Finally (17 page)

“Sarah?” Amanda prodded.

“I want to hear him say he loves me,” she answered in a small voice.

“You know some people say ‘I love you’ but they don’t really mean it?” Ash quipped.

“You’re not really helping here, Ash,” Amanda said dryly.

“I’m just saying.”

“Have you lied to someone about your feelings before, Ash?” Sarah asked.

“I’m not saying.”

“Aha!” Amanda cried out. “You have lied about it. To whom?”

“Hey, come on. We’re not talking about me. We’re talking about Sarah wanting to hear Jeffrey Carmichael say he loves her.” Ash glanced at Sarah from the rear-view mirror. “You know the best way to prompt him to say it, Sarah?”

“What?” Sarah asked.

“Say ‘I love you’ first.”

Sarah slumped in her seat. “Not tonight. If the feeling’s not mutual, I’m not ready to get rejected the night of my birthday.”

*****

“W
ow, nice,” Ash murmured as he slowed the car to a stop at the front entrance of the hotel. A valet opened Sarah’s door and she got out gingerly, mindful of her high, high heels and short, tight dress.

“You want to change your shoes? You should do it now before they park the car away,” Ash asked in a low voice beside her.

“Uh, no. I think I’ll be all right,” she said. She did grab onto Ash’s arm to make sure she kept her balance. With her nerves zinging uncontrollably, she didn’t trust that she could walk with grace unaided.

“Hey guys!” Brenna cried from the threshold.

“Hi Bren!” they responded.

Ash’s stride got longer and Sarah found herself being dragged.

“Slow down, Ash. You’re walking too fast,” she said, clutching Ash’s arm tighter. Why the hell did she think she could carry off wearing these fashionable but utterly and ridiculously high stilettos?

“Fast? You’re walking too slow,” Ash complained.

“We’ll get there soon enough,” she retorted.

“You should have changed your shoes.”

“Happy birthday, darling!” Brenna said, meeting them halfway.

“Thanks, Bren,” Sarah said, letting go of Ash to hug her friend. “Have you enjoyed this week?”

“Yes. But it would have been more fun if you and Amanda were here.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Glad you guys are here now.”

“Hey, don’t I get a hug?” Ash said.

“Of course you do, sweetie,” Brenna said, reaching for Ash. “Haven’t seen you for a while. Where’s your girlfriend?”

“Gone.”

“Really? Why?”

“I’ll tell you later. Let me escort the birthday girl inside first,” he said, holding his arm out for Sarah again.

“Wow, Sarah. I just noticed how high and pointy those heels are. They’re killers,” Brenna said.

“Tell me about it,” Sarah muttered.

Ash snorted. “That’s what you get for wanting to impress Jeffrey Carmichael.”

“Is he here already?” Sarah asked Brenna.

“Yes, he’s here already.”

Sarah gulped and tried to look nonchalant as they made their way inside.

Ash patted her hand that was on his arm. “You’ll be fine, Sarah. Your adopted big brother’s here with all your best friends,” he whispered encouragingly.

Sarah smiled up at him and dipped her head on his shoulder gratefully. Yes, her friends were all here for her. So she should be for them as well, especially Rebecca. That meant looking happy and relaxed, even if she was as nervous as hell about seeing Jeff again.

J
eff stood stock-still by the window of a dark billiards room. He watched as an absolutely stunning Sarah clung to another man as they made their way inside the hotel.

He’d been waiting impatiently to have this chance to talk to her face to face since she hadn’t returned his calls or responded to his texts. Now she’d arrived. With a date. He couldn’t believe she’d brought a date. Did she really want to wound him?

He sank in a nearby chair, squeezing his eyes shut. How could this hurt so fucking bad?

His phone vibrated in his pocket. It was his grandmother.

“Jeffrey, where are you, dear? People are looking for you.”

“Who?”

“Well, your Grand-Aunt Miriam, your uncle, and a couple of Zach’s friends, for starters.”

He smirked. Of course, Sarah
wasn’t
looking for him.

“I’ll be out soon, Gran.”

“Is everything okay, Jeff?”

“No. I have a massive headache, but give me a minute and I’ll come out and join you guys.”

“Oh. Maybe you can ask Rebecca what you can take for it.”

He rolled his eyes. “Paracetamol’s fine, I’m sure, Gran. I have some here.”

