Finding A Way (20 page)

Mac explained I needed to try not to move too much because if I moved, the bike would move with me. So, the more I sat still, the easier it would be for him to control the heavy machine which carried us through the roaring hills of the countryside.

I hear Mac flip on his blinker to pull into a small dirt area on the side of the road. I loosen my grip on him once he shut the bike off, but he seemed reluctant to let my hands leave his body. He grabs my hand, pulling it into his.

“What did you think?” he asks.

I smile behind him, watching his matching expression in the mirror.

“I love it. It’s the craziest feeling I’ve ever felt. I feel free.”

He nods his head, still watching me through the mirror.

“I knew you’d love it.”

When he breaks the contact by nudging me to get off, I bring my leg over the bike, being careful to avoid the extremely hot exhaust pipe, which he had warned me about earlier, too. He told me if I didn’t want a burn the size of Texas on my leg, then avoid the pipe at all costs.

Taking my helmet off, I walk around to stretch the muscles which are now cramped in my legs. There’s no pain worse than the pain I’m feeling now. I love the bike and everything, but my legs are not loving it as much as I am.

I hear Mac’s feet hit the dirt underneath his boots. He chuckles behind me, his feet coming to a stop behind me.

“You’ll get used to it; it won’t happen as often once you ride a couple times.”

“Does that mean you’ll take me again?” I ask, hopeful he’ll say yes.

Coming up behind me, I feel his hands slip around my waist. Pulling me closer into him, he whispers in my ear softly.

"If that's what ya want, Callie."

His voice makes chills break out all over my body. I smile, nodding my head. His arms wrapped around me feel right, like they’re meant to be there. They feel like they were always meant to be there.

"I would love to go again. I’m kind of in love with your bike Mac."

He chuckles into my hair, giving me a kiss on the top of my head. Pulling away, he reaches for my hands, tugging me down a small path which leads through the trees.

“Come on, I wanna show ya something. I think you’ll like it.”

There’s
a spot where I spend a lot of my time at when I ride by myself. I always stop here no matter what. It's a secluded area set back from the road. A creek runs a path through the vibrant green trees there, portraying a scene breathtaking enough to be one of those photographs people hang on their walls. It’s my oasis. Callie must agree.

"It's beautiful," she breathes out softly.

Yes, you are.

Instead of staring at the view I've seen countless times before, I focus on her. I focus on the highlights that play peek-a-boo in her deep red hair. I focus on the smile which displays on her face, accentuating her already existent beauty. How this girl doesn’t have men falling at her feet is beyond me. I’d fucking kill to have her as mine.

I urge her to turn toward me. Her face comes into my view and it takes my fucking breath away.

"You should smile more."

A beautiful shade of pink floats over her cheeks

"Thank you," she returns.

I take a seat on a rock that stands just above the water, leaving enough room for her to sit next to me. Taking her place, she scoots in.

“Quit bumping shoulders with me, buddy. It’s like playing footsie with me, except you’re using your big shoulders, so you’re cheating.” She lets out a loud, adorable laugh.

I act like I’m offended, but I’m not. Any form of touching her is all right in my book.

“Don’t be mad because you’re little. Just because I’m twice the size of you, doesn’t mean I’m cheating.”

She scoffs at me jokingly.

“Hey I may be little, but I’m freaking awesome. Thank you very much.”

Throwing my hands up in surrender, I use the distance between us to reach around her midsection to pull her body into me. She settles in between my legs and I rest my chin on top of her head. We fit like a fucking glove together. It’s the best damn feeling in the entire world to be this perfect with somebody else.

"Whatcha thinkin’ about?" I ask, urging her to open up.

Callie’s eyes take in the still creek and evergreen colored trees. She lets out a little noise. The noise makes my heart jump with emotion.

"I’m thinking about how much I like this. How much I like us. How perfect everything is right here, right now."

"Me too, Callie," I confirm.

I feel her breathing steady into a comfortable rhythm as she continues to talk. The only noise floating through my ears is my heart beating out of my chest. This girl makes me feel things I’ve only heard about. She makes me feel things I never even felt for Leah. It’s a scary fucking feeling.

"You know this," she gestures toward the creek and trees, "is something I appreciate. It's so peaceful here. No noise, no worries. Nothing but you and me."

Smirking into her hair, my arms squeeze her a little tighter. I place a soft kiss at the crown of her head, this time letting my lips linger there.

"You know, I guess the saying is true."

She tilts her head back, staring at me with her hypnotizing eyes, but questioning me silently.

"All good things are wild and free."

I watch her eyes light up at my quoting Henry
David Thoreau. Don’t ask me how I remember that shit. I just fucking do. In middle school, my crazy English teacher had the saying plastered all over her classroom walls, and I guess it stuck with me all these years.

