Fight For My Heart (10 page)

“Stop it! You don’t come to my home and start this shit. I avoid you because I don’t want to be hurt. I don’t want the constant reminder that I’m the girl whose pussy was too good to just have to taste!” He flinches when I throw his words at him.

“Taleah, I’m sorry, ok? I said that already. I didn’t mean what I said, you don’t know how much I miss you although we were never even really together. It pisses me off that you won’t come near me anymore. It took 3 fucking months to get to you the first time and then after that bitch threw my dirty laundry out there, I don’t see you again for a month! “I see you“At my own fucking fight that I didn’t know you would be at, with that piece of shit in there and his hands all over you rubbing on my daughter!” He gets louder with every sentence he speaks to the point I hear my whole house is very quiet.

“Just let me in to talk. If you say you’re not fucking him then I believe you, but baby come on we need to work this out. I miss you. I don’t know why, but I do. I haven’t touched anyone since we went shopping and I swear I haven’t even spent the night with much less seen Carmen more than a few times. We need to talk, we can’t do this anymore.” He voice is hard but gentle like he needs to get his point across.

So yet again I let him in. Who was the one who said I weren’t weak? Me. That’s who. God please don’t let me be wrong.

XoXoXoXo

“Hey guys can y’all make yourselves disappear for a while? Vin and I really need to work some stuff out. For good this time.” I tell all my friends and brother.

They all get ready and leave the house while I straighten up. Dom eyes Vin before he leaves then comes over to me. “Don’t take his shit, you didn’t take mine or Tony’s so be smart. I’m not saying not to give him a chance, just don’t be stupid.” He whispers and kisses my head.

Vin makes a growling sound and steps up behind me. “Bye.” Is all he says to Dom before Dom turns around and leaves.
When they are all gone and the dishes from breakfast are cleaned. I make my way to the couch and curl my legs under me waiting for Vin to start talking and say whatever it is he needs to say. We sit silently just watching each other for a while. I didn’t go looking for him so he needs to speak.

“After I found out we were having a daughter I thought about all the shit I was doing. The women, Carmen, hurting you. I didn’t know what my problem was. I know you meant something to me and when you said you didn’t want me around anymore, something inside me snapped. I don’t want you to hate me for my choices and I don’t want to hate you because of what I pushed you to do. I messed up and I want to start doing right by you and my baby girl. I didn’t expect to feel anything for you, but even that first time with you, the way you look at me with those caramel eyes. God, you’re so beautiful and you see me for me Vinny your friend. Not this pro fighter that makes money. I did pursue you and I wanted you, but once wasn’t enough.

“I tried to make myself forget about that first time, even all those phone calls and texts between us; I just had to try and move on and get over me and you, because I know what my life is like, and you’re the type of girl who doesn’t deserve my life’s drama. But, obviously you caught me trying, and then afterwards when you said you were pregnant. I started thinking, she could really be the one, but then we got here and I started freaking out because fuck I didn’t know you anymore. We haven’t spoken in over 10 years, but all these memories kept flooding back into my head
,
I remember so many times when we were just kids, that I would run home and tell my dad I would marry you one day, he thought I was joking but to a kid I took it seriously.” I take in everything he’s saying even though it’s hard to revisit the past and the little boy I used to know.
“Then I fucked up again with Carmen after you caught me and her, when you came to tell me about the baby” I feel a tear slip out my eye after that one sentence. I’m really struggling to listen to him now. “Then again when you came to the gym to see me. I knew exactly what you were thinking because your cheeks had that adorable flush in them. I didn’t mean to just fuck and forget you, that wasn’t what I had in mind, but you were there and I had wanted to be alone with my thoughts. You came in and I was already thinking about you so I took my opportunity to do it because I thought you hated me but I didn’t want the first time to be the last time. When we fought with Carmen later I fucking wanted to kill her, but I turned all that anger on you instead, and for that you cannot begin to understand how sorry I am. I was an ass hole when I said those things, and you didn’t deserve that shit at all. Then three months go by, after you walked out, and all I could do was wait for my dad to call me about how you were and your doctor visits, I would make him come straight to my condo afterwards to let me see the baby. I wanted to be the one to hold you and comfort you when you needed something at 3AM not my father or your brother or your roommate’s boyfriend. This whole time it should have been me. Then last night, when Dom was touching my baby girl, I lost it. I ran to the dressing room and told Carmen to go fuck herself; that it was you who I wanted. We fought and I stayed at a hotel, I told her to get the fuck out of my condo by this weekend and then that’s it.” He paused looking for something from me, but I sat stunned.