“Sarah’s here now too, dear,” Magda said softly. “You two could have a proper talk tonight.”

He raked his hair. Of course his gran would want to make things right. Unfortunately, she couldn’t always get what she wanted. Neither could he.

“Tonight may not be a good time for that, Gran. It’s Sarah’s party too and she should be with her guests.”

Magda sighed. “Okay, dear. I’ll let you figure it out. We’ll see you out here soon.”

He hung up and took deep breaths. The best way to get through tonight—heck, the next hour—was to not feel. But what was the secret to feeling numb?

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the time to wallow in his thoughts. There was a party going on outside.

He stood up and purposefully strode out of the room, fighting the urge to cry. How fucking pathetic.

*****

J
eff walked into the bar where people were having pre-dinner drinks. His gaze swung to the left and he instantly spotted Sarah talking to Rebecca and Zach. His chest heaved. Why did she have to be like a magnet for him?

Reluctantly, he made his way toward her. It was her birthday, after all. He should at least acknowledge her.

“Sarah,” he said, his voice sounding breathless to his own ears.

Sarah turned her head, her eyes wide.

His heart hammered hard, every nerve ending hyper-aware of the woman standing before him.

“Jeff,” Sarah murmured.

“Happy birthday,” he said quietly.

“Thank you.”

The man she came with appeared, holding a beer in one hand and a glass of red in the other. Jeff wouldn’t be surprised if it was Sarah’s favourite shiraz—one of theirs. He swiftly slammed the lid on the hope that spurted in his chest from his brief eye contact with Sarah.

“Um, Jeff,” Rebecca interjected, “this is Ash, Amanda’s brother.”

Jeff forced a polite smile as he watched Sarah take the wine from her date’s hand so they could shake hands. So this man was Amanda’s brother. Even worse. Ash and Sarah must have known each other for years.

“Pleasure to meet you, Jeff,” Ash said.

“Likewise,” he said, unable to resist giving the man a much firmer handshake than normal. Hell, if he gave in to his urges, he’d crush Ash’s hand. He better get out of there before he totally lost it.

“Well, enjoy tonight, guys,” he said, then headed for the exit.

*

I
t was a rather cool, overcast night, and it looked like rain. Jeff thought about going back in and grabbing his jacket but he couldn’t be bothered. If he walked briskly enough, he should keep warm.

“Hey, Jeff!”

“Hey,” he said to Connor, who’d just arrived.

“Am I late? I came from Newcastle and I got held up by an accident.”

“No. Dinner hasn’t started yet. People are still having pre-dinner drinks at the bar.”

“Are you going somewhere?” Connor asked with a frown.

“I’m just going for a walk.”

“A walk? At this time of night? It’s going to rain soon.”

Jeff shrugged.

“Bro,” Connor said softly. “Doesn’t Sarah want to talk to you tonight?”

“Don’t know,” he said bleakly. “Haven’t asked.”

“Want some company?”

“No, thanks. I’d rather be alone. Go and join the party.”

“Okay. I’ll see you shortly,” Connor said, patting him on the shoulder.

Jeff followed a path leading to the far side of the expansive gardens. He wanted to be as far away as possible from the festivities going on inside. He’d already feigned levity too much last week during his birthday, and he couldn’t gather the necessary energy to do it again tonight.

He walked until he reached the end of the path he was on. Without a clear track to follow, it wasn’t possible for him to walk further in the dark. The night seemed to be commiserating with the darkness that his heart was wallowing in.

An itch on his left upper arm throbbed and he tapped on it, not wanting to scratch as he knew it would make it worse. It was a reminder of how hard and fast he’d fallen for Sarah. It was so unbelievably crazy he couldn’t even wrap his head around it. Before he knew it, he was so deeply in love with her. Then in just a few days, he’d lost her.

Maybe he never had her at all. Maybe for her the seed of love had never sprouted.

As for him, not only had it taken root, it had grown to a massive tree that now needed chainsaws to cut it and poison poured on the stump to stop the regrowth.

He shoved his hands in his pockets as he felt the first big drops of rain. Great. He’d be soaking wet by the time he got back inside.

*****

W
elcome warmth hit Jeff as he entered the foyer of the hotel.

“You okay, sir?” their concierge asked, clearly surprised at seeing him drenched to the bone. “Do you need anything?”

“No, thanks. I’ll head straight to my room.”