When I said it though, I wasn't referring to the woods by any means. I was referring to her. Her carefree attitude, and her wild side which comes out to play every now and then, and not to mention how fucking good she is. Good for
me,
that is.

She lets a light “mmmm” noise I've heard a million times before, but hearing her make it, is my new favorite. I keep mentally adding things I like about her to the list in my head, and it's getting too fucking long to keep count now.

"I love that." She smiles, shifting in my arms.

We sit together, never breaking the contact once. I run my fingers along her hands in a steady motion and we find happiness in a comfortable silence. These are the moments I'd kill to have with her for the rest of my life. I feel like my barriers are breaking down. She’s making the walls I’ve worked so hard on building crumble to dust. I don’t even give a shit either. She could make my whole world crumble at my feet. So long as she was standing in the middle of the wreckage, I’d be the happiest mother fucker on the planet.

"Tell me about your ex."

I feel her stiffen with the mention of him, and I know this is a sore subject, but Leah was a sore subject for me, too. I let her in, I told her those things, and I need her to let me in now, too. I want to know about her. Her hopes, her dreams, her fears, and her past. Good, bad, I want every piece.

She takes a deep breath, speaking softly and unsteadily.

"His name was Derrick. He was my high school sweetheart, my one and only. We met when I was a freshman and he was a sophomore. He was the total opposite of me. The typical popular jock. I was the odd ball out, always with my nose stuck in a book instead of talking to people. Sierra is the reason I met him, actually." She pauses, blowing out a long breath before continuing. "We were friends, and she invited me to a party where he stuck up for me when some guys from my class were giving me a hard time about my huge boobs. Everything happened so fast after that. Before I knew it, I was graduating, and we were getting ready to go to college together. Then he was gone. He liked to drink, a lot. He was a bastard when he was drinking." She laughs lightly to herself. "It's not really funny what he used to do to me, but I guess when you love someone, you end up sacrificing a part of yourself to fit their wants and needs. Love makes people do stupid things, and I was the dumbest girl on the planet."

My body tenses as I listen to her. That motherfucker better not have hit her. I swear, I will find his grave and dig the piece of shit up and kill him all over again. I wouldn't think twice about doing it. I need to know.

"Did he hit you?" I ask, trying to stay calm.

"God, no!" she squeaks loudly. My body instantly relaxes.

"He was verbally abusive when he was drunk, but he never laid a hand on me. He liked…uh...having his cake and eating it too. With multiple girls..."

Once again, I'm pissed off at this guy. How he could ever cheat on a woman like this is beyond me. If she was mine, my eyes wouldn't fucking stray a millimeter from her. Not that they don't already, and she's not even mine yet. I've probably showed her more attention than he ever had.

"He was an asshole then, and he didn't deserve you," I comment sternly, running my lips over her hair.

"He was an asshole," she clarifies. "But he was my first. My first everything, and I had a special thing with him. I couldn't control it. In my eyes, he did no wrong, and I realize now it was stupid of me because he was screwing everything that walked."

I listen to her, enjoying the sound of her voice, completely wrapped up in it. I memorize every giggle, every sigh, and every smile.

"I let Derrick drive that night, you know. I was completely sober, and I did nothing as he got in the driver’s seat. I killed him, Mac, and that's why my parents made me get help. They knew I did it. They knew I killed him. So, they figured some medication would make me forget. But I will never forget."

I reach up, tilting her head back by her chin, making her look me in the eyes. I can see how this crushes her. What the fuck is wrong with her parents, letting her believe she killed him? It was his fucking choice to drive, not hers. He made his own mistakes.

"You did not kill him. He killed himself, Callie. It’s not your fault," I argue, trying to be very clear.

She lets out a sigh. I can tell she’s heard it a thousand times before. Silence filters through the air, surrounding us both.

"I tried to kill myself once. I blamed it on the medication I was taking, but I was fully aware of what I was doing. I counted out every pill I washed down with a bottle of vodka. Twelve pills and twelve shots. I couldn't deal with it. I told everyone I was good, but I was never good. Guilt isn't something that just goes away, and no one seems to understand. They didn't see him, Mac. They didn't see him splattered across the road like a possum who got ran over and left there. I saw it though, and I'll never forget it."

Her breathing picks up and her body shakes lightly while she cries in my arms. I instinctively soothe her by turning her around and placing her head into the crook of my neck. I speak softly to her in her ear, soothing her.

"It's okay sweetheart. I got you covered now. Everything's gonna be okay."

I keep repeating this until she calms down enough to stop crying. She pulls away from me, letting me get a good look at her now tear streaked face. She's still beautiful as fuck even when she's a blubbering mess. I could take this woman in any way she would give me. Her tears, her laugh, her smile, her scowls. I'll take every inch if she'll let me.

She laughs softly, a hiccup escaping.

"Nothing like casual conversation, huh?"

I let out a soft chuckle, running my hand along her smooth skin on her cheek.