Fighting Ever After (Ever After #3) (23 page)

“Look,
Annemarie,” I grabbed her wrist, stilling her hand. “Whatever you think is
going to happen between the two of us, isn’t.”

She didn’t
appear the least bit discouraged, squeezing my thigh and leaning in. “You’re
right, this is probably a bad idea here, but we could take this back to my
condo.”

I removed
her hand from my leg altogether. “I’m sorry, but I don’t just mean here. I mean
at all.”

She frowned
suspiciously and sat back. “Your mom said you were single.”

“I am.”

“Then what’s
the problem?” Her tone turned sweet again and she was biting her lip in what
was supposed to be a seductive move, but it was doing nothing for me and I
could feel a headache coming on.

“No problem,
I just don’t want to do this, and by this I mean you and me sharing anything
more than a drink.”

“Oh.
Why not?”

“If I answer
that question, you’re just going to get mad and probably call me an ass. It’d
be better if you just said goodnight and got out of here and you should stop
letting your parents play matchmaker. You’ll end up with an asshole like me.”

“Whatever,”
she stood, grabbing her purse. “This wasn’t my parents’ idea. I wanted to meet
you. I can see how that was a mistake now.”

“Look, I’m
sorry this night didn’t go how you wanted. I’m just not interested in getting
involved with anyone right now. I’ll walk you out.”

When I put
her in her car and said goodnight, I debated just hopping on my bike and taking
off as well, but then I’d have my mother calling my cell phone all night until
I picked up, so we might as well have it out now. They were waiting for me
expectantly when went back inside.

“Where’s
Annemarie?” My mom asked.

“On her way
home I assume, but I didn’t ask. Now I’d like to be on my way home.”

“Hold on
son,” my dad started in. “With this being an election year for me, I’m a bit
overloaded, and I need people around that I can trust.”

“Save it,” I
said. I’d heard this before. “I appreciate the offer Dad, but I’m just not
interested in working on your campaign, shadowing members of your office or
legal team or whatever other idea you’ve come up with to try and convince me I
need to go back to school. It’s not going to work. So if that’s all –”

“It most
certainly is not all. Your father and I are losing our patience with the way
you so easily seem to be able to dismiss your future. It’s time for you to grow
up and accept some responsibility.” I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “I’m not
sure what you find so amusing, but this is not a laughing matter.”

“You’re
right, it’s not. What is
though,
is that you think you
have any say in my life. You tell me I need to grow up and accept
responsibility for my life. Where the hell have you been the last four years?
I’ve been making my own decisions and supporting myself, without any assistance
from you guys. I’m not on drugs and I’m not in prison, so you should just be
thankful for that and accept that the future you want for me is not the same
one I want for myself.” Just then my father’s phone rang and, in typical Dad
fashion, he said we’d continue this discussion later because he had important
business to attend to. If I had a dollar for every time I’d heard him say that
over the years, I’d be set for life.

Mom,
however, wasn’t quite done with this conversation, even after Dad walked out of
the room. “And tell me what was so wrong with Annemarie? She’s a perfectly
lovely and respectable young lady.”

“She’s
boring, vapid and I got the impression that she is also a raging slut, but
yeah, other than that, she was lovely.” I scrubbed a hand over my face in
frustration. “Mom, I can’t do this anymore. I won’t come if you insist on
trying to set me up. The reason I’m not in a relationship is because I don’t
want to be.”

“I just
don’t understand why you have to be so difficult all the time,” she cried in
frustration.

“I wouldn’t
expect you to, Mom.” If she understood me even a fraction, our relationship
would be very different, but she’d never really bothered to try. “Dinner was
great as always. Tell Dad I said goodnight and I’ll talk to you later this
week, I’m sure.”

Every time I
left my parents’ house, it was with bitter disappointment. I’d grown used to it
over the years, and four years ago I’d stopped trying to do anything about it,
stopped trying to earn their respect and love, but it didn’t make it suck any
less.

This show
could be it for us. There were rumors that some big shots from a major label
were coming to check out a few of the bands. We’d been talking to a couple
smaller bands, trying to organize a tour and book shows up and down the coast,
but if we got on with a label that could be just the break we needed. I was
already more pumped than usual for this show. I could say it was because it
would be one of the biggest shows we’d played yet. I could say it was because
we were in the lineup with some really incredible bands and artists. Or I could
be honest and admit that I hadn’t seen Jaxyn in a week and she was driving out
to Springfield with Bas,
Vi
and Jake tonight to watch
us and I was looking forward to seeing her.

We’d texted
a few times this week when I congratulated her on the new job and to ask her
how it was going. We were actually navigating this
friends
thing pretty well and it felt good.

“Man, this
place is filling up. Do you see some of those girls? Damn, tonight is going to
be fun!” Spade was looking out over the huge converted warehouse that was
becoming more packed by the hour. We would be fifth out of the six bands and
artists lined up for the night. We were set to go on at ten, and it was just
eight now. The first guy was getting ready to take the stage with just his
acoustic guitar and a crazy, jerry-rigged foot pedal kick drum and tambourine.

