Fight For My Heart (13 page)

The silence stretches for a good minute and I look to my dashboard to see if maybe the call was dropped, then.. “Hmm, well I have to go. Love you sweet pea, bye.” Click.

Well that was weird. I don’t have long to mule over that because I pull into the parking lot of the OBGYN and see Vin leaning against his car talking on the phone. I pull into the spot next to him and he walks over to help me out of my SUV, taking my hand he continues to listen to whoever is talking to him.

“Yeah, just get the paperwork started so I can be done with this bull shit. I have more important things to handle right now. Tell her she can have that fucking condo! I’m moving my shit out and I don’t want any part of it anyways. You would think since it’s in my name it would be mine, but the bitch just has to fight me on everything. I don’t know how I ended up in this mess.” He heatedly says back to the receiver. We stop walking when we get to the door and Vin puts his finger up telling me to wait.

He seems to be in a bad mood and I don’t want to go inside with him acting like that so I start making silly faces at him. He’s obviously trying to listen to the reply on the phone, but starts smiling at me and shaking his head. Then whoever is on the other side of the line must have said something to mess with my progress because his face starts to scrunch up in anger again.

“That bitch! She better have a damn good reason why she’s doing that because shit is about to hit the fan when I get a hold of her.” He yells back. Oh this is going downhill, ugh, what to do? Fuck it, go big or go home, pun intended
.
I start dancing for him doing stupid old moves like the running man and funky chicken. This seems to do the trick because he has to put the phone down to stop
them
from hearing him laugh old loudly at me. “Sorry sorry, ok I have to go. My princess needs to be looked at. We’ll talk later.” He hangs the phone up and pulls me into a hug kissing my forehead. “You are crazy! Come on.” He grabs my hand and opens the door to the doctor’s office.

By the time Vin and I left the doctor’s appointment, he looked like nothing could ever bring him down. It was nice to see him be so openly happy about having a daughter. One would never expect the Vincent Santiago to be the happy expecting father that was shown all over his face. When we were in the doctor’s office it felt right having him there, and really made me question myself on why I ever told him no.

“Baby, she’s perfect! I’m so happy you chose the 3D sonogram. Damn my girl is going to gorgeous.” He seems so excited, and while he was happy, I couldn’t stop my mind from wondering and going over every other appointment from the past few months’.

It seems I only got more pissed off. Maybe it was my hormones, but he should have been here! For everything! Not just this time. Not because he got his shit together, not because we have known each other forever without even noticing it. He should have wanted to be here instead of asking his father to show him pictures and then coming to me when I was 6 months pregnant. This was all too much for me. I needed to get away without hurting him.

I gave him a weak smile. “Hey I know we said we would go to dinner later, but I have to study and I don’t really want any distractions.” I told him. I didn’t say it harshly, but with conviction; that probably made him stop admiring the picture and finally look at me.

“Taleah. Did I do something wrong in there? I know might have asked too many questions. But, that was only because I haven’t been to this with you before, and this
IS
my first baby. I didn’t know what to expect.” He states looking a bit distressed from my statement.

“No worries, I know this is new to you. You didn’t do anything wrong.

I just have to study.” I tell him. Giving him a quick kiss on the lips, I turn and try to get into my SUV, not too fast but fast enough that doesn’t hide my determination to get away from him right now.

“Taleah!” Vin shouts behind me. I lower my head and take a deep breath before I turn to give him a warm smile. It really isn’t hard. I really do love him and want him in our lives. I just need to get over the past first before I take what we have right now into consideration. I gave him my virginity after three weeks of knowing him, because I felt like I knew him. What did he do? He barely gave me his attention back. Regardless of him not really wanting to be with Carmen; she’s fucking beautiful and looks like sin. I know he didn’t want to marry her, but he didn’t automatically want me either.

“Ok, I have to grab some things from my condo before I come to your place anyways. Please stay up until I get there baby.” Vin kisses my nose and helps me into my Escalade before taking off himself.

Everything he says feels so good and in my head they seem to be honest. I just need to think.

