiding."

"That's
correct," he started. "Our orders were to circle the mountain a few times
looking for all access routes. It was a stupid idea, but the Admirals didn't
ask for my opinion."

"I've
been in the same room with them and I believe that stupid does not describe how
close-minded and self-centred your Admirals are. Based on the secrecy of our
departure, I would even accuse them of intentionally sending you out to be
killed. Please go on."

"I
think the jeebees waited until they were certain we weren't some passenger ship
off course before taking action. We noticed something like a colander or metal
dish in a cave mouth. It swung around and our balloon caught fire all at
once."

Gwen
said, "That sounds like something new."

The
Captain resumed his story, "We jettisoned the envelope, pointed the
gondola away from the mountains, and managed to keep it level until we hit. We
floundered around in a bog until your pirate friend rescued us."

I
said, "You are fortunate he was there. He is usually flying over
Ireland."

I
turned to the pilots, "Asher, it appears the jeebees are not only
expecting us, but are prepared to knock us out of the sky. Find us someplace to
set down at least ten miles away from them. We need a plan of battle."

I
looked around the room. "Gwen, Captain, Sergeant, and Lieutenants. We are
going to make plans. Follow me."

We
went to my stateroom and all sat around the table, except Gwen who was looking
out the windows.

I
began, "Gwen asked me earlier why I was placed in command. I have been
thinking about that and would like to turn command over to Captain Plumer
now."

Captain
Plumer said, "Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. I'm not sure if you
are really a Major, but if so you outrank me and should be the one in
command."

I
said, "But I am not trained in the ways of war."

The
Sergeant said, "Neither was Joan of Arc and look what she did for
France."

I
said, "As I recall her own people burned her at the stake."

The
Captain replied, "Actually our people made them do it, and they only did
it because she wore pants."

I
said, "So can you guys give me a good reason why I was chosen? Let's go
around the table."

Lieutenant
Mills said, "We need someone who both soldiers and sailors will follow.
The sailors don't know me and the soldiers don't know Captain Plumer. We all
know and trust you."

I
said, "No-one knew about the sailors when we left. Colonel Reynolds should
have placed one of you two in charge at that time. Captain, it's your turn. Why
me?"

Captain
Plumer said, "I think you are asking the wrong question. Try this one. If
not you, who else?"

I
said, "That's something I need to think about. I don't have an answer for
that now. Let's continue."

Lieutenant
Reed said, "I think the Colonel needed to place you in charge so he could
truthfully say to the Generals that he did not send troops into battle against
their orders. We dropped off presents, the cooks dropped off lunch, and the
soldiers just came along for the ride. None of which will get him
court-martialled even if they figure it all out."

I
said, "So, he was lucky that I just happened to be waiting with a
well-armed airship... Okay Sergeant, you saw me walking down the road with
nothing but my rifle and Bradan carrying my portmanteau. Now you see me here in
my private airship and commanding three dozen men. Why did this happen to
me?"

He
said, "It's good you picked me last as I've been told I'm long-winded.
I've been admiring your rifle and gun that you have displayed so proudly on the
wall. You should know they aren't that good. The gunsmith was ordered to pick
something out for you. He picked out what he had sitting around that he didn't
like much."

"I
thought he was giving me a rifle that would help me win the tournament."

"No,
he wasn't. And it didn't matter, did it? You showed him that you were one of
the best using an untested rifle. It wasn't the rifle; it was you... He gave you
this pistol. Give me a double action revolver instead. That's a gun anyone can
use. If I had tried to shoot a jeebee with this, I would have fumbled the
hammer and the knob trying to get it right. I've seen how fast the jeebees are
and it would have shot me before I had gotten around to aiming at it. Again, it
is you that won the day for us."

"Are
you saying that I was chosen because I shoot well?"

"I
haven't gotten to the point yet. I was there on the road that day and you could
have run and hid. Instead you jumped out and showed us how to kill jeebees. I
was there in London. You could have taken shelter in the passenger car with the
other women and the children. You were out there with us. We might have won
without you, but it would have taken longer... What I am saying is you don't
surrender, you don't retreat, and most of all you don't panic. Given a choice
between you and ten Generals, I'd pick you."

Lieutenant
Reed added, "But you do not have to make all the decisions by yourself. We
are here to help you. We don't have your experience with the jeebees so you
must guide us as well."

I
turned to Gwen. "We have the answer to your question. Half of them say I
was chosen because I am adorable with a rifle in my hands and the other half
say I was chosen because there wasn't anyone else waiting to kill jeebees...
Now that is settled, shall we make plans?"