When he
started playing, it had an
Avett
Brothers feel and he
did a great job of working the crowd and getting them pumped up for the night.
A brother and sister duo was the next to take the stage as the first guy, whose
name I’d read on the flyers was Landon, exited.

“That was a
great performance,” I told him, when he came through backstage. “You have an
awesome sound.”

“Thanks,
brother. You’re with one of the bands going on later tonight, aye?” I’d picked
up on his accent when he was up on stage talking to the crowd and pegged him as
Irish.

“Yeah.
Ashes and Embers.
Name’s
Ky.
” We started chatting about music, how he ended up in the
states and just telling stories from the road, while we watched the band on
stage. He’d seen and done a lot of shit; starting out when he was sixteen with
nothing but an old guitar from a dead uncle, no family ties or anything to keep
him grounded in one place, so he just started drifting from place to place,
following the music. He wasn’t in it for the money or fame, he just wanted to
see the world and make his music.

Every so
often my eyes would scan the crowd or shoot to one of the doors where people
were still streaming in and out. We had a good view of the whole place from
where we stood off to the side of the stage, but I hadn’t spotted her yet. It
was coming up on nine and I had to fight the urge to text her to find out when
she’d be here.

“Who is
she?” Landon asked.

“Huh?”

“The bit ye
keep looking for out there.”

“Just a friend.”
I shoved my hands in my pocket and glanced
backstage.

“
Yer
full of
shite
, mate,” he
laughed.

“Whatever man,
she is, just a friend. A group of our friends is coming out tonight. I was just
watching out for them.”

“Aye, right,
whatever ye say.
Ye’ll
have to introduce me to this
friend.” He grinned.

“Not likely,
mate.
”

“
S’what
I thought. So tell me, if this girl is just ye
friend, who’s that?” He nodded behind me, and not surprisingly, when I looked,
Kaylie was watching the two of us. She was here to play tonight as well and I’d
mostly been avoiding her. I hadn’t answered a call or text from her in almost
two weeks. She started heading our way. “Looks a wee dangerous, that one.”

“You could
say that,” I sighed.

“Good luck,
mate.” He slapped the back of my shoulder and then left me to deal with single
white female. She stopped in front of me, her expression cold.

“Kaylie.”

“So, that’s
it. After a year, this is what we are now. You just blow me off, stop answering
my calls and now we’re basically strangers?”

“I don’t
know what you want from me Kaylie,” I told her. “I feel like we’ve had this
conversation before, and I told you I’m tired of this. You’re not my girlfriend
and you never were.”

“Oh fuck
you, Ky.
Give
it a rest. I don’t want to be your damn
girlfriend. If I wanted a relationship, I could do a lot better than an
emotionally unavailable, commitment phobic asshole, but our arrangement was
good. You know it was, and you’re only kidding yourself if you think that
little girl can give you what you need. She’s not your type and you’re not
hers.”

“She’s just
a friend, Kaylie, and you’re a bitch.”

“But I can
be a better friend,” she purred suggestively.

“I don’t
know.” Everything in me was screaming to walk, or run away, that I should just
stay away from Kaylie. She had a point though, our arrangement had been good.
It worked for a long time and maybe things should just go back to how they
were. “I’ll talk to you later, but it looks like it’s about time for you to
take the stage.”

“Yeah, it
is.” She pushed up on her toes and leaned in to press a kiss to my cheek.
“Later then.”
There was a little more sway in her hips when
she walked away and joined the rest of her band. She should have ‘trouble’
stamped on the back of her mini skirt.

“What the
hell are you doing? I thought you were over that.” Ace was standing in the spot
she’d vacated.

“Don’t worry
about it.”

“Okay,
whatever, just wanted to let you know Jaxyn and the rest of them are here.
Chris just went to let them all in through the back.” He waited for me to say
something, but I didn’t have anything to say, just like I had no reason to feel
guilty, even if he thought I did. Still, the anticipation of seeing her that
I’d been feeling all night had soured and instead of waiting to say hi when she
came in, I walked further backstage.

It wasn’t
until we took the stage later that I finally laid eyes on her. She looked sexy
as hell moving those hips to the music in her skin tight jeans and the badass
leather jacket she always wore. Something about seeing her move like that to my
music did something to me that, as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t ignore. Is
this what I was in store for from now on? Thinking about her every second I
wasn’t with her and wanting her like crazy when I was. Feeling like I’m
betraying her for even thinking about being with another girl even though I
don’t owe her anything, and not being able to say a word to her because it
wouldn’t do a damn bit of good.

Jealousy hit
me when I watched her drag Bas over to the dance floor. I wanted it to be my
hands that were on her hips, feeling her move with the rhythm of the music. I would
have given just about anything to trade places with him and be the one she was
smiling up at and laughing with. It didn’t even matter that I knew the only
thing between them was years of friendship. He got to be close to her in a way
that I didn’t.