“Te, I don’t know if we will work out, but I’m done messing up this right here.” He touched our growing baby. “She brought us something that is real, she brought us together again, and I don’t want to miss anything else.” He waited for me again, but all I could do was smile and let my tears fall. I lunged into his arms and hugged him.
Hugged him for me, for him, for his truth, and for our baby girl. I could try to deny what I felt for him and say no. I could tell him to leave right now. But, then what? I might miss out on something really good, and that is not something that I want to regret. With my decision made I close my eyes and take a deep breath and pray that I’m not wrong.

Waking up I feel a warm body pressed against mine. I’m all wrapped up in arms and legs, and let’s just say that the bump isn’t comfortable at the moment. I want to move around, but I know that if I do I’ll have to see that I’m definitely not alone anymore and Vin is still with me. Oh well, might as well rip the Band-Aid off and face my future head on. I slowly move his arm off me and rotate so that we’re facing each other. When I am fully facing his way I take a moment to look at him. Full lips, perfect eye brows, strong jaw line, long eye lashes, and a sloped nose that has been broken more than a few times, yet utterly perfect in its own way. I cannot believe this is my daughter’s father or the fact that we’re giving this a chance. Did I make a mistake in taking a chance in us? Is this all too soon?

“Stop” My eyes snap to his and those beautiful hazel eyes are staring back at me with determination.

“Stop what?” I whisper.

“Stop thinking about giving us a try, because you already said yes last night, so just trust me to do right by you. Everything about us has been quick from the beginning; from us meeting, to you getting pregnant, to right now. Just enjoy that we’re together and that this is where I want to be. The three of us will be fine.” He reaches out and rests his palm on my stomach.

“How do you know for sure that this is what you want? I don’t want you to wake up next week thinking you shouldn’t be here. I can’t think about what you’re doing if you’re not around. I don’t want that type of relationship with anyone. This isn’t about me and you, Vin, our daughter deserves something stable, and not you skipping out on us when you realize you don’t want to be here.” I try to explain so he understands, but also trying to let him know my insecurities when it comes to this.

“I can tell you right now, that I’m not going anywhere. I hear what you’re saying and I get where you’re coming from, seeing as I didn’t stand up for you when I should have. There’s a lot that happened that I wish it hadn’t, but if you want to give us a real chance you have to let that go. I’m not saying forget it, but you have to forgive me for the shit I did and let me show you that now I’m ready for this. There’s nowhere else I want to be and I hope you understand how much our baby means to me. She’ll never have to worry about me not being there regardless if we make it or not.” I see the truth in his eyes as he speaks all of these words. I feel better, lighter, and hopeful for once, that maybe things will be good now.

“Ok, this is a bit heavy for the first thing to talk about when we wake up. I haven’t fed the nugget yet. So, let’s just say we will try.” I smile up at him. Those freaking eyes light up at me like I’m the best thing in the world since I’m letting this conversation drop, but also giving him the “we’ll try” go ahead in our relationship. I promise myself that I’ll try to forget about the hurt that he caused and pretend that this is the beginning, not six months ago.

“Alright, you get up and get dressed and I’ll take my girls to get something to eat, then I gotta go by my condo to see if Carmen got her shit out of there, but I want you to come with me.” I make a face at her name, but before I reply he starts talking again. “I know that face was for her, but I want you to come with me because I want you to redecorate my bedroom so you’re more comfortable there whenever you come over, and I need to show you the space want to use for our angel.”
“Ok, that’s fine, but what if she’s there? What if she sees me and tries to start shit? Wait; let me go to my safe really quick.” I start off that way, but Vin reaches out and scoops me up before depositing me in the bathroom. I squeal and try to get out of his arms, but shit they’re like metal bars or something.

“Oh, no you don’t baby gangster, no safe, no guns, no fighting. If she starts shit, I’m right there to handle her ass. No one will ever touch you when I’m around. Now, go do your thing so we can feed my baby girl. Go!” With that he closes the door and leaves me to it. I stand there for a minute wondering who told him about my safe. Hmm…I shall have to change the location now. Oh well.