Captain
Plumer asked, "Does anyone have a map of the hills? Mine went down with
the Constellation."

The
Sergeant said, "What would you officers do without us to carry maps for
you?" and took one from his shirt pocket and gave it to me.

I
laughed and replied, "They'd likely order some poor Captain to fly over
the enemy and draw one."

I
spread out the map and said, "I would like to hear any and all suggestions
about how to attack them."

Lieutenant
Reed offered, "How about we hide in the clouds until we get close, and
then drop as fast as we can to surprise them?"

I
asked Captain Plumer, "Is that what you were doing?"

He
said, "That's what we tried. It didn't turn out so well."

I
said, "I think I know the weapon that shot at the Constellation. That
sounds similar to my cousin's anti-flood device. If there are storm clouds
near, it can create lightning bolts within them. That fits the description of
what happened."

Captain
Plumer asked, "How do we deal with it?"

"If
it's not running, we can destroy the device. If they start it up, it has to be
shut down properly first."

He
pointed to a spot on the map and said, "This was where we saw it."

I
asked, "What else did you see?"

He
pointed out two more places. "We saw entrances into the mountain here and
there. There could have been sentries at those points, but it was difficult to
tell from that high up."

Gwen
looked at the map and said, "This is likely just a staging area."

"What
is that?" I asked.

"It's
someplace close to your enemy that is safe. You don't need to transport people
and equipment from your home base if you have someplace closer and secure that
you can launch your attack from."

"So
we still don't know where the jeebees come from. Just where they have made
their home away from home."

"You
got it."

"That's
wonderful."

Lieutenant
Mills said, "What if we come in from the West in the morning so our shadow
is behind us?"

Captain
Plumer said, "While it's a good idea, this ship does not blend into the
sky like the Constellation and it means the pilots would be flying into the
glare of the sun."

Gwen
said, "We should prioritise targets. Destroy the lightning device, remove
the sentries, and drop almost everyone off at this entrance to drive them out
the other one where we will be waiting for them with both our big guns."

I
said, "That sounds like a good plan as long as you don't mind walking
home. The first jeebee coming out of that entrance will have a target it can't
miss. I prefer to have my airship someplace relatively safe when the shooting
begins."

The
Sergeant said, "You have marked two entrances. I think we should go in
both. The Lieutenants can take me and my soldiers to that one and wait 15
minutes. The rest of you could go in this one and proceed as quiet as possible.
Hopefully we can get all the jeebees caught between us by attacking at the same
time."

I
said, "That sounds like the best one so far. I'm open to any other ideas.
Also, unlike some officers that I've read about, I won't mind changing tactics
if we find one isn't working out so well for us."

I
continued, "It's been a long day for all of us. Let's get some rest.
Sergeant! There's not enough beds for everyone and it's cold outside. Keep the
stairs and walkways clear. Set up some watches and I expect breakfast ready for
me at sunrise. The rest is up to you... Gwen, you can sleep in here again if
you'd like."

Gwen
said, "I haven't slept with one of my grandmothers for a long time. I remember
that my grandpa had gone duck hunting and it was just the two of us in the
house. There was a terrible thunderstorm and she let me crawl under the covers
with her."

I
said, "That's touching, but don't get used to it. 'Tis almost time for us
to go hunting."

Luckily
for us, gas stoves don't create huge amounts of smoke so we could have a hot
meal. Most of the men had found something around to sit on, but someone had set
out a table and chairs for those I considered as my command staff. It was
relatively peaceful. I wondered if it was always like this when one went to
war.

The
Sergeant was talking with Gwen. He said. "The Major said you rescue
kidnapped people and hostages. That is a noble profession."

"Thank
you. I like to think that I make the world safer for ordinary people."

"You
also have a most unique uniform. I've never seen anything like it."

"This
suit is designed to protect me. It is a special fabric with a unique weave.
Your guns and rifles might give me a bruise. Weapons like my pistol will leave
a burn. I didn't feel anything when the jeebees shot me. In addition, the
helmet is supposed to withstand most bullets, but I don't want to test that
claim."

"Do
you get shot often?"

"Of
course, I get hit. When your opposition has weapons that fire over 100 rounds
per minute, it's hard to avoid. I really try to avoid it though. I prefer to
get in and get out without them knowing I was even there."

Captain
Plumer joined us. I said, "Good morning, Captain. What weapons do your men
have?"

He
said, "Those pirates looted everything they could from the remains of my
ship, especially the rifles and cannons"

I
said, "You do know that I ruined their cannons?"

"They
did mention that when they saw your airship. I had heard the tale before, but
hadn't put all the pieces together."