XoXoXoXoXo

I hear movement coming from the bathroom, I turn my head and see Vin stepping out of the bathroom with steam coming from the inside. I look at the clock and notice the time says 8:43 p.m. “Vin?” I whisper. “Hey, sorry you looked tired so I didn’t want to wake you.” He goes to the dresser and drops his towel before sliding into some of his Calvin Klein boxers. I shift a little to try and get more comfortable so I can go back to sleep.

“Its ok. Sorry I fell asleep.” I yawn and snuggle deeper into the pillow. Suddenly I am being turned around and put into the crook of Vin’s muscular arm. “Night”.

“Hold on a sec we need to talk really quick babe.” I look at him in the dim light coming from the window and notice he has a guarded expression on his face.

“What’s wrong?” I ask him cautiously.

“Baby, come on. I know something was wrong earlier. I just didn’t want an audience. Please tell me what’s wrong.” Vincent is basically pleading. He has never sounded this out before. I don’t want to think of everything earlier though. This is only me, him, and gummy bear in the equation, so
I need to keep it there
.

I sigh and dig into his embrace. I don’t want to lose him, never have. When he asks me these questions, it makes me want to throw up. I may not be completely in love with him. But my young heart still holds his and that’s enough for now.

“I was mad at you before, because I feel like you should have always been here. Even if we didn’t know each other that well or weren’t a couple. I’m not a slut who just gives it up to the first sexy as hell guy, so me having sex with you meant something to me. So when I found out I was pregnant and went to tell you; god you have no I damn clue about how I felt walking into that little fuck scene you and Carmen had going on!” I feel my eyes well with tears, but suck them back because this is not the time for them. I need to be strong right now.

“And, after I let you know the ‘good news’.” I use air quotes on those two words. “You didn’t try to be a part of this” I point to my stomach and look into his eyes. “You had my number and never ever asked how we were.” My voice is a very unattractive pitch now.

I must have been really loud because just then, Tony, Ant, and Cadence come flying into the room. Tony looks at me then at Vin and takes his place beside me.

“Haven’t you done enough man?” Tony’s voice cracks while he buries his face into my neck and I sob into him while he rubs his hand up and down my back, trying to comfort me the only way my twin brother can. Vin looks a little defeated, but makes no move to try to comfort me right now. When he should in all actuality be the one I’m holding on to. Until he realizes this I will just hold onto the one man who has always been here for me.

“Fuck, I’m trying Te, come on. You think it was easy staying away?” He shouts. Everyone in the room stops and stares at him with shocked expressions on their faces. I know he just about dried up my tears with his tone of voice. “What would you have me do differently? Huh? You ran out of the restaurant before I could talk to you, the next time I saw you we argued and you ran out of the gym, I came to the last appointment and you said I couldn’t even go in where
you
found out the sex of
our
daughter, then afterwards you ran a
fucking
-gain when the slut come on to me at the store. Oh wait that’s not all, I came here so many times and helped decorate the nursery and you either left or stayed in your room. So,
please
tell me when I ever had a chance?” He went from being pissed to just sounding exasperated by the time he was done talking. Now everyone is looking at me.

Everything he says is true, and I have played a role in everything as well. But, he made his decisions in every argument we had and was ultimately the reason for me not wanting him around. Why can’t he understand that? Why did I even have to feel this way after we just started getting along and trying to start fresh? As much as my internal dialogue is hurting me everyone is still waiting on me for some type of response.

“Can y’all give us a minute, please?” I ask everyone.

“No, no more minutes. Last time we did that I woke up being fondled in your bed.” Cadence places her hands on her hips giving me a stern look.

“What are you talking about?” Ant asks, looking pissed. I forgot he was there for a minute.

“Wrong bed, wrong time, type of thing, I’ll explain later.” She answers back. He looks like he wants to say more, but regarding the room and the state everyone’s mood, he chooses to stay quiet.
“Fine stay if you must, but don’t say anything, I don’t need anyone putting their two cents into our relationship.” I’m being completely serious right now, this isn’t a game of twenty questions or an open discussion for the others involved.