After eating breakfast, Vin drives us over to his house in my Escalade, since (I forgot) he ran to my house yesterday. But, I didn’t mind him being behind the wheel at all. Our conversation while we were eating flowed and there wasn’t any kind of awkward silence that was forced to be filled. He told me about his training, his schedule, and what he wanted me to look at when we got to his condo. I told him about school and what has been going on at the doctor’s appointments. He seemed to have a million questions about everything he thinks he missed. I started to feel really bad about not letting him be there, but quickly threw that thought out of my head and focused on the here and now.

We pull into his underground garage and then take the elevator up to his floor. I feel sick all of a sudden and not the throw-up-type; no I feel sick because my gut tells me that the evil queen of bitches will be here. And no sooner than that, the doors open to find Carmen standing by the breakfast bar reading on her laptop with a cup of coffee. This happens to be funny to me for some reason, because a giggle escapes my mouth before I have a chance to stop it.
Vin looks at me like I’ve lost my mind and maybe I have.

But what made the situation even more hilarious was the fact that Rico just walked up behind Carmen and is now nibbling on her neck. I assume that Vin and I probably have the same shocked expressions on our faces because Rico and Carmen are clueless to our arrival. But, when I look up at Vin, he winks at me and throws his arm around my shoulder and mouths “
shh
”.

“Wow, I missed you this morning when I woke up” Carmen purrs to Rico and just loud enough for us to hear.

“Really? You seemed satisfied to me. Tell me. Did I help mending that broken heart?” Rico says back. Wow, umm I don’t know if I should gag or let them know we’re standing right here.

“Broken heart? Umm no. I actually remember telling you that I always win and that I will have Vin back before lets’ see” she glances at her watch on her wrist “this evening time.” An evil cackle leaves her mouth. She sounded so fucking scary that I actually worried about what she had in mind

“And how are you planning to get him back Carmen? You did just fuck me in his own bed not even two hours ago.” Rico seems naturally inquisitive to where she’s going with this idea of hers.

“You my sexy man, Vin needs me for his contract to stay valid and that slut he’s “supposedly” - that bitch did not just air quote my baby like it’s nonexistent - “having a baby with is going to have to go. I do not lose and Vin is mine. He thinks he can keep postponing the inevitable and get out of our engagement? Fuck that! I will fuck you and whomever I want because that’s what me and Vin do, we don’t settle, we compromise. And, he will compromise to give me what I want. Or I’ll ruin that little whore he’s trying to run off into the fucking sunset with.” She sneers the last part and I’m clutching my bag trying to dig around inside of it.

Vin grabs the bag shaking with silent laughter because he knows what I’m looking for. Damn right! He shakes his head
no
and points at my belly giving it a little rub. That automatically calms me down. “Carmen, have you considered that maybe Vin doesn’t need you anymore? That maybe he wants to move on? I know it may seem hard to understand that it’s probably time to move on, but it is.” Rico comments.

“No worries, lover; like I said we can still see each other. He’s your best friend so I know you don’t want to hurt him, but we’re fine. I can have my cake and eat it too, like Vin is.”

I’m thinking now is probably the time break up this little chat and seeing as I’m being dragged through the doorway and into the kitchen, Vin has those same thoughts as well. “Well hello there!” Vin greets happily. “And what do we have here hmm?”

Carmen screams and turns to push Rico away. “Wha…what are you doing here? You said you wouldn’t be back until later?” She looks at Vin in question.

Rico walks up to us and smiles giving Vin a high five and then turning to me with a evil grin on his face. “Well you seemed just so devastated last night, Carmen, and then after all the alcohol you consumed, it seemed only right to escort you home. I just had no idea you were going to fuck my brains out, then start talking shit about my boy here. So you see, I MAY have called Vin and let him listen to you talk, and then I MAY have told him to come over and , I MAY have even arranged a time to show up.” Rico explained while smiling at her with his reply.
“Why you asshole! I should have never let you get near me.” She shouts at them. “Now now , my dear, that’s no way to speak in front of a lady. A pregnant one at that. So please let me help you vacate the premises.” Vin grabs her arm and helps her to her feet.