Figure Eight (Celtic Knot Book 2) (8 page)

“How does it feel, Ashley? How does it feel to be the one fucked, now?” I said with a sardonic smile before walking out, slamming the door behind me.

I stared at the closed door through the tears that swam in my eyes.

What the fuck just happened
?

If it weren’t for the humming of my body after coming down from an intense orgasm, I wouldn’t believe what just occurred. Even though Dominic’s words sliced through me like a sharp blade cutting through the fabric of my soul, I knew he was angry and just taking his frustrations out on me. How could I blame him? I knew he was hurt, and what I did had to completely have ripped him apart.

I fought desperately not to let the tears fall. I felt used and cheap, but the funny thing was, I
wanted
to feel that way. I wanted to know that even if it meant that I was completely obliterated, Dominic somehow got some sort of satisfaction out of what happened. If it would make him feel better about how I had betrayed him, then I would allow him to use me over and over again. I would welcome this pain, knowing that it cannot be half as bad as how Dominic must be feeling. I deserved this.

Hugging the pillow closer to my chest, I closed my eyes to try and relish in the opportunity of being able to have him inside of me again. Even though it was out of anger and spite, the fact that he couldn’t control himself proved to me that he still had some sort of feelings for me. I could only hope that those feelings were love and not hate. I didn’t think I could bear it if Dominic were to hate me. My only hope was that I could get out from underneath Asher’s blackmail and right all the wrong, anguish and pain I had caused to the ones I love.

I was broken from my pitiful bout of self-destruction by the sound of my phone beeping. It could only be two people left who would text me, seeing as I couldn’t expect one from the man who just walked out my door. My legs trembled as I rose from the couch to retrieve my phone from my purse. The sticky evidence of Dominic’s presence on my body caused friction between my thighs with each step that I took. The memory of his hands as he spread his cum all over me after he erupted inside of me felt like a claim of possession and the thought alone gave me the faintest bit of hope that he still wanted me.

I slid my fingers across the screen of my phone to bring up my waiting text message. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach at the words on the screen.

Asher: What the fuck was Dominic doing at your place??

If I had any doubt that he was watching me before, then the text message gave me proof. I felt nauseous knowing that he and his fucking goons, Drake and Officer Russell, were watching me. Asher alone made me want to punch something hard, but I was even angrier at the thought of Drake and Russell being involved. Drake was supposed to be Dominic and Knox’s friend, but instead, he had chosen money over loyalty, and Russell was a fucking officer of the law for Christ sake.

I angrily punched the screen to type out a reply. I knew if I didn’t the repercussions would not be good.

Me: He showed up out of the blue. What was I supposed to do?

Asher: You better hope you kept your trap shut.

Me: I did, don’t worry.

He didn’t say anything else after my reply, and I was thankful. I threw my phone down on the desk and went to take a shower. Peeling my ripped shorts and panties off of my body and tossed them aside to discard later. After lifting my cami over my head, I turned to face myself in the mirror and that is when I saw the marks on my skin. Angry red spots in the shape of fingerprints were branded onto my hip bones serving as a reminder of Dominic’s visit. I traced each spot in an attempt to feel closer to him just from the touch of the imprint. Tears stung in my eyes and I swiped at them before they could fall.

I have to find a way out of this.

Stepping into the shower, I welcomed the sting of the hot water as it trickled down from the showerhead. At the same time, I was saddened by the fact that I was now washing Dominic’s scent off of me. I wanted to still smell the aroma of him upon my skin; I wanted to still feel like he was close to me, but I couldn’t go to my art class smelling like sex.

As I washed my hair, I also started thinking about how I was going to find employment. With the club being closed down pending the court hearing, I no longer had an income. I doubt that Dominic or Knox would let me back anyways. I had made some great money working at the club in the short time I was there, but I did spend a large chunk of it on my tuition for classes, so I needed to find a way to support myself. With Kelly not really speaking to me, Lord knew how long I would be welcome in her home.

I turned off the taps and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around myself. Padding to my room, I paused when I noticed an envelope on the bed addressed to me. I turned around to peek out of my bedroom door to see if Kelly might have come home, but I didn’t see her. I sat down on the bed and tentatively slid my finger through the hole to open the flap of the envelope. I was stunned when I pulled out a card from Kelly.