I couldn’t
even remember the last time I’d felt such deep jealousy. Music had always been
enough for me, but tonight, for the first time, it wasn’t enough. Not when I
was staring at more, knowing I couldn’t have it. I couldn’t take my eyes off
her. She was completely unaware that she had captivated me. She looked so free
and completely in the moment, like she was lost in the music and nothing could
touch her. Music always did that for me too, but tonight it was her I was
getting lost in.

After the
final note of the last song in our set was played, I couldn’t get off that
stage fast enough. People were screaming and going nuts for us, shouting for
more, and it felt good. It was always a rush to hear the audience go crazy for
our music, and maybe on a different night we would have given them one more,
but tonight I signaled the guys that we were finished. I was buzzing and there
was one person I wanted to see and share this excitement with.

 I had
my guitar off the stage and packed up in record time and helped Chris get his
drum kit hauled outside and loaded up. On the way back in I bumped into Landon
in the hall.

“I’m off for
the night, but that was a right fantastic set you guys played in there.” He
stuck out his hand.

“Thanks
man,” I said taking his hand.

“I’m sure
we’ll bump into each other on the road again. Take care.”

“You too.”

A few other
people stopped me to say they enjoyed the performance and by the time I made
back in there, Scene Not Heard, the final band of the night was on stage and I
didn’t see Jax. It was hard to see through the crowd when I wasn’t up on stage
looking down at them all. I shoved my way through and found
Vi
,
Jake and Bas still on the dance floor, but Jax was MIA. Bas noticed me and must
have known who I was searching for because he nodded his head toward the bar in
the back, and sure enough when I looked, she was standing on her toes trying to
wave down a bartender. I pushed my way up behind her and squeezed her
shoulders. She flipped around and when she saw me, before I could get one word
out of my mouth, she jumped up and wrapped her arms around me.

I laughed
and wound my arms around her waist. I hadn’t been expecting that, but I
couldn’t say I minded in the least. In fact, she could greet me like this every
time and that would be okay with me. “You guys were amazing. I’m so proud of
you,” she shouted to be heard over the noise.

“Thanks
Princess.” I watched the bartender in front of me set down
a
bottled
water on the bar and gesture that it was
Jax’s
.
I wasn’t ready to release her yet, but I let go of her with one hand and
reached out to grab the water. It was icy and damp with condensation. I slid it
up the back of her shirt and pressed it against her skin. She squealed and slid
back down to her feet. I laughed and handed her the water. She must have been
thirsty because she downed most of the bottle in one gulp and finished it on
the second. Well now that she was hydrated, “Dance with me?” I asked, holding
out my hand. She smiled and nodded. Her hand was soft and so small in mine as I
led her over to the others. I tugged her in close and rested my hands on the
hips that had been enticing me all night. I wanted to do a lot more than that.
I wanted to do a hell of a lot more than that, but I left my hands where they
were and focused on the beat, letting our bodies move together. The few times
she chanced a look up at me, her eyes gave away everything, and I knew I wasn’t
the only one feeling this, but I hoped I was doing a better job of hiding it.
We couldn’t afford to blur lines, and from where I was standing, shit was
looking pretty damn blurry. Still, I could have danced with her all night, and
I would have, except that Kaylie cut in.

I wanted to
refuse, to stay right where I was, but we both needed the reminder of how
things had to be. So even though it was an asshole way to do it, I leaned in
and gave her a quick hug and then took Kaylie’s hand, and I did it just to make
a point, to her and myself. The disappointment on
Jax’s
face was the same disappointment I felt in my gut when I let Kaylie press into
me. Every move Kaylie made was sensual and provocative, and I let my hands run
up and down her body, forcing myself not to look at Jax while I did it. It
wasn’t fair that the girl I wanted to touch was untouchable, and this one here,
well I could do whatever I wanted to her, but had no desire to.

I made the
mistake of glancing over at Jax, and immediately wished I hadn’t. She was just
standing there watching the two of us like it was a bad scene in some movie she
wished she could fast forward through. I ignored it and flipped Kaylie around
in my arms so that her ass was pressed into my front. Her hands came up around
my neck and I let mine wander across her stomach and over every curve of her.
Even if my head wasn’t into it, my body sure as hell was, like it remembered
the way Kaylie and I had connected so many times and wanted to revisit those
times.

When the
band was finished and the show was over, she turned again and pushed up on her toes
to whisper in my ear, “We should go find somewhere a little more private.”

Involuntarily
my eyes darted toward Jax again, but she was gone. It was probably better that
way, because this had to stop. If she found out I went off with Kaylie, it
would hurt her a little, but by not doing it, I would just be dragging out this
mess. Giving her the wrong idea, letting either one of us hang on to the
possibility that by some miracle it could work out, would hurt her more. I was
going to be with other girls, just like eventually she would have a guy in her
life. We both had to accept it. I also needed to prove to myself that I could
be with another girl.

“Okay. Let’s
go.”

She smiled
and I followed her toward the door that led out into the hall of this huge
building. I was sure it wouldn’t be hard to find an empty storage room or
unoccupied office or bathroom. Halfway there we were stopped though.