"I
have boxes of ammunition, but no extra guns or rifles. Do your men know how to
work a Gatling gun?"

"We
know how they work, but we have never fired one."

"Find
a soldier who has and tell him I said to train your men. Please do not put any
holes in my ship. The last ones took a week to repair."

"Yes,
Major. By the way, I've never known a woman who got herself into more trouble
than you. "

"I
think the line goes 'They started it', right?"

"Are
you going to finish it?"

"I
will be among the first to celebrate once it ends."

I
sat at the table, watching the sailors learning about the Gatling gun. I was
also trying to decide when to attack the jeebees. The soldiers were also
watching; staying far away as if afraid the sailors were going to shoot them.

Bradan
sounded his steam whistle. His display read:

FLYING
AT 3000 YARDS

I
motioned for him to stop the whistling and I heard the sounds of those cannons.
I looked at the sky and saw the jeebees flying at us. I called to Captain
Plumer. "The jeebees are delivering weapons for your men. Now is your
chance to try out the Gatling gun in battle."

He
looked at me and smiled.

I
started giving orders, "Have your men get it on the other side of the
Clover and bring those jeebees down. Lieutenants! Split up your men into two
squads and deal with any you find on this side. Gwen! Run to my stateroom and
bring back my rifle; the shiny one. Bradan! Please bring me a case of rifle
cartridges. I'll be looking for a good spot away from my ship."

It
took a minute to move the Gatling gun and other one before the man firing it
found how close the flying jeebees needed to be before he could hit them. We
had plenty of bullets though and the sailors made sure he didn't run out.

Most
of the jeebees fell within 100 yards of the gun, but every so often, one would
go flying over the Clover and come into range of the soldiers on that side. If
the jeebees had thought to carry something on fire, we could have lost our ride
home.

As
I expected, this was not the only ones they had sent. This was more of a
diversion. I thought of it more like practice. Bradan tapped me on the shoulder
to tell me that hundreds were advancing from the West.

We
were prepared and since our rifles fired further than their pistols, they
didn't come close. They had shields but we fired at them from different
directions and they couldn't protect themselves and fire at us at the same
time. I heard the Gatling gun firing and figured they tried to come at us from
both sides at once. I wasn't sure but suspected their shields didn't stop its
bullets.

When
the battle was over, the jeebees were all on the ground and we had a few men
with burns. The sailors went among the jeebees to take their rifles and Bradan
gathered the bodies for burial.

I
went over to Bradan. "I'm sorry, but we don't have time for you to bury
them now. I promise we'll be back."

I
called out, "Get the Gatling gun back inside. We are taking off as soon as
everyone is aboard."

I
saw Gwen and said, "I am taking your advice."

"Does
that mean you are going to act like a real officer and stay somewhere safe
while the men fight?"

"No,
it means the four of us are going up to the firing platform and make it safe
for the Clover to get close to them."

We
got aboard quickly with only a few men injured by rolling the Gatling gun over
their feet. I took a quick count of my men before ordering the pilots to take
us up.

I
said, "Sergeant. It gets very loud when we fire the cannon. We need you to
relay orders from the top of the stairs."

I
told Ethan to take us up to 2,000 feet and go as fast as we could for seven
miles. At that time, slow down and give me all the power we have for the
cannon.

I
wanted Lieutenant Reed on the controls and Lieutenant Mills helping me fire,
but they said I had that backwards. So, I sent Lieutenant Reed to get two dozen
shells, twelve of each kind. Lieutenant Mills and Gwen prepared the gun.

I
asked Gwen, "Could you be my spotter and use the telescope to find
targets."

She
replied, "I don't need that old thing."

"You
aren't going to tell me you can see like a hawk, are you?"

She
said, "No, I have this instead," and pointed to her helmet. "I
can see at two miles what you see at 100 feet."

"Maybe
you should be doing the firing then."

"I
can't see through the sights and see the target at the same time. It is better
that you are the gunner."

"Then
as soon as we slow to a crawl, find me things to shoot. Tell us whether to use
mortars or darts as well."

The
first target she saw was a lone jeebee; likely a sentry. One dart was all it
took. It may have reported we were coming, but they had to have known that
already. Gwen spotted a variety of shiny things which I turned into shiny
scraps with the mortars. She spotted six jeebees in a group and suggested I aim
a mortar at their feet to create more shrapnel. That didn't work. I had to wait
for the gun to charge up again and then I put six darts into six jeebees.