The tears that I had wiped away earlier before my shower, were now flowing freely down my face. With me being sick, and all of the shit going on with Dominic and Asher, I had completely forgotten about my birthday. Looking over to the calendar I had hanging on my wall above my nightstand, I confirmed that it was indeed April Twentieth, my twenty-sixth birthday. I let out a sardonic laugh. What a way to spend my fucking birthday, away from those that I love. I was grateful to Kelly for even remembering and for even reaching out to me in the first place even though she was angry. She must have come into the apartment while I was in the shower and left before I got out.

I got dressed in a pair of comfortable jeans and a navy blue racer back tank with white stripes. It looked to be a nice day out and I could always wear a cardigan over the top of my tank if it got too cold. I slipped on a pair of silver gladiator sandals and reached into the top drawer of my dresser to retrieve the necklace that I have carried around with me everywhere I have gone. The submissive training necklace had been a comfort to me, a way of carrying Dominic around with me. I was too ashamed to wear it around my neck, so I always placed it in my pocket for safe-keeping.

I left my room and made my way into the kitchen to make myself one more cup of coffee and to take the medication the doctor had prescribed to help me get over the nasty sinus infection. I was feeling better, but I wanted to make sure I took all of it so that I didn’t risk the chance of it coming back. I pulled a pony-tail holder I had on my wrist off and pulled my hair back into a low, messy bun before securing it with the band. My long hair always seemed to get in the way while I was painting, and I soon learned to keep it pulled back.

I thought about how I was going to see Rownan again today in class. I knew he would have to strip down for us again to complete our abstracts. Only, the painting I did on Monday was not Rownan but Dominic. It seemed like no matter what I did, I couldn’t get Dominic off of my mind. I was heartbroken and missing him, more than words could say. Everywhere I went, I was reminded of how much I loved him, but also reminded of the damage I had caused him. With Kelly gone, and my betrayal, I was left alone to my thoughts, which was a dangerous place to be.

I sighed as I grabbed my purse and my phone to leave for my art class. With my heart and mind heavy, I forced myself to go on vowing to try to find a way out of this predicament I was in.

Ugh.

Happy birthday to me.

How the fuck could I have gone off the deep end like that? Knox was going to fucking kill me when he found out what I had done. It was like someone had taken possession over my mind and body, and I was only existing in the moment.

Damn, I couldn’t describe how wonderful it felt to be inside of Ashley again, but I was also tormented by it. It was a curse, both heaven and hell. It was a reminder how things were, and of how things could have been. I felt like a slave to my emotions every time I was around her. Her touches, her scent, her skin—all like shots of heroin to my system and she was the only person who could provide my fix.

I walked over to the window of my apartment and rested my forehead upon the cool glass to stare out at the Chicago skyline. I went over to Ashley’s house in search of answers, and I left with only more questions than I had before. How the fuck this one woman could get to me when no one else had or could ever, I don’t know.

I was startled when I heard the front door of the apartment open and in walked Knox, Victoria, and Toby. They were chatting and didn’t notice me standing at the window in a moment of desperation to try to clear my head.

“Nic, Toby, and Vic are here so that we can start going over stuff for our defense,” Knox yelled into the room. I pushed away from the window and walked over to where my friends had gathered around the coffee table with bags of Chinese food. After pulling out enough food to feed an army, we all filled our plates and dug in.

“So, Toby, what is the game plan?” Knox asked as he chewed on his lo mein noodles. I grabbed one of the beers from the table and twisted off the top, downing the cool, flavor of hops and barley until nothing was left in the bottle but a tiny bit of foam.

“Damn, Nic, you alright?” Victoria asked as I reached for another bottle, bypassing the food on my plate in favor of the liquid memory eraser.

“Yeah, Vic, I’m perfectly fine, I just had my future and heart ripped out of my fucking chest by a woman, no big deal,” I snapped. She visibly flinched at my words, and as soon as I said them, I felt bad for my verbal outburst. It wasn’t her fault that I was in a fucking pissy mood or the fact that the one woman I fell in love with had destroyed me.