He breathed a sigh of relief as he passed by the bar without anyone else noticing him.

He was opening his door when his phone rang. Pulling it out, he was grateful the dampness of his pants didn’t seem to have affected it. He frowned at the screen, but swiped to answer the call.

“Bee, what’s up?”

“Hi Jeff. Sorry to bother you on a Saturday night but I’ve been working on something and I thought I’d discuss it with you.”

Jeff groaned silently. “Shouldn’t you be enjoying your weekend?” he asked.

“Work is enjoyable for me,” Bianca said with a chuckle. “And I think I have another brilliant idea.”

“Bee, I’ve been talking with Zach and Greg, and we think it’s a good idea for Greg to get much more involved in our marketing campaigns. Why don’t you discuss this one with him?”

“Oh. I see. Um, sure I’ll talk to Greg, if you like. But this particular topic is something you and I have already discussed before. We should only take about five minutes.”

“Take the weekend off, Bianca,” he said authoritatively. “Then on Monday, you can talk to Greg about it. I’ll tell him to expect your call.”

Bianca sounded mightily put out as she hung up, but he didn’t care. He’d already agreed with his brothers that Greg should be Bianca’s main point of contact from here on in. They just needed to make it official and tell Bianca next week.

If he were to find a way to win Sarah back, it was an important step to take—if Sarah could be won back, that was. She thought the only relationship they could ever have was a toxic one. Well, she was wrong and he wanted to prove it to her. But when she arrived with a date and cut his heart with a thousand razor blades, his belief that they had a future had taken a battering too.

He trudged to the shower and turned the water as hot as he could manage. He stood under the massaging jets, willing the spray to wash away his pain. As he lifted his head toward the nozzle, it wasn’t only water from the shower that flowed down his cheeks.

Fuck, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried over a woman. He remembered his eyes smarting when Bianca broke up with him, but he didn’t cry. Not like this.

Oh, he was really pathetic. Pathetically in love with Sarah.

*****

“H
ey, where were you? I was going to send out a search party,” Zach said with a concerned frown.

“I went for a walk,” Jeff answered.

“It’s raining.”

“Yeah. I got caught in it so I went to get changed. Anyway, why were you looking for me?”

“Why?” Zach asked as if he should know why.

“Yeah. Why?”

“It’s my engagement party, bro. I want you here to celebrate it with me.”

“Oh, Zachy. Did you miss me?” he teased, giving Zach an exaggerated hug.

“I’m worried about you,” Zach said, scowling.

“I’m fine,” he said blithely.

“Bull.”

“Well, what do you want me to do? Grab a microphone and tell all your guests that the birthday girl stuck more daggers in my heart by bringing a date with her tonight?”

“What? Who? Ash?” Zach asked incredulously.

Jeff gave his brother a dirty look. He didn’t need Zach lying to him to spare his feelings.

“He’s not her date, you idiot,” Zach said. “He’s Amanda’s brother.”

“I know that. But he’s also her date. Didn’t you see them when they arrived?”

“No. But if Ash is Sarah’s date tonight, Bec would have told me.”

“You think your fiancée will tell you everything?” he asked dryly.

“What I think is that you’ve lost perspective,” Zach said, looking at him intently. “Why don’t you just go talk to Sarah? I’ve noticed that she’s been glancing around a lot since she got here, as if looking for someone. I’m sure it’s you she’s looking for.”

Jeff went silent, looking unsure.

“Scared?” Zach asked quietly.

“Last time I spoke with her, she said she couldn’t see how we could make our relationship work. She said it would be toxic. Obviously, she’s finding it very difficult to trust me,” he said with bitterness.

Zach grabbed his arm and led him to a quiet corner where no one would notice them.

“Jeff, Sarah was really hurt when she discovered you’ve been hiding Bianca from her,” Zach said. “Apparently, her reaction to that has a lot to do with a bad experience from five years ago. She’d been engaged before too, and the guy cheated on her with his ex-girlfriend. Worse, the idiot even called his ex’s name while in bed with Sarah, then lied to her that he didn’t know such a person. The moron’s excuse was he was reading a book and the name stuck or something. Anyway, Sarah chose to believe him. Then a few weeks later, the guy broke up with her to go back to his ex-girlfriend whom he married shortly after. That’s why Sarah can’t handle you and Bianca working together. She’s scared that the same thing could easily happen again.”