“Vin, look I know I may not have handled every situation very well, and I also know that this is our chance to start over, but there are hurt feelings still involved in our situation. We haven’t discussed everything and to be honest I really don’t want to. I thought I was moving on from what happened; I just didn’t expect to feel the way I did today. I’m sorry for reacting the way I did, but do not put the blame on me. I didn’t tell you to say fucked up shit to me, or to sleep around because I wasn’t talking to you. My actions were
re
actions, to everything you had done.” My anger is almost gone and my hormones are settling down. Tony still has his arms around me and is rubbing my back.

“Te, I know I’m not supposed to say anything, but you have to let go, I know it wasn’t that long ago that you felt hurt, but in order to be with Vin you have to try and move on. I know you don’t want to feel stupid or weak and no one will think you are. You’re pregnant so everything you feel is coming out ten-fold right now. Just listen to him and try to look at everything from his side, too. It sounds like you did run away every time, and that’s not like you at all. You fight me, dad, Dom, hell everybody and never back down. But time and again I have seen you just give up. Right now you need to remember you don’t take anyone’s shit and stop worrying over things you cannot ever change.” Tony speaks the truth about everything he’s saying. I wish I could be mad at him, but he’s right. Damn it. I hate when he does this. I roll my eyes at him and look at Vin.

“Guys, seriously get the hell out so I can talk to my man.” I smile weakly and hope they listen this time.

Tony gets up kisses my forehead and walks out the door behind Cadence and Ant who seem to be discussing her bed time party she had with us. Good luck with that one.

“Baby, come here.” Vin reaches out and grabs my waist, lifting me off my feet to straddle his waist as he lays on the bed against headboard. “You need to talk to me instead of holding that shit in. today was unacceptable, and before you say something, let me make myself clear for the last fucking time. I’m not going to repeat it after this. I’m sorry for all the hurt I have caused you. I can only make myself better from here on out. No more girls, no more saying fucked up shit to you, no more lies and avoiding everything. We are together and you need to understand that this is where I want to be. Now stop with the tears and the bitching, woman.” He smacks my ass playfully to try and lighten the mood.

“You’re right I will talk to you next time and you were right about everything you said before. Sorry about earlier and tonight, it’s the hormones making me a mess. I’ll try harder too.” I lay my head against his chest and just breathe him in. This is harder than I thought. I never really fought with Dom when we were together. We would fight like kids do and never over anything as serious as Vin and our (current)problems. But I’m not that high school girl anymore, hell I’m not even the same freshman that got to her dorm or went the fight that night. No, I’m an adult now and I’m about to be a mother of a baby girl and the girlfriend of a top rating fighter. My whole life changed in such a short time and now I have to act like the woman I am.

XoXoXoXoXo

“
Hey, my dad will be here today. He wants to go out to dinner after the game. I told him you might be going, too.” I tell Vin as I watch him move around the kitchen making a protein whatever the hell it is. Looks nasty as hell, good thing my morning sickness ended a long time ago because I guarantee I’d be hovering over the toilet right now (otherwise). I scrunch up my nose when he adds three raw eggs to the concoction. He thinks this shit is funny, too, because he keeps looking at me every time he adds another weird ingredient.

“Want some baby?” The innuendo is not hidden at all, if it weren’t for him trying to hand me the sports bottle I’d have other ideas. I push the nasty thing back at him a give him my hell no eyes.

“Reese’s! Where are you bunny?” Oh god, please one morning it would be nice to have Rico announce himself in a way that doesn’t rile Vin up. I have to smile though I can’t stay mad at him even when he pulls his shit on me. He rounds the corner from the front door and stops in his tracks with his hand over his heart. “What the hell you’re dressed today? Why would you do that to me?” He feigns hurt. I think Vin is getting the point that he doesn’t have to worry about Rico anymore, by the smile tilting his lips I think he finds this time funny.

“Oh I’m sorry Rico, my breasts were tingling from the cold air and then, oh god, I just had to let them feel some silky fabric, you know, to stimulate the nipple, I heard it’s good for breastfeeding to let them feel the pressure, you know?” I say with as much innocence as I can while grabbing my chest and rubbing the area indicated. Vin has stopped moving and is concentrating on me completely while Rico’s mouth hangs open at my display.