I
shot several other minor targets before we came upon what had ignited the
Constellation. Gwen confirmed it matched my description of Felix's device. She
also spotted a jeebee commander at its controls. I asked for a mortar and shot
the jeebee with it. Unfortunately, the device was running. I called to the
Sergeant that we needed to drop at least 500 feet and we needed to do it now.

I
took a step back and said, "I can't shoot the device until it is shut down
properly. Any suggestions?"

No-one
said anything for a minute.

Gwen
volunteered, "Get us in close enough for me to slide down the mooring line
to that ledge. I am sure that I can turn off the device."

I
asked, "What about when you are done?"

"I
climb back up and you blow it into little pieces."

Surprisingly,
it was as easy to accomplish as she said. I gasped when she jumped out and grabbed
the line as she fell and I couldn't look as she climbed up and swung back
inside.

 I
told her, "Please don't do that again." I asked Lieutenant Reed to
load four mortars and I used them to destroy the device once we moved away from
it.

With
no other obstacles, we dropped the soldiers at the large cave mouth. The rest
of us were dropped off at the small one. I made sure we had the Very pistol
before telling the pilots to get to a safe height and wait for a signal. If we
didn't signal, they should pick us up the next morning with breakfast ready. I
don't know why no-one laughs at my jokes.

The
sailors insisted on going first. I was going to say that Bradan and I should go
first to spot jeebees, but if he could sense them at the front of our small
group, he could sense them at the rear too.

It
was pretty easy going. Bradan would sense a few and the sailors would advance
quietly and shoot them with the rifles they had picked up. Gwen would make sure
they were dead by stepping on their heads. Those heels on her boots were nasty.
She said they weren't called stiletto for nothing. Bradan indicated six jeebees
in front of us and three in a side tunnel.

I
said softly, "The sailors should continue forward, Bradan and I will check
the side tunnel, and Gwen should remain here so we don't get lost."

Gwen
started to protest. I smiled at her and said, "Be a good girl and I'll
treat you to sweets later."

This
tunnel was not naturally formed. Its walls and floor were smooth and rounded at
the top. I looked to Bradan and asked, "How far away are these
three?"

200
YARDS

I
could see the blue-white light that I first saw that night years ago far down
the tunnel. We were about halfway to them when the tunnel lit up as bright as
outside. When my eyes adjusted, I could see three jeebees working some
strange-looking device with massive coils of wire arranged to intersect each
other in all directions. I shot at them with my rifle, but the bullets impacted
on some kind of clear shield placed between us.

Suddenly,
I felt dizzy. Not the normal kind that I've grown accustomed to lately. It was
like I was looking straight down into a grey bottomless pit with nothing to
hold onto. All I could hear was a buzzing noise. I felt like I was spinning in
all directions, but not falling into the pit. I was getting nauseous. Suddenly,
I felt okay again.

Bradan
had placed himself between me and the jeebees. Whatever weapon they had, he was
big enough to completely block it. He turned around in place so I could see his
display. Then his legs went out straight and he fell to the ground.

YOU
MUST RUN AWAY

"I
won't leave without you."

I
MUST REMAIN HERE

"But
why?"

ALL
HERE WILL DIE

I
smelled something burning. Normally Bradan just smells of grease. Then I
noticed spots were turning bright orange on his underbelly.

"There
must be something I can do."

YOU
MUST SURVIVE

"You
are my best friend. I will always remember you."

GOODBYE
MY FRIEND

 I
ran away from him as fast as I could, but didn't get far. It wasn't a loud
explosion by itself, but the tunnel echoed it mercilessly. I felt pieces of
metal cutting into my back as I was forced to the ground by the shock wave.

I
sat up and mourned the loss of a friend. I couldn't bear to watch him burn up.
Without him, I was lost. I couldn't stop crying. I had no idea how much I
really cared about him. I had pets when I was younger who hadn't made me feel
this sad when they died. It was a fact of life that animals die. Bradan should
have been with me for the rest of my life.

Gwen
ran up with her helmet on. I could barely hear her. "We need to get out of
here. This area is seriously radioactive."

I
looked up at her, speechless. She must have realised I was in shock as she
lifted me up and helped me back the way she had come. When we rejoined the
sailors, she removed her helmet and asked, "What happened back there? We
all felt dizzy and then there was an explosion."

"They
had a new weapon and it killed him."

"I'm
sorry. If I had only known..."

"You
couldn't have stopped it. He died to save us."

"We
must hurry. We are running out of time."

"I
don't think I can go on. My back feels like it has been sliced into thin
strips."

"I
won't say that it looks okay, but you aren't mortally wounded. You need to have
the metal fragments removed before you get radiation poisoning though."

"That's
twice you mentioned radiation. What